AN: Why am I such a piece of shit? Don't worry, my self-esteem's fine, but just… my relationship with deadlines. Deadlines? It's not you, it's me. It's always me. Also to clarify, this isn't every entry in the book, just a few that tell a story. First excerpt takes place after chapter 3, the last is after chapter 6.
Reader,
If you are in possession of this book, you can assume that I am no longer in this world, and due to the circumstances in which I left, this book remains unaltered.
I ask you to keep every other page unturned and burn this book where you stand. If you are of Fire Nation affiliation, I plead the Law of Agni in connection with the warriors' duty to abjure from sullying a fallen man's memory. If you are affiliated with the Earth Kingdom, Water Tribe or any form of insurgency against the tyranny of the Phoenix King, I plead you to honor the wishes of a distant ally.
10th December 111 A.G
I hate Gaoling. The people don't even tip well.
12th December 111 A.G
I've stayed here too long. The man at the teashop recognizes me now, well, not me me, but Lee, he knows Lee and that means I've stayed too long.
10*2+5+2*5= 35
I saved 35 throughout the month. I'll need at least a week of supplies. A bag of feed for the ostrich-horse costs 5 here, so I'll break even. I won't have any left for my rations.
4̶*̶7̶ ̶=̶ ̶2̶8̶ ̶3̶5̶-̶2̶8̶ ̶=̶ ̶7̶
3*7 = 21 35-21 = 14
I'll need to barter the price down to 3 copper. I'll earn a bit more tonight, but I can't stay any longer. I'll sell the horn if it comes down to it.
14th December 111 A.G
I can't sleep. I forgot to buy extra blankets in the middle of the damn winter. The others used to take care of this stuff. I'm useless on my own.
I can't even start a fire because who knows how far that guard followed me. Note: never travel at night, on back roads, if you can pass off as a regular traveler. Pass off, what am I saying, I am a regular traveler. It's not like I'm a criminal right, it's not like I'm doing anything illegal, not like I even know where I'm going.
I don't even have the mask on me. Just the face, I guess, makes it a little risky.
Dawn and afternoon would be the best time to leave. There'd be other people I could hide behind and that would be before they switched guards, so whoever's on the lookout would be half asleep anyway. That's kind of a plan, right.
It's like I'm on that damned ship again, just floating around, pretending I know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm chasing a ghost again. Either way, I'd say this times worse.
Still a few hours to burn. Agni, it's cold. Wouldn't it be great if I just froze out here? Alone, after everything that's happened, just out in the forest where no one'll ever find me. Ironic. Maybe they'll find me and figure it all out. I'd get to die twice. At least last time I went out with a show, this time I just deserve it.
Whatever. If it happens, it happens, I'm going to sleep. I need to figure out a plan tomorrow and that takes a lot more energy than dying. I've got enough experience to know that.
29th December 111 A.G
The towns in the Earth Kingdom countryside have gotten… productive. The farmland's better than ever, but I can't say the same for the people.
The machinery helps, and the Fire Nation certainly has ways of turning a profit, but people in the fields are either barely past their childhood years or a few years over their retirement. There aren't many young women or men around, what with most of the generation either dead or behind bars.
That would be my fault. Now I get too many stares along the road.
Well, at the very least, the people here are generous enough to trade an afternoon of work with food and board. It's probably the only reason I've stayed alive this long. The man I boarded with today seemed willing to feed me just to have some company. It it weren't for his cataracts, I'm sure he would've recognized me by now and I don't think I can bear that again.
I wonder if I'll find Uncle somewhere in this sandpit. No. No, he would've picked somewhere smarter. The guards cycle through this place too much. Entire divisions march through every season, crashing through doors and collecting taxes by the cartful. From what I see, the injustice doesn't rile anyone up anymore.
So much has changed. I wonder if I've wasted my chance completely.
The man's calling me again. He made tea. I think I'll brew him some in the morning before I go on my way again. Wherever that is.
10th January 112 A.G
It hasn't been a complete waste. A pouch of copper isn't really worth the march through the swamp, but it isn't nothing. This hideout's been raided already, but since nothing's torn up or burned, I'd say it was the swampbenders or some desperate rebels.
There's a decent amount in the pouch. I'll hold on to it. Maybe I'll actually need it one day.
22nd February 112 A.G
Why did I come here? I don't know. At this point, it's really just a question of why not. The swamp just funneled into the Hu Xin province and the natural flow of travelers lead to the colonies. Who knows? The spirits lead the Avatar to my port that night, who knows what else they have planned? If I don't get caught, this might be a good thing.
If I don't get caught. The spirits always leave it up to me to take care of that.
9th April 112 A.G
They always go north.
13th April 112 A.G
Before dawn: ||||
Three cargo ships stay at port. One warship from last night leaves port, heading north-east.
Sunrise:||||||
Four passing, a cargo ship eastward, three cruisers north. One cargo from before leaves east. A passenger ship enters and leaves back south. A battleship makes port.
Noon:|||||
The battleship leaves north. Another passenger ship stays. The rest are passing cargo, one makes port, two go north-east, one goes true north.
Evening: |
A battleship passes, southward. A messenger hawk flies south. It lands on the ship. The ship changes course, northbound.
14th April 112 A.G
Shooting messenger hawks is a horrible business. First, buying a bow leaves me without a meal today, but I would've shot fire at the birds had I had to. Using fire is inhumane, and draws too much attention anyway. Even with a bow it draws too much attention. And then of course there's the sheer difficulty of it. The birds fly high, the only chance I get is either to shoot them close to the base, where they haven't gained altitude yet, or figure out where they like to perch to rest. And I'm not that great a shot. It's a horrible business.
I've shot two. They're messages meant nothing to me, but I have to keep trying, on the small chance that that ship meant something. It'll be dark soon, and then I'll have to rest.
Here's comes another one.
It's a monthly report on the base here. It's not what I need. The prison there is overfilled and understaffed, it seems. That's worth noting for later.
Another. I missed.
It's dark now. Pray I find something tomorrow. It would be stupid to risk staying another day.
15th April 112 A.G
I heard gossip about downed hawks already. Agni, I spend half a year wandering like a fool and when I finally have a sliver of a purpose I can't do anything but fail.
I missed. I'm one arrow down.
I missed.
I missed.
Another perched. Trade agreements.
Here's another. Missed. The sun is high.
Another. Agni. What else could I expect. I need to write to the North -
I hear footsteps.
17th April 112 A.G
Draft:
The Northern Water Tribe
P̶r̶a̶y̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶N̶o̶r̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶r̶e̶e̶d̶o̶m̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶d̶i̶r̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶a̶i̶t̶s̶.̶ ̶F̶o̶r̶ ̶w̶e̶e̶k̶s̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶r̶s̶h̶i̶p̶s̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶l̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶m̶e̶r̶ ̶E̶a̶r̶t̶h̶ ̶K̶i̶n̶g̶d̶o̶m̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶d̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶d̶i̶r̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.̶ ̶A̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶d̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶s̶s̶a̶g̶e̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶u̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶a̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶c̶o̶a̶s̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶a̶r̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶c̶h̶e̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶d̶s̶,̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶f̶a̶r̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶t̶h̶.̶
T̶h̶e̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶ ̶N̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶n̶t̶i̶e̶r̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶n̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.̶Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶a̶f̶e̶g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶v̶a̶t̶a̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶l̶e̶f̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶F̶i̶r̶e̶l̶o̶r̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶a̶i̶n̶.̶ ̶An attack is imminent. They plan to strike in the summer, when fire's power is greatest. The Avatar is no longer safe within your walls. M̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶t̶e̶.̶
T̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶o̶r̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶d̶i̶r̶e̶c̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶h̶a̶w̶k̶s̶'̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶g̶s̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶s̶s̶a̶g̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶f̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶i̶g̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶q̶u̶e̶l̶l̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶d̶e̶c̶e̶p̶t̶i̶o̶n̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶c̶a̶u̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶s̶e̶n̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶p̶r̶a̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶l̶i̶e̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶w̶a̶r̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.̶
̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶d̶o̶w̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶f̶r̶e̶e̶d̶o̶m̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶p̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶u̶s̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶o̶n̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶w̶e̶'̶d̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶.̶ ̶B̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶r̶i̶t̶s̶'̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶p̶r̶a̶y̶ ̶A̶g̶n̶i̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶t̶e̶c̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶
Z̶u̶k̶o̶
It's a cry in the dark. They don't need to hear it.
2nd May 112 A.G
Omashu is behind me and the letter is on its way, strapped on the back of the oldest hawk in the city. The keeper looked at me weirdly when I asked, but only the oldest bird would have had any idea how to get to the North Pole.
I need to get to Tu Zin. If the Avatar decides to leave the North Pole, I have to be there. The chances of the Avatar remembering the meeting point is tiny, and the chances of him actually going there is even less. That's not even considering whether Toph decides to come. But there's nowhere else to go, and the if it's meant to be, the spirits will lead them to me.
I have to write a letter to her, too. I should practice my penmanship.
4th May 112 A.G
Food- 20
Feed- 25
Pen and paper- 10
Map- 5
Shovel - 10
=70
Busking's not going to be able to pay for this week. I'll have to find work.
30th May 112 A.G
Tu Zin. The ghost town. What did Sokka always say about it? It was dead years before we got to it, but when we left, there were plenty more ghosts.
True enough, but at least the blood's been blown away. The building's are still up for the most part, the land was bare enough to be ignored by the Fire Nation and this was the place that the tunnels came closest to the earth. I'd never seen it in daylight, but it seemed like a decent place to have a hideout.
There's some tables I could scavenge and if I could buy a new mattress I'll have a bed for the first time in months. I could start chopping at the houses and sell the spare timber in the town. The well works. I haven't seen a dead body. Seems great.
I'll start digging into the tunnels tomorrow. It'll take a while. The sand will keep slipping back down every shovelful I dig out, but at least it's diggable and not ice hard like the dirt up north. It'll be awhile, and who knows if it'll even be worth it. It's doable, and I'll do it.
Spring's broken. Being busy is one of the greatest blessings the spirits could have given me.
5th June 112 A.G
Practice:
Fire. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Water. Earth
Fire. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Water. Earth.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
fire air water earth fire air water earth fire air water earth
Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz
Fire. Air. Water. Earth.
Decent. I'll practice again tomorrow.
7th June 112 A.G
I broke into the tunnel today. I dropped the letter in, but I didn't go in. I'd never be able to navigate down there and I probably wouldn't have been able to climb out. Funny how you gotta look at everything differently when the others aren't around. If Toph was around, I'd never have considered dedicating a week into digging up the tunnels. Maybe I'll be reborn an earthbender one day. It would definitely be helpful right now.
I'll have to cover the hole again. It seems like a decency. Hopefully someone down there will choose to wander that tunnel and have the sense to give the letter to her. I can't even guarantee that. If it does get that far, it's all up to Toph.
Food is running low, I'll need to visit the town. Summer is almost here, and any minute away from Tu Zin might be risky. Never thought there'd be a day when there were too many place to be at once.
26th June 112 A.G
The air is getting warmer. It's not time to get worried yet. Never worry. I'm on a crossroads of chance and mistakes. If this isn't where they're meant to go, I'd hope to never see them. But I have to stay. This is the only place I have a purpose to be.
Bah. What am I even saying. I'm heat fried and water deprived. Not even 30 and you're going crazy. What would uncle say?
11th July 112 A.G
The Avatar is here and Toph isn't. Was he always so childlike? He's mature for his age sure, but so young.
He's staying in a house across from mine. I think we both feel comfortable away from each other. But I'll have to give him food, and questions are bound to come. I have no answers. I'm completely at her mercy right now, and if she doesn't come, what do I do with him?
Agni, you gave me a year to figure this out and here I am, failing again. Peace. I'll make the best of it. The North Pole. I have to ask him how things are. Sokka and Katara, did they make it out?
Spirits, were they alive? I haven't let myself ask that in years. Did Sokka follow the path? Was Iroh with them? Was Mai-
There he is. He's coming here.
12th July 112 A.G
It has been a long day. The sun went down hours ago, and even now I'm holding a flame for light in one hand and the pen in the other. The Avatar's asleep by now, I hope.
The boy's quite a character. He's cheerful and thankful and hopefully doesn't realize how tense the situation is. We have a few days at best. He flew over the smoke when he escaped the Water Tribe, so they might not have seen him. That's another extra day, maybe.
I won't bring it up. The boy's tense enough already, he tries not to show it, but the attack on the North has him stressed. Being around me probably has him stressed as well. But he's determined, very determined. He disappeared for a hundred years and it's his duty to restore balance, he said. There could be worse Avatars.
And Katara was his waterbending teacher. I mean, who else would they have picked. And Sokka gave him the map. He offered it back to me, but I don't think I could stand to look at it again. I told him to keep it.
Oh, the luck. I get to go to sleep knowing they're alive, but who knows for how long, now that the Fire Nation's at their doorstep. I think I'd rather go back to thinking they were dead.
My hand's are shaking again. Not even thirty and you're losing. Sleep now, tomorrow will be smoother. Aang offered to help cut the wood.
14th July 112 A.G
Toph came. She opened the tunnel and told Aang to come with her. I don't think he wanted to go, the bison at the very least seemed to hate going underground, but they went. If she noticed me, and of course she did, Toph didn't show it.
15th July 112 A.G
Food is low. The timber isn't worth much at market anymore, but I can sell the shovel now. Maybe I can finally buy another tsungi horn.
AN:
I'm content with this chapter. It's a little gimmicky but it's a great compromise between character inspection and plot movement.
Here's a quick timeline of all the dates revealed so far. You can find all the info in the story, but it takes a bit of quick math and I find that looking at it head on helps it sink in better. Even I find myself forgetting ages and projecting the characters years off than what they're meant to be.
100 A.G – Ozai carries out his doomsday plan, captures Ba Sing Se.
103 A.G. – The starts of a rebellion appear. Zuko is 19.
105 A.G. – Katara, 19*, and Sokka, 20, join the fight.
109 A.G. – The rebellion ends.
111 A.G. – The Avatar returns. Toph is 23, Katara is 26, Sokka is 27, Zuko is 28, and Aang is 12.
112 A.G. – Aang leaves the North Pole.
*In chapter 4, I originally noted Katara as being 21 at the time. This has been fixed.
As to why I have a 17 in my name: The Pro-Bending Circuit is in a new season! Sign-ups are closed, but come support the writers! Or sign up as a reserve to back up teams when they need it! From what I've seen, the competition creates some quality work. And guess who's judging… is me. Me is judging. And for as long I am a judge, I'll be wearing that number on my name. Link to the forum on my profile, or just search up probending circuit and you'll find it. Or slap this on the back of the FFN address: /forum/Pro-bending-Circuit/164505/
Sign up as a Reserve if you can!