As much as I would like to own them, all the characters of Glee belong to Fox – I own nothing. All the characters of The Fast and the Furious belong to Universal Studios, I'm just borrowing some of them. All writing belongs to me.

Ok peoples, this chapter isn't a long update, I will admit, but I think I did a good job considering I had a tooth out and caught a cold at the same time this week (no word of a lie that actually happened!). Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and know that with what happened this week on the show (I nearly died! Anyone feel the same way?) I would rather be writing anything but sad Brittana but it's the way it's gotta go.

Thank you to all the awesome people who reviewed and faved and etc. I hope you're all enjoying it and I will see you next week! (Oh, and now we've reached 100 reviews! YAY! :D)

3 Months Later/Blue Light Storage Garages/8:05am/January 15th 2015

It was a crisp morning in January as a light blue RX8 pulled into the Blue Light Storage Garages, not a soul in sight at the early hour. That's the way she wanted it. The car came to a stop outside garage four. The engine ran with a low hum and was the only sound as she sat there and stared at the door, her hands gripping the steering wheel. It had taken all of her strength to come here but she had to do it. She'd spent three months of pure torture trying to put her heart back together piece by piece and it had almost killed her but ultimately it was why she was here. She needed closure no matter how small it may be or in what form it came in. That meant sucking it up and actually getting in her car and driving over here.

Taking a deep breath and shutting off the car Brittany stepped out and pulled her winter coat closer around her body. Adjusting her beanie she then pulled a set of keys from her back pocket, the blue tag a blazing reminder of just what she was about to do. Looking up from the keys to the door they unlocked she remembered how Shelby had given them to her a month after the R8 went missing. She had told her that if anyone deserved to hold these keys it was her but through all of her heartache and tears she never understood why. That was until now. She now understood as she was standing here in front of the very door that Shelby had given them to her as a sign of moving on. She needed to put this nagging feeling to rest and close the previous chapter of her life to begin a new one. At least, that's what her mom had told her when she had brought the subject of the key up about a week ago when she was at home visiting them.

Now she was here it felt real. She was really doing this. She'd spent three months trying to erase just how much Santana had changed her life, how much she loved her, but the constant sleepless nights and nightmares had made it hard for her to function, if even barely. It had taken it's toll on her both physically and mentally and for the first time since her heart had broken she felt ready to take that first step to moving on. Although, she wasn't going to lie. This wasn't easy. It wasn't easy to take those five or six steps up to the garage door as each one made her want to turn around more and more and just run and never stop. Then again, who said it was gonna be easy in the first place? She had to do it, it was now or never and she was actually here.

Taking a deep breath she made those steps, albeit reluctantly, and slid the key in the lock. Before long she was pulling up the door and her breath caught in her throat as she was confronted with the sight of a car she hadn't seen in three whole months. There, sitting as if it had been waiting for her all along, was Santana's ice blue Supra untouched since the day she had left it there. The day that she flipped not only her whole life on it's head but everybody else's, including Brittany's. Momentarily unable to catch her breath Brittany let her body rest up against the wall, a hand over her mouth as memories started flooding through her mind – memories she had spent way too long trying to bury deep in the very darkest depths of her mind.

She knew she was the first person to see it since Santana had left it here, Shelby had told her she was the only one who had the key and she had given it to her so that she could make a choice and today was that day. Today was the day she chose to put to rest the woman she thought she loved and figure out whether to leave her car here or give it to Letty for her judgement. Right now she didn't have the answer but she wasn't going to leave until she had one.

Once she had composed herself she stood up straight and made her way over to the car whilst pocketing the garage keys back into her back pocket. She trailed her finger over the bright paintwork, still amazing even now in it's slightly dusty state as it was the day it came back from Kurt's shop. Memories of what it was capable of streamed into her mind remembering close shaves and intense races she had never even dreamed of seeing before. She remembered racing alongside it, the way the two women had won without even giving their opponents a chance. It was special this car, it had symbolized Santana's rise into their crew, into their family, and it had cemented her place as the final piece of the puzzle they needed to win Race Wars. Now it symbolized their loss, just what Santana had done to them, to all of them. Still, it would have a special place in her heart but she wasn't ready to make the decision on what to do with it just yet. The sight brought pain and comfort, two emotions and feelings both warring to win and not getting close. Brittany wouldn't let them, not just yet. Not until she was sure.

Her hands continued to trail over the paint work in feather light touches until she came to a stop, seeing the keys placed on the hood. She reached over and grabbed them, taking a moment to examine the small but bright blue Nos bottle key-chain. She remembered giving it to the Latina as a gift on one of their dates. She had seen it and given it to her knowing that the Latina's keys looked bare. Now here she was holding them in her hand debating just what to do with them. Instead – in a spur of the moment decision she took a step towards the door, unlocked the car and slid into the driver's seat. Closing the door she then placed her hands on the steering wheel, her mind trying to fathom exactly how Santana felt behind this wheel as she drove her car to this garage before driving off in what would have been the grand prize to Race Wars.

As much as she wanted to believe that Santana was upset as she drove this car here her anger was clouding her view. That's when she noticed the piece of paper resting on the dashboard in front of her. Reaching for it she found it was addressed to her.

Brittany,

Check the glove compartment

-S

She frowned but did as the note told her despite her inner self screaming at her to do anything but. She was angry at this woman for so many different reasons yet she couldn't stop herself from leaning over and reaching to open said glove compartment. Inside there was an envelope just sitting there, the white of the paper glaring up at her yet she still reached forward and took it, turning it over in her hands and seeing it addressed to her in Santana's neat scripted handwriting. She sat there for what felt like hours staring at it, biting at her lip as she debated whether or not she should open it. She knew she should, Santana had put that note there for a reason so she must have wanted her to read it. In the end her curiosity won out and she turned it back over and slid her finger under the flap. She was then presented with a double sided letter yet again written in Santana's perfectly neat handwriting. Taking a deep breath she braced herself before reading.

Brittany,

If you're reading this then it's happened and you know the truth. If so just hear me out on this or stop reading, it's your choice. If you choose to hear me out then thank you. I spent so many hours trying and failing to figure out how to write this letter and what to say and it wasn't easy. It always came out wrong, that's why this is my last try. If you know the truth by now then you must be in my Supra. I wrote this not that long ago, or at least in my mind I didn't. I had some thinking to do, I know that, I just had to have someone say it out loud. My other 'handler', the police chief, knew I got in too deep and she knew I did it willingly too but I didn't mind, not one bit. I believed everything. Every moment I spent with you and the rest of the crew. No matter what you'll always be the family I always wanted. It felt real and despite the fact that you may never forgive me me, I know that everything I experienced was real, it was the truth. No matter what has happened, if you hate me forever, I know that I wasn't faking it just for the sake of getting to Puck. Like you. You may not read this for months, years, or possibly not ever, but Britt what I felt with you I know in my heart was real. This entire time being under someone's thumb every minute of everyday my life was blurring with the lies but you kept me sane – our love kept me sane. No matter what happens after the truth comes out, even if it has and you never speak to me again I want you to know that our love will always be in my heart. I've never let anyone get close in my life and I don't handle feelings very well, you know that, but you were different. You will always be the one I loved the most. Damn, I'm crying as I write this but I can't help it. You're it for me Brittany, which is why this isn't a declaration of love, it's the God's honest truth. The real truth from the real Santana, or at least the woman I thought I was before my whole life became one huge lie. I may not know just who I am any more but I know everything I felt for you, every moment we shared together, was real. I made the choice to be with you knowing the consequences. I knew what it would do to us but I couldn't deny that I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I can't deny it, I just can't lie to myself about it as it would kill me inside for the rest of my life. That's why, a question I know you've probably asked yourself over and over again a thousand times by now. I can't possibly write down all the answers to your questions, there are just too many. Maybe one day you'll let me explain it to you face-to-face, if even at all. If not then it's your choice not to, I totally understand. That's why I suspect that you're reading this now, if you are, because you found it no matter the method how. You always were the smartest person I'd ever met. You're a genius Britt and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Before I finish this, in the glove compartment there's a box. If you look inside there's a pendant. I was going to give it to you when the time was right but I fear that with everything going on around me right now as I write this I might not get the chance. If that is the case and you're looking at it now whilst reading this then it's true. In any case, I saw it and thought of you and Lord Tubbington. I thought it could be something like a good luck charm but if you don't ant it then I understand. I just saw it and saw you. Anyway, the last thing I want to say is something you probably don't want to hear but I'm sorry – for everything. It breaks my heart as I write this to know that I've probably broken your heart in the process of revealing the truth but I had to get it out or else I never would have, you had to know. You had to know that I love you. I love you Brittany S. Pierce, and that will never change.

I love you, proudly so,

Santana

Everything was silent, as if the world had completely stopped around her and she was the only one on the planet. It felt like all of the air had suddenly been sucked out of her lungs making it hard to breathe as the first hot tear streaked down her face. Her vision had become blurry mid way through reading but she had carried on, a part of her curious as to what else Santana had to say. A part of her wanted her to stop and was now mocking her with 'I told you so' but her inquisitive need for answers had won out no matter how hard she had tried to fight it.

Her vision still blurred she looked down at the charm now clutched in her hand. No matter how much she didn't want to she couldn't help but admire the small but unique piece, the way that it was just so her but so Santana at the same time. It was silver in colour and had stripes all over like Lord Tubbington. It's body was shaped like a circle, it's feet curving inwards and meeting at the bottom as if it was stood on a ball. Upon closer inspection it was indeed supposed to look like a ball of wool and it completed the circular shape. It's tale curved upwards back and forth like a winding road and circled enough at the top to form the makeshift clasp that held the piece of metal that allowed a chain to be threaded through. All in all it did remind her of her cat and herself, something quirky she's sure she would have loved wearing had she not found out about it after Santana had told her the truth. She was disgusted with herself when a tiny little part deep inside of her wanted to go back to before everything was turned upside down just so that she could enjoy it and thank the other woman.

Then it hit her. Tears streamed down her face when she came to a realization, a realization she had been constantly fighting and denying since the moment she exited that hospital room. In a twisted and sick way a part of her still loved Santana. And it terrified her. How could this happen? She'd spent three months asking herself the same questions over and over again, angry and confused at her but this one last gesture written before she told her who she really was, reminded her of the woman she thought she had fallen in love with. The woman that she now just realized that she missed. She wanted her back, she wanted her life back. She wanted the time from before, the time before these past three harrowing months of hell that had almost killed her. She wanted to be the Brittany that used to be happy nearly every minute of the day and have someone that she could love all to herself. Now all she had was a letter that clarified the feelings Brittany had been confused about, whether Santana really did love her, and a cat charm that was originally intended to bring her happiness but was now only a reminder of the woman she had lost, of the life she had lost.

She didn't know what to do and it cracked the heart she had only just taped back together. It hadn't fully healed, like it had only just been temporarily stitched like an open wound but the fact that she was even more confused now only served to cut those stitches loose and proceed to start breaking her down once more from the inside out. She gasped out a breath before the sobs racked her entire body full force, pressure forcing itself on her as she started choking out cries and tears. She found it hard to breath and it paralysed her body, the blonde woman falling forwards until her head hit the steering wheel, the cat charm clutched in her hand tightly as she lost complete control of herself.

It took her a while, Brittany not quite sure just how long, but she finally recovered and pulled herself together. A small weight had been lifted off of her shoulders but her feelings were still there, anger and confusion the heaviest. She didn't know what to do about Santana's letter, whether the Latina wanted her to react to it physically (confronting her in person) or even if she remembered it, but she did know one thing. She'd had plenty of time to think and cry it out and as she stepped out of her ex-girlfriend's car she knew that the Supra wasn't going anywhere. Shelby had trusted her to make the decision by herself, knowing what Santana had meant to her, and she decided that maybe just one day she'd have the strength to make the true decision on what to do with it.

For now though she wasn't strong enough, she hadn't healed enough to make the decision with a clear mind, especially after the letter, which is why she took one last look at the car before closing the garage door and locking it up once more. Clutching the letter and the charm in one hand she held her keys in the other and made her way to her car. It was going to be a long day.

The Nissan slid violently as it's owner fought to gain control over it's powerful engine. They'd been at this for over an hour trying to regain the fine control they'd once had over it. Hearing their radio flare to life next to them they reached over and brought it to their ear as soon as the car was stopped.

"Santana, you've got to give it a rest. You've been at this for over an hour! Don't you think that it's about time to relax? I mean, you're not fully healed yet!"

"Matt, I'm fine!"

"No you're not, I know you're not. I knew it hurt after the third attempt. That's why I gave you an extra thirty minutes because I knew you'd be stubborn"

Sighing Santana bumped her head back into the seat, relenting to her friend's reasoning. "Fine" She grumbled. "I guess I could call that it for the day"

Matt smiled as he pulled up next her in his Mustang, rolling down his window so that he could speak to her face to face. "Put it this way" He shrugged. "At least you beat your record from yesterday"

"I guess..."

"Oh come on S, you know as well as I do you're getting better. I mean, you're calling me out on nearly every day I have off to come practice with you. You'll race again, I know you will, but neither me, Roz or your abuela want you pushing and injuring yourself in the process. Its been three months, you'll get it back."

"I know I will, it's just..."

"You're trying to keep yourself occupied"

"Yeah"

"I know, but damaging yourself in the process helps no one. I know how bad you want to get back so that you can start searching for Cassandra but it's gonna take some time. I mean, you did get shot and you did have physio therapy, you still do. Then you insisted on driving as soon as you were able"

"I know, I know. You're right. How much did I beat my time by today?"

He knew she was changing the subject, it wasn't like she hadn't before. He'd spent enough time with her in the past three months to know that it was still a sore subject to talk about, especially when he mentioned that she'd only really just been cleared to drive. Still, it didn't stop her and as much as he seemed to be strict on allowing her to do what she wanted he really did admire her for how quickly she had bounced back. Then again he knew that if he was in her position he'd want to get back into the driving seat as quickly as possible to bring Cassandra down. But he was a cop, and he was her friend and he knew when she was pushing herself, today the perfect example. She was being stubborn but he knew when to play along. If there was one thing Santana needed nowadays it was a friend. That's why he was going to look over the fact that she had just brushed him off in favour of answering her change of subject question.

"By the last attempt you'd beaten it by four seconds."

He watched as she threw he head back against her bucket seat once more whilst sighing frustratedly. "Damn, what attempt was that?"

"Number ten"

"And that was my best one?" He nodded. "Damn it"

He laughed, catching her attention and a glare in the process. "Santana, you've been at this all afternoon, you already beat the set lap time by your third try and you've set a new record in one of the best cars I've ever seen like a bat out of hell! You handled each corner as if they were nothing more than orange cones – they were real storage containers you could have crashed into!"

"I know but-"

"But nothing!" He chuckled. "You are still good, trust me, but if you're not happy at least go home and rest before you attempt to go back at it"

He hand went to her abdomen subconsciously, the pain there even though she had been trying to ignore it to no avail. It had become more apparent since her third try but she had kept going, the pain fuelling her to push herself to try and forget about it but it hadn't worked and she knew that Matt could see it, he just had a sense. He'd helped her the moment he brought her 350z back and she knew it wasn't fair to keep pushing her body when it didn't want to go. She knew that if she kept doing what she was doing it would only prolong getting back into the scene and taking down Cassandra. That's why she sighed and looked over at the police officer.

"Fine, I'll come back tomorrow"

Matt grinned. "Let's go get something to eat. You cool with that?"

"Sure"

"Oh, and S?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't regret telling you that I'd race with you"

She smiled as she watched him start pulling away, the Latina remembering the conversation in question. He'd come by one day with the keys saving her the trouble of collecting it herself. Not that she could anyway. She hadn't been back from the hospital very long but Roz had still sent him over trusting her not to push herself unnecessarily.

Santana sat on the porch as she watched her grandmother garden. It was one of the last sunny days of the year and a warm breeze rolled over the young Latina as she happily sipped on a bottle of water. Days like this had been rare even before she left eight years prior and she was making the most of it whilst she could having missed simple moments like this with her grandmother.

Her hand drifted down to her abdomen which was covered by a t-shirt, the gauze underneath still noticeable if you looked closely enough. She could feel the pad under her hand under the shirt and couldn't stop herself from rubbing it subconsciously with her thumb. She was momentarily lost in thoughts of the past few weeks since she'd left the hospital before being broken from her daze by a familiar sound, one she hadn't heard in months, not since before...

Looking up she saw her Nissan drive up and park in the middle of the driveway of her grandmothers small house. She and the older Latina watched curiously as the car was shut off, the two of them curious as to who was driving. She knew her abuela hadn't seen the car since she left Lima eight years ago so she hadn't seen the modifications that had been done to it, so as Santana knew who it could be behind the wheel, to her grandmother some stranger had just driven and parked on her driveway.

Standing up Santana clutched her water bottle in one hand whilst the other held her side, the injured Latina resting up against one of the porch pillars with her shoulder. It was a few silent moments before the person stepped out and she smiled when she saw Matt, the police officer holding the keys in one hand with a huge smile on his face. He obviously knew how important it was to her to see her car in one piece, especially after what Cassandra had done to her. She'd feared she'd taken this from her too.

When he spotted Santana stood up on the porch his grin grew even wider but as soon as he started moving to walk towards her she held up a hand, instead making her way down off the porch and crossing the lawn to meet him halfway.

"Matt, hey"

"Hey Santana"

She hugged him softly, careful as to avoid bumping her wound, with a smile on her face. When he pulled away he turned to Alma and held his arms open, the older woman happily accepting the hug.

"Mrs. Lopez"

"It's Alma, you know that"

He shrugged, chuckling. "Of course, but my respect is ingrained ma'am, you know, being a cop and all"

She just waved him off and smiled knowing that he was right. "Still doesn't mean you can't try"

"Of course not!" He laughed. "I'll try...Alma"

Alma laughed along with him before Santana nodded over to her car. "So, I'm finally getting my car back?"

He glanced over his shoulder and then back at Santana. "Yep. Roz told me it was finally time to bring it over here. She wanted to wait until you were a little better. Didn't want you driving so soon after getting out"

"I suspected as much. Still, it's nice to see it in one piece"

"I know, Roz and me made sure to check it every day, especially once Cassandra slipped under the radar. I hope you don't mind me driving it?"

"Nah, it's fine. But you do know I probably wouldn't trust anybody else to drive it other than Roz or you right?"

"I know" He smiled.

It was true. He'd spent everyday until she'd left the hospital outside the door making sure that Cassandra never came back or got to her. Not that it was likely anyway, but it made Santana at least feel some sense of safeness whilst she was recovering. He'd checked on her regularly when her grandmother wasn't there and sneaked her in car magazines to pass the time. He'd even grabbed her stuff from the crew's house (even though they were all too happy to hand it over and already had it boxed when he arrived). Nevertheless he'd been there as a good and close friend no matter his ties to the crew and she had appreciated every second. He had called every now and again since she'd got out and offered to help her in physio therapy since she couldn't drive and needed someone to take her there. Roz had offered too and as soon as she was ready she was sure that she could count on both of them. What mattered the most was that she had people who still cared for her and were on her side and she was thankful for his support. He was like the brother she never had and right now she wad content to say that. He had earned it.

Still, there was the situation at hand and she laughed at his response. "I'm glad that you know that. That cars my baby. I haven't seen it in so long"

"Well, it's been parked up in the place we backed it up into in that impound lot and Roz had the tires changed and before you ask, yes, she had me pick up the exact same tires that were on it before so it's basically the same car it was the day you left it."

"The wheels?"

Matt turned his attentions to Alma. "Santana hit spike strips. It was the only way Cassandra could get her in to talk to her. Believe it or not Santana's way too good to be caught when she's behind the wheel. She probably would have kept on going if we hadn't burst her tires."

"Thank Roz for me"

"I will. I also washed it before I brought it over here. Believe it or not that car lot can get exceptionally dusty even after a month or so. I thought you'd appreciate it if it looked the way you remembered it"

"I do" She smiled, her hand still clutched against her side. "So it's mine, no strings attached?"

"You own it don't you?"

She laughed along with his answer. "Yes. Just tell Roz I appreciate her holding up her end of the bargain even when things went down the way they did"

"I know but she's been on your side the entire time despite Cassandra's motives. She wanted to make sure that you got it back, just not right after you got out of the hospital. You can't drive it though"

"I know. I'll just look at it instead out of my bedroom window"

He laughed at her flat tone, Alma joining in. "If that's what you want to do, feel free. In the meantime just get better and before you know it you'll be back behind the wheel."

"I know. How are you getting home?"

"I'll catch the bus"

"You sure?"

"Of course." Santana nodded and he handed over the keys. "I believe these belong to you"

Santana smiled as she clutched them in her hand. "Thanks"

"No problem" He replied, happily returning the hug that she had pulled him into. "Oh, and one more thing"

"Yeah?"

"When you're feeling better and you're able call me up"

"What for?"

"I'm pretty sure you'll need a training partner to get you used to being back behind the wheel. Think of it as me offering to be your personal punching bag until you're ready to race again"

"You'd do that?"

"Of course. Plus Roz wants someone to keep an eye on you. She worries about you S"

"I know she does. Just tell her that I'll take it easy and when I get back I might take you up on that offer"

"Fine by me"

Both women watched as he left, the police officer smiling and waving before turning and walking down the street until he was out of sight. Santana then covered the remaining distance until she was stood next to the car. She pocketed the keys in her sweatpant pocket and then ran her hand over the bright golden paintwork.

"Is this the same car you left in?"

Santana nodded as her grandmother stepped up beside her. "Yep. Same one"

"It's so different" She mused, looking in the window.

"I know. Eight years will do that to a car. It's one of a kind."

"It's amazing."

"Yep. Even better on the road. Maybe I'll take you out for a spin one day"

"Oh, no no no"

Santana laughed as her grandmother walked back over to the rose bush she had been pruning prior to Matt's arrival. "Come on abuela!"

"No!"

"You're not even curious? Come on, let your hair down a little!"

The older woman paused for a few moments before turning to her grandmother, her expression serious. "On one condition"

"Anything"

"If you crash that car whilst I'm in it Santana Lopez you will be sorry you even asked me. No demasiado rápido. Probablemente me matarás."

Santana laughed as she walked over to her, pressing a comforting kiss to her grandmother's temple. "It'll be fine abuela, I promise. Voy a conducir con cuidado. O por lo menos voy a intentar."

Alma rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say mija. Just don't drive it before you're ready."

"I know. I won't overdo it, I promise"

The older Latina nodded and watched as she turned and made her way back over to the car, Santana clearly happy to see it again. Alma was just happy she was happy. It was becoming a much rarer occurrence these days but she knew that she wasn't going to argue with anyone that if there was one thing that made her granddaughter happy, it was cars.

Breaking herself free from her thoughts Santana threw the car into gear and quickly caught up with him, the two already playfully racing towards the closest fast food joint/diner.

It wasn't until about an hour later and they were pulling up to where the local race meet was happening. It was some back alley downtown that was secluded enough to temporarily house the large crowd that would soon be gathering but Santana decided that she wasn't up for it just yet. Matt had parked his car off to the side and she was a few feet away, hands gripping the steering wheel as she watched people start to arrive, night having now fallen upon the city.

Matt saw her and made his way over to her open window knowing the look on her face. "You know you can leave if you want to"

She shook herself of her thoughts and looked up at the guy who was smiling down at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Ok. It's just that I don't think I'm ready for this, even if it is just watching"

"I know, which is why you can leave. Maybe it's because you're not a hundred percent behind the wheel yet, I don't know. Maybe once you feel ready to race you'll be able to stay"

"That's the best explanation I've heard so far. You know me so well"

"Yep, and I'm glad I do. It's my job as a bro"

Santana laughed. "That it is"

"Now go ahead and get out of here. I'm sure by now your abuela is wondering where you are"

"Probably. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, one in the afternoon at the docks, not a second late"

Santana smiled and nodded, rolling up the window. Matt barely had time to take a step back before she was already speeding off. Shaking his head and laughing he turned around and spotted Letty and the rest of the crew. Making his way over to them his grin didn't even falter.

"Who was that?" The Latina in charge asked, her jacketed arm around Mia's waist.

"Oh, just a guy I've been helping get into the local race scene around here. He needed someone to race with"

"Nice car" Tina pointed out.

"Yep, one of a kind. Anyway, who's racing tonight?"

"That would be me!" Quinn cut in from her place beside Rachel.

Letty smiled as she pulled her arm back and clapped her hands together. "Then let's do this! Blaine, you ready?"

"Hell yeah"

"Then what are we waiting for?"

(Also, for people who want to see Brittany's charm will be over on my Tumblr - shinodafan94)

TBC