I am so so sorry that it has taken soooooo long for me to update this fic but I was so focused on Jar of Hearts and then I hit a writers block for a bit , I'm also starting that Enchanted Forest AU fic that I promised forever ago as well as taking a look at my prompt list I have , time for me to get back into my writing. Thank you all for keeping up with me and putting up with my horrible wait for updates , seeing I'm back in the groove or writing mode updates and fics should be coming more often now and not take forever in between.

Disclaimer : I do NOT own OUAT or any of the characters.

Here we go ! Enjoy

R&R

As she leaves the Sheriff's station and gets into her car the reality sinks in, the realness of the situation hits her, she hadn't spoken to Robin before this, she hadn't ended things with him yet, she'd cheated on him. Did she regret it? No, she just wished the timing was different, or that she wouldn't have to now figure out how and when to have this conversation with him. She rests her head against the steering wheel, and just hoped that things wouldn't blow up in her face.

… some time later …

Brunch with her parents had been dull and uneventful, she'd been mulling over thoughts the entire time and therefore been quiet, barely touched her food, and the worst part was her parents had noticed.

"Emma is something troubling you? Worrying you?" her Mother had asked.

"Just lot on my mind, I'll figure it out though," she sighs and pushes a fry around her plate with another.

"If you need to talk you know we're here," she nods, she knows but how does one tell their Mother, 'well I had sex with your ex step mother and want a relationship with her'. Sure Regina had changed, sure Mary Margaret had been accepting of that, had accepted her into their little family, but this was a whole new level. On top of that she knew she'd get the look if not a speech to follow about how Regina was with Robin, and it wasn't exactly her place to tell that the brunette was going to be ending things or so she hoped that was her intentions.

And then from there her thoughts had just spiraled down and by the time the bill came the Sheriff was more than ready to run, literally and figuratively.

And run she had, which is how she'd somehow ended up at 108.

She stared at the walkway and debated what to do, it was long before seven, the time she'd told the Mayor she'd be over. What she needed to do as of right now was go back to the flat and see if Henry was up, perhaps if Henry was up they could do something for the rest of the day until she had to return him to the mansion she now stood in front of. Then she'd have some time to herself in which she had no idea what she'd even do. She was already being bombarded with non stop thoughts, worries, anxieties, and everything else to do with this situation.

What if Regina and Robin made up somehow, feelings changed, people said things they didn't truly mean, she groans and drops her head diverting her gaze down to her feet. She hadn't noticed she was shuffling on them, back and forth until she saw the motion herself, she stops herself and turns, beginning the journey back towards her flat, she'd get the bug from the station later, she and Henry could walk to get it before he was due back home.

All the years of being bounced around, the feeling of being unwanted, abandoned, lied to, everything floods back to her now and it's merciless, this is part of why she's always been a loner, especially ever since Neal. He'd been the first person in so long that she'd let in and that had ended far from well she'd say. She and Regina were close, good friends, they'd worked their way to that slowly but surely, they'd had their fair share of fights and disagreements even after they'd stopped fighting over and about Henry, after the curse had broken, yet any tension between them always worked itself out. She doesn't want what happened to ruin this, to destroy what had taken so long to achieve, but she knows that if things go sour between them or even with this talk with Robin she may have just lost her closest and dearest friend.

'Great job Swan,' she thinks to herself as she makes it to the door of the flat, 'just had to go and ruin another good thing, couldn't have left well enough alone?' she kicks herself in the rear, she squeezes her eyes shut trying to drown out the negative thoughts, trying to push them from her mind, she's just being overly pessimistic, the anxiety is taking over, she knows this. A deep breath in, she holds it for a count to five and then releases it slowly before fumbling for her key, perhaps she should just lay down and try to sleep, overthinking drains her as well as the panic and well she had run from Granny's to the mansion to then walk home.

Her feet drag across the threshold, she hears the shower running, Henry's up she supposes, she grabs her wallet out of her back jean pocket as she kicks the door closed, she pulls out a twenty and places it on the kitchen islander.

"Hey kid! I'm home," her voice slightly raised so that he can hear over the spray.

"Hey Ma! Can I go to the arcade?" he yells back.

She chuckles looking at the twenty she'd placed down and pulls a ten out as well, he'll want food besides the games she's sure, he is so her kid in that way, gaming goes with food no if's and's or but's.

"Money's on the islander, I'm going back to sleep but I'll leave my phone on do not disturb so you or your Mom can reach me, call her and let her know where you'll be, and take your key"

"Thanks Ma! I will," she hears the water being cut off suddenly and shakes her head, she didn't know how long he'd been up or how recently he'd gotten into the shower but she knew he could've been in there for all of two minutes and still would be getting out right now.

"Be back in," she glances at the microwave clock, it's just after eleven, "three hours tops, we've got to be at your Mom's by three, call me when you're on your way home to see if I'm up again," she sees a flash of brown hair and a blue towel rush out of the bathroom nodding.

"Got it," she makes her way to the couch and collapses onto it, her eyelids heavy and close almost instantly, sleep overtakes within seconds, her body and mind exhausted.

She falls into a dreamless sleep, meanwhile at the mansion…

"Regina I don't understand, first you want to see me then you're brief with me on the phone and going back to sleep, not even an hour later you call me to come over, what is going on?" he's barely stepped through the door and already the questions have started. She grips the glass of cider in her hand a bit tighter than she would normally.

"Robin, come in and sit, I'll explain everything, it's about time we talked about it all any way," she sighs and takes a sip, she hasn't even poured a full glass, she simply needs something to take the edge off of this anxiety to gather herself together and just get out what she needs to, say what she needs to say. She can't be with him after what's happened, whether or not the feelings she'd once had for him had still been present or not, she'd been unfaithful there was no way around that. She'd cheated, slept with someone else, she should've stopped it all when she'd had a chance and told the Sheriff that she needed to talk to Robin and break things off before they went anything farther than the kiss, even that shouldn't have happened.

"No I need to know who is he?" she chokes slightly on the sip she'd just taken.

"What do you mean?" she shoots back, had he suspected she was cheating, had he suspected there was someone else for some time now? It was only recently that they'd been growing apart, and for him to just jump to the conclusion that it meant there was someone else in her life she was interested in was somewhat hurtful, did he not think that highly of her? She already felt guilt about the situation, she didn't regret it, it had been beautiful moments shared between her and Emma and if she was honest with herself it had only been a matter of time before one of them had made the first move either way, they just had both been in denial of feelings and attraction for so long, throw into the mix one Robin of Loxley and here they were now.

"I mean who is it that you have been seeing on the side Regina, I see they finally made their mark visible so I can only assume that this is our end, that you wish to be with someone else, with the other man," the Mayor nearly drops the glass in her hand, how could she have been so stupid, so careless not to check herself before asking him over, she glances to the mirror above the bureau against the wall to her right, deep purple bruises trail from her neck down her throat disappearing below her shirt over the swell of her breasts.

She let's out a sigh and suddenly she can't look him in the face, can't make eye contact, "Robin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this, but I swear to you today was the first time, I was only with you before today, I should've stopped it until we talked, it wasn't fair to you, I-," and she's cut off.

"Oh cut the bullshit Regina, extra office hours, never being in the mood, what was all that, were you just unhappy with me for that long?"

Her mouth opens and closes, no words come out, either answer hurts him she knows it, the truth or the lie to suit his little story of it he's created in his mind for the last few weeks.

"Why?"

And one word, one small word, three letters, one syllable, cuts through her cold as ice.

"I should've realized what it was weeks ago, but I didn't, or perhaps I didn't want to, you're my soul mate, or so that's what I was lead to believe, what I wanted to believe, but I suppose it would've worked long ago, perhaps back home, before any of this mess, before I became Queen, back when I still had a chance at being good," she sets the glass down and drops to the sofa.

"You are good, you've changed, but I don't want you being with me because of what some fairy told you, I wanted to be your choice as you were mine," and another stab through the heart. She knows she doesn't love him but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, she had chose him, regardless of what Tink had told her all those years ago, all the knowledge had done was show her she still had her chance at a happy ending, the one she'd given up at that time.

"You were my choice, I just, things changed, I'm sorry, I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose Roland, I want to keep you both in my life, but just not in the way it has been any longer," he sighs.

"I don't know that we can still be a part of your life right away, because this," he throws his hands up, "This is a lot to just take in, as I said I should've perhaps brought it up awhile ago or you should have, the changes that we saw, but we didn't and now here we are, at least tell me one thing."

"Anything?"

"Does he make you happy?" she looks up at him, their eyes connect.

"Yes she does," she simply states.

His mouth drops open, "Did you say she?"

She nods.

"Well I didn't expect that," he shakes his head and turns back towards the door, "I'll see you around Regina."

And then she's left alone only the sound of the door closing disturbing the deafening silence. And in that next moment she's breaking, she's crying, she didn't want it to end like this, she hadn't wanted to lose him entirely, she knew what 'see you around' meant. He was gone, Roland was gone, he didn't have a reason to stay in Storybrooke, whether he wanted to go and take up refuge with his men in the forest of just leave the town entirely. She knew she was a main reason as to why he'd stayed.

She let's the tears fall, doesn't hold them back.

She looks around for her phone, she needs Emma now, she locates it and presses on the call button, not caring that she's still crying heavily.

Emma jerks awake to the sound of her phone going on, she fumbles for it and suddenly she's awake and alert as she sees the contact name and picture on her screen 'Regina Mills'. She swipes to answer.

"Regina, are you okay? Is the kid okay?"

"I need you now," her voice shakes slightly as she tries to keep the tears out of it.

"I'm coming," the blonde stands and starts looking for her shoes wherever she had flung them earlier, "Just got to get shoes on and I'll be there," she manages one shoe and gets it on without problem while still holding the phone to her ear, its pair on the other hand, "Oomff."

"Emma?!"

"Fine, fine just fell over, shoes one handed are no joke," the brunette chuckles at that.

"Duly noted dear," her mood already lifted because of Emma being her naturally clumsy self.

"Alright I'm ready," and just as she's about to reach the door she's suddenly no longer at her flat, olive arms wrap around her waist and a brunette head buries itself in her chest. "Regina, what happened?" she's concerned, worried, it's not like the Mayor to seem so small.

"He knows," her voice is muffled.

"Oh, how'd he-" she let's her question trail off, of course he hadn't taken it well who would, to have your soul mate come to you and tell you they wanted to pursue another, had she told him that they'd slept together as well? Suddenly Emma begins to panic slightly, she keeps it inside for now.

"He saw the bruises," she pulls back still keeping her arms around the blonde's waist, but changing position so she can look into emerald orbs, "Asked me who he was, he was rather shocked it was a she, I didn't tell him it was you but I'm sure once I said she he figured that out as well, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, shhh," she pulls the brunette back into her arms running a hand through dark locks in a sooting way, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done what I did, I should've waited, I knew you had someone," she feels the head nuzzled in the crook of her neck shake side to side.

"No, it takes two, I am just as at fault as you are if not more, I shouldn't have started something I couldn't finish, shouldn't have complicated things, but I meant it what I said to you Emma, I do want to explore this, but I'm going to need some time," she pulls away entirely now and the blonde feels the chill of the air instantly, the sudden loss of the warmth.

"Regina, what do you mean?" the phrase 'need some time' was running through her mind on repeat right now, was it all over, was this it?

oh yes I am that evil to leave another cliff after so long, sorrrrrrrrrry haha, next update will happen sooner as I've already started writing it, so R&R again sorry for the update taking so long.