I did it! I really did it! I never planned to write more than the original oneshot so I was absolutely surprised when so (relatively speaking) many people demanded more. In my head there simply wasn't more to it than what had already been written. I had to think of a story first because there was nothing :-D And it took me long enough... Three months exactly. But in my defense: I'm not an experienced writer and not using my own language didn't make it any easier, so at some points, I just got stuck because I wasn't good enough to continue. But I made it, somehow, finally, so here's the first part of the rest of the story. Hope you'll like it!
Once again: I know, I didn't manage their slang at all, I didn't even try because I know I wouldn't get it right anyways. Guess I should have watched the show in English, but somehow, I never did, no idea why...
Before I forget: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially the Guests; thanks for inspiring me to write more; and thanks to crity2re, you'll see, I worked in your suggestions, no idea what would have happened without them.
And last but not least: If you find mistakes, tell me about them! When I just re-read the first chapter, I found some horrible mistakes myself and no one had told me about them. So please: Do!
The night seemed to last forever. Mal sat on the floor next to Inara's bed, unmoving. He was unable to leave her and at the same time not capable of giving in to his feelings. He itched to touch her face whenever she restlessly turned her head from one side to the other or twitched in pain. But he couldn't. Sitting there, not parting his eyes from her features, was all he could do.
His thoughts kept turning around what had happened, images came up in his head, showing him some dark figure slapping Inara until she fell to the floor and then continuing to kick her. It made him sick but he just couldn't stop it, he had no control over it. The pictures kept tormenting him, no matter what else he tried to think of. They kept showing up before his inner eye and with every passing minute his hate for the guy who had done this grew. More than he ever thought was possible.
Every two hours when he had to wake her, it got harder not to shake her and demand a name. It was near impossible to just gently touch her shoulder, get her attention and ask for her name and whereabouts so he could safely let her sleep again, knowing her head trauma hadn't caused further damage. And every time, her weak answers tore at his heart. After the fourth time he thought he wouldn't be able to stand it again and after the fifth, he was close to calling that damn doctor in order to make him do something. Anything. Although he knew Simon had already done everything in his power. Rational thought abandoned him as always when it came to the woman lying before him only this time she couldn't even get him back onto the ground again as she usually did because she was gorram unconscious!
Luckily, only minutes before he had to wake for the sixth time, she slowly opened her eyes. Since she was still lying curled up on her left side, the first thing her eyes fell on, was Mal, still sitting in front of her bed. It was obvious she needed a few seconds to recognize him. Something she hadn't done whenever he had pulled her half-up from sleep before.
"Mal", she whispered, voice raspy and so unlike usual self. But she seemed to be fully conscious and aware of her surroundings.
He didn't want to go straight for it but he was unable to contain his anger any longer.
"Who?", he asked, louder than he intended to. "Who did this?"
She flinched, her hand shot up to her head and she screwed her eyes shut again. He was shocked to see that he had actually underestimated the amount of pain she was in. Her brain seemed to have taken quite some beating if a slightly heightened voice made her show her suffering so much. Normally, she wasn't someone to ever confess she hurt when at all possible to keep it to herself.
"Inara!" he said, quieter this time. "Who did this?"
She barely reacted to his demanding tone, only shook her head the slightest bit, similar to how she had done the night before when he had first asked her what had happened.
He could feel the anger build up inside him. How could she not tell him?
"Inara!" he called her by her name again. "Look at me!" When she didn't, he instinctively put his hand on her shoulder, gripping it tightly. "Look at me!" he repeated. This time, she opened her eyes and focused on him. He could practically see the pain clouding her vision which only made him even more determined to get the information he wanted. Needed, even.
"'Nara, you have to tell me who did this to you", Mal urged.
"No", she answered him, in a low voice but resolutely.
"Why not?" Mal got impatient. He had thought her reluctance to tell him had been due to the haze she had been in when he had first found her, but now she was seemingly clear and still refused to give him that bastard's name.
"Not my secret to tell", she explained.
"Not your..? What?" He could hardly believe it. "That guy beat the hell out of you and you say his name is not your secret to tell?"
"Guild's rules. Can't give away a client's name." Although the content of her words angered him to no small extent, the weakness of her voice and the fact that she didn't bother using complete sentences made him want to stop arguing and pull her close, waiting for her to get better again even if it took days rather than hours. But it was of no use. He would never allow himself to do that and the guy responsible had to pay, so he had to try and get the name from her. And he had to stay strong, he wouldn't let his feelings show, especially not towards her. He would keep his facade up, no matter what it cost him.
"You can't? What's that supposed to mean? He's dangerous! He hurt you, beat you to a pulp." The longer he talked the more the compassion for her gave way to anger and hatred. He could feel a switch flip inside him and change to his mean side, the jealous one, the resentful one, the one that hated her job and let it show at every opportunity. "He beats you, kicks you, probably causes your ribs to break and you stick to your stupid rules? I somehow get that you keep your", he struggled with the word, "clients secrets, but this?" He heard his own voice get louder again and saw her close her eyes against the additional pain he caused her but he didn't care. Not anymore.
"I will tell the guild about him so no companion will ever accept him as a client again, but I won't give you his name." Her tone was final and didn't allow any further arguing but the sentence seemed to have cost her every bit of what little of her strength had been left and after she had told him one last time, he wouldn't get what he wanted, she turned a few inches away from him, pale as a sheet and trembling from both the pain and the effort to speak.
Mal was unable to cope with what was going on in his mind. His caring for her and the wish for revenge battled for the pole position in his consciousness. He wanted to take her in his arms and break every bone in that man's body at the same time. And while the two feelings struggled for his prime attention, there was a third voice in his head, raging against Inara, her job and all the stupid things that came with it. 'Can't tell you, guild rules'. He was close to viciously shaking his head at the thought of her taking refuge behind that set phrase. Just as he was about to engage one more time in their verbal duel, his mind kept up with what his eyes were seeing.
She obviously was completely exhausted, at the end of her capabilities. His guilty conscience practically screamed at him how he could have argued with her when she was barely able to stay conscious, not to think of having a heated discussion.
Not knowing what to do, how to react, Mal did the only thing he thought couldn't do further harm. He got up, and after a last long look at her still figure, turned to leave the shuttle.
He was planning on getting the doctor. No matter how angry he was at Inara, the pain she was in was obvious and he couldn't just let it go untreated. She hadn't asked for anything to ease the pain, of course not that would have meant admitting to how bad she was feeling, but that wouldn't hinder him helping her. At least a little. In the only way at the moment possible. Plus, he was somehow feeling bad for causing her even more distress. Although it was her own fault. Because honestly, if she would have just told him the name, there wouldn't have been a reason to fight. He didn't know what to feel anymore. He was angry at her for not telling him but at the same time, he wanted to soothe her and do everything in his power to make her feel better. So in the end, he would just make someone else take care of her while he tried to get the name of the man who did this to her.
As soon as the door between her shuttle and the ship opened, Kaylee was upon him. Apparently, the girl had stood there, not daring to enter the shuttle but too worried to just leave, waiting for someone to come and tell her how her friend was.
Mal had always smiled at the two women's relationship. At first sight, they seemed to be exact opposites, one always clad in the most expensive of fabrics and the other usually smeared with motor oil and grease. But when you got to know them and watched them closely, they shared their sense of humour and had the same girlish interests. Although Inara was more like a woman while Kaylee looked up to her, much like a little sister, trying to imitate her perfect sibling.
"Captain!" His engineer stood right in front of him, looking frightened and relieved at the same time. "How is she?" she asked anxiously.
He debated what to tell her. On the one hand side, he didn't want to scare her, on the other he thought it best to keep her out of the room. Inara was weakened enough as it was, especially after that stupid argument, so he thought it best to leave her alone until she had regained some strength. Now that was clear her brain hadn't suffered severe damage, there was no need to constantly wake her anymore.
"She's exhausted", he answered half-truthfully after a moment's hesitation. But before he could tell her to stay out of the shuttle, Kaylee looked at him inquisitively.
"You've been fighting, haven't you?", she accused him, anger in her voice. She had always been too good at reading the feelings between the companion and the captain. Apparently even if she only saw one of them. "You always are! Even now. You insensitive jerk." The insult made him blink. "Your constant quarrelling is bad enough when you are both fine, but now? I'm always astounded at how irresponsible and dumb the man, I followed at a snap of his fingers, can be." Her voice had gotten louder with every word and her eyes were almost sparking with fury.
Mal was taken aback by her sudden outburst. It had been a while since Kaylee had last lost her patience. Usually, she was quite peace-loving and acted accordingly.
"I didn't pick the fight", he defended himself. "I just wanted to know who had done this but she refused to tell me so I asked again. It's not my fault that she clings to her stupid rules more than to her own health." The mild shock at the accusations gave way to anger once again.
"It's her life. You can't blame her for following orders so she doesn't lose most of it."
"And you can't blame me for doing my job. She belongs to the crew and if my crew gets hurt, I have to defend them, even if the damage is already done. I can't have some asshole beat up a woman, especially one inhabiting the Serenity, and go unpunished." Now he was the one raising his voice.
"But it's her decision. If she doesn't give you the name, you have to accept that." Kaylee had crossed her arms and stared up at him.
"That's what you think, is it? You say I should just leave it be?"
"Yes, exactly. I don't like it one bit more than you do, but at least I respect her enough not to question every decision she makes." So much for his plan to ask her for help with hacking into Inara's communication protocols to get the name. Mal was already searching for a backup plan when a sudden idea hit him. It was manipulative and he almost felt bad about it, but in this case the aim justified the means, so he pushed away the voice telling him to be straight with his crew rather than tricking them into doing what he wanted them to.
He huffed and looked back at the door he just came through.
"Well then, guess I don't have a say in the matter anyways. I thought I'd go look for your doctor", he teased her, trying to lighten the mood, "and ask him if he has something for Inara. Do you want to keep her company?"
Kaylee just nodded, ignoring the comment on her non-existing love life and brushed past him.
While walking away he hoped his plan would work. That Kaylee, seeing what had been done to her friend, would change her mind and help get the name so justice could be done.
Justice... If he was honest with himself, it was more like revenge, but he refused to admit that to himself. He wouldn't acknowledge the feelings he had for Inara. Feelings that made it impossible for him to think and act logically when she was concerned.
When he reached the medbay, he was relieved to find the doctor on his own, sorting through his instruments and cleaning the already clinically neat room.
"Captain", the man said, looking up, when Mal entered the room. "How's Inara?"
"Not much different from last night", he responded gruffly. "But more or less awake, so that's something."
"Is she coherent? "
Mal nodded.
"I should check on her", Simon said. "Is she in pain?"
Mal uncomfortably averted his eyes. "I think so."
The doctor looked at him inquiringly. "You two had a fight", he stated bluntly.
What? Mal lifted his eyes again. How did everybody just know about it?
"You always fight", was Simon's answer to the unspoken question. "Alright then, I will see if I can give her something. But I think you should stay away from her for now. She needs rest, not arguing!" The words were so firm, they resembled a command and Mal opened his mouth to protest at orders given to him on his own ship, but the doctor had already moved past him. Leaving the captain behind with nothing to do but in exasperation throw his hands in the air.
After a second of confused frustration, Mal started going after the younger man. He wouldn't let himself be told what to do. Especially not when on his ship and concerning his Inara!
The doctor just ignored Mal's presence when he caught up and kept going. Reaching the shuttle, he knocked on the door but carefully entered without waiting for a response. Mal could see him falter slightly in his steps when he caught sight of Kaylee. The mechanic was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to the bed, pretty much the same as Mal had. But she held Inara's hand in hers, talking to the woman in a low voice although the companion seemed to be almost unconscious. When she heard the men enter, Kaylee lifted her head and looked at them. Simon moved closer while Mal didn't know where to put his eyes. He couldn't bear looking at Inara who was lying on her side so she could see Kaylee. But he couldn't resist watching her either. It was enough to drive him mad, all this indecision! He never knew what to think, to feel or to do around her and so he always seemed to decide on the worst possibility.
Frustrated and not wanting to cause any further damage, he turned on the spot and silently left the shuttle again.
He had barely set foot in the hallway when he heard quick, light steps behind him. Kaylee. When he turned and saw the mixture of anger, hatred and concern in her features, he knew, his plan had worked. At least something.
"I'll hack her communications, give you the name and you get that bastard", the small woman stated, not allowing any contradiction.
Mal looked down at her, nodded grimly and turned back again without any further answer. He had Kaylee where he had wanted her. Outraged at how her best friend had been treated and in for revenge, no matter the cost and no matter that getting it meant a huge breach of trust.
He heard Kaylee getting back into the shuttle, probably heading directly for the consoles to get to work. He, on the other hand, walked along the metal floor towards the mess. He intended to speak to the rest of the crew, explaining what had happened and what he intended to do about it.
Three hours later, Kaylee was at her wit's end. Mal could see from her posture that she was close to giving up but her determination forbade it. He had entered the shuttle to see if she had found out anything and to check on Inara. Although he knew the latter was up to the doctor and therefore denied it was a reason for why he came back here in the first place.
After a deliberately short glance at the still sleeping – he refused to consider unconscious – companion, he turned towards his mechanic who sat with her back turned at him in front of the shuttle's consoles.
"Found something?" he asked and made her jump.
"Captain!" she said while turning towards him. "Don't you ever knock?"
The only answer she got was a dismissive gesture of his hand. "So?"
She let her head hang. "I don't know. Maybe. But not really. It's ... Ugh. I don't know!" Her voice betrayed her frustration even more than her body language.
"How can you not know if you found something?" Mal inquired.
"Well, I checked her communications and her schedule and found her last client", she explained.
"So where's the problem?" he interrupted her, too impatient to wait for her to continue.
She gave him an annoyed look. "The file is clean. I got a name and the personal data, everything the Alliance keeps track of, but it just doesn't add up."
Mal tilted is head questioningly.
"It's practically empty, there's nothing in there. No offense against any law in any way ever." While speaking she raised her voice in frustration. "I checked the file over and over again but couldn't find a thing. I even got through to the source code and somehow... I don't know", she repeated. "It feels wrong. But I can't put my finger on it!" With that, she angrily turned back to the monitors behind her and stared at the writings on it. Mal moved closer to look over her shoulder but found he couldn't make any sense of the cryptic signs.
After a few more seconds, Kaylee abruptly got up. "I'll ask River!" she said and marched off before Mal could say another word.
Looking after her, his eye got caught by the still figure on the bed again. Inara lay there, unmoving, her eyes closed and her face showing the pain she was still in, despite the medication the doctor had given her.
He couldn't help it, he was drawn over to her and soon found himself kneeling before her once again. He wanted to touch her still face, ease out the creases on her forehead and tuck the loose strand of her hair back behind her ear.
His hand was stretched out halfway towards her head before he caught himself and drew it back. In the same motion he got up again and turned away from her. He couldn't let himself do what he wanted to. Not in this matter. She had shown him over and over again that there was no way for the two of them to share anything but the spaceship they were living on and he wouldn't take advantage of her weakened state to allow his feelings to show in ways she didn't want.
So, that's it for now. If you find a spare second, I'd love a review, thanks :-)