It was a hot day for Rome in September. The sun streamed down on the cobblestone streets and baked the brick sidewalks. For those unused to the heat, it was a new type of misery, and to those accustomed to it, it was a monotonous and familiar torture. All in all, there was a general feeling of despair in the large and well-furnished conference room, as well as an unwritten and desperate desire to go to the beach. A slight buzz of speech colored the undertone of disgruntled silence in the air. The people in this room were well versed in the careful and meticulous art of complaining, for they were countries, both cursed and blessed with the burden of immortality and representation of nations.
As the temperature climbed into the 40's and not a whisper of a breeze whistled through the air, their burden began to feel more and more like a curse. By now, the more rambunctious were considering just blowing off the meeting, while the slightly less so were hoping that they would in order that they would have an excuse to do so as well. However as country after country filed in, everyone resigned themselves to wasted time, and incredible torment.
The blonde man at the head of the table, Germany, cleared his throat. "Vhat Dummkopfs! Vhere are Italy and Romano? They are supposed to be leading this meeting!"
A cheerful brown-haired man with a definite hangover raised his hand. "I haven't seen Romano or Feli since last night," he remarked, "but if the amount of wine they had last night is anything to go off of, I would say they slept in."
"Vhat idiots!" mumbled a disgruntled Germany "they should know not to drink the night before a meeting!"
"Don't be jerk Vest! You know you had seven beers last night!" shouted a white haired man with an incredibly obnoxious laugh.
Germany almost looked offended, but then, the double French doors were thrown open with a crash and all was forgotten, because that's when everything went to hell.
Lovino ran in. He wore a loose grey t-shirt, and combat boots. He looked as if he had dressed in a hurry. He was carrying a pistol, and had turned and crouched, facing the door as if expecting something. "Get down!" he screamed. The nations all dived under the table, years of combat experience had taught them the importance of those words. The eldest Italian brother crouched in front of the table, muscles tensed, pistol cocked and ready, but hands shaking. Something terrible must have happened, and then terrible walked through the door.
Italy Veniciano Vargas walked in the entryway. A grin of malice adorned his face. There was something sadistic about his smile, and the way he twirled a razor sharp knife in his black gloved hand. The nations looked on in horror and realized there was something horribly, terribly wrong.
Shot after shot rang out, Romano had fired; but each one grew more and more wild and inaccurate. The closest grazed Italy's cheek, the farthest nearly hit America. Romano's hands were shaking violently, and if one had looked closer, one could have seen the tears seeping through his eyes threatening to fall. "Vhat are you doing Romano!?" cried Germany. He stood up to, hand stretched out to stop him.
"No bastardo! stay where you are!" Romano tackled the tall nation to the ground. "He would never forgive himself if he attacked you" he hissed.
"Fratello...!" rang out Italy's normally kind voice. "I'm bored of our games! Let's play something new! No more tag, let's play...pin the tale on the donkey!"
"Feli! come on," shouted Romano, "I know you are in there, even if that bastard Luciano got out!"
"Now you're no fun are you! You guessed right away that I wasn't poor sweet little Italy." You know your brother so well don't you, you love him too, for all your poor little inferiority complex. You are fond of little Italy aren't you?"
"Romano shook slightly, but still stood his ground. "Come on big brother, say it, say you love him and I'll consider letting him go" came Italy's sickly-sweet voice.
"Romano ground his teeth. "Fine! Yes I love him, he's my brother, of course I love him, now let him go!"
Italy looked like he was thinking. "Ummmmmmmm...How about no!" He let out a terrible laugh of exhilaration. "Here's the deal, if you play two truths and one lie with me, I'll let him go for sure."
Romano looked desperate. He knew the probability that Luciano was lying, but there were few other options. "Fine, I will play. But you must swear on the Holy Mother that you will set him free afterwards."
"I swear on the Holy Mother and on all that is good and holy in this land" shouted Italy. "Now that that is over with let me tell you the rules."
Suddenly, a sickening thump was heard, as well as a grunt of pain. Alfred, who had been stealthily making his way behind Italy, had fallen to his knees clutching his stomach, a knife protruding from his gut.
"Alfred!" cried England. He made a move to get up, but was stopped by a pistol cocked and loaded and pointed his way.
"Oh he'll be fine," said Italy dismissively, " he'll just die and come back to life. Though I do have to admit I wouldn't want to be him," America groaned in the background, "it is a rather painful and long way to die."
England looked murderous, but slowly retreated back under the table. "Now where were we?" Italy continued. "Ah yes, rules. The basic principle of the game is the same as usual except that we both have to promise not to lie, and whoever looses after two turns has to die."
"Fine," grunted out Romano. The other countries looked shocked. "I swear," Italy gave him a pointed look, "I swear on the Holy Mother and on all that is good and holy in this land."
"Excellent, I'll begin." said Italy excitedly, "1. Feliciano loves Ludwig more than Romano 2. Feliciano finds Romano useless. and 3. Feliciano wishes Romano had never been born so they wouldn't have to share their country.
After each statement, Romano began to waver. It was as if each statement was physically affecting him. His legs trembled, until finally he fell. "Romano!" yelled Spain worriedly.
"Stay bastardo! I don't want him to kill you too!"
"Yes yes very wise older brother." said Italy. "Now which one is a lie?"
"Italy! Stop this madness!" shouted Germany.
Italy's head swiveled over to Germany, "Now now Doitsu, this is important, stay on the ground where you belong! We wouldn't want big brother Romano to lose the game now would we? I don't know if his heart could survive another blow. Now big brother, which is the lie?"
"None...none of them are true!..." but after each word, Romano seemed to grow weaker and weaker. "I am not useless! I am here for a reason!"
"Now now brother! We know that is not true, you know I can't lie. We don't need you anymore. I am plenty enough for one country. There is no need for two Italy's. You have to go! Italy's smile seemed to grow even wider, and more cruel. He looked down at Romano with something akin to joy; a twisted, sick joy. A joy that did not even deserve the name.
Romano's eyes drifted closed slowly, his mouth barely forming his last words. "You broke the rules Luciano, you lied."
At his words, Italy turned around and for a second, a blip in the fabric of time, the nations almost thought they saw a tear fall from his eyes. But then in a moment, it was gone. He kneeled at his brother's body and made the sign of the cross, then crouched further and whispered something into his ear. "I didn't, its all true. I cannot lie, you know I can't. I die if I lie. It was the irony of Fate, letting us live inside you all but never allowing us to use all our tricks to achieve our true purpose." Suddenly, he stopped, as if realization of some grand purpose, slowly but surely a harsh laugh rang out across the room. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You do realize what this means older brother?!" Italy looked at Romano's still form and slowly closing eyelashes. "It means that Italy is finally whole again! Without the will of your younger, stronger, more important and loved brother, you cannot exist. He was keeping you alive, but I have started the process of killing you! It won't be so easy to reverse it either. Italy looked on the scene with joy and sadistic pleasure.
Romano at his feet, practically dead, a groaning and dying America, a shocked and distraught world. It was chaos and he loved it. "I have accomplished what I came for. Feliciano's life is now a living hell. Goodbye all! Don't let the bedbugs bite while I'm gone! But actually...now that I think about it...let those suckers breed!"