(First off, I want to warn my GOTHAM readers that this story may be drifting away from how the show portrays the characters. It is really hard for me to write oneshots that take place in one time period while the rest of the show moves on and develops the characters in their own way. I have been trying to keep the characters as in character with the show as possible, but I still want to develop the characters in my own way. So, as a heads-up, this story may become more out of character as the show moves on.
The goal of these oneshots are to build Bruce Wayne up to Batman as he learns the tips and tricks of the street, and for Selina to remain tough, but learn to care more about others. I.e, the characters learn and balance out each other, but this happens through simple everyday actions and adventures. I've heard a rumor that the show is going to start developing Bruce's character more in the coming spring, so this puts even more pressure on me as I try to keep the characters relatively in character to the show while still trying to expand on them. [I have one beta reader for my Gotham stories, and she has read and reviewed all of my stories before I publish them. She does not know that much about Batman, so if she doesn't understand something, or if things are out of character, then I know that I need to change the work. She did mention this oneshot was a little out of character, but I don't know how to fix it without taking away all the action. ]
Second off, I really want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed and favorited this. I want to thank Shian1998 and castielholmeshasthephonebox especially for the support. You two are awesome, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Thank you for reviewing every one of my Gotham stories, especially the ones I feel weird about.
Thirdly, this story itself has over 1,000 views and is already in a community after only two chapters, and it's less than 6,000 words. That blows my mind! Thank you to everyone that has given this rarely updated fic a chance!
Now that I'm done ranting, let's start this gosh darn chapter already!)
Disclaimer: I do not own GOTHAM or any of its characters. Cue obligatory "I'm not dead" scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" as a reminder that I am still alive.
Pop Some Tags
"Selina, do you really think it's safe to go in there?"
Selina rolled her eyes and grabbed Bruce's arm. The Rich Rat dug his feet into the ground and pulled her back. "Selina, I do not want to go into that place."
Selina suddenly threw herself behind Bruce and pushed him forward. "Come on Bruce, Walmart won't kill you."
Bruce looked at the store with fear in his eyes. "But-"
Selina was just about ready to plant her foot up his butt. How could Bruce be so adamant about not buying things from Walmart? "Seriously, walk into the store. You need to get out more, and you need to know that there are some places that don't sell things with a minimum thousand-dollar price tag."
Bruce bit his bottom lip, but stepped into the Walmart. Good thing too. In another few seconds, Selina would have left a dent in the Prince of Gotham's behind.
The doors swished open for them, and from where they stood at the entrance they could see at least a hundred people milling around the selves. The majority of the people were wearing ratty clothing and half looked as if they hadn't showered in a week. Few people there wore average clothes, and even the employees looked a little underdressed.
Selina looked over at Bruce. Bruce was pale, and his face showed genuine fear. He crossed his arms over his chest, as if someone was going to run up and mug him where he stood.
What a baby.
Selina rolled her eyes and grabbed his upper arm. She started to drag Bruce to the clothes section. "Come on, Rich Rat. We have to get the both of us some new clothes. You remember what we had to do with our old clothes after that heist last week!"
Bruce grunted but said nothing. His eyes darted around, staring at every human that came close to them. He looked like a scared rabbit.
He was going to have to get over it. Selina wouldn't mind if she went shopping at the places Bruce was used to, but then she would just be depending on Bruce to buy things for her. He had to learn that if he was going to "get a better understanding of criminals" he was going to have to learn to live like them. And that meant shopping where the majority of Gotham's street criminals could afford to shop at.
She sighed and yanked him over to a rack of dark colored clothes. As a thief, she needed some clothes that helped her blend in with darker surroundings, and sometimes she found some really stylish black tops at this store. She flipped through the racks, finding a few that caught her interest, but didn't really seem efficient or practical.
Bruce stood next to her, rocking on the balls of his feet. His eyes were still wide, and he looked ready to bolt out of the store at the drop of a hat. Selina paused for a moment and turned to him.
"Bruce," she started, trying to be patient. Sometimes Bruce just refused to get used to his surroundings, and that was the biggest and most basic thing every Street Rat knew how to do in Gotham. If he didn't learn how to do it, he'd be back holed up in his fancy house before the end of the week. "I know that you're uneasy in here, but you have to get over it. People aren't blessed like you, and to some people, like me, this is a luxury store to shop in."
Bruce's eyes widened. "It's really that bad in Gotham?"
Selina gave him a sarcastic look. "I live by stealing whatever I can get my hands on, where I sometimes risk my life to get enough money for a hot meal. Does that sound like the perfect life?"
Bruce stared at his feet for a moment. "I need to donate more of my money Selina." He raised his head and Selina could see the determination in his eyes. "I need to-"
Selina interrupted him. "Bruce, money won't fix Gotham. You could bankrupt yourself trying to help everyone afford basic necessities, but it still wouldn't have a lasting effect." She turned away from the racks and looked him straight in the eyes. "If money could fix everything in a split second, then there wouldn't be a single problem in the world."
Bruce fell silent as Selina went back to searching the racks. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a voice behind him. "Mr. Bruce Wayne?"
Bruce darted behind Selina. Selina turned toward the voice and found that it belonged to a small, older man. The man was hunched over and his hair was completely gray with age. He had a few wrinkles on his forehead, and his casual clothes were just as wrinkled as his face. His eyes were squinty, and he gave a person the impression that he was about to go visit his wonderful, little grandchildren. Hm, not bad, but not good enough for Selina to miss it.
The old man smiled warmly. "Ah, it is you, Mr. Wayne. My name is Gus Wainright, and it is an honor to meet you." The man held out his hand.
Bruce relaxed and made to shake the man's hand. Selina grabbed his arm in an iron grip and forced it back to his side. She cleared her throat and whispered into Bruce's ear. "Just say you're also pleased to meet him."
Bruce put on that dorky (and kind of cute), confused look, but backed down and listened to Selina. He cleared his throat but kept his arm at his side. "It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Wainright. How are you this fine day?"
Ugh, Bruce was too polite for his own good, and the Street Rats could tell it from a mile away. Selina watched as the man pulled back his hand. "Fine Mr. Wayne," he said, shooting Selina a glare that Bruce didn't catch, "I must say, it is quite odd to find a person like you shopping here. Any reason as to why?"
Bruce nodded toward Selina. "I'm with her shopping for some new street clothes. What are you here for?"
The old man looked down at Bruce's hands. "Oh, you know, just browsing the aisles. I'm trying to find the perfect gift for my grandson, Timothy. He's turning six today, and unfortunately I forgot to get him a gift, so I need to do it now before the birthday party this afternoon." He fidgeted and rubbed his hands together in worry. "Oh, I don't know if I have enough money to pay for a nice gift for him!"
Bruce gave the man a pitying look. Selina knew exactly what Bruce was about to do, so she pinched his arm as hard as she could.
Bruce's mouth opened in a silent scream of pain as Selina spoke up. "Glad to know little Timmy is doing great Mr. Wainright," she said, "now beat it. We've got some shopping to do and we don't deal with scum like you."
The old man's face fell, and he looked like he was about to cry. Bruce glared at Selina, almost furious at the way she treated the old man. Oh boy, she needed to bring him up to speed.
The man raised his hand toward Bruce, apparently not ready to give up his prize just yet. "But, miss, my Timothy-"
Selina pushed herself forward to make it look like she was going to attack the old man. She gave a loud hiss and made to grab at the old man's throat.
The old man turned around and bolted for the exit.
Selina drew back and found Bruce glaring furiously at her. "How could you do that to an old man, Selina?!" Bruce cried, throwing his arms up in frustration.
She held out her hand. "Bruce, shake my hand."
Bruce held out his hand to shake hers, but in a second, she had both hands clasped around his, completely encasing his hand. Selina put on a desperate yet thankful look as she vigorously shook his hand. "Oh, Mr. Wayne, it is an honor to meet you! I can't wait to tell my starving grandchildren that I actually met you!" She pulled her hands back, slightly squeezing Bruce's hand between hers as they slid off of Bruce's hand.
Bruce stared at his hand before finally getting it. "Wait a minute, you rubbed down my hand down as you drew back-"
"-And any jewelry on your fingers would have been in my pocket before you realized it," Selina finished. "It's called the Rich Rat Rob here in Gotham's underworld, and it's the oldest trick in the thief's handbook. Works on Rich Rat women that change their jewelry so often they can't remember the weight they put on their finger." She pulled Bruce's hand to her body and exposed his wrist. She drew along his wrist as she explained. "It also comes in many variations. If you hid a knife in your sleeve, you have a small chance to nick the artery in the wrist and get the jump on someone. That version is called the Nick Pick." She dropped his hand.
Bruce still looked confused. "But why would he try that if I didn't have anything on my fingers? And how could you tell he was fake?"
Selina rolled her eyes and went back to flipping through dark shirts. Hm, that gray one would go nice with her jacket and it was getting chilly out… "First, some Rich Rat men keep watches hidden under their sleeves. It's a bigger risk than a naïve woman, but sometimes the watches could sell for more on the High Black Market, as male kingpins want something to show off their power and they'll pay extra for something stolen from a Rich Rat." She pulled out a dark gray shirt that had a few ruffles on the front of it and held it against her chest. "Would this look good if I'm going to an Auction in the High Black Market?"
Bruce narrowed his eyes in confusion, but nodded. "Uh, yes, the shirt looks good on you." Selina draped the article over her arm as Bruce continued. "What about knowing he was a fake?"
She took one last look at the dark shirts and then moved the both of them over to a different set of clothing. Vibrant greens and baby blues rested nicely on their hangers. Selina started to flip through them. Ivy needed some shirts that actually fit her.
"The second one is easy. First off, his hands didn't shake. When you see an old person, their hands usually shake. Not to mention, that hunch was forced and down too low to be normal."
Bruce was silent as Selina continued to explain. "He stared at your hands, hoping he could do the Rich Rat Rob, and he also played the grandchildren's party card. That's another good ploy that works on Rich Rat women. Makes them think that if they give you a hundred-dollar bill, you'll get your grandchild the best birthday present ever." She paused for a moment to eye a pretty sky blue tunic, but went back to flipping through the racks. "His hair was actually gray, but the wrinkles were made up to make him look older. Another thing was that his voice wasn't scratchy or warbly enough. After living a lifetime of talking to thousands of people and breathing in smog from the cars, you'd think that the guy would have some problems speaking." She pulled out a pale green shirt with pockets on the sides of it. Weird design, but pretty practical for Ivy, who had a habit of collecting any new plant seeds she found.
"Lastly," Selina said as she laid the article over the grey shirt, "to confirm all my suspicions, he ran faster than any older person could manage. Now-" Selina nodded toward the men's clothing aisle "-grab a shirt and a pair of pants. I'm going to browse the aisles and see if we can get any good deals on stuff for our apartment."
She left Bruce standing there before he could say another word. She sighed as she pushed past a woman that looked like she was part of the homeless sector. Hopefully Bruce could shop on his own and not get the clothes robbed off his body.
A half an hour later, Selina headed over to the men's aisle. She pulled her jacket closer to her body and shuffled the clothes around on her arm. She eyed the people around her and caught some of them who had the same idea as she did. That was pretty cool; it was nice not being the only one.
She tried to look for Bruce's ruffled hair (he had long since given up gelling it back, it would just get messy and dirty while on the street), but couldn't find him.
"Selina!"
Selina whirled around, ready to smack the crap out of the person that snuck up on her, but found Bruce staring at her with his arms full of books. She wrestled her breathing back under control and glared at the Rich Rat. "Bruce, don't sneak up on me! You're lucky I didn't poke your eye out with the hanger!"
Bruce drew back in fear. He cleared his throat and lifted the stack of books in his hands. "Selina, I know that I did not bring my debit card, but can we get these books? Please?" He gave her the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster.
Was the world's richest kid really begging for her to pay for what looked like trashy romance novels? Selina sighed. "No Bruce, we're not getting the books."
Bruce pouted. "But Selina, these books are so cheap they're practically for free! Please, can we get them?!" He turned up the intensity of his kicked puppy dog look.
Selina narrowed her eyes. "Why do you need trashy romance novels, Bruce?"
Bruce blushed a little and cleared his throat. "I'm doing this for research purposes." Selina gave him a pointed look. Bruce avoided her eyes. "Strictly research purposes," Bruce repeated.
Selina grabbed some of the books out of his hands and glanced at the titles. God, these titles were so cheesy and cliché she was ready to buy some wine and bread. No wonder the books were so cheap. She still shook her head. "Bruce, you don't need these books. The Internet is there for free, and there's a lovely little library that has wonderful Wi-Fi connection. Put these back."
Bruce stuck out his lip in protest and Selina heard the slight tap of his heel clicking against the ground. Wow, was the Bruce Wayne really throwing a mini temper-tantrum in the middle of a Walmart?
The questions that no one would ever think of.
Selina rolled her eyes and shook her head. She turned her back to Bruce and headed for the checkout. "No means no Bruce. Put the books back and we'll go."
"But-" Bruce followed her as the both of them headed through the toys section. Selina stopped dead in front of him, and Bruce almost crashed into her. The curly-haired girl turned around slowly.
"No," she said simply.
Bruce seemed to deflate where he stood. He looked longingly at the books in his arms before sighing and dropping the stack of books onto a nearby shelf. Selina closed her eyes, took a deep breath to get rid of any annoyance, and turned back around. She shuffled the clothes in her arm and started towards the checkout station.
She had only taken five steps when something clamped down on the top of her head. Selina froze for a moment, hoping the headpiece wasn't going to blow up or something crazy like that. She heard footsteps thundering away from her, and that's when she realized that the headpiece was one of those animal-eared headbands. She just couldn't see what it looked like.
If Bruce was running away from her, it was probably bad.
She grabbed a toy mirror off one of the higher shelves and glanced into it. The homeless woman next to Selina stared at her and gave her a confused expression.
Bruce had clamped a Hello Kitty pink-and-white headband onto her head. Well, she was obviously hallucinating. Bruce would only do that if he was suicidal.
Selina turned to the woman next to her. "Excuse me," she asked in her nicest tone of voice, "is there a pink-and-white, Hello Kitty eared headband on my head?"
The woman's confused look only deepened. "You blind girl? 'Course there's a whatchamajiger kitty thing on yur head."
Selina whirled around and saw Bruce peeking his scared face out from behind the end of the toy section. He paled as Selina put on a murderous look that would have had Gordon thinking twice.
"Ah hell no," Selina said, almost whispering the words. She threw down the small bundle of clothes and grabbed the closest thing on the shelf, another one of those animal headbands, and took a step towards Bruce. "You're dead, Bruce Wayne!"
Bruce took off faster than a bat out of hell.
Selina tore after him, her years on the streets easily helping her catch up to boy billionaire. The two of them raced around an aisle, and thundered through into the men's clothing section. Bruce chanced a look behind him, and panicked when he saw Selina catching up to him.
Bruce grabbed a clothing rack and shoved the rack to the ground behind him. Selina leaped over it with ease, barely breaking her speed. Bruce zigzagged around the clothing racks, dodging people and hoping the zig-zag pattern would slow Selina down.
Selina pushed people to the floor as she tore after Bruce. A growl came from Selina's mouth. She was going to get that Rich Rat if it was the last thing she would ever do.
Bruce dove into the cleaning supplies section. A crazy idea popped into his head, and he followed it without thinking. He grabbed a broom off one of the shelves, darted back around the end of the aisle, and bolted for the front of the store.
Selina narrowed down her vision and put a tunnel-vision on Bruce as she thundered after him. Suddenly, a cart slid in front of her, and she screeched to a halt.
A little boy no more than seven, with dirty brown hair and ratty clothing, pulled the cart back toward him. "Sorry, kitty lady, I was just pushing the cart back-and-forth, waiting for my mom. I didn't mean to trip you up." Based on the kid's apologetic expression, the kid wasn't lying.
Selina took closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could be pleasant to others, no matter how much she wanted to wring a certain Rich Rat's neck. "It's fine," she said, forcing down her anger. She looked wildly around the store, her eyes scanning for where Bruce went.
The kid looked at the animal ears in her hand. "Who's that for? That for that guy who was runnin' fast?"
"Yeah," Selina confirmed as she stood on her toes. Where the hell was that Rich Rat? He was never this hard to find!
The kid looked in the direction she was looking in. "Um, I don't know if this helps, but he looked like he was running to the front of the store."
Selina smiled at the child. He was a smart cookie. "Thanks kid. That guy put this stupid thing on my head, and now I'm off to get revenge." She fished around in one of the full pockets on her jacket and pulled out two dollars. She handed them to the kid. "Here, take these and buy yourself something nice."
The boy shook his head. "Sorry cat lady, but my mom says never to take things from strangers, even money."
A smart cookie with a smart mom. Selina could respect that, more money for her in the end. She shoved the money back into the pocket and shrugged. "Okay then, well, have fun waiting for your mom," she said as she headed for the front of the store.
The kid waved at her back. "Bye cat lady!"
Selina walked calmly to the front of the store, a plan already forming in her mind. She could keep running until Bruce tired himself out, but she would risk tiring herself out in the process. She had to get Bruce close to her, that was the best way to get revenge without draining herself in the process.
She saw Bruce staring at her, a shopping cart on his right that pointed back towards where she came from and a broom in his left hand. He had a serious expression on his face, looking ready to negotiate a deal with the most prestigious men and women in the world.
Yeah, negotiation wasn't going to happen. She was going to shove the bat-eared (weird for a kid's headband, but she supposed that there were some weird kids that wanted to wear bat-ears) headband right up his-
"Selina." Bruce nodded and put on his upper-crust attitude. He gripped onto the shopping cart like his life depended on it. He nervously cleared his throat. "I am sorry for the way I acted. I let my anger control me. Now, I'm sure we could work this out in some way…"
Selina gave a forced, evil smile and Bruce lost more color from his face. "Bruce," she said, making her words sweeter than vanilla ice cream, "you're not going to escape me." She took a few steps closer to Bruce as she spoke. A few people watched as Selina made her way to a pale-looking Bruce Wayne. "You are going to wear this ugly bat-eared headband through the store and you are going to feel the humiliation of having everyone see you wear something stupid. Now," she was a few feet away from him, "get over here and-"
Bruce's next move threw her completely off guard. He took off like lightning and ran back towards the middle of the store, pushing the shopping cart in front of him. Rows of people split like the Red Sea as they watched a panicked Bruce Wayne with a shopping cart and a broom run past them.
Selina rushed after Bruce, and smiled as she saw him slow down slightly. She closed in the distance between them as they rounded the corner of the Fruits and Vegetables section, and she heard Bruce breathing heavily.
She pushed herself closer to her target until she could reach out and grab his back. She grinned as she clamped the bat-eared headband onto Bruce's head.
Bruce barely noticed the weight on his head. He felt Selina close in the distance between them, until he could feel her breath on his neck. He closed his eyes for a split second, sent a quick prayer to the Heavens above, and enacted his plan.
He pushed himself past his limit for a few seconds before throwing himself into the shopping cart. The distance between him and Selina widened, and Bruce gave a loopy grin. He was still out of breath from all the running.
Selina watched as Bruce threw himself into a cart and smile at her. He slammed the tip of the broom against the ground and propelled himself forward. Selina stopped and grinned at Bruce. This was a big store, but it was obvious Bruce didn't remember the path in front of his cart, and he wasn't going to look forward anytime soon.
Bruce shakily stood up in the cart, keeping mind of his balance and center of gravity. He pushed the tip against the ground again and felt the cart speed up a little.
People looked at the boy billionaire as he stretched out his arms and cheered his supposed victory of escaping Selina. Bruce looked at the shocked faces of the people and felt a thrill rush through him. He had never felt this alive before. He had shocked the onlookers, he had escaped Selina, and his on-the-spot plan had worked. He gave a shout of triumph before he noticed a few important details.
Like the fact that Selina had stopped running and had a knowing grin on her face. And that he had forgotten to look forward to see where his cart was heading.
He really couldn't catch a break, could he?
SLAM! The cart came to a sudden stop and Bruce fell backward into an enormous container of fruity energy drinks. He fell through the first layer and gave a small yelp before cans covered his vision. As everything became still, Bruce was suddenly aware that the upper half of his body was covered with cans, and that the lower half of his body was awkwardly shoved forward by the edges of the container. He must have looked like the biggest idiot on the planet.
Knowing everyone and their penchant for slandering the Rich Rats, Bruce's rich "friends" would see his humiliation by tomorrow.
Alfred would never let him live this down.
Bruce saw some of the cans leave his line of sight. Selina picked another can off his face and rolled her eyes. She gave a ghost of a smile as Bruce groaned in pain. "Just a tip, Bruce, you should figure out where you're going before you go."
Bruce groaned in response.
A manager came rushing over as Selina grabbed Bruce's jacket and hauled him out of the energy drinks. Bruce took a few wobbly steps forward as the manager stopped right in front of Selina.
The manager looked ready to breath fire. "What the hell is going on here?!"
Selina put on her best poker face as Bruce struggled to regain his balance. "Nothing much sir, we're just here to shop."
The manager looked shocked. A few people chuckled at the manager's face, and the manager glared at them. He turned back toward Selina. "What kind of shopping was that?!"
Bruce raised his hand to interrupt. "Please sir, this was my fault. I was the one who caused the whole thing." Bruce stood up straight despite the aches all over his body and put on his upper-crust, I-can-fix-this face.
The manager stared at the two teens, one wearing a cat-eared headband and the other wearing a bat-eared headband. He gave an angry sigh before grabbing each of their shoulders. He dragged them off towards the entrance of the store. "You two need to leave right now, and don't bother coming back!"
Bruce tried to protest, but Selina gave him a look that told him that he didn't need to worry. Bruce and Selina didn't protest as the manager stopped them right in front of the entrance, yanked the animal-eared headbands off of their heads, and pushed them out the doors.
Selina and Bruce looked back at the entrance to the store for a moment before turning to each other.
Bruce looked down at the ground. "Selina, I really am sorry for the way I acted. I let my anger control me, and-"
Selina put a hand on his shoulder. "Bruce, don't worry about it. I let my anger get the best of me as well. It's just a single Walmart out of the dozens in Gotham. It's no big deal."
They turned away and walked in silence for a few minutes before Bruce spoke up. "How many things did you steal Selina?" he asked, knowing the girl would've been mad if she had gotten nothing out of the shopping trip.
Selina continued to walk and look straight ahead. She opened her jacket slightly to show Bruce the full pockets on the inside of her jacket. "A few small bars of soap, travel toothpaste, a small bottle of lotion, two nail clippers, three bottles of nail polish, tweezers, a pack of bobby pins, and a few bottles of travel shampoo and conditioner."
They continued walking for a moment before Selina stopped them. She turned to Bruce and sighed. "Well, I got twenty dollars in my left front pocket, want to go check out what Goodwill has?"
Bruce grinned as he nodded his head. "And we're getting those animal headbands if they have them."
Selina chuckled as the two of them changed direction and headed for the Gotham Goodwill. "Come on Bruce, let's go pop some tags."
Again, things may get out of character, but I don't like where the show is taking Bruce and Selina right now (hopefully I will warm up as they expand Bruce's story). That's what this fic is for; it's my therapy for any bad character developments, at least for me.
I have noticed, and this does scare me, a huge drop-off of viewers from the first chapter to the second chapter. As in, the first chapter has a little over a thousand views, while the second one is in the mid-300s (from last I checked) . I do not like the huge drop in viewership, so I may move some chapters around and write an intro chapter that helps set the scene a little better than the first one does, or I may rewrite the first chapter altogether. Please, for those that have stuck around this long, write and tell me what might bring more people in.
Now, there are three stories I could do from this point. One is a maybe 3000-word one with Pink's "So What" song in it as Bruce and Selina pull a heist, one where Selina and Bruce visit the High Black Market for Auction Day, and one where a character I haven't written yet (and have not planned to) crashes with the two for a few days and would include a reason as to why Bruce Wayne would want romance novels (spoilers, it's not for the steamy parts). I don't know which one I do yet (or if I'll do a different one entirely), but keep a lookout for those. Or you guys could vote on your favorite idea, I am quite indecisive...
Lastly, make sure to review, favorite, follow, or whatever, and check my bio for upcoming stories and other Gotham stories. Usually I update a section of my bio every week, that way people know that I'm not dead, and what I may be focusing on at the time.
I don't want to go on to long, so I'm going to end it here, even though there is a lot more I want to talk about. Hope you guys have a good day, I'm off to write a long fic for Ratchet and Clank, and then start writing for Steven Universe, because I'm starting to become addicted to the show.
XD