Thanks to all those who took the time to review the first few chapters, it's always appreciated and I love to hear what you think! It's also reassuring to see I'm not alone in my dissatisfaction with the series finale!
Now, on with the show…
See Prologue for disclaimer and summary.
Chapter 4
"Coffee, two sugars."
Chakotay's command to the replicator startled Kathryn out of her reverie. She'd been sitting here for a while now, absent-mindedly sipping her own cup of coffee while staring up at the colors of the nebula out the window. Her mind had wandered from recollections, to speculations, to regrets to anticipation and back for more recollections – and Kathryn had let her thoughts range freely. Just for a few moments, she didn't want to feel the weight of her decision on her shoulders. Or think about her suspicion – no, discovery – about Chakotay and Seven. It all made sense now, how he'd been brushing her off when she'd invited him to join her for their usual lunch or dinner together, or how strangely chipper Seven had been recently. When she had seen them walk in together today… It had been a much more painful blow than she would have ever anticipated, but she couldn't deal with this at the moment, she wasn't ready to think about her feelings, or what they meant. For now she had to focus on the task at hand.
Chakotay approached her quietly and she gave him a tired smile when he reached her. "May I join you?"
She patted the seat next to her in reply.
"Enjoying the view?" He sat down next to her, but at a respectful distance, and Kathryn let a derisive smile touch her lips. That short distance had never felt so vast.
"I wish I could say that I am, but the truth is, under the circumstances I can't seem to be able to appreciate its beauty."
"That's understandable, when you know what's hiding inside."
Kathryn nodded, but remained silent.
"Captain," he started uncertainly, "about what you saw earlier, I feel as though I have to explain-"
"Not now, Chakotay," she interrupted. Her voice sounded tired even to her own ears.
"Alright," he acquiesced with a quick intake of breath, but Kathryn knew him well enough to know that he had more to say.
"Something else on your mind, Commander?"
He gave a small smile, the one that Kathryn had always found most attractive. It was a shy little crooked smile, as if it just barely escaped Chakotay's control – Kathryn called it the charmer in her head. It was that smile that had first drawn her to him, that had made her trust him with her life, when she had decided to make him her first officer years ago. It felt like a lifetime ago now.
"Has the Doctor completed the crew's physicals recently? Tuvok's, in particular?" he asked at last.
That was not what Kathryn had expected, and she threw him a curious glance. "Why?"
"I'm worried about him. He seems to be getting forgetful, even confused, sometimes."
"I haven't noticed anything, but I'll talk to him," Kathryn conceded, now concerned for her friend as well. Was there something going on with him that she had missed because her own worries blinded her to anything else?
"Good." He nodded before taking a sip from his coffee, a frown of concentration creating lines on his forehead. "Kathryn, I've been thinking, I think we should try Annika's plan."
Now that was closer to what Kathryn had been expecting from him. She took in a deep breath, readying herself for the argument she knew they were about to have. But he went on before she could raise her objections.
"Hear me out," he said as his hand touched her forearm. "I can't quite shake my original idea – what if we're able to do both? Use the conduit, and destroy the hub once we're through?"
Now intrigued, Kathryn leaned forward, curious to hear more. "How?"
"Tom said Annika controlled her ship using a synaptic transceiver implant, were you aware of that?"
"Yes, the Doctor mentioned that earlier. What about it?"
"Isn't there a way we could use it to our advantage? As a subterfuge to distract the Queen while we make our approach, maybe? Who knows, maybe she could even get close enough to eliminate the conduits' shields."
Hope flared inside her with a bright, warm flame at his words and she leaned closer eagerly.
"You think that's possible?"
"Why not? Annika is here, and she is ready to do everything in her power to get us home, why not accept her help? If she contacted the Queen using her transceiver, maybe she could fool her into thinking she's really Seven, asking to negotiate passage through the nebula."
"That's extremely risky, Chakotay. Especially to Annika. Have you discussed this with her?"
Chakotay shook his head, but a strange look crossed his face, as if he knew something she didn't, and was trying to hide it. "No, but I'm pretty sure she would be ready to risk it, even sacrifice herself if need be."
That seemed extreme for Chakotay, and Kathryn looked at him in surprise. "What makes you say that?"
He hesitated. "Let's just say… she gave me a glimpse of the future. Besides, she could never truly belong here with us – she's from another world, another reality. She knows that. I don't think it was ever her intention to remain on Voyager, even if we decided not to do as she suggested. I don't think she could relive it," he added softly, as if to himself.
Kathryn studied his face for a moment, trying to determine if this knowledge had perhaps come not from Annika, but from his close relationship with Seven. Had he come to know her that well?
"A glimpse of the future…?" She repeated at last. "How?"
"She gave me access to one crewmember's log. Well, mine, actually," he admitted.
Kathryn's eyebrows rose at this.
"You know it was the strangest thing to read through his log," Chakotay went on eagerly, as if he'd been longing to talk to someone about his experience. She felt a strange thrill to know that he'd chosen to tell her. "The man who recorded all of those entries is me, but he's also not. Seven said that she viewed Annika as an entirely different person, and I see her point because our experiences fashion us, shape us, as we go through life… but reading his log was like facing my own, unique, personal take on life, and my own fears and even my own demons. He reacted to events in exactly the same way I know I would, and I'm not sure what to make of this paradox. It's uncanny."
Kathryn allowed a crooked smile to form on her lips as she curled her legs under her and leaned her elbow against the back of the couch to rest her temple against her knuckles. "That's why I hate temporal anomalies. So how was the future?" She asked with genuine curiosity.
Chakotay shook his head, and Kathryn was surprised to see a deep sadness darken his expression. He swallowed visibly. "Grim. Very grim. Whatever happens, I hope we never have to go through what they went through."
"I didn't realize it was so bad."
He cleared his throat. "Which is why I'm willing to trust Annika on this. But I also agree with you that it's our duty to destroy the Hub. I think we should at least try to come up with a plan that would allow us to do both."
"Alright. Let's call in the troops." Kathryn agreed as she set her mug on the table. Then something occurred to her. "What you said about Tuvok's health – did you learn it from…?"
"Yes. I don't know much about what ails him, but according to my alter ego, there's still hope for him if he returns to the Alpha Quadrant soon."
"I see."
"He might be aware of his condition by now, you should ask him about it."
"Thank you, I will."
He seemed to relax a little into his seat, and The Charmer returned to his lips. "You're not mad at me for ignoring the temporal prime directive?" He asked, raising his coffee to his lips.
Kathryn smiled herself. "I probably should be, but the truth is I've been debating with myself about it ever since Annika showed up here. You know how curious I am."
The Charmer got a little wider, into a different kind of smile, a teasing, dimpled one. Oh she liked that one too. "That I do."
"It's pure torture not to be able to satisfy that curiosity."
His smile slowly vanished and he frowned into his cup. "Well, in this case at least, you're probably better off not knowing."
"That's not helping to satisfy my curiosity, but I'll take your word for it."
"Good." He set his cup down onto the table and rose to his feet. "I'll get Annika, Seven and Tuvok working on some scenarios."
"Very well. We'll call in a meeting as soon as they have something. I'd like to have a chat with Tuvok before you speak to him, though."
He gave a brief nod and took a couple of steps toward the door before Kathryn stopped him. "That other thing you were going to tell me about… We should talk about it when this is over."
He nodded, and smiled. "If we're lucky we'll be able to have that conversation over drinks on Pier 39."
San Francisco. Kathryn smiled wistfully at the thought, and couldn't help the brief somersault of longing in her stomach. She resisted the impulse to say 'it's a date,' and merely nodded instead. Because clearly, even if this plan worked, it was too late to think about the possibilities and secret hopes that she had for so long denied her conscious mind.
He had already moved on.
ooooh
"Your concern is appreciated, Captain, but premature," Tuvok reassured as he sat in her ready room. "It will be several years before the symptoms become serious. Until then, the Doctor can manage my condition with medication."
"Is it true that there's a cure in the Alpha Quadrant?" Kathryn asked, still shocked that she had been unaware of this before now. Tuvok had always liked his privacy, but this was too important to keep secret.
Tuvok nodded. "It is called a-fal-tor-vo, and it requires a mind meld with another Vulcan."
"What about the other Vulcans on Voyager?"
"None of them are compatible."
Kathryn sighed as it dawned on her. "But members of your family are."
Tuvok nodded again and Kathryn sat down next to him. "If you knew that returning to the Alpha Quadrant was your only chance for recovery, why didn't you object when I asked you to help find a way to destroy the Hub?"
"My sense of logic isn't impaired yet. If we succeed, millions of lives will be saved."
"What about your life?"
"To quote Ambassador Spock: 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.'"
"Yes. That has been my own philosophy since I made Captain. But sometimes it's tempting to be a little bit more selfish, isn't it?"
"Our survival instinct is a powerful force driving our actions, Captain. Yet I believe there are times when we must do all we can to resist its allure."
"Chakotay has suggested that we might be able to go through the conduit, and destroy the Hub. Do you think that's possible?"
Tuvok considered it. "Perhaps. It would be extremely risky, but with the technological advantages Annika has provided, it might be feasible."
"If the Queen hasn't found out about them yet."
"That is a possibility we should prepare for."
Janeway nodded. "I'd like you to work with Annika and Seven on potential scenarios. I'm not quite willing on giving up hope of getting you home yet."
oooOooo
Chakotay hadn't been able to get any sleep after he'd given their assignments to Seven, Annika and Tuvok, and if he could judge by the drawn faces of the people standing around the table now, he hadn't been the only one. The smell of caffeine filled the air as the officers fueled up on whatever energy they could garner from the beverage. They had already gone through the first part of the plan, which involved Annika entering the conduit to get as close as possible to the plexus, then use her synaptic transceiver to establish a connection with the Queen to distract her while Voyager made her approach.
"Once inside, we'd fire a spread of transphasic torpedoes," Tuvok explained as he showed the simulation on the monitor.
Seven nodded. "They'd be programmed to detonate simultaneously."
"If Annika is successful in destabilizing the shields, the torpedoes should penetrate them," Tuvok went on, "and the conduits should begin to collapse in a cascade reaction. In order to get ahead of the shockwave, Annika will have to distract the Queen long enough for us to get as far as possible into the conduit before we detonate the torpedoes. Timing will be of utmost importance."
A heavy silence filled the room, until the captain took a step forward. "A long time ago, I made a decision that stranded this crew in the Delta Quadrant. I don't regret that decision, but I didn't know all of you then. And Voyager was just a starship. It's much more than that, now. It's become our home. I know I could order you to carry out this plan and none of you would hesitate for a second, but I'm not going to do that. You know the crewmen who work under you, and you know what your own hearts are telling you. So we're not going to attempt this unless everyone in this room agrees. No one will think less of you if you don't," she finished with a pointed look at Harry.
"Captain."
"Go ahead, Harry."
"I think it's safe to say that no one on this crew has been more…obsessed with getting home than I have. But, when I think about everything we've been through together, maybe it's not the destination that matters, maybe it's the journey. And if we have a small chance of doing something we all believe in as we try to bring that journey to an end, I think it's worth the risk. I don't think any of us would feel right if we left the Hub intact, even if that brought us safe and sound to the Alpha Quadrant. And to be honest, I can't think of any people I'd rather be with to take this leap."
Chakotay smiled, moved by Harry's speech. He couldn't have said it better himself, and pride diffused on Janeway's face as she swept the room with glassy eyes.
Tom raised his coffee mug. "To the journey."
"Hear hear!" Chakotay joined the rest of the crew in their toast.
oooOooo
Annika was making sure all was in order in her shuttle, when she noticed her younger self had stepped in and was studying her silently.
"You're curious about me," Annika stated as she kept her eyes on her task.
"A curiosity you do not seem to share," Seven replied and Annika smiled to herself before looking up.
"That is because I was you, once. There is no mystery to reveal."
Seven frowned a little. "I see."
"What do you wish to know?"
"You didn't say so in the briefing, but what you are about to do… You won't survive it."
Annika let out a small sigh. "No."
"You're prepared to die?"
Annika paused, as thoughts and images of the people she had left behind flashed through her mind – Erick, Chakotay, B'Elanna… "I have no wish to die, but I'm prepared, and willing, if it can get Voyager home. I knew this would likely be the outcome when I volunteered to come here."
"Was your life so terrible that you would want to change it?"
"Not all of it was terrible. Yet, terrible events seem to outweigh the few that brought me joy. Besides, I am not doing this to change only my life. There is more at stake."
Seven nodded and looked around the shuttle. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Annika tapped the console to run a diagnostic on the synaptic interface. "There is one thing." She turned to face Seven. "When you make it to the Alpha Quadrant, I would like you to consider undertaking a new pursuit."
"What pursuit?"
"Establish a rehabilitation program for human Borg drones. Rescue them, and teach them how to be human again. Even if we succeed in crippling the Borg's ability to travel, there will still be Cubes roaming the galaxy in search of technologies to assimilate. And you have already started the process with the children aboard this vessel."
Seven frowned a little. "Of course, but human drones are not necessarily easy to come by, even in the Alpha Quadrant."
Annika shook her head. "No. They are not. It is a dangerous enterprise. But all I am asking is that you consider it. If everything else fails, and you feel lost, such an endeavor will give you purpose, and pride. And then perhaps you'll find love again."
Seven startled at her words, and frowned. "Again?"
Annika did not reply her directly. "Should you undertake this endeavor, and find yourself lucky enough to recover a human drone designated Five of Twelve from Unimatrix Zero Three… Do all you can to save him. He will be important to you, as a man you will know as Erick."
Seven gave a perplexed nod, filled with many unasked questions. "I will consider it."
Annika returned her attention to the console, and swallowed the sudden lump constricting her throat. "Thank you."
oooOooo
"I'm ready to depart, Captain," Annika announced as she and Chakotay entered Kathryn's ready room.
"Her ship is ready to go, and the Doctor has given her the viral pathogen, as we planned," Chakotay added.
Kathryn stood and walked around her desk to face Annika. Unlike Chakotay and others from the crew, she hadn't gotten to know this version of Seven, and now she felt sorry for it. "Are you sure you're okay with this? Perhaps I should be the one using the implant to distract the Queen."
"No!" Annika and Chakotay shouted at once, and Kathryn recoiled in surprise at their urgent plea. The two of them exchanged a quick, guilty look.
"Our plan is set, Captain. I alone can pretend to be Seven of Nine," Annika went on in a more neutral tone. "Besides, the implant has been designed specifically for my DNA and could not be transferred to another individual. Do not concern yourself on my behalf, I've been prepared to do something like this since I first volunteered for this mission."
"Very well," Kathryn conceded with a nod. Reaching up to rest her hands on Annika's upper arms she looked up into her eyes as she gave her arms a gentle squeeze. "Good luck, Annika."
Kathryn was surprised to see the stoic mask Annika had been wearing start to crack, causing her to blink away unshed tears. Then she pulled Kathryn into a tight hug. Surprise made Kathryn slow in her reaction, but after a second she circled her arms to pat her back, unsure what to make of this display of affection. She glanced at Chakotay, but his eyes were cast down to his feet. Annika pulled back as suddenly as she had leaned in and straightened, tugging on her jacket as she did so.
"And good luck to you, Captain Kathryn Janeway."
Then she turned to Chakotay. "Chakotay," she said as she extended her hand. He took it. "Remember what you learned. It's not too late to make things right."
Chakotay shook her hand slowly. "You certainly gave me much to think about."
She pulled back her hand and gave a firm nod to them both. "Farewell, friends."
She turned on her heels and quickly left the room.
Shaken by the farewell a little in spite of herself, Kathryn took a moment to regroup before she cleared her throat and turned to Chakotay. "Shall we?"
He took in a long breath and straightened up, as if bracing himself, then nodded. "Let's do this."
With Chakotay on her heels, Kathryn walked onto the bridge and looked at each of her officers before she took her seat.
"Where's Tom?" she asked when she noticed his absence from the helm. "Bridge to Lieutenant Paris, we're ready to get underway."
"Captain, I'm afraid-" he stopped, and kept silent.
Kathryn exchanged a look with Chakotay. "Is there a problem, Mr. Paris?"
There was a momentary pause, and then: "On my way, Captain."
"Captain, Annika's vessel has entered the conduit, and now appears to be inside the central plexus, as planned."
"Very well, Mr. Tuvok. Let's go on red alert, and all stations, stand ready."
oooOooo