Endless Road to Rediscover

Part 3: Dead in the Water

Chapter 7: Purpose

Thinking back to the town of Lake Manitoc Dean made his mind up, they weren't going near water until Sam could swim. For now though they had just pulled into one of the more ritzier-ritzy for Dean at least- motels, one which had a pool (not ritzy enough to rank a hotel). Sam had fared far better in the research area than Dean had anticipated, Sam had actually enjoyed the work. Dean was too mature (at least Dean would like to think so) to feel thwarted in his fraternal antics, however if one were to describe him as slightly put out that Sam basically loved something he had hoped would be a suitable punishment and shared burden, than they wouldn't be too far from the truth.

Sam was coming along great as a hunter to be, having scrounged up the last nightmare of a hunt that they'd taken on through his research skills. They'd saved a mother and child from the ghost of a child who had been killed through bullying. The whole subject had seemed to hit close to home for Sam, experiences dredged up that were best forgotten. Dean didn't know what exactly but he hoped Sam would open up to him about it. On top of that the sonuvabitch had nearly drowned Sam, hence Dean's suddenly sprouted hatred for any container that held enough water to drown in.

"Why're we here?" Sam asked as they unloaded the Impala.

Sam was sending Dean a curious look, eyes pointedly watching Dean pull out extra luggage that he usually left in the car.

"We're gonna stick around here for a while, start the next and probably the most important part of your training."

Sam blinked, curiosity obviously not sated. Once Sam had gotten comfortable enough with Dean, questions poured from his mouth, he still hesitated once in a while, gauging Dean for a negative or positive response. The questions were usually okay but once in awhile they bugged the crap out of Dean, he was trying his best though since he wanted Sam to feel comfortable asking.

"You've probably figured out by now but being a hunter is physically demanding. Being physically capable can mean the difference between life and death."

Sam gave a small nod, he seemed notably less enthusiastic about this part of hunting.

"Like when you saved Andrea." Sam pointed out.

Dean stuttered to a stop, he wasn't quite used to Sam referring to the people they interacted with by name. Usually it was 'that girl' or 'the one guy', names were more personal. He also recalled the terrifying moment when he'd fought to drag the woman from the bath tub, knowing that her son was just in the doorway depending on him to save his mother.

"Yeah, her." Dean replied, voice slightly subdued.

"So I'm going to train?" Sam spoke as if the idea was foreign and strange.

Dean smiled and nodded. "But first, you're going to learn to swim."

An hour later they were both in the pool. Sam was catching on quick and what had first started out with fear and hesitancy had turned into enthusiastic enjoyment, Dean was afraid he wouldn't be able to get Sam out.

Sam had just taken his first cannon ball and was swimming decently, if still slightly awkward, toward Dean who was on the shallow side. He was grinning like there was no tomorrow, sun shining down despite the month. They were in a small interstate town just a few miles north of El Paso and it was unusually warm. It was honestly relaxing, Dean couldn't recall the last time he had swam for recreation instead of having to save someone's life.

"Am I doing alright?" Sam asked, swimming in circles around Dean.

Dean chuckled slightly and gave a nod. Sam kicked around a little bit more before he stilled and then turned so he was floating on his back. Dean couldn't help but smile at Sam's ability to relish in his new found ability.

"How come you never learned how to swim at the orphanage?"

Sam didn't flip up from where he was still floating but he closed his eyes and let out a breath slowly.

"We didn't really do stuff like that with Ms. Lloyd, and the school I went to didn't have one."

Dean blinked. School. It took him a moment to process that before the implications came through. Shit. Sam was supposed to be in school and they were in the beginning of December. School started in September, right? He remembered vaguely that part of the papers he'd gotten on Sam were school records.

"I mean, the community center had one but," Sam paused, voice quiet.

Dean snapped away from thinking about school to Sam because he could tell Sam was probably going to say something important.

"I didn't really have friends, I sucked at making them and Ms. Lloyd made sure that anyone who wanted to be friends with me weren't able to."

"She was a real bitch, wasn't she?"

Sam chuckled at Dean's tone and a few moments passed before he suddenly turned upright. Sam's mouth twisted in an impish grin, the previous sadness vanishing.

"Takes one to know one, jerk." Sam punctuated his teasing with a sudden splash which launched chlorine water up Dean's nose and sent him into spluttering coughs.

"You'll pay for that, bitch!" Dean surged forward and they began a war of splashing which left no survivors.

They didn't come out of the pool till later when both were tasting chlorine and felt sunbaked by the chemicals in the water. Sam was all pruney and he still felt tired from the run Dean had gone on with him this morning but at the same time he felt more amazing than he ever had.

It was hard to think that a little over a month ago Sam had been alone in an orphanage going to a school where he was bullied daily. Now he was travelling on the road in a cool car, eating junk food and hanging out with the coolest person he was sure existed. On top of that, he got to save lives alongside Dean. Despite it though, worry nagged at him, fear that Dean would suddenly leave, suddenly realize that Sam was an anchor which dragged him down. No one had ever been so patient with him before, no one had ever looked worried like Dean did about him. Sam didn't want to lose that.

They both dressed and headed to a local diner to eat before coming back to the motel. Sam sunk onto the bed, stomach full and his body perfectly exhausted. He couldn't recall being so content.

"I pay up for a decent room and you're going to sleep in the sheets all chloriney and gross?"

Sam let out a grunt and rolled over on the bed, he was too tired to do anything.

"Take a shower."

Sam lifted his head and glared at Dean, eyes drooping. He just wanted to sleep. Dean raised a brow in response. Sam huffed and got out of bed, heading toward the bathroom with a change of clothing.

"Don't take all the hot water."

Sam didn't reply but he was out in ten minutes and asleep on the bed within seconds.

Dean managed a small scoff before going to take a shower.

The sound of distressed whimpers and disturbed groans pulled Dean from a peaceful sleep, blinking blearily he raised his head. Sam was on the opposite bed, writhing in the sheets, face scrunched up in distress.

"Sam?" Dean's voice was scratchy from sleep.

Sam didn't respond, whatever nightmare he was trapped in having too tight a hold. Or possibly he was sick and fevered again. Getting up from bed, Dean padded over to the other bed and placed a hand on Sam's forehead. Sam seemed to still some but there wasn't any heat.

Dean frowned, wondering about what he should do. His father had always been an ignore it till it goes away type of guy, Dean was naturally in the same strain as his father however; Sam looked so upset, face scrunched in fear. And then Sam let out a small pained cry. Dean let out a soft, exasperated sigh.

"I'm going friggin' soft." He mumbled to himself.

Leaning over, Dean gently shook Sam's shoulder. Sam didn't respond and Dean grimaced as he sat on the bed to better shake Sam. Sam let out a harsh scream, hands scrambling at where Dean had a hold of him.

"NOOO!"

Dean wrapped his arms around Sam as the boy tried to catapult himself from the bed.

"Sam, it's me, Dean."

Sam was still struggling, tears pouring down his face.

"Please, don't, stop!"

"Sam!" Dean said a little louder, firmly grasping Sam's head with one hand and tilting it so he was looking at him.

"It's me, you're safe, you're fine."

Sam's eyes focused and became aware, locking onto Dean's.

"Dean?" Sam whispered.

Dean nodded. "One and only." He joked softly.

Sam's face crumpled and he buried his head against Dean, sobs taking hold. Dean couldn't really understand what Sam was sobbing out, only catching a few words, things like 'sorry' and 'scared'. Dean froze at first, body stiff as Sam garnered comfort from just his presence, he unfroze slowly, not thinking about what he was really doing and then looped his arms around Sam.

He didn't really think about it, one hand rubbing Sam's back comfortingly while he whispered short, meaningless, but comforting words. It took several minutes but Sam calmed down enough to lean back and away from Dean. His eyes were cast down in shame and Dean could already see him starting to curl away.

Again Dean wasn't sure what he should do, he hesitated and Sam was sliding off the bed, scurrying away to the bathroom. Dean frowned. His dad had never comforted him like that, tears were a private weakness, you didn't comfort and you most definitely didn't acknowledge it. Dean's mind tumbled in dissonance of what he'd been taught and what he felt inside. He wanted to comfort Sam, dry tears and fears, be the comforting bulwark in a way that his father had never been able to be for him.

Dean gulped, his own eyes watering painfully. He cursed and scrubbed his face with his hand, breathing in deep to gain control of his emotions. His breathing and throat loose again he stood up, intent on going back to bed when the sound of crying coming from the bathroom made him stop.

Dean opened the bathroom door, apparently Sam had forgotten to lock the door. Sam was seated in the corner of the bathroom, bawling into his hands with his knees drawn up to his chest.

This wasn't Dean's forte, hell it wasn't even something he was remotely experienced with. Comfort, cuddling and sickening emotional chick flicks. Dean let out a reinforcing huff and sank to the floor next to Sam. He wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders and pulled him against his side.

Sam resisted for a moment and then melted against Dean.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Sam's sobs had died to hiccups. Dean was horrified when Sam shook his head yes. Dean was terrified he was going to screw this whole emotional thing up.

"You-yo-" Sam hiccuped.

"Died, I couldn't save you." Sam managed to get out.

Dean frowned.

"You left, they were there and they kept hitting and hitting." Sam's voice fluctuated, voice growing in agitation before it cut off with the beginning of another sob.

Dean had a feeling that 'they' were the bullies Sam had barely mentioned before.

"You're not- you won't leave? No one's wanted me before, no one's kept me."

Dean was stunned, despite John's awful and borderline abusive (due to negligence) parenting, which wasn't exactly enviable, his dad had always been present, at least physically that is, and Dean had known he wouldn't be abandoned. He grimaced, until now that was, he thought, mind going back to the empty motel room. Dean managed to respond. "Promised I wouldn't leave, I don't make promises I can't keep."

Sam nodded and Dean coaxed him back to bed, making sure the covers were tucked around Sam before the kid fell asleep.

He himself sank back into his own bed, absentmindedly glancing at the clock. It was 3:49 AM. The experience allowed his mind to wander in places it hadn't been in a long time, wondering about the own possibilities of his childhood, the long forgotten desire to be comforted as a child with gentle hands and kind words. Him and Sam weren't that different, Dean though had the chance to rectify the lack in Sam's life, and the chance to confront his own inner demons. Sam was giving him a strength of purpose he had never had, one which his dad had forgotten and one which he wanted to fulfill.

Next Episode: Phantom Traveller