Author's Note: Watch out: this chapter has some non-explicit fully clothed sexy times. Not exactly smut, but ... sexy times. Oh, and I'm too lazy to look up what time Dan's train was actually scheduled to leave Manchester on October 21. For the purposes of this fic, I'm saying sometime in the late afternoon. It's fiction, ya know?
Sofa to Manchester Piccadilly
Dan's train home isn't until Sunday afternoon, so they decided to spend that last morning cuddled on the sofa, marathoning old Buffy episodes, because they've both seen them before and so it doesn't matter if they miss long sections of plot when they start making out.
Which happens frequently.
Phil lies on the couch with Dan lying on top of him, a blanket pulled over them for warmth … though they're doing a pretty good job of generating their own warmth whenever Dan initiates another bout of kissing.
"I don't want you to leave," Phil says softly while Buffy and her pals are battling some Native American ghosts over Thanksgiving dinner on the television screen. His arms are around Dan, but he's making sure not to hold him too tightly, like Dan is made of something delicate and breakable. This whole weekend, he's been careful to let Dan set the pace of things between them, not wanting to spook him, not wanting to push him into anything he isn't ready for.
And it seems that what Dan is ready for is lots and lots of kissing.
They played some video games yesterday and watched a movie, though Phil can't remember what it was, because he'd been far more aware of the boy curled up against him than anything happening on the television. They filmed a Q&A video for Phil's YouTube channel, and that was fun. They ordered pizza—Phil remembers that there was pizza. But mostly he remembers the kissing. To be honest, they probably spent the majority of yesterday kissing. By dinner time, he'd noticed that the skin around Dan's mouth was slightly red, and he'd gone to have a second shave of the day just to try to make sure that he didn't send Dan home to his parents with obvious evidence of what had been going on while their baby boy was away visiting the mysterious creeper from the Internet.
Dan raises his head from where it has been resting on Phil's chest and meets Phil's eyes. He looks sad. "I don't want to leave, either. I wish we could stay here like this forever." He shifts a little, scooting up so he can reach Phil's lips, and kisses him slowly, as if he is savoring this so he'll be able to remember it while they're apart. At least, that's what Phil imagines he's doing, because that's how he feels himself.
When they'd planned this visit, both of them excited to finally meet in the real world, their Skype calls had mostly consisted of innocuous chatting interspersed with suggestive flirting. He'd felt close to Dan, felt excited and nervous to meet him, hoping Dan would like him, but … Phil hadn't expected to feel this intense connection. They're already making plans for when they can see each other again, and it's only a couple weeks away at the YouTube Halloween gathering in London, but right now a couple weeks apart feels interminable.
"We can Skype every day," he says, trying to sound less mournful than he feels.
"And I can come to visit again in a few weeks," Dan isn't as good at hiding his sadness. "If my parents let me." Then he adds darkly, "They'd better let me. Or I'll sneak out when they aren't looking. I will come back in a few weeks."
The words just remind Phil how young Dan is, just barely 18, still accustomed to his parents controlling what he does and rebellious against their potential interference. Phil hugs him a little tighter, and Dan kisses him again, his mouth warm and welcoming. The kiss escalates pretty quickly and soon Dan is twisting to get into a better position on top of Phil, their legs tangling together, hips lining up in a way that makes Phil bite his lip in anticipation.
While Dan has been reticent about taking things much further than just kissing, he doesn't seem to have much of a problem with rubbing himself against Phil like a cat in heat when they're making out. It's deliciously frustrating. Enough to get Phil so worked up he can barely see straight, but not enough to actually get him off. Tonight, after Dan leaves, he'll probably wank himself raw just remembering how it felt. He likes to think Dan will be doing the same in Wokingham.
Maybe they could Skype while they do it.
No, that's probably too much right now. But … maybe eventually. Cybersex isn't as good as the real thing, but it can still be fun. And he thinks Dan would probably like it, given what a flirty little shit he is on camera.
But right now, he has Dan actually pressed on top of him, kissing him, thrusting his hips in minute movements as if unaware he's already doing it. Phil tries to stop thinking about the fact that Dan is leaving in just a couple hours, stop thinking about how he'll get through the time apart, and just focus on how real and here Dan is right this very moment. He can angst about the separation once Dan is gone—right now Dan is here and Phil wants to focus on him with all his senses, store up as much information as possible for after he's left.
Dan pulls his mouth away to mutter against Phil's lips, "Jesus, Phil. You get me so turned on." He presses his hips down more firmly and Phil can feel how hard he is already. He twines a hand into Dan's hair and pulls him down into a passionate kiss. He's been trying not to do this—not take control, trying to always let Dan choose how far they go and how fast—but Dan's words tighten every muscle in his body and make his control slip a little, just for a minute.
He gasps and releases Dan's hair, slowing the kiss back to something more languid, but Dan pulls away to whisper, "Don't stop. I liked it." So Phil winds his fingers back into Dan's hair, and Dan groans, "Yes," against his lips before intensifying their kiss. He's writhing against Phil with more purpose now, his uncoordinated grinding turning into proper thrusts that set off sparks all the way to Phil's fingertips. His hold on Dan's hair tightens a bit and he arches his back off the couch to get closer. Dan is basically fucking his mouth with his tongue now, just slick and smooth and fast and god!
Dan's thrusts speed up, his hips grinding hard and rhythmic against Phil's, and it feels incredible. Phil is desperate to slide his hands down to grasp Dan's ass, but neither of them has let their hands wander below the waist yet and he doesn't want to do anything to startle Dan into pulling away, doesn't want this to stop. He lets Dan set the pace, and that pace seems to be speeding up.
Suddenly, Dan pulls his lips away, panting, and presses his face into the side of Phil's neck. "Oh god," he gasps, almost directly into Phil's ear, and Phil can feel Dan's breath hot against his skin. "Jesus. Oh god. Oh fuck!" And then Dan throws his head back with a loud groan, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He thrusts hard a few more times, gradually slowing down, and then goes completely limp, basically just collapsing on top of Phil, his face hidden again in Phil's neck.
Phil doesn't want to embarrass Dan, so he doesn't comment on the fact that Dan has obviously just come in his pants while they were dry humping. He just lies there and enjoys the relaxed weight of Dan on top of him. And wills his own insistent, throbbing, inconveniently persistent erection to subside.
After a long silence in which they both lie completely still and silent, Dan mumbles, "Okay. So that was the most embarrassing thing ever."
Phil lets his hands caress Dan's back slowly, gently, and says, "It wasn't embarrassing. It was hot."
Dan raises his head to meet Phil's gaze with the most adorably hesitant expression Phil has seen yet. "Yeah?" he asks, sounding like he doesn't believe it.
Phil kneads the muscles of Dan's back gently, still restraining himself from reaching down to that amazing ass, and assures him, "You've given me wank material for at least the next couple years."
Dan blushes, laughing, and ducks his head into Phil's neck again. Then he says in his scared little boy voice, "But you haven't…"
Phil hurries to reassure him. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine, Dan. I got to make you come, got to watch you. That was basically the best thing ever."
Dan presses his face harder into Phil's neck, hiding his expression. Then suddenly he giggles.
"What's so funny?" Phil asks.
"I don't have any more clean underwear with me," Dan explains. "I'm going to have to sit for hours on the train in these boxers." He laughs.
Phil shrugs. "Just borrow some of mine."
Dan raises his head to look at Phil again. "Really?"
"Why not?" Then Phil smiles devilishly. "I kind of like the idea of my underwear touching parts of you I haven't gotten to yet."
Dan giggles again and grins at him. "You are so weird."
Phil grins back. "You love it."
Standing on the platform at Manchester Piccadilly, Phil feels like his heart is being torn from his chest. Dan is staring up at him with sad puppy dog eyes, looking like he might actually cry.
"I really want to kiss you," Dan whispers.
Phil looks around at the crowded train station. "Probably not a good idea," he whispers back.
Dan looks down at his shoes and says, "I know."
Phil pulls him into his arms and hugs him tight, Dan's arms immediately wrapping around him to clutch his t-shirt as if he never wants to let go. If he feels anything like Phil does, then he doesn't want to let go. If only they could just go back to the sofa and cuddle under the blanket forever and pretend like the rest of the world doesn't exist.
But Dan's parents are expecting him back tonight, and Phil's parents will be getting home from their trip. And … the real world is horrible but unavoidable.
"Halloween in London," Phil says, trying to sound upbeat for Dan's sake. He doesn't think he succeeds very well. "It's not that far away."
They pull apart and Dan is gazing up at him again. An announcement comes over the intercom. Dan's train is going to be leaving in a few minutes, so he really needs to board.
"Fuck it," Phil says in frustration, and he leans down and gives Dan a quick but thorough kiss. The smile that beams up at him when he pulls away makes the public display worth it.
"Skype tonight?" Dan asks plaintively, and Phil nods.
"Of course. It doesn't matter how late—I'll wait up." He pauses, then smirks. "And I'll be thinking about you wearing my boxers the whole way home," he quips to make Dan smile again. The boy laughs, and Phil picks up his duffel bag, handing it to him. "You'd better get on the train before it leaves without you."
"Would that be so bad?" Dan whines.
"Yeah. Your parents might never let you come visit again," Phil points out, trying to be the strong one for both of them.
Dan rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Okay." His bottom lip is sticking out in the cutest pout Phil has ever seen. "Can I kiss you one more time?"
Phil doesn't even hesitate this time before pulling him into his arms. Their lips meet, and it's sweet and melancholy at the same time. Phil holds him close and just tries to memorize everything about him, how he feels and smells and looks and sounds. When they pull apart, Dan turns quickly and boards his train. He sits near a window and looks out at Phil, and Phil can't tell from here but it looks like he might be crying.
Phil raises a hand in farewell as the train starts to move. Dan boarded just in time. Dan presses a hand to the window … and then Phil watches the train slowly leave the station, taking his Dan with it. Phil drops his hand to his side and just stares morosely at the ground for a minute.
He walks slowly to the bus stop, remembering flashes of moments from the weekend. Just … Dan's wide eyes at the Sky Bar, holding hands for the first time in his bedroom, the hesitant feel of Dan's lips that first time in his bed, the warmth of him under the blanket on the sofa, his laughter when they were filming the Q&A video.
That will be fun to edit. And it will be something Phil can watch when he needs a Dan fix between now and Halloween.
When the bus comes to take him home, he finds a seat and settles in, taking out his phone and composing a tweet so that Dan will see it and they won't feel so far apart. Then he puts his phone back in his pocket and begins counting down the days to Halloween.
Only a couple weeks, he tells himself. But it feels like forever.