Chapter 6 Born to Die
Michael arrived at Beca's room noticing the deadly silence between both her parents but he notices the looks between them.
Beca's father was of worry and concern, whilst her mother looked bored wanting to be anywhere but here.
"Beca…Talk to me…Please…" Beca's father begged. "If it because of the divorce. We can get you the best help out there."
"You THINK! I did THIS! BECAUSE YOU LEFT US, WITH SOME BLONDE, BIMBO SLUT!" Beca almost laughed at her dad. "Don't flatter yourself and I'm not a junkie it just something that got out of hand…" Beca turned to her mum. "Can we go now?" Beca's mum not wanting to be there any longer then she needed nodded her head. "As soon as they give me the discharge papers." Michael coughed so they acknowledge his presences in the room. "Michael! You're here!"
"I always will be." He walked up to her bed and gave her a kiss on the top of her head whilst his heart ache knowing that was not true. "So, you're the young man that I need to thank for saving my daughter." Professor Mitchell thanked and reached out to shake his hand. "Yes sir…"
"Please… call me…"
"You can go now…" Beca interrupt her dad. "Beca…" her dad pleaded. "Well DAD and I use the term lightly, you can see I'm fine not that you care so now you can go back to the bimbo slut." Beca's mum keeping quiet throughout the entire exchange, silently enjoying the scene. "Beca…" Once again, her dad pleaded with her. "I said GO…!" Beca turned her head no longer wanting to face him. "Okay…If you need anything, you can always call me." He said as he walked towards her bed to try a place a kiss on her head. "Don't…" Beca warned, her tone stopping her dad in her tracks. "…I wouldn't hold your breath, I no longer need you…" She paused, watching as her dad sighed and turning on his heel he was a step away from exiting her room when Beca finished her sentence. "…James."
Hearing his daughter calling him out by his first name made his eyes start to fill up and briefly stop. "Not matter what you think of me you're still my daughter and I will love you always." Then he was gone.
"Beca…" Michael saw what Beca didn't. Pain in the man's eye, pain on losing a daughter but Beca was too blinded by her anger for her father to see it. He looked over to her mother and could swear he saw a smirk on her face. "Can we please go now?" Beca turned to her mum. "Okay let's see if those papers are ready."
Once Beca's mum finished sighing the papers they finally left the hospital.
Beca looked at her empty glass playing with it, took a cigarette out and lit it. If it wasn't for that incident six months ago, that made her once again build that wall back up she wouldn't have lost her motivation or effort that she put in her mixes.
If it wasn't for that incident she would not be here drinking and smoking her life away, plus all the other stuff that she lowered herself to do.
She had a dream that she was following through and for once, had more than one good friend around her.
Friends that she had classed as 'sisters.'
If it wasn't for that incident. Her life now, wouldn't be so fucked up and she would not hate the world right now.
She ordered another drink as she smoked, if she carrying on drinking like this she will have to start a tab.
The more she drank, the more her memories start to resurface those that involved Michael were mostly good the others especially involving her mother were the ones that she wanted to stay buried.
However, there was one memory of Michael she did not want to remember, she kept hidden and locked away but now due to her state of mind she remembered…She remembered how hard her heart had shattered.
She remembered how she was in so much pain that she couldn't face him when he was calling out for her, that one last time.
She remembered how much hatred her only friend had in his eyes.
She remembered how she ran away from the funeral as soon as she entered the church.
Mostly she remembered how empty she felt.
She returned to school to the news that Casey had committed suicide as it was relived her secret was out, Beca had some people who called her names in the past apologising for their behaviour, towards her.
The day of Casey's funeral Michael took Beca to a place of her choice to take her mind off things but also for another reason.
He had to tell her the truth.
"Nathan told me what nearly happened between you two…" Beca looked at him, then quickly looked back at the peaceful scenery. "…He can never lie to me." Beca closed her eyes for a second then opened them, her breathing for a moment stopped before carrying on again. "I was at a low."
"Would you have?" Not looking at him in his eyes, if they want to start over again with a fresh slate then all the truth had to be told. "Yes…"
"I see…"
"Are you mad?"
"Not at you…At myself." Beca was silent and asked the question that she wanted the answer to. "Why did you do it? Why did you kiss her? Who was she to you?" Michael took a deep breath and begin to explain to her, his reason.
Beca was silent not knowing what to say or how to feel, she just been told her boyfriend just told her he kissed the girl on purpose because he was ill and due to the stress. He didn't want to add on to it.
Beca suddenly stood up and started to walk away, Michael stood up also and caught up with her. Grabbing her wrist, with all her emotions that was holding in she just let loose and began to lash out. "You Bastard! You son of an unprotected STD ridden COCK! HOW COULD YOU!? And don't give me that crap about not wanting to add on to my stress. That's just a cop out!" She looked at his eyes and saw something else in them. "You think that I couldn't handle something like that?" Michael could not answer her and realisation had hit her. "Jesus Christ! … I…I" She broke down. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Beca…" Michael pleaded. "I did not know you will react this way…"
"You kissed that girl not just in front of me, but in front of the whole school…Do you know how humiliated I felt…Then I nearly kissed your best friend…Then…Well you were there for the rest." Many tears rolled down her face. "Just take me home."
"Beca?"
"Just take me home."
Michael drove Beca home in silence, as soon as the car stopped she released her seat belt and opened the door trying to make a quick exit. Michael just as quickly got out and ran up to her, facing her and holding her by the wrist not too hard but enough to stop her. "Michael…"
"Just listen…I love you, I did a stupid mistake I admit that and I admit that my mistake made you do what you did. Tell me what I have to do to make it up to you."
Beca sighed. She looked at Michael and felt her heart beating faster and her stomach had still got the butterfly feeling, she realises after what happened between them she still loves him deeply. "Time…I still love you…I just need time with everything." She said truthfully. Michael released his hold on her as he understood. "Okay… Take all the time you need. Just promise me you call me when you are ready I will wait no matter how long you need. I will wait for you."
Beca just nodded her head and quickly went inside her house not looking back.
A few weeks went by with no sighting of Michael in school she had been making herself busy by putting her effort in her hobby to create mixes, she had no idea as yet want she will do with them but she knew she figures it out it will be awesome.
"How much more time do you need?" She heard a voice behind her, and turned around, seeing Nathan, clearly upset. "Excuse you?"
"I know the lad did wrong, only because he was worried about how you will take his news…"
"Oh, my god!" Realisation hit Beca. "…You knew!? That time when you found me and we nearly kissed! Was that you taking advantage of me?"
"No I would never do that! I told him it was a stupid plan."
"I thought we were friends…Why didn't you tell me?" Beca could feel her eyes fill with tears. "We are! But… you needed to hear it from him, not me…" Nathan began to walk away. "You need to see him…"
Beca just stood still and watched him walk away, she knows that she needs to see him and soon, she knows that she needed to forgive him and she knows that she needed to face what was scaring her the most.
Watching the love of her life… slowly dying.
A few more weeks passed and she still couldn't bring herself to make contact with Michael, not even by phone or a visit to his house, to see how he was.
With everything going on in her life at the moment she wasn't paying any attention to where she was walking and had bumped into somebody.
"I'm sorry… "Then she saw who she had bumped into, sighing as she did not want to hear another lecture. "Beca…He's sick…He's in hospital…He needs to see you…" He saw Beca not making eye contact, knowing she is scared as he is too. "And you need to see him…" Beca was fiddling with her jacket, the inner battle she having with herself showing. "I be with you. Please? He's lost without you." Beca, still couldn't make eye contact with him just nodded her head.
That following night, Nathan picked her up and they both went to the hospital to visit someone they both hold special in their hearts.
"How you doing, man?" Nathan as always put on his brave face as he greeted his life-long friend. "You know me fighting the cause…" Michael smiled. "I got a surprise for you. Guess who's here?" Michael did not want to get his hopes up but when he saw Beca as she walked in at first, she stopped mid step as she saw how ill he really did look, but when she saw him giving her the biggest smile she couldn't help herself but smile back.
This time it wasn't about her and her problems she was here because of him and she needed to be there for him, through every step of the way.
As time went by Beca spent every free moment she had with him laughing, joking and even have the quick sneaky fumble. They also tried to take each other's minds off the reality facing them in their young lives, by Beca playing her mixes and taken in Michael advice.
However, it was not always light and laughter as Beca walked in when Michael was laying into Nathan. "Will you stop telling me that I am going to get better? We all know that I'm going to die! Hell, we are all born to die!"
"Bro…"
"No don't bro me! You have your life ahead of you! You can get to have the two point four kids, the white picket fence and the FUCKING DOG! I can't have that! Just get out…"
"MICHEAL!" Beca shouted at him. "And in pops the SLUT! you can have that all with!" Beca deep down knew it was his frustrations and anger coming out so she took it, she just let him carrying on laying into her. "Now you can get to FUCK anyone you want! So, you might as well start with my so called best mate! Starting with the missed opportunity with the kiss!"
"Michael…" Nathan was pleading to let the topic go. "Get out…" Nathan looked tired and at first did not want to move he turned to Beca and she nodded her head to reassure him that she will be okay.
Watching Nathan exit the room Beca turned to Michael and walk towards his bed placing her hand over his, at first, he tried to pull away but she held it tight and she sat beside him being careful of the tubes.
She just laid next to him, holding his hand neither of them not saying anything, just taking in the silence and comfort that surrounded them. "I'm sorry." Michael let out, not making eye contact with his girlfriend. "I know." Beca replied her focus still on his hand. "I'm scared."
"I know, me to." Beca took her focus of his hand and looked at him in the eye, planting a gently kiss on his lips.
She couldn't do it she couldn't watch him die and she regretted that day ever since.
When Michael died, she builds up the wall of her emotions and harden her heart, taking all the verbal abuse from Nathan telling her how she was a selfish bitch and he lied to best friend telling him want he wanted to hear that she was on her way to see him before he took his last breath and she was the reason he was fighting for so long.
When he died, she had an excuse to go to LA to escape the painful memories and start a new life, although that did not go to well with her mum.
"She's not going to show, is she?"
"She be here, probably stuck in traffic…"
"If I were her, I wouldn't be here…Tell her I love…" Michael felt too weak there were times when he was hallucinating, times he did not have the energy to talk but deep down he understood why Beca wouldn't want to see him.
He died that night.
Her father once told her it was lonely if she kept this wall up, she replied it was easier because she can no longer stand being hurt.
She again started slowly to let people in, was surprised when the girls waited for her in her room when she got arrested, making her stay and enjoy her life at Barden, staying longer then intended and getting her degree she also got along better with her dad and Sheila.
She was actually happy with the way her life was going…
…Then it only takes that ONE thing! That ONE! Incident to build her wall up again and fuck up her life.
She looked inside her glass and in the dark liquid's reflection for a moment she saw her mother looking back at her, yet another memory resurfacing that she wanted to bury deep….
TBC...
One more chapter then the revel! Thanks for reading and sticking with it!