Hi guys! I extended this chapter hope you like!

Warning: Drug references and sexual activity (not to sexual...Yet!)

Chapter 4

She felt the salty tears running down her cheeks as she reminiscence about her first love. 'shit!' If only he was still here now. She felt a pain in her chest as her heart was breaking once more. Telling herself she did not want to feel this way again. She had never felt love as much as she did with Michael. Not even with Jesse!

Jesse was, if she was true to herself, he was just there at the right moment. He had to be in her face to get her attention, mucking about with old record covers to make her laugh, let's face it, it took a LOT to make her smile. But in the end. It paid off. She did not realise how hard they both had to keep their relationship going as both were busy when they reached their final year.

Beca remembered that Michael just knew when she was upset, he did not once push her to tell him what had upset her. All he had to do was play his guitar and she would listen to him then out of nowhere she would find herself telling him everything that was upsetting her… Ended up telling about Casey and her parents plus how she was struggling with school and did not know what direction she was heading in after she finished school. Michael saw her through her lowest times and he would pull her out of it with either singing a song that he knew she loved or by just being there as her shoulder to cry on.

There was that one time however, that they had a huge argument and he saw her at her worst point.

The time she lost herself…

One day Beca had enough with everything that's going on with her life at the moment, her parents had divorced, she fought with Casey, her school work was starting to stuffer, yet again and the arguments with her mum just got worse.

The next day at school she sported a bruised on her cheek, which was given to her by her mum about the fight with Casey.

Truthfully it was not first time her mother had given her a bruise since her father left the family home and there was that one time, when her mother got so drunk and angry with her she used her belt on her back, lucky if you can call it that! None of the hits broke the skin.

She was just tired of all the drama, of all the covering up for people that hurt her to hide her own pain, who would notice anyway? No one would stop her and ask if she was okay they would just assume that she got it in the fight.

Beca was in her own world until hearing her name brought her out of her daze. "Hey… Beca did you not hear me?"

"Sorry I was in my own world."

"So, I see." Michael look closely at his girlfriend's cheek. "So, who was it this time? Your mother or Casey."

"Fuck you!" Beca retorted back before turning her back on him. He ran up to her and again got in her face and sighed. "Look I'm sorry, okay! What's wrong? Tell me so I can help you!"

"Like you helped that girl by giving her mouth to mouth?" Michael looked at her knowing he made a mistake. He didn't even know why he kissed another girl…Well deep down he did and as soon as realise what he had done, he regretted it, knowing he had made a HUGE mistake. But, he did and it was too late and he could not reverse time. The best he can hope for was for Beca to give him the chance to make it up to her.

It also did not help that the kissed happened a few days after they first slept together. "I love you, that kiss…I don't know why I did it? But I will make up to you, I promise."

"Promises are cheap…" Beca again began to walk off but Michael grabbed her arm. "Michael let go…"

"Beca what can I do to make it up to you?" Beca let out a smile laugh as she stopped struggling in his grip. "You can leave me alone. After what I told you about my father. You go and do the exact same thing!"

"I am not your father Beca, it was only a kiss a stupid kiss."

"A pointless kiss is all it takes to destroy a heart and cause a tsunami of tears."

"Beca…"

"NO!" Beca teared her arm out of his grip. "I love you! I gave away my heart, my soul, my very being…." She quietens her voice to a whisper "…My virginity to you! And you go and take the piss, risking what we had…all for a stupid kiss? That what? Meant absolutely nothing!?" Beca turned her back and walked off shouting a "Hope it was worth it" over her shoulder.

Michael could do nothing but just stand on the spot and watch his love of his life walk away.

Beca was outside having a sneaky cigarette when Nathan made her jump.

"Jesus Christ…"

"Sorry…" Nathan apologised. "What's up? Buttercup!" Beca could not help and gave Nathan a smile. She was worried at first that Nathan would hate her or be jealous of her and Michael's relationship.

She nothing to worry about, as Nathan turned out to be a great friend to her and gave some good advice. "Whatever he's done… He is sorry."

"Yeah… Until next time." Nathan saw the look at her face and saw how hurt she was. "He has done stupid things but you have always made up."

"Not this time…" Nathan face had nothing but sympathy towards her. "What's the lad done, now?"

Beca took a moment as she inhaled the nicotine of her cigarette before exhaling it out. The tears came rolled down, this time she did not try to stop them. "He kissed another girl…" Nathan let her continued. "…Days after…"

"You wild things…It's about time!" Nathan said before he could stop himself. "Sorry… Please continue…" Beca lightly smacked him. "You're such an arse…"

"But I'm a funny arse…" He smiled at her, a smile that she returned.

There was a brief look that they shared, before the bell rang. "We best go…" Nathan said as he blushed, knowing if the bell did not ring when it did he would have kissed her.

And the low mood Beca was in, she would have kissed him back. "You go ahead! I'm going to take the rest of the day off."

"Beca?" Nathan called out to her worried. "Don't worry about me. I be fine, I see you tomorrow." She smiled and walked off.

"Dude!" Nathan called out to Michael and smacked the back of his head, as soon as he saw him. "You do realising what you're losing? The best thing that has ever happened to you! And for what?" Michael sighed. "You know the reason why."

"It a stupid reason! You're stupid!"

"I know…" Michael brushed his hair with his hand and sighed. Looking at the lost look on his friend's face Nathan sighed. "Just tell her the truth…"

"You know as well as I do about her problems…I don't know how to tell her and I don't want to put more stress on her shoulders."

"So, you think cheating on her is the answer? Did you see how hurt she was? She skived the rest of the day." Nathan almost shouted. "I know…" Michael sighed, opening his hand that he bushed his hair with and saw the clumps of hair. Nathan soften when his eyes dropped to his friend's hand. "I LOVE HER so MUCH, picturing a future with her and close to giving my heart to! How can I tell her…"? He stopped as he felt himself welling up.

"…I'm dying?"

Beca remembered that day very well, apart from what happened six months ago. THAT day was the day she let her emotions get the better of her and she nearly ended up killing herself…

On that day, when she skived the rest of the day of school she ended walking into a local hang out that she knew was a place for other kids that played truant from school or college. Everything was available and out in the open as because how some of the kids were down right bastards and unruly, people that saw them did not want the hassle and let them carry on.

Apart from the odd sneaky cigarette she had never tried drugs and alcohol, the alcohol was understandable due to what she had witness the effect it has on her mother. But, that moment she didn't care and she wanted to for one day forget that her life at the moment sucked. At this precise moment, she wanted to lose herself with anything that was on offer she did not care and one guy had already set his eye on her.

Beer in one hand and a joint in the other, he staggered up to her and show her a smile that would normally creep her out.

"You look lost…" Beca at first considered to turn around and walk back to school, she heard rumours about the kind of teenagers that hang around this place and as she looked around she knew that there was some truth about the rumours. "No…I found what I am looking for…" Beca cast her eyes downwards, the guy smiled grew even wider thinking he was in for an easy lay. Instead Beca pointed at the beer and the joint. "I…ah… Meant the booze and drugs." Not showing his pride was wounded he handed her both the beer and joint to her. "You seem that you not the type that does this often."

"Well looks can be deceiving…I'm not as innocent as I look." Taking a massive swig from the bottle to prove it but it was when she coughed up her lungs as she tried the joint. "Ahhh…Virgin lungs…Maybe you should stick with the alcohol." He attempted to take his joint back, but Beca held it back. "I'm okay… I'm sure I get used to it!" She took another puff and this time through the guidance of the guy she managed to take in the drug and feel the high and her head felt light. "If you interested, there's more on offer…" It was the temptation and distraction that Beca needed. "…But like a decent champagne it comes with a price."

"I have money…"

"Good… Follow me and introduce to some of the guys." Beca followed the guy not aware of the danger she had put herself in.

Michael was worried about Beca, he knew that Beca can be self-destructive but normally she could calm herself down by experimenting with music when she was doing her mixes. But this time however he was truly worried about her and he needed to apologised, needed to beg for forgiveness and needed to tell her the truth. He needed to find her and quick.

When school had finished Michael along with Nathan headed to his car. "Where would she go?"

"Hasn't she got a favourite place? Like music cafés?" Nathan answered.

"Well she said she wanted to be left alone…So maybe we should try places that she wouldn't be seen dead in, first?"

"Well… We can try that place were all the stoners go? I know the way." Nathan said to enthusiastically. "Why am I not surprised?" Michael gave a smile.

Meanwhile Beca was letting herself go drinking and smoking god knows what! With the encouragement of her 'new-found friends.' She danced with quite a few guys whenever she hears one of her favourite songs, a lot of hip bumping involved.

"How about we take this party a bit more private?" The guy she first met came on to her. "I'm okay here."

"I wasn't asking." He demanded. "Well, what you said was a question so I answered." Beca broke in hysterics. "Dude, she's fucked…It's not like she can fight back." The man agreed and just grabbed her hand taking her with him as they walk away from the group…

"I hope she's okay…Damn it! I'm such an idiot!" Michael shouted. "Don't worry we find her and both of you will sit down and talk. This whole situation will blow over and the both of you will be loved up again."

"Maybe… Until I tell her that I'm dying." There was quiet between the two childhood friends, but Nathan broke it. "Let's fine your girl…"

… "I want to go back to the party…" Beca bitched as she pointed back to where they just left. "I told you, we're having a party of our own." He forced himself to kiss her and in her state at first it shocked her but with all the alcohol and drugs in her system she gave in and let him take her with a kiss…

Both Michael and Nathan arrived at the popular hangout. "Really?" He sighed as he looked at the name, it was actually called 'the hang out'. "I didn't say it was a perfect place." Nathan argued. "Whatever, let's find Beca."

"I'm right behind you and if a fight breaks out…" Nathan tried to lighten the tension as he looked at the build of some of the guys. "...I'm WAY behind you…" As they begin to ask around.

…Beca was kissing the unknown guy with as much lust as he has and knew that it could end up with them having sex, even though she broke up with Michael and this was more likely just sex with 'no strings' attach she couldn't help but still feel guilty about what she was about to do. Moaning into the kiss as the guy pressed his thumb over her nipple and then with the same hand cupped her breast, roughly squeezing it as his free hand, heading more downwards where he was interested the most…

"There's no sign of her! Nobody has seen her." A worried Michael was panicking as he was looking everywhere and asking everyone. "We keep on looking, there's a back room."

…The guy at first rubbed Beca's hotspot outside her jeans before he unzipped her jeans and pushing the offending garment to one side, feeling the wetness dripping down and making it easy for him to enter her, he inserted a finger inside, she squirmed at first. But after a while, she adjusted and spread her legs wider for him to enter her and added one more finger in her. Her hands wondered downwards to his body, managing to cup his tool and could feel the hardness trying to arise, she began to unzip his jeans…

"Wow…It sounds like someone is having fun…" Nathan remarked as he heard the moans coming from the back room. He turned to see Michael going red. "…Wait Beca? No…"

"I know it's her…" Seeing Nathan about to say something, Michael stopped him with a look. "Now's not the time." Seeing the anger on Michael's face and about to turn around, when Nathan stopped him. "You can't just walk out now."

"Hear that? She has already moved on."

"She's upset, she's not thinking straight..." Nathan explained. "You would know?" Michael challenged as he saw Nathan's guilty look. "How would you know?"

"We nearly had a moment…"

"WHAT!?" Michael shouted. "Look, I explain later but go get you girl!" Nathan sighed with relief and followed Michael in…

…It was then Michael saw the couple going at it, straight away he knew it was Beca. "Here I was worried about you, thinking how upset I made you, how guilty I feel and am begging you for a second chance. But now I can see how quickly you can move on." Michael had so much anger that he could not move.

Before Beca could talk, the man spoke. "Can't you see, she's busy? Go find a slut of your own or you can wait until I've finished with her."

Without even thinking. Michael threw a punch, making the stranger take a few steps back. Seeing his zipper half way down; "Don't EVER speak about her like that!" The man regains his balance quickly and now was heading to return a punch of his own.

Instead of hitting his target, the guy was knockout. Michael looked at Nathan and thanked him. "Thought you will be back in the car if things get out of hand." Nathan was going to say anything but he looked at Beca and nodded to Michael. "I wait for you in the car." Michael threw Nathan the car keys. "Nathan, we talk later about earlier." Nathan just nodded his head and left them to it. Michael looked down on the ground where the guy was and then at Beca.

After Beca recovered from her shock and sorted herself out, she faced Michael and went up to him and shoved him back. "How DARE you!? What the HELL IS YOUR PROMBLEM?" She shouted out as she kneels down at the fallen guy.

"My problem is that I love you! And I catch you being finger fucked by a stranger and with your hand nearly inside his pants. I can guess what would have happened if I didn't stop it when I did." Beca stood up and walked passed Michael, she needed more drink and drugs. Michael just stood by and watch her carefully as she grabbed a beer and a joint. "Beca…" Michael did not know what to say as he witnessed Beca self-destruction and he did not know how to stop her. "Leave me alone…You started this…" She downed the beer and put the joint in her mouth, she knew this time she was at fault and the guilt was eating her up. "Beca… let us talk about this, please? I love you and I was a dick you don't need this!" He took the joint out of her mouth before giving it to someone nearby, who took it eagerly.

Michael looked deeply into her eyes he saw how bloodshot they were, how large her pupils were and now she was struggling to stand up straight. "What else have you taken or drank? Did you take any pills?"

"Like you care?"

"Of course, I care! Why do you think I'm here?" Michael stressed as he noticed Beca was losing her colour in her face and now beginning slurring her words or struggling to get some words out. "I'm… I'm…I'm…a bit…a bit…a bit… fucked!"

"BECA!" Michael shouted as he lightly shook her. "Please! Tell me what you had!" Michael begged and screamed worried that he would lost her. "I still love you…I sorry about…about...about" Michael saw the guilt in Beca's eyes he knew that she was torturing herself. "I know! I love you to! We will talk later…Beca…BECA!"

Beca could not remember anything after that, even to this day; she does not want to know. She just remembered waking up in hospital. Her mother, her father, Michael and Nathan was by her bedside. She remembered building up her wall as shame took over and couldn't look at anyone in the eye.

She just wanted to go home.

It was never brought up again and if it did she would stomp out.

However after a good talk both she and Michael were back together again...

Thinking about how she lost Michael she order another drink.

TBC...