PART II

Chapter 6

As soon as he was able to free himself from his bridge duties, Chakotay hurried to sickbay, exchanging grins with crewmembers as he made his way. Morale had never been so high on board, and it struck him as a stark contrast from Captain Chakotay's log, in which his alter ego had had to deal with a demoralized crew in addition to his own grief. He was immensely grateful to him, and to Annika, for their sacrifice – more so than he could ever express. He would do everything in his power to never forget them, and to honor their losses, and their lives.

He slowed his pace as he stepped through the doorway and found the glowing parents, the Doctor, and Captain Janeway all bent over a little squirming bundle wrapped up in a soft blanket in B'Elanna's arms.

A grin appeared of its own volition on his lips as he quietly stepped closer. B'Elanna beamed up at him from where she was sitting, and he shook Tom's hand when he stepped next to him. He felt Kathryn touch his shoulder and he smiled down at her before peering down at the newborn.

"Congratulations to you both," Chakotay said quietly as he reached his hand to touch the soft duvet of Miral's hair, then leaned closer. "Welcome to the family, Miral," he said softly, and he was surprised at how much these few words choked him with emotion. He understood Captain Chakotay's feelings now more than ever – he was overcome with love for this tiny being as if she were his flesh and blood, and he vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to protect her. He swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat as he straightened. How was it even possible to feel this way?

B'Elanna was the only one to witness his reaction, and she gave him a shaky smile before turning to Kathryn.

"Captain, would you like to hold her?" B'Elanna offered.

Kathryn startled at the suggestion, and Chakotay allowed himself the luxury of resting a hand on her back in encouragement. She gave him and B'Elanna an eager smile as she reached out. "Oh, can I?"

B'Elanna and Tom exchanged a proud look as Kathryn cooed over their daughter. The officers had seen many sides of her over the years, but hearing her baby talk probably topped the cake. Chakotay grinned as he leaned over her shoulder to gaze at Miral, feeling a little entranced himself.

The sound of footsteps distracted Chakotay from the baby as he looked up to find Seven slowing down her stride as she took in the crowd.

Chakotay suddenly realized that his hand was still on the captain's back, so he slowly lowered it back to his side. It had been a purely innocent touch, but Chakotay could only imagine what it might have looked like to Seven.

"Oh forgive me, I came to congratulate the new parents. I can return at a later time."

"Seven, come on in," Tom called amicably. "Come and meet our daughter, Miral."

Seven approached slowly, almost cautiously, and didn't meet Chakotay's eyes when she reached the captain's side. Clasping her hands behind her back, she peered into the sleeping face.

"She is truly exquisite. Congratulations," she said to the parents.

"Would you like to hold her?" Kathryn offered, but Seven straightened, shaking her head.

"Perhaps some other time. For now I am needed in Engineering." She gave an acknowledging nod to everyone, then turned on her heels.

Chakotay closed his eyes at the look Tom and B'Elanna exchanged. He hadn't had a chance to talk to her since they had made it back, but now he realized that he couldn't postpone the discussion any longer. His alter ego's log had made him face up to a lot of things, and now was the time to rectify it all.

"Excuse me."

He felt Kathryn follow his retreat with her eyes, and just as he turned around the corner, he heard Tom's curious: "What was that about? Ow- why did you hit me?"

"None of our business," B'Elanna chided sternly.

Chakotay found Seven not in Engineering, but in Cargo Bay 2.

"Seven," he called, but she kept her eyes glued to her console.

"She tried to warn me," she replied eventually.

"What are you talking about?" He asked as he approached her slowly.

"Annika, from the future timeline." She looked up at him at last, and it was obvious she was upset. Frustrated. "She told me things… that suggested that you and I would not pursue a relationship in the future. I wish I had given her comments more heed, then." She lifted her gaze to his. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Chakotay was stunned. He wasn't sure what to say, because he couldn't deny that he had come here to put an end to their relationship. And yet his heart broke a little at the thought of hurting her. Because that had never been his intention. He heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry."

She returned her eyes to the console. "So am I. But I see it now."

He frowned. "What?"

"Do you recall, when we reached the Alpha Quadrant, you immediately went to stand by the captain." Chakotay's frown deepened, it had been instinctual for him to do so, he hadn't given his action any thought at all. But he supposed that was exactly her point. "I realized in that moment that that was where you belonged, and where you wanted to be. And when I saw you standing together just now…" She shook her head. "It confirmed my suspicions. And even though this realization causes me pain, I understand- no, I accept its logic."

Chakotay longed to comfort her, but he didn't know how, so he settled for the truth. "Even though it was done unintentionally, I heartily regret hurting you but… I don't regret getting to know you, Annika Hansen. You are truly remarkable." When she said nothing, he nodded and slowly retreated.

"Chakotay," she called when he was almost past the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"You will always hold a special place in my heart," she admitted, her eyes still on the console.

Chakotay inhaled slowly and gave a small smile. "As will you, Annika."

oooOooo

"Captain Janeway, thank you for joining us," Admiral Hayes told her through the video transmission. "Let me say, on behalf of the Federation and Starfleet Command, welcome home."

"Thank you Admiral," she replied with a polite smile before she took a sip from her coffee and leaned her elbow on her desk. "How can I help you gentlemen?"

Admirals Hayes and Paris as well as several other high-ranking officers had asked her to join them for a joint briefing. She had to admit, she was curious about their motive, and about why this couldn't wait for a couple of more days when they would be able to do it face to face. She couldn't help a twinge of dread from knotting her stomach. Urgency generally equaled bad news.

"I understand you will be reaching Earth soon, Captain," Admiral Paris started.

"Yes, at our current speed we should be there tomorrow. I'm sure you're looking forward to meeting your granddaughter, Admiral. She is a true marvel."

"Indeed, indeed I am. However this is not the reason for my asking. We would like to request your presence at a hearing with the oversight committee, regarding your and your crewmembers' actions over the course of your journey."

Kathryn frowned as her dread intensified. "Of course, Admiral – we have nothing to hide. I, and everyone on my crew, will stand by our actions, and our logs."

"Yes, I'm sure," Admiral Hayes chimed in, using a tone that wanted to be reassuring. "This is nothing personal, Kathryn, but there are some among the admiralty who are particularly curious about your Maquis crew. And that reformed Borg young woman you took under your wing."

Kathryn stiffened. "Of course I would be happy to provide any reassurances to the admiralty that Seven of Nine, and the former members of the Maquis aboard Voyager have long become an integral part of my crew. My Starfleet crew. If there was any pardon to be had – I, as Captain, gave it to them. Long ago. Wholeheartedly."

"Of course we understand your position, Captain," Admiral Paris went on. "But there are some concerns that upon returning to Earth the Maquis will want to resume their illegitimate activities on the border. And that would be unacceptable."

Kathryn tried to stay calm, but she could feel her blood rising with every slight the admirals made on her crew. "Your concerns are uncalled for, I assure you. They are fully aware that their movement was decimated years ago. And they've had their fair share of warfare and loss on our journey. No," Kathryn shook her head, "they are no threat to the Federation's interests!" She leaned closer to the screen. "I am surprised at you, Admiral Paris, that you should have such suspicions when your own daughter-in-law is a former Maquis. With all due respect, I wonder what Tom would say if he found out you suspected his wife of treason."

"You're awfully close to insubordination, Captain!" Admiral Paris barked. "I would thank you not to bring my son into this conversation. My relationship with him is of no concern of yours!"

"On the contrary – with all due respect, Admiral, the men and women under my command have long become my family. And I will not tolerate it when their sacrifices, loyalty, and achievements, are being delegitimized in such a fashion! They deserve your admiration, not your suspicions! The same goes for Seven of Nine."

"Alright, alright," Admiral Hayes intervened. "Let's not lose our heads, here. Captain, I'm afraid our request for a meeting isn't an invitation. You and Commander Chakotay will attend the hearing, whether you want to or not. However," he conceded in a softer tone, "I'm sure it is only a formality. I have read through most of your log, and I applaud Commander Chakotay and the other Maquis on their exploits and for their loyalty to you." He paused to glance at Admiral Paris, looking slightly discouraged to see the latter was still fuming. He shook his head before returning his gaze to the camera. "We will see you at HQ the day after tomorrow, ten-hundred hours."

He cut the connection and Kathryn slapped her desk angrily as she straightened. She started pacing around her ready room. It had been such a long time since she had stopped seeing the Maquis members as anything other than her crew, and in some cases, her closest friends, that to be called to an official hearing felt like a betrayal. The Federation, her own, dear Starfleet – whose values had so long been the rock she stood on – was betraying her, by not trusting her judgment.

Hopefully this really was just a formality, but she found that hard to believe.

The sound of the door chime distracted her and she stopped pacing. "Come in."

She was relieved to see Tuvok enter her office, and not Chakotay, because right now she was too furious to apprise her First Officer of the situation in a manner befitting a captain. "Mr. Tuvok," she greeted, grateful for the distraction. "What can I do for you?"

"Captain, here is my report on the damage we sustained while escaping the Borg. I believe you will find Voyager's resilience satisfactory."

Kathryn smiled slightly as he handed her the PADD.

"I already do." She sat on the edge of her desk and took another sip of coffee. "Have you had a chance to talk to your family yet?"

"I have. I have also arranged for a leave of absence next month. I will meet with them at that time."

"Will they be able to help you?"

"I believe so. My father has agreed to the mind meld. In any case, it will be… good… to see my wife and children again."

Kathryn nodded as this news pushed aside her anger and instantly gave rise to more positive emotions in her heart. She couldn't quite help the large smile from forming on her face – if Tuvok was unable to show his relief, she had enough of it for two. "I'm glad."

"What about you, Captain? Have you given some thought as to what you will do next?"

Kathryn swallowed another sip of coffee and shook her head. "Oh no. I haven't had time to think about that yet – I haven't even started packing. I have to admit, though, a leave of absence sounds pretty good right about now. I think this crew deserves a nice, long vacation."

"Agreed." He paused and seemed to hesitate before he went on. "I may not have another opportunity to say it, Captain, so allow me to do so now: it has been a privilege to serve under you."

Touched beyond words, Kathryn slowly walked to him and squeezed his upper arms. "No Tuvok, the privilege has been all mine."

He gave a solemn nod and Kathryn let go of his arms, her heart full.

oooOooo

That night it wasn't long before an impromptu gathering of people in the mess hall turned into a full-blown celebration. By the time Chakotay returned from his errand, the room was packed and he stopped at the entrance for a moment, relishing the sound of laughter and overall merriment in the room. The air was filled with aromas from delicious spices coming from the kitchen, and Chakotay felt his stomach growl in response.

He quickly spotted the senior officers: B'Elanna, Tom and Miral in one corner talking with the Doctor and Seven – who gave him a brief, serene, nod when she saw him; Tuvok playing Kal-toh with Harry as others looked on in suspense; and finally the captain standing behind the counter with Neelix's 'replacement' and former Maquis, Mr. Chell. They were engaged in an intense discussion, and Chakotay approached curiously, but cautiously, not sure whether his interruption would be welcomed.

"Now," Mr. Chell was instructing the captain, "if you flick your wrist, like this, you can sauté the vegetables in a much more efficient manner."

Chakotay tried in vain to bite back a grin when Kathryn tried to do just that, and half the vegetables in her pan slid out of it and landed on the floor. "Alright," she decided as she set the pan down on the burner, "that's it. I still don't see why a good old-fashioned wooden spoon can't do the trick."

"It can, Captain, but-"

"Chakotay, save me from myself here," Kathryn joked with a crooked grin when she spotted him, "and give me some of that champagne."

Chakotay grinned as he handed her the bottles over the counter. It wasn't strictly champagne, but it came pretty close. "I take it you'll be sticking to the replicator, then?" he teased. "I'm impressed Chell, you're a courageous man," he told the new cook, who looked embarrassed to be at the root of Chakotay's teasing of the captain, and mumbled something about it being an honor to help the captain.

Kathryn slapped Chakotay's arm as she threw him a sidelong glance – it made him chuckle. "Don't tease him," she admonished before turning her attention back to their new cook. "Thank you for your patience, Mr. Chell. I'm afraid I'm a lost cause," she told him generously as she opened one of the bottles. Chell nodded and escaped to the back. "I see your secret stash remains undiscovered, Chakotay."

"Luckily for us," Chakotay replied as he sampled some of the nut varieties displayed on the counter for the occasion. "I've been saving those for a special occasion. I think tonight qualifies."

She smiled as she lined up glasses and started pouring. "Agreed."

As he watched her diligently filling up champagne glasses for everyone, Chakotay leaned on his elbows on the counter and took the rare opportunity to watch her and take in her familiar features; the expressive curve of her eyebrows, the lips that tonight couldn't stop smiling, the soft shiny hair that he had gotten to touch, once, a long time ago. How he'd missed her, recently! One more thing his alter ego's log had made him face up to… He knew now that he'd never really stopped loving her - how could he - but he also knew that they had drifted apart. So in that moment, as he took his fill of her beloved features, Chakotay vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to recover their connection, to rekindle the spark. It was still there, he knew it, it just needed some attention and care. She just needed to be reminded of what it used to be, and more importantly, everything he knew it could be. And that was exactly what he would do – as patiently as the endeavor required – and when she was ready, then he might find the courage to talk to her about the future. His hopes. His feelings. Now that they were back in the Alpha Quadrant, that future looked much more promising than the one Annika had shown him.

Soon enough, people started to take glasses and it didn't take long before everyone had theirs. The captain even made sure that Naomi and the other kids had a glass of juice for the occasion. Then Chakotay called for attention. "Captain Janeway would like to say a few words," he introduced as the room shushed, and he turned to her.

"Thank you all. We have much to celebrate tonight: our return home, of course; our newest crewmember," she added as she pointed to the Parises, "our small victory over the Borg. And it seems fitting that we all somehow converged here tonight, with the only intent of sharing this last night on Voyager together. I want to thank you all, for your hard work over the years, and your support." She looked directly at Chakotay then, and he bit his lip, embarrassed at the attention. She went on. "I know it's not been easy – we lost some dear friends along the way, made some new ones too. But it is because of you that we made it this far. And I know, that each and every one of you will go on to do wonderful things with your lives – I only hope that we will get to do some of those things together again, for I will miss you all."

"Hear hear," Chakotay cheered and the crowd followed. "And I would like to propose a toast for the captain, our own Captain Kathryn Janeway," Chakotay said as he half turned toward her, "for accomplishing what she vowed she would do seven years ago, and that is, of course, to bring us home. Captain, you have been our guiding light, our steadfast and wise leader, but most importantly, the glue that held us all together. To the captain!"

"To the captain!"

After the toasts, people quietly returned to their conversations.

"Shall we sit?" Chakotay suggested and she nodded, gesturing for him to lead the way. He led her to one of the tables in the corner, where they could take in the entire room. It was such a happy sight, that Chakotay wanted to burn the image into his brain forever.

They took a few sips of their glasses in silence, until it became thick with tension. Chakotay was all too aware that he needed to tell her about Seven, but now was not the time. Besides, he had promised her drinks on the Pier, and he intended to keep that promise. "Have you thought about what you're going to do now?" Chakotay asked at last, with no other intention than relieving some of the tension.

She gave a lopsided smile. "Tuvok asked me the same thing earlier, and…" she shook her head slowly. "I still don't have an answer. I suppose I'll have to see what Starfleet has in store for me." She leaned her elbows on the table as she went on. "For seven years I knew exactly what was expected of me, I had goals, specific objectives that I could rely on to guide me, but now… I can't imagine not doing what we've been doing the last seven years. I think I'm still getting used to the idea that our journey is really over."

"You'd like to keep exploring, then?"

"Maybe. A part of me is exhausted and longs for some stability, but another part dreads the boredom that would come with that kind of life. Does that make sense?" she asked with a frown as she gazed intently at him. They hadn't had a conversation that felt this intimate for a long time now, and Chakotay leaned in just a little closer, caught up in the pleasure of her full attention.

"Yes, it makes sense. You'll just have to find something that keeps you on your toes. A scientific mission, maybe?"

"Oh I don't know, Chakotay. Right now all I can think about is a vacation."

Chakotay chuckled in surprise and she soon joined him. "What about you?" She asked before she took another sip of her champagne, and Mr. Chell brought them a platter with a variety of food that made Chakotay's mouth water. They thanked him with a nod.

"A vacation sounds good to me too," Chakotay teased as he tried some of the green vegetables – it was delicious. She gave him a look and he shrugged. "I don't know. Well- one thing I do know: I don't think I'm cut out to be a Starfleet officer anymore."

She leaned back in surprise to better stare at him. "I think the last seven years would belie that statement, Chakotay."

He chuckled quietly. "Thank you, but I've developed a flaw – fatal, for an officer: I don't think I could serve under another captain. My allegiance has always been to you, and to this crew. Not to Starfleet." Her expression softened into… something that he couldn't quite identify as she studied him. Starting to feel a little exposed under her intense gaze, he shrugged. "And besides, I doubt the admiralty will look at me with as much generosity as you have. I expect my Maquis ties won't be looked upon kindly. Something my… alter ego from the future said in his log seems to suggest that the past has not been forgotten in certain circles."

She tensed and her expression sobered. "I'm afraid you may be right about that."

Chakotay looked up at her in surprise as she explained. "I had a meeting with Starfleet Command today – they requested that you and I attend an oversight committee hearing the day after tomorrow. They mentioned some of their concerns about the Maquis, and the fear that they would resume their activities once they return home."

Chakotay frowned. "That's ridiculous. But I can't say I'm surprised." He sighed. "Alright, well, I don't really care what happens to me, but I'll have to make sure that the others are not punished for their past."

"We both will. And for the record, I care what happens to you, so don't go throwing your life away, Commander."

Chakotay gave a small smile, but before he could reply the Doctor seemed to just appear at his side (for all he knew, he really had), his old-fashioned camera in his hand.

"I think this is an occasion for posterity, wouldn't you agree, Captain?"

"I would, Doctor," she agreed with an amused glance at Chakotay.

"May I take a photograph of the both of you, then?"

They mumbled their agreement uncomfortably and the Doctor moved around the table to stand in front of them. Chakotay hesitated, but then slowly leaned an inch closer to her and rested his arm on the back of her chair. She threw him a strange, almost alarmed look, before she returned her attention to the Doctor. Heart beating wildly in his chest at her proximity, Chakotay took a second to focus.

Before he knew it there was a click, and Chakotay startled. The camera had caught him staring at the captain and not at the camera, he was sure of it. He cleared his throat. "Doctor, why don't you take another one, I think my eyes were closed."

The Doctor nodded in understanding, and Chakotay made sure he was looking at the camera when he snapped the picture this time. He'd have to make sure no one saw the first one.

"Wonderful, thank you both!" the Doctor said before walking away, in search of his next victims.

Chakotay straightened back into his seat, and he was slightly relieved to see Tom and B'Elanna make their way toward them – not before the Doctor snapped a shot of them as well. Chakotay stood and gallantly pulled a chair for B'Elanna and she took it – though not without sending him a mock death glare at his chivalry – just for old times' sakes. He grinned in response.

"So how's our youngest recruit doing?" Chakotay asked as he peered over Tom's shoulder to look at Miral in his arms.

"She is doing just fine," he reassured as he extended his arms toward Chakotay, offering him his precious cargo.

Moved in spite of himself, Chakotay accepted the small bundle and held Miral gently against his chest. She was awake, and looking around the room and the lights on the ceiling with wide eyes. Chakotay reached up a finger and she grabbed it instinctively.

"How did your parents take the news of the little one's arrival?" Kathryn asked from beside him as her fingers toyed with Miral's tiny foot.

Tom and B'Elanna exchanged a look. "I spoke to my father yesterday, and he seemed happy enough. I'm afraid it's going to take more than a grandchild for him to accept me for who I am, but… Small steps," Tom said.

"What about you B'Elanna, have you spoken to your father since we got back?"

"Not yet. We set up a transmission for tomorrow."

"We're hoping he'll be able to come and visit us on Earth while we figure out what we're going to do next," Tom added.

Harry joined them then and stood next to Chakotay to better gaze at Miral. Apparently Chakotay wasn't the only one enamored with her.

"And what about you, Harry? Have you spoken to your family?" The captain asked kindly as she leaned forward to rest her chin in her palm, her interest in his response unfeigned.

"Yes ma'am. I'm really excited to see them."

"But?" Chakotay asked when Harry seemed to leave it hanging.

"But… I guess part of me is afraid that things will have changed while I was gone, you know?"

"That's a legitimate fear, Mr. Kim," Kathryn replied, "but your parents are still your parents – and they'll love you just as much as before. No amount of time, or distance, can change that."

"I can attest to that," Tom agreed as his fingers ruffled Miral's hair affectionately.

"What about you, Captain? Anybody you look forward to reuniting with?" Harry asked and Chakotay felt Kathryn stiffen slightly next to him. His thoughts went to her former fiancée, and he was pretty sure hers had as well.

"My mother and my sister's family are the only family I have left – aside from you all, of course," she added with a smile to lighten her response. "And Mollie, my dog." She leaned her chin on her hand again, a comically dejected frown on her face. "Oh I have really missed Mollie." The officers laughed and she smiled as she straightened.

"And what about you, Chakotay?" Tom asked.

Chakotay shook his head. "My sister lives near the Cardassian border, so it might be a while before I get to see her. But until then we'll still be able to communicate, I'm sure."

They all fell silent, and Chakotay shook himself from his thoughts of his sister as he moved to return Miral to her father's arms. "Well, I think I'll go and relieve the poor devils stuck on bridge duty while we're all out here, celebrating. With your permission, captain, I'll send them your way," he added and she nodded.

"Of course."

He stood with a smile. "Good night everyone, Captain."

"You're a generous soul, Chakotay," B'Elanna said as he started walking away, and he grinned.

"Keep some of that food for me!"

~0~

Chakotay had just settled at the helm when Harry and Tom stepped out of the turbolift.

"Permission to join you, sir?" Harry asked formally, his hands clasped behind his back.

Chakotay stared at them in surprise. "Don't you two want to celebrate with the others? You certainly deserve it!"

"Actually, sir, I've decided this is where I want to be for my last night on board," Harry replied stubbornly.

"B'Elanna's getting sick of me fussing over her. She ordered me here," Tom added with an innocent look that seemed to challenge Chakotay to call on his bluff.

Chakotay grinned instead, and he stood from the helm station. "Well then, gentlemen, I'm honored to have you here."

They grinned and both moved to take their posts.

"Compliments of the captain," Tom said as he handed Chakotay a container of aromatic food.

Chakotay gave a chuckle. "Spirits bless Kathryn Janeway."

oooOooo