A/N I just wanted to thank everyone for being so patient with the long hiatus between updates and give a special shout out to Faith, Katmar1994 (bonus points because she favorited it too), and tmntCupcakefan for taking the time to leave a review. A huge thank you as well to Hamato Sakura for following this story and to cynderdragoner, and wolfzero7 for adding it to your favorites. Knowing that you guys are as invested in this story as I am motivates me to keep going.
Faith: You brought up an excellent idea about introducing the Daimyo and while I don't plan for him to appear in this story I am fleshing out ideas for a sequel where he will feature heavily along with Usagi.
If anyone has any suggestions, requests, or feedback please do not hesitate to let me know. I'll also be going through the chapters in the next few days correcting spelling and grammatical errors.
The sound of shattering glass in the kitchen alerted Natalie to the fact that something was wrong. With a groan she climbed out of bed and went to investigate. Pale moonlight filled the room, reflecting off the broken glass that was now scattered across the floor. Fear began to rise up her throat like bile as she turned her attention to the masked man in front of her. The black clad intruder raised his gun and pointed it straight at her chest. She opened her mouth to try to scream but nothing came out. Her mind was yelling at her to run, fight, do anything but her body had shut down. All she could do was stand there helplessly and wait for death. Pure, unadulterated terror filled her and the last thing she heard was the deafening crack of the gunshot.
Natalie jolted awake clutching her aching chest. Another nightmare. Another cursed nightmare. Drenched in a cold sweat she slipped through the living room and up into the garage. With the flick of a switch clean fluorescent light filled the room. Tucked in the corner next to the Shell Cycle was her own pride and joy.
Natalie opened the cabinet under Raph's workbench and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a rocks glass. She poured herself a generous drink and took her customary seat on the overturned bucket between the two motorcycles. "Hey Jacq. Don't worry you're almost done. Just a little bit longer and you'll be better than the day I got you." Her delicate fingers traced down the mint green tank and across the worn black leather seat. "Dad promised you would take me great places, some place I could be free. Nice to know that's one promise he could keep." Outside the garage she could hear the cacophony of cars, sirens, and shouting but the silence inside the garage was maddening. On the workbench near by she spied her cellphone. She reached for it and hit play on a random song. A soft and eerie melody echoed from the speakers and Natalie began to sing along softly, "The burning desire to live and roam free. It shines in the dark and it grows within me. You're holding my hand but you don't understand so where I am going, you wont be in the end."
"Couldn't sleep?" Donatello's calm voice jolted her back to reality.
She turned to face him and shrugged. "'Nother nightmare. Don't worry," She held up her half empty glass, "I'm already taking care of it. What are you doing up? Working on a project or something?"
He crossed the garage and leaned up against the Battle Shell. "Same reason as you apparently."
"Well I'm not surprised," She said, "That amount of horrifying bullshit you guys have gone through it's amazing you're all as well adjusted as you are." Natalie gave him a sympathetic look. "Do you want to talk about it?"
With a sigh he sat down on the ground beside her, "Sometimes it's about the Shredder and how we almost died on his spaceship. Other times Bishop is about to dissect one of my brothers and I can't stop him. When I wake up I can still hear Mikey screaming over the rotary saw carving through his..." His voice broke and he had to take a deep breath before he could continue. "Most of the time though it's about when Draco and the Ultimate Ninja sent as to those different dimensions. The one I was in, where Shredder had one. I sent my brothers to their deaths. What kind of brother does that? Every night I watch them die all over again."
He felt Natalie's cool hand squeeze his shoulder while silent tears ran down his cheeks "They don't know do they? About what happened there?" Wordlessly he shook his head. "I'm sorry."
Seconds turned into minutes as they sat there seeking each other's silent comfort. "What are your nightmares about?" He finally said at last.
Beside him he felt Natalie stiffen and push herself up. He watched as she poured another drink and down it in one swallow. "I'm dying." She said with her back turned to him, "The method is always different but the end result is the same. Like you I'm helpless to do anything about it. I want to fight back or run but I'm just frozen even though on the inside I'm screaming. Sometimes the nightmare doesn't end when I wake up. My mind is awake, my eyes are open but I still can't move. I can feel something in the room, hunting, stalking me, and even in the real world I can't do anything about it. Now I feel a little selfish after hearing yours. Maybe if I had someone to lose that's what I'd dream about too."
Done knew he should let that last comment slide but he couldn't help himself. "You've got people to lose now. Master Splinter, my brothers, me."
She gave him a wan smile, "Too true Einstein. You guys are the closest thing to family I've ever had."
An uncomfortable silence settled in the room. "Your nightmares, you get them every night?" She only nodded. "I sleep right next door. How come I never heard you?"
"The first time I remember having a nightmare as a kid I woke up screaming and ran into my parent's room. My dad tried to comfort me. I remember," Her voice took on a wistful tone, "he stroked my hair and told me that no monsters were going to get past him. He would protect me from the bad things. It was just starting to work when Mom pushed him out of the way, he cracked his head against the dresser and just went limp, then she began to beat me for waking her up. By the time she was done I wished the monsters had gotten me instead. I never went to them for comfort again."
Donnie sat there in stunned silence. He remembered when he and his brothers had nightmares as kids. Master Splinter was always there to soothe them. He had never once complained of all the times that they had run into his room in the middle of the night screaming and crying incoherently. Don tried to imagine Splinter hitting them outside of training and couldn't. How could a parent do that to their own child?
Natalie downed one last drink before turning back to him, "I'm gonna go back to bed. Thanks for the talk."
"You're welcome," As he watched her walk back to the lair he wondered if he should have tried to comfort her. She was always so closed off and strong that he didn't know how she would react. Would she withdraw deeper into herself or would it open the floodgates? As much as he hated unanswered questions he knew that there was nothing he could do about it right now. A yawned escaped him and he decided that she had had the right idea and headed back to bed himself.
The next morning when Don woke up Natalie and Mikey were already hogging the couch. Credits were rolling on the TV and recognized it as an episode of their cartoon. The next episode began to play and Don watched the look of confusion spread across Mikey's face, "Hold up." His youngest brother said, "Where's the episode with Donnie and the dimension Ultimate Draco sent him to?"
He couldn't see Natalie's face but he saw her shoulders shrug, "They never made one I guess. One of those lost episode type deals. No one knows why."
"Aww man," Mikey complained, "He never told us what world he got sent to and I thought I was finally going to find out."
"Dunno what to tell you dude. The episode doesn't exist." She slapped Mikey on the knee, "C'mon why don't you show me how to make eggs."
Donnie watched as they walked into the kitchen, she glanced back and gave him a quick wink. The promise of food lured Don into the kitchen as well. Master Splinter was already at the table nursing a cup of green tea. Remembering last night he wrapped his father in a hug. "Thank you Sensei for all that you've done for us. You're a great dad."
After he released Master Splinter from his embrace the old rat turned to look at him. "I do not know what has brought this on Donatello, but it has always been my privilege to be your father. No man, or rat, could ask for better sons."
In the corner of his eye Don saw Natalie stop whisking the eggs, the faintest hint of a tear lingered at the corner of her eye. She caught his eye for just a moment but turned away.
His last to brothers burst into the kitchen, "Yo what's for breakfast?" Raph asked his voice still thick with fatigue.
Natalie turned too him whisk still in hand, "It's supposed to be scrambled eggs but I make no promises."
Mikey threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, "Don't sell yourself short dudette. I'll make a proper cook out of you yet."
"How did you live on your own for so long without learning to how to cook?" Leo asked.
Natalie poured the soon to be scrambled eggs into the waiting pan. "Have you read my work? I eat out all the time. My definition of cooking is pouring hot water over anything with 'instant' in the name. I may be good at a lot of things but cooking is not one of them." She turned back to the stove to make sure breakfast didn't burn, doing her to best to fold them gently over each other.
"Don't sweat it," Mikey said, peeping over her shoulder, "You're doing fine so far. I'd just turn the heat up a couple of notches though." Dutifully she turned the stove dial up two notches, her eyes never leaving the pan. "You know even if you burn them I'm sure Raph will still eat them." He skidded over to the kitchen table and gave his bleary eyed elder brother a noogie, "Raphie boy has no taste when it comes to fine cuisine."
Raph shoved him off with a glare but said nothing. Instead he turned to Natalie who was dividing the fluffy, unburnt eggs onto five plates, "What are you working tonight?"
She strode over to the table and handed him a plate. "Three to three, so don't wait up."
I'm going to and you can't stop me said the look he gave her. Raph had made sure that he was there to walk her home every night since her attempted mugging.
"I don't need your protection." She said, poking him in the plastron.
With a smirk he shoved her hand away and began shoveling eggs into his face. "These 'er good." He said with his mouth full.
She gave the other five members of the Hamato clan a pleading look.
"Forget it Natalie," Don piped up, "Arguing with Raph is like arguing with a rock, or Leo, either way you're not going to win."
There was no amusement in her eyes when she turned back to Raph, "I'm serious Raph. I don't need you to walk me home."
The sound of his chair clattering to the floor made the entire room freeze, "The first night you went out you almost got mugged!"
"Yeah and I put both those bastards in the hospital with literally one arm. I can take care of myself."
"And I'm sayin' ya don't have to."
Electricity filled the air between them until Natalie caved, "Fine do whatever the hell you want. I'm going to bed." She stalked off to her room and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "asshole."
It took most of her self control to not slam the door behind her. Hands shaking she poured herself three fingers of whiskey and downed it in one swallow before collapsing on the bed. Her eyes burned from fatigue but sleep would not come. She closed her eyes and tried to tell herself a story but her mind kept wandering to unpleasant places she had sworn to never think of. Another drink burned down her throat in a vain attempt to drown the past. Down the hall she heard Raphael's door slam and she winced at the unbidden memory it brought forth.
Years ago, in another city, another dimension, another door slammed. Once again she was seven years old. Her mother was sitting on the couch, crying into a bottle of Bacardi, miscellaneous pills spread out over the coffee table. Samantha was staring at the door, angry silent tears running down her face. Natalie's tiny feet guided her to the door. She threw it open and saw her dad getting on to his motorcycle, a duffel bag strapped to the passenger seat. "Daddy, don't leave!" The hot pavement burned her feet as she ran towards him. He stopped, hand hovering over the throttle. Try as she might she couldn't stop the tears from spilling over and she looked down at the ground so he wouldn't see.
"Natasha." He wrapped her in a hug, "I can't stay. Your mother is just...too much for me to handle."
She wiped the tears away and looked up at him with those wide blue eyes that always got her what she wanted, "Then take me with you."
A sad smile ghosted across his face, "I wish I could sweetheart but you need your mother. It wouldn't be right to separate you from her, or your sister."
"I hate them." She pouted and kicked at the ground.
"Don't say that. They're your family, you should love them." He put both hands on her shoulders, "Look at me Natasha." Like a good daughter she obeyed, "I know your mom has a lot of issues and Sam's not always nice but you're strong. My big strong girl, and one day you're going to grow up into a strong woman. One day you'll understand that this is for the best." He pulled her into one last hug, and when he pulled away his own cheeks were wet, "I love you, never ever forget that." The motorcycle roared to life and she could only watch her father drive away, knowing that she'd never see him again.
The memory shattered the same time her glass hit the wall. With tear filled eyes she looked from her empty hand to the pile on the floor. Mentally and emotionally exhausted she fell back onto the bed and slipped into another fitful sleep.
Hours later her alarm and she got out of bed with a grumble. Half asleep she stumbled to the bathroom for a shower, only vaguely aware of several pairs of eyes following her with a mixture of concern and curiosity. When she emerged, fully dressed in a plain black tank top and jean shorts, she spied Raphael on the couch watching the news with Leo. A part of her wanted to talk to him, apologize for her behavior but her feet continued moving forward with a mind of their own and she left the lair without a word.
The clock on Donatello's computer read 2:45 AM when he came out of his self-imposed trance and heard the telltale sounds of Raphael pounding away at his punching bag. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to meet Natalie. She gets out in a few minutes."
Without looking up the brother replied, "She didn't want me to walk her home so I won't. I know where I'm not wanted."
"Suit yourself." Don replied before heading to bed.
Raph continued with his workout until he saw it was almost four. Where is she? There's no way it takes her this long to walk home. He started to head for the surface to look for her when he heard movement upstairs in the garage. "Natalie?" He rushed upstairs to find her hunched over the sink pulling glass and gravel out of her hands with a set of tweezers, a first aid kit laid out on the table next to her. "What the hell happened?"
In her reflection one eye was swollen shut and a bubble of coagulated blood clung to her lip, "You were right and I'm an idiot." She replied, voice dripping with venom.
"Natalie," His voice quavered with the effort of trying to keep his temper in check, "Who did this to you?"
"Remember those assholes that jumped me a few weeks ago? Same guys, 'cept this time they brought friends." Pouring alcohol over her wounds Natalie hissed as it burned away any signs of infection. "Fuck that hurts."
"And here I thought you were a good fighter," He joked to ease both their worries.
More alcohol and another wince, "I am but six on one is a bit much, even for me. Sorry I'm not a ninja master like you."
A few swipes with a wet wash cloth got rid of most of the blood and dirt on her face, revealing the motley of bruises that now decorated her face. "Think they'll come back?" Raph asked,
"Probably," She replied, still refusing to look at him, "They said I hadn't seen the last of them. Apparently they weren't too happy that I beat up two of their guys. Said they wanted to teach me a lesson. Someone should have told them I never was a good student." With a hiss she applied a butterfly bandage to a cut above her eyebrow.
Raph's intense amber eyes bored into her and he noticed that it made her shift uncomfortably. For a moment he was reminded of how he felt when humans looked at him like he was a bug under a microscope. "Sounds like these bastards are the ones that need some schooling."
"Wait, what?" By the time his words registered and she turned around all that was left of his presence was taillights.
New York's streets were almost empty at this time of night and Raph made it to his target in record time. The Pit was a notorious gang bar. If anyone knew about Natalie's attack they would be here; no doubt one of them was bragging about beating up an unarmed girl. Hidden in the shadows next to the dumpster he waited for one of the patrons to step out for a smoke. Each minute that ticked by eroded his patience further and he had to remind himself why he was there. Over the past seven weeks there is no doubt that Natalie had grown closer to his whole family. Even Leo had grown to trust her once he heard her story. He thought of the hours they had spent bonding over motorcycles and swapping outrageous tales. He was here to protect her, his little sister. Sister. It hadn't occurred to him until now but it seemed fitting. The sound of the metal door creaking alerted him to the fact that he was no longer alone.
The drunkard had barely put on foot into the alley before Raph had him pressed against the wall snarling in the the man's face. "I-I know you." The man stuttered, "You're one of them karate frog dudes who beat up criminals."
"Ninja turtle," Raphael spat, "I know you too," his nose shriveled in disgust as the man soiled himself in fear. "An hour ago a young woman was assaulted outside McDonough's. Six weeks ago you and another prick tried to mug her."
"Yeah I remember. The bitch had it coming for stabbing me in the thigh. We had to teach her not to mess with the Brims."
Raph felt his famous temper rise and before he knew what has happening Nat's mugger was on the ground, hands over his face. "Let's get this straight. You tell all of your friends that that girl is off limits. No one hurts her, no one even bothers her. If I found out that the Brims or any other gang in this city, don't comply I will personally track down everyone of you and break every bone in every one of your pathetic bodies." For added effect he twisted Mohawk's wrist until the bones snapped under his hand. "That's two. Know how many bones there are in the human body?" Speechless with fear Mohawk shook his head, "Two hundred and six. You still have two hundred and four intact. Leave her alone and it stays that way. Now get out of my sight, and spread the word." Raph threw the man out into the street, confident that he had gotten his message across and headed home.
To his surprise Natalie was still up, sitting on her bucket with a glass of whiskey. "What are you still doing up?" He asked.
"I was worried," The way she said it sounded like it was a surprise to her, "You left so suddenly I was worried I had done something wrong."
Her almost childlike tone tugged at his heartstrings and he found himself kneeling down in front of her, "No. I was just making sure that no lowlife in this city ever bothered you again."
Out of nowhere Natalie burst into tears before quickly suppressing them. "Sorry. It's just, you're the first one that has ever stood up for me. It really, really means a lot."
"Anytime Nat. Anytime."