She'd been cheated on by Zig, the person who wanted to be with her since the beginning. The person who had spoken last to Campbell and finalized his decision. After the trolling because of her song and feminist choices led to a terrifying Swatting, she was already in a bad place, then she found out he hooked up with her enemy, Zoe. He cheated on her while she was away trying to pursue her dream, because he was insecure and getting upset because she wasn't answering her phone while away in New York with a friend.

True, Cam would've been worried too, but never would he cheat. Even from where he was, Cam had wanted to scream and tell her the truth, but of course, he couldn't. Her friend Grace, she knew, but didn't say anything either; meaning Maya had gotten angry with her too. Maya'd had her fair share of betrayal and feeling alone, and the loneliness had came back full throttle.

Zig had tried fixing it with dinner when they scheduled to talk, even practically admitted to his best friend that he planned to marry Maya someday, but she didn't show up. Angrily, he'd gone to her house and put blame on her for him cheating, ruined the project she'd been working on.

How dare he say it was her fault too, who says that to someone? Cam had thought angrily. Grace even ended up siding with the jerk, because of her own personal feelings. Cam didn't think it was right, and neither did Maya. She didn't need to play nice to someone who had done something so awful, it wasn't fair to ask her to, either. However, Grace and Maya ended up compromising; Grace made a sort of schedule for when she hung out with whom, giving Maya the majority of the days, since Zig had been the one to mess up.

Cam couldn't help but wonder what would have transpired had he still been alive. Would he and Maya still have been together, or would she have ended up with Zig anyway? What would Grace, the girl with blue-tinted hair and nose studs, have thought of him? Maybe one day he'd find out, but he hoped not too soon; he knows she's sick with cystic fibrosis, and even if he disagreed with her still being Zig's friend, he wanted her to have as many days alive as possible.

"You must have had a riot when Zig cheated on me, and then my best friend fell for him." She scoffs, eyes rolling at him. "Probably said 'I told you so', too." She knows it's not true, Campbell was never cruel, but she's so angry she can't help but snap.

"I never would've said anything like that, Maya. I just felt bad for you, and terrible because I wasn't there for you."

"How could you be, you were selfish and chose to kill yourself when nothing REALLY bad was happening."

Ouch. She just dismissed how he'd been feeling in that time. All the doubt of her choosing Zig, the homesickness, the pressure of being a good boyfriend and an Ice Hound, it'd all taken its toll on him and in one sentence she completely made it feel like he really hadn't had problems.

He turns away, shaking his head. "Don't be cruel, we both were going through things. No, I wasn't cheated on, and no I wasn't in an accident, but you don't know what I was going through. Unlike me, you didn't have to watch the one you care about suffer, you just saw me the one time at my weakest. I had to see you go through everything, and it hurt."

Yeah, right, what bull. It hurt him. He hadn't thought of her when he killed himself.

"Grace and Jonah, your friends, they never abandoned you."

Wrong! They decided to work with Miles on the play instead of her. True, she had a new obsession with the disturbing photos Saad took, but still; they hadn't know that when they chose to replace her. Plus Grace had blocked her everywhere after she sent photos of what she'd been doing, and told the principal.

A meeting had been called with Ms. Grell, her mom, and Simpson, they said wanted the old Maya back and that if she didn't change she'd move schools. In her senior year. Like hell that was going to happen. She'd tried. She reached out to Grace and Jonah for the play again, but they didn't want her because she snitched about it having suicide mentions.

'-because you're a terrible friend.'

'I just don't want you in my life anymore.'

Those words were final, not an ounce of sympathy. Maybe she wasn't dying like Grace, but she still was allowed to have feelings. Why was it wrong for her to feel so hopeless and numb?

"I heard you talk about me, to that new guy you met? Saad, right? You told him what happened."

"I didn't know enough to tell him."

"You don't want to know how, Maya. Trust me."

The wave of desperation washes over her, the feeling of despair and fear. She didn't want to be like this. She didn't want to disappoint everyone and FAIL them, fail him. Everyone who left her, that's why, they got tired of her being a screw up.

One stupid kiss, a brief moment of remembering how things were, how happy she was with Zig once...and Esme became an enemy too. Could she do anything right? Her breaths start coming quicker, and her chest tightens.

Panic attack.