"A princess. In a tower. Guarded by a dragon. I can't even begin to explain how basic that is." Dark Pit snarled as he took a bite of cereal.
"It is a classic." Shulk mused.
They were back in the dorm creating a plan to save Lucina. Well, Dark Pit and Shulk at least. Marth was watching TV and eating donuts to pass the time.
"It's to classic!" Dark Pit snarled. "Where did she even get a dragon anyways?"
"I have an answer to that." Marth said as he rewinded his show to show a commercial. He pressed play and the TV began to move.
"HEY THERE FOLKS!" The TV boomed. "DO YOU WANT TO BE AN EVIL MASTERMIND? ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FRIEND? WELL HERE AT DRAGONS R US, WE HAVE DRAGONS TO SPARE! POWERFUL DRAGONS, WEAK DRAGONS, FIRE DRAGONS WE HAVE EM ALL! BUY TWO AND GET ONE FREE! CALL 1800-DRAGONS TODAY!"
"So now they sell dragons on the internet?" Dark Pit snarled as he dumped out his cereal.
"I guess." Shulk said as he whipped out a laptop and began to look up Dragons R Us.
"What are you doing?" Marth asked.
"Hacking into the website." Shulk said as he continued to type. "If I can find out what Dragon Peach ordered I can pin point its strengths and weaknesses, and fighting it should be a piece of cake!" Shulk froze up the second he stopped speaking.
The room was silent for a while.
"I was right." Dark Pit said therefore breaking the silence. "You really are a genius."
"No I'm…" Shulk froze. Am I really going to try and hide it now? It's obvious to everyone now, so maybe I should just tell the truth. "You caught me." Shulk lowered his head.
"So it wasn't luck?" Marth asked. "I knew it. But…why did you try to hide it?"
"I-I was bullied for it when I was younger." Shulk admitted. "Three kids got jealous of me and started making fun of me for it. I just…didn't want it to happen again."
"What made you think that it would happen again?" Dark Pit hissed. "If I took it upon myself to bully every loser here, I wouldn't have any free time! You are less of a loser now that you're showing your true colors."
"Agreed." Marth said. "We all have our talents. If you don't show them, the world is missing out on a lot. And who cares if people hate you because of it? They're only jealous that they can't put yourself out there like you do."
"You…you mean it?" Shulk asked.
"Of course we do." Dark Pit winked. "I don't say sappy stuff unless I mean it. Now come on. Let's go kick some dragon ass!"
"But… we don't have a plan." Shulk stammered.
"Who cares?" Marth cried. "No hero ever has a plan! Now, do you want to the save the woman you love?"
"And don't try to deny that you love her either." Dark Pit said. "You can't hide the truth from me."
"Alright then." Shulk said as he picked up his sword. "Let's get going."
Some time passed as they made their way to the ceaseless tower. Soon however, they arrived to a wooden door with a black handle. As Shulk grabbed the handle, he heard someone laugh.
"You were actually serious!" Peach laughed. "Well, I won't let you- AUGGGH!" she screamed as Marth lunged at her.
"GO!" Marth yelled. "I'll hold her off!"
"How cute!" Peach said as she blocked Marth's blade with her parasol.
Shulk and Dark Pit ran up several steps as some time passed.
"Where's the rest area again?" Dark Pit panted.
"Up here." Shulk said as he collapsed onto the ground.
Suddenly there was a roar. The two looked up to see a bright pink dragon with red hears on her wings. She breathed white fire into the air.
"COME ON!" Dark Pit yelled. "Can't we have a break? I'm exhausted! And why is this dragon so…girly! You think Peach would have something epic or though, but NO!"
The dragon roared one more time as it opened up its wings.
"Wait a second…" Shulk said. "I have an idea."
"How's that going to help?" Dark Pit yelled as he dodged some fire.
"This might come as a shock, but I know what kind of dragon it is." Shulk yelled. "I looked up really girly dragons last night, just you know in case. It's a Pinkus Sparklis, one of the most common types. It has a life span of-"
"JUST SKIP TO THE WEAKNESSES!" Dark Pit yelled as he dodged some more fire.
Shulk ran to the vending medicine and put in a dollar bill. "DISTRACT IT!" he yelled. "I HAVE A PLAN!"
"Oh great." Dark Pit muttered as he fired an arrow at the dragon. "Well, I'll leave it to you."
Shulk grabbed a Diet Pepsi out and opened it. The second the dragon smelled it, it began to choke. At that moment he grabbed out a sword and stabbed it in the neck. The dragon screamed as bright blue blood oozed out of its neck.
"Main weakness." Shulk said proudly. "Allergic to the scent of any kind of soda. Now come on. Let's-"
"No way." Dark Pit said as he sat down on the couch.
"Wha-why?" Shulk asked clearly confused.
"Because." Dark Pit said. "If I'm there you won't confess to Lucina. And you need to. You to…you two would make a…a"
"A what?" Shulk asked as Dark Pit's phone beeped.
"A cute couple!" Dark Pit snapped as opened his phone. "Ouch. That was hard to admit. Huh. So Ganondorf and Bowser attacked everyone at the ball with water guns, therefore ruining it for everyone. How childish and stupid. How do those two even call themselves villains? Anyways, go!"
"Alright!" Shulk said as he ran up the stairs. It took a while, but eventually he got to the top. A huge brown door with a lock filled his vison. Right next to the door was a golden key on a table, and on the left was an elevator.
There was an elevator this entire time! Shulk thought angrily as he grabbed the key and put it in the lock. Dammit! Anyways here I go.
Shulk turned the key and opened the door to see a cobblestone room with a red carpet. A single window showed the storm brewing outside, and a bed lay next to some bookshelves. A lot of clothes were tied together to make a rope.
Lucina was sleeping on the bed. There were no covers on her, and a single pillow wasn't present. Shulk walked over to her and put his hand on her cheek.
"Wake up." He said as her eyes began to flicker. "It's time to go."
Lucina's eyes flashed open as she sat up. "S-Shulk?" She asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Saving you." Shulk smiled as he scoped her off the bed. "If that wasn't obvious enough."
"S-Shulk." Lucina cried as he cradled her in his arms. "Thank you. I still can't believe you came for me!"
"Of course I did." Shulk said. "I-I I love you."
"Shulk…" Lucina started.
"Listen I know I'm not a prince." Shulk said. "Or a knight in shining armor. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing here, I mean you clearly don't love me-"He stopped when Lucina kissed him.
"I don't want a knight in shining armor." Lucina said as she pulled back. "I want you. Sorry if I wasn't brave enough to tell you before, but I love you as well."
"Lucina." Shulk said as his voice started to shake. Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? If I am, please don't let anyone pinch me. I don't want to wake up. He leaned down and kissed her for a while.
And for a moment everything was perfect.
Later the two took the elevator downstairs. Dark Pit and Marth where waiting. They all talked for a while, before all leaving to get something to eat. Peach wasn't present, heck who knows what happened to her. But let's save Peach's fate for another day. And in the end they all lived…
"Hey narrator person!" Dark Pit yelled. "Do not end it on that cheesy line! If you do, I will kill you, no joke!"
Sorry Dark Pit. I didn't mean to offend you. Anyways, what happened next is a story for another day.
Stuff you in this fic you might not have caught-
Shulk's VA Adam Howden is actually British. I did not mean to offend anyone from England in any way. I just wanted to have fun with his accent.
Oykot (The main city) is Tokyo spelled backwards.
Kyubey appeared as a reference to one of my Madoka Magica fics Contracts.
Shulk's Seiyuu voices characters in the animes Dark Pit mentioned.
The quote Piece of Cake is actually used in Xenoblade.