Why does no one ever write anything related to Alex's and Karen Parker's relationship? I have an unnecessary amount of unhealthy feels for that ship so now you all must suffer with me.
Sundays were Alex's one day off, and that was by his own choice. Alex didn't know how to really relax, to just want to sit around and do nothing. It felt like a waste of time when he could so many more things. Sundays were laundry day, and grocery day (not at his store, god fucking forbid he found himself walking into work for food on a Sunday), and cleaning day. And sleeping day, he lived for sleeping day. The one day a week he could totally sleep for twenty-fours straight, the moment he got home from the night shift Sunday morning, to the morning shift on Monday morning.
This particular sunday, he dug up one of his nicer shirts, not too casual but not too formal, and biked himself to a small restaurant just down the road. He hadn't gone out to eat in, probably forever. Alex was very careful about what he spent his money on, and only two people in the world ever convinced him to splurge a little every now and again. And he was meeting one of them for lunch.
He met up with Karen at this little Mexican place just down the road. She cut her hair. It was shorter, more professional, it looked good on her. Alex told her as much when he wrapped her up in a hug when she arrived. And she just laughed at him, and reached up to play with a wayward curl on his own head.
"You could probably do with a cut yourself" Karen teased at him.
They used to date, once upon a time. Back in college, when the only things they had to worry about were acing tests, and having enough money for Chinese food, and trying not to laugh about the Bubonic Plague at three in the morning. Simpler times, before crippling student loans and trying to find people who'll hire them in a shit-tastic recession. They broke up years ago.
It didn't mean they stopped being friends, though. And it didn't mean Alex still didn't miss her. Their little lunches like these, far and few in between, somehow always went the same way for him. He wouldn't talk much, just listen to her instead. Listen to the sound of her voice, and just watch her talk. He just kinda forgets he's out in public with a burrito hanging out of his mouth and sauce dribbling down his chin. He's focused on her, and only her. She's such a wonderful distraction.
"What about you, Alex?"
"….Huh?"
Oh.
"Alex, you weren't paying attention again, were you?"
"I was listening" Alex insists, picking up a napkin to wipe his face. "What do you want me to tell you? My life is practically uneventful compared to yours"
"Yeah?" Karen quirks a brow at him, tucking a hand underneath her chin. "Enlighten me anyway""
And it's probably the most he's talked in about two weeks. No one coaxes pointless conversation out of him than Karen. At work it's just "Hello, can i help you with something?", and "Need anything?", or "Have a nice day", then maybe "Do you need help with that to your car?". That's just only to customers, Alex rarely interacts with his own co-workers. To his own landlord, it's just "I get payed on Friday, I'll have rent in then".
But Karen? He could spend forever talking to Karen. Catching up on each other's lives eventually turns into just wild and random stories about whatever, or heated debates on the newest discoveries science had been making, or what new thing they were trying at the pharmaceutical company Karen worked at.
All too soon, their plates are cleared and they have to leave to avoid loitering any longer than may have already. Alex almost doesn't wanna say goodbye. It's like in one moment, he hates his apartment. He hates the idea of going back to a square box with next to nothing in it. But he lets her go, but not without one less embrace before it's another couple weeks before he sees her again.
"You be good, Alex" Karen says to him before she goes. "Please take care of yourself" and she kisses his cheek.
"No promises"
x-X-X-x
You're so pathetically alone, you know that?
To quote old movies, she was the greatest good you ever had.
Why do you even bother?
You're gonna miss her for the rest of your pitiful life.
She'd never get back together with you, no matter how rich you suddenly become one day.
You're nothing.
x-X-X-x
It takes a couple days to set in, but it came and it sucked. And everyone knew it. For as little as he talked to them, Alex's co-workers knew how he worked by now. They were knew when to really avoid him, when his face is blank and he's stumbling around the store in a haze. When the dark rings around his eyes become darker, and he's getting thin again.
Somehow there's always coffee in the break room. The very presence of that coffee is enough to invoke some emotion, extreme annoyance. The first time he sees it in the morning, Alex just scowls at the pot and stomps away. The second time he sees it, he's growling at it like much like Zeus does towards shih tzus. The third time he sees it, he finally retaliates and pours himself a cup, just to get rid of it so he doesn't have to look at it anymore. And then he's back to being a zombie with a mop.
Alex feels like he should be grateful towards his co-workers for looking out for him. But on these days, they avoid him like he has two heads. Or they'll be jittery around him as if he'll suddenly spout claws and disembowel them.
You know they're all waiting for it.
The day you snap.
The day you become one of those guys on the news.
They're all scared of you and you know it.
They know you know.
One day his glare will be intense enough to melt down the whole frozen food section. But hopefully that day will be when he's not working here and Heller won't make him clean it all up.
x-X-X-x
"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"
Everyone needs a scapegoat.
"You're the bane of my existence"
You've said worse.
"You're soooo lucky I can't afford pills to shut you out"
I was so paranoid before.
Arguing with himself isn't healthy. Especially out loud, at two in the morning when he's sitting by himself in the wine aisle. But the bottles had heard this argument before. And so has the yogurt. And the lobster tank behind the meats counter. And so has the ice cream, and the ketchup. The magazine racks were due for a good ranting to.
Talking to himself was completely normal by this point. He only did it during the graveyard shift, and Dan and Taylor were on the opposite side of the store from him. Like, they just knew by now when to avoid him because he was having a heated debate about himself, with himself, and with whatever he was just re-stocking as his audience.
God bless Dan and Taylor, though. Those kids didn't mind working with a mentally unbalanced genius.
x-X-X-x
Yes, a genius! He used to have the best grades in school, the absolute best. His work was phenomenal, and everyone in the industry was cramming to get his attention, come work for us, come for us! Then the recession hit and no one could suddenly afford him. And then he couldn't afford life. He just took jobs up wherever he could, and he didn't bother with anything else. The economy got a little better, the field was opening up again…
But by that point, Alex had given up. Sure, there were some jobs opening up in town he easily could have applied for. Then one day, He just popped up in his head and Alex became terrified to even try again.