Part 6
Safe was Liesl's new mantra. She was safe. She was safe. She was safe.
After her session with Wanda, and even though she insisted she would be alright, Liesl spent the next few days feeling overwhelmingly anxious and dazed. She dreamed about what she saw at Wanda's touch, and soon snippets of her past life followed. Most of the details were inconsequential, such as a stress dream she had about losing her notebook, but others pointed to information about HYDRA capabilities that SHIELD may not know. Liesl longed to verbalize this concern, but with no concrete details, it wasn't worth mentioning.
The others noticed this shift in her personality. Though she was only yet blossoming into an outgoing woman, Liesl retreated back into her quiet, comfortable shell. She spent more time in her new room—complete with huge windows overlooking the city, a tall bookshelf stacked with history books in both English and German, and blank notebooks with a variety of colorful pens. Steve had suggested she use the journal to jot down her memories; soon, her pages were sprawled with sketches and haphazard thoughts. Unfortunately, none of it made sense to her fragmented mind.
She was rereading a passage she scribbled about poisons she had been developing in Siberia, wrapped tightly in Bucky's blanket, when she heard a knock at her door.
"It's open," she said, stuffing the book under her legs.
Bucky entered a moment later. His hair was swept up in a bun and he was wearing an NYU sweater and a concerned stare.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "Haven't seen you upstairs in a bit."
"Okay," she repeated with a fake smile. "Just thinking a lot."
"Is there anything I can get you? Or help you with?"
"No, thank you," she replied. The static concern on Bucky's face didn't budge. She was about to ask him for privacy when she suddenly thought, "How did I save you?"
"Hmm?" he closed the door behind him.
"You said I saved your life," she said. The nerves in her throat made her voice shake. "How?"
"You were kind to me when no one else was," Bucky said. "You took care of me."
"That was it?" she said, deflated. She had imagined her past self standing up to HYDRA more dramatically, but it seemed her defining characteristic then and now was fear.
"We tried to escape together," Bucky said, sitting on the edge of her bed. "I think we did. But we were caught. I don't remember much after that."
"Just us?"
"Yes."
She asked the question on the tip of her tongue—one she'd been wondering since her first day in the tower.
"Did we love each other?"
Liesl saw Bucky's lip quiver as he considered the answer to this question. He hesitated before saying, "I don't know about love. When I think about it, I don't know if we knew each other that well. But we cared for each other very deeply."
Liesl wasn't sure what prompted her to say so, but the words came out of her faster than she could stop them. "I think I loved you."
Bucky smirked. After a beat, during which Liesl thought she heart might explode, he asked, "Can I show you something?"
Bucky led Liesl to his room a floor below hers. The walls were painted a dark red with black sheets. He didn't have many personal items strewn about, except for some clothes here and there.
Bucky reached for a book stuffed in the back of the top drawer of his dresser. He motioned for her to sit on an ottoman at the foot of his bed, so she did. He thumbed through a few pages before sitting next to her.
"This is before I remembered much, including you," he said, handing her the book.
On a page surrounded by scribbles in Russian, German, and English, Liesl saw a quick sketch of her old self—glasses, thick hair, straight lips.
"I dreamed about you a lot," Bucky said. He flipped forward a few pages, and there she was again, drawn from the side. The name Annelise was underlined beneath it with a question mark. "After I woke up… I went to Froelich to settle down. I didn't know why at the time; I just did. But I think I was waiting for you, even after all those years."
Liesl flipped through a few more pages. Her name became less and less common, but she was still present among his thoughts. On one page, she found a stunning sketch of her without glasses, looking like a doll.
"You're a good artist," was the only thing she could think to say.
"Thanks," Bucky said, reaching for the book.
His metal fingers grazed her skin, and the sensation stoked her memory. She gently took his metal hand, holding it between her palms. He flexed his fingers, and she wrapped hers around his until they intertwined. She wasn't sure why, but the sensation was familiar. Liesl felt closer to him in that moment—safer with him than anyone else.
It was only then that she realized what she was doing—holding his hand. She hastily let go of his hand like she had been shocked back into reality.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I wasn't thinking."
Bucky said, "It's okay." But his eyes told her that he wished she didn't let go.
Liesl was quickly overwhelmed by her feelings for Bucky. She had an immensely hard time sorting through the affection, admiration, need, and dependency that tangled together to strangle her heart.
With his coaxing, she started to join the others back in the common area. She'd even told him about parts of her vision and resurfacing memories, including the poison that melted her hands. On the surface, Bucky didn't look too concerned, but she knew when Steve came to talk to her about it that she probably stumbled onto something bigger.
Bucky, Steve, Tony, and Natasha disappeared for a few days after she confirmed her memories. When they came home, Tony pointed a square finger at her.
"You!" he snapped. "You are onto something!"
Liesl raised her eyebrow, frozen with fear. "I… what?"
Tony smirked, noticing how he had riled her up. "You did good, kid. We may have found something in Germany."
She still wasn't sure whether to be relieved or frightened. "Okay…"
"We think you might be able to help," Steve said tentatively as Bucky collapsed into the chair next to her, his face covered in old sweat and dirt. "But only if you want."
"How?"
"We found a HYDRA facility that was off of our radar," Bucky explained. "We were thinking if we brought you, you might be able to lead us around."
"I never went to a German facility," she said. "Maybe once, but that was it."
Bucky shot the others an "I told you so" kind of look. But it was clear that the others were unwilling to give up.
"We'd teach you—or reteach you, more like—defensive skills," Natasha said. "We would be by your side the whole time. If something happens… we'll take care of it. If it turns out to be a bust…"
"Then you got a lovely plane ride to the mother land," Tony added.
Liesl instinctively looked to Bucky—as if he might provide her with the right response. After consuming dozens of books and acclimating to this new society as best as she could without wandering too far from the Tower, she was starting to wonder what use she had here. Perhaps she could help. And Tony was right, if nothing comes to her, then it's not a huge loss.
Bucky's face, though, was a flat line of frustration. Liesl knew that he wanted to keep her safe—to give her the chance at a normal life—but she was eager to help in any way she could. Even if she couldn't verbalize directions, maybe her subconscious could lead the way.
"Well?" Natasha prompted.
"Okay," Liesl said, her skin prickling with excitement. "Let's give this a shot."
Even in her past life, Liesl was not very physically fit. So she was surprised when her body—her new, Winter Soldier body—remembered most of the fight patterns that Steve and Natasha were teaching her. Though they insisted on teaching purely defensive skills, Liesl's quick hands grabbed weapons and aimed precisely. Both Natasha and Steve were impressed with her quick learning, but Bucky's persistent frown told her that he was worried about her. She tried to cheer him up by spending more time with him, but it was clear he didn't want her to go.
"I'll be okay, Soldat," Liesl told Bucky once their plane landed outside of the HYDRA facility. The others had gone ahead to scope the scene, leaving the two together.
Bucky forced a smile at her, but his nerves showed through his grin. "I wish you didn't have to do this."
"I wanted to."
Bucky didn't reply. Instead, he grabbed a large gun from the wall above their seats and cocked it.
"I feel safer with you here," Liesl said honestly.
Bucky grimaced, though. "I'm not sure you should."
After a beat, during which Liesl's mind ran rampant as to why Bucky would be putting her off, Steve called for the soldiers. Liesl double checked her protective gear and then stepped out of the plane.
The HYDRA facility was dark, covered in cobwebs, and smelled distinctly of dust and agony. Liesl's heart started hammering as soon she entered the facility—this wasn't hers, she knew, but the familiarity of the machinery made her queasy.
The others fell into step behind Liesl as she wandered around the facility, much like a tourist in New York City does, with her neck craned upwards. The location seemed to be fairly cleared out, save for a few machines, including a newer replica of her mind control device. Each time she entered a new room, she held her breath for fear of seeing someone sitting at a desk, about to bark orders at her.
"Anything?" Steve's voice echoed through the empty hallway that Liesl and Bucky were exploring.
"Not yet," she answered, her voice bouncing off the walls.
"I might have found something over here!" Tony called. "Looks dangerous… my favorite."
The sound of pounding footsteps behind them meant Steve and Natasha were running over to Tony. Liesl looked to Bucky, who shrugged.
Liesl grabbed the dusty brass handle of a door near the end of the hall. Bucky edged the barrel of his gun through as he peered through the sight. When he determined it to be safe, he swung the door open and walked in first.
The room was dark and stale. A few lights buzzed above them, but only enough to see a few feet in front of her. Desks lined the wall with computers from the early 90s perched atop. Liesl ran her fingers over the desks, leaving a line of cleanliness. She fiddled with the drawers, pawing through slick materials in Russian and German. They were mostly information, some scribbled with ideas. Liesl bit her lip as she read about a poison—wondering if it was the same one she had messed with in her time at HYDRA—when the room's door slammed shut.
She yelped involuntarily, dropping the paper to the ground. Bucky calmly approached the door and pulled on the handle.
"It won't budge," he muttered. "Damn building."
Before Liesl could reply, she heard a voice she could never forget.
"Hallo, Frauline."
The sound sent shivers up her spine. Bucky spun on his spot, pointing his gun towards the sound, which came from the ceiling.
"So good to see you again," the voice said in honey-like consistency.
Her heart pounded in her chest so hard she thought she might vomit. Bucky stepped slowly over towards her, his gun still aimed high.
"Zola," she said. "Wo bist du?"
Zola chuckled. "Frauline, you should address me with the formal Sie, bitte."
"You can't still be alive," she said, her voice shaking.
"Alive is a subjective term," he purred.
Then, something hard and heavy flew at Liesl's head. She ducked; at the same time, Bucky wrapped his arm around her shoulder and forced her to the ground.
"I think you'll find your enemies are inside this room," Zola continued. "Or should I say: enemy."
"Show yourself!" Liesl demanded, standing up.
The room went quiet. The remaining lights hummed anxiously, as if they could burst at any moment. Bucky went back to the door, forcibly tugging on it. When that didn't work, he emptied a few bullets around the handle and pulled again.
"Shit!" he swore.
"Bucky…" Liesl's voice trembled. A hard lump of anxiety lodged in her throat; she thought she would be sick.
Bucky dropped his weapon and started kicking at the door frame. She could see the hard wood shake against his impact, but it refused to open.
And then, like a snake's voice slithering in her ear, she heard Zola's voice again, this time speaking in Russian.
"Longing. Rusted. Seventeen."
Liesl instinctively clamped her hands against her ears, trying to block out the noise. Her mind buzzed unpleasantly with disobedience. In the background, she could still hear Bucky trying to break down the door.
"Daybreak. Furnace. Nine."
"Bucky!" she yelped, feeling very much like a child. She was trying desperately to block the sound, but the words crept into her ears.
"I know!" he yelled. Bucky smashed his body weight against the door, ricocheting the door off of its hinges.
"Benign. Homecoming."
The door toppled with a thud. Liesl fell to her knees and curled into a ball. She emitted a high whine in hopes of distracting herself from his words—words she wasn't 100% sure what they did, but she knew she wanted no part of it.
"Come on!" Bucky urged her, his voice echoing from the doorway. "Get up!"
But Liesl couldn't move; she was glued to her spot—shaking, scared, helpless.
"One."
"Liesl!" Bucky yelled. When she didn't move, she felt his body cover hers, his hands pressing against her ears so hard she missed the last word or phrase.
And just like that, Bucky relaxed against her. He stood, looking to the ceiling for instruction. Liesl slowly rolled upwards until she was sitting on her legs, ready to pounce for the door. Bucky's bright eyes had gone pale and glassy.
"Soldat?" she asked, touching his metal hand gently. "Can you hear me?"
Zola's voice demanded, "Kill her."