Authors note: And there we have it, chapter two. I rewrote some bits, but kept the main story line in. Hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me. This story is non-profitable and is meant for entertainment purpose only.

Trigger warning: references to rape and past abortion via magic!

She'd finally succeeded. It didn't matter that her main motivation behind her decision to help had been to put a stop to those dirty looks Henry shot at her every time she saw him. That didn't matter at all because she'd done it. Regina didn't know why but the air felt easier to breathe, now that she'd found a way to bring back miss Swan and her annoying, insipid mother.

It probably had to do with the fact that Henry's sole caretaker would no longer be that naïve Prince Charming whose solution to every problem seemed to be running straight towards it, sword first. He seemed to have forgotten his civility when remembering his true self. How ironic. But of course, Henry obviously didn't see it that way. He was probably having a blast, living in that tiny loft, eating god knows what, but most likely not something Regina would ever allow in her house. The thought of Henry caused a sharp pain to erupt in her heart. Her little baby boy who hated her so much was probably relieved to finally be freed from his evil mother. But still, now that she'd found a solution for miss Swan and Snow's return he would at least be living in a happy home, away from her.

Thinking about miss Swan caused the pain she felt to suddenly change into sheer terror. The woman who had been haunting her dreams at night and her thoughts by day for the last two months was returning. This meant that Regina had no other choice but to face her again, and to put it mildly, Regina was nowhere near prepared to deal with that. There were still times when the memories that assaulted her at night seemed so real that she felt she was back in that supply closet again, with the Savior's finger inside her, blood streaming down pale thighs. Those nightmares usually ended with a noose around her neck, as Henry watched and gleefully smiled, clutching Emma's hand, a hand that still dripped with Regina's blood. She always woke up just before the noose was pulled.

The memories of that fateful evening didn't just contain themselves to nightmares though. She vividly remembers clutching an orange in the middle of the grocery store when a memory had caught her unawares. Juice had been dripping down her wrist before Archie Hopper, of all people, had been able to shake her out of her thoughts. She remembers the nausea that followed that embarrassing encounter and how she'd stumbled away, apologizing and leaving behind her cart, not even recognizing her surroundings anymore.

Regina had mostly kept to herself after that incident, only stepping outside when necessary. She had almost been relieved, but still mostly ashamed and angry, when Charming himself had shown up on her doorstep one day, announcing that he would be doing her groceries for her from that moment on, seeing as some townspeople had complained that she was out and about.

She wondered if the blonde Savior was even aware of the damage she had caused, both physically and mentally. Because as much as she tried to block him out, it was not only miss Swan abusing and hurting her who played the main character in her nightmares. A certain King also liked to make a sickening appearance every now and then. Those dreams always left her the most shaken up and they almost always resulted in her heaving up her meager dinner and another sleepless night. Not that sleep was something she'd gotten a lot of since it happened.

The fact that the Savior saw it as some sort of terrible punishment, some twisted way to truly hurt the woman she figured was the Evil Queen, caused bile to rise in her throat once more. Had she known how much that punishment would tear open old wounds that could never heal? Her hands were shaking, clenching around the mug that Henry had gotten her for her birthday a couple of years ago, back before their relationship became… poisoned, as poisoned as that apple turnover, Regina supposes. Cold coffee was sloshing over her hand as Regina slammed the mug down on the countertop. Thinking over the memories that this cup represented, she was now aching to hold her son again and breathe in his scent. His scent, it was one of the things that she missed the most. Oh hell, she even missed the way he used to leave his clothes everywhere except the hamper. Or the way he used to whine and whine when she didn't allow him sugary treats after eight to eliminate the threat of a sugar-high. He would always scoff when she told him it was only to make sure that he got a full night's sleep.

How had those simple scoffs turned into full on 'I hate you's'?

Regina stopped herself from going down that dangerous road for the twentieth time that day. Rational thought, as always, quickly followed. She knew, deep down in her mind, that letting him go with Charming had been the best thing for him. She was unable to take care of him with her fractured mind and her broken spirit. Her mother would probably call her weak for it and purse her lips in that way she always did when she was extremely disappointed in Regina. It wasn't hard to know what her mother would say. 'Of course you are unable to take care of him, you silly little girl. But be honest with yourself, you know you have never been capable to do so.'.

Oh, mother. Regina hated the woman with a passion hotter than fire and yet, she couldn't help but love her.

'I don't want to be you…'

God, that little phrase held more pain and damage than Henry could've possibly realized when he uttered it right to her face. And Regina hoped that he would never find out the magnitude of trauma that followed those words. She'd said it to her mother too, a woman so cold and heartless that she was able to continually abuse her only child and force her into a loveless marriage to a sixty-year-old King. This with conscious knowledge of the horrors that would be forced upon her over the course of said marriage.

And now her son had uttered those same words to her. It was a confirmation that she was well on her way to turning into the woman she feared most. But also, loved more than life itself. There is no way to describe the clenching panic that went along with that realization. It seemed to freeze her from the inside out while simultaneously snapping her in two. She felt suffocated, unable to expand her ribcage enough to let in precious air. Mother had been right. There was no getting away from her, even when Regina had believed her to be dead, Cora Mills had always been able to worm her way into her daughter's mind, spawning well-placed doubts and self-hatred. Even when Henry had been a little boy, her mother's voice had been there inside her mind, torturing her in ways that were all too familiar by reminding her how bad she was, how silly and stupid, unable to do anything correctly. It was why she was so worried when Henry had been a baby, constantly crying and unable to tell her what was wrong.

The panic she was currently feeling only caused her already empty stomach to constrict. Bile was rapidly rising, it burned her esophagus and made her eyes water. Regina, having been in this situation more times than she could count this last week, was already stumbling over herself in her haste to get to the downstairs powder room. Her knees painfully connected with her tiled floor as she dropped herself down in front of her toilet.

Tears were scorching their way over her cheeks. Her knuckles went white with the force she used to grab her thigh, while holding her hair back with her other hand.

'I don't want to be you…'

That little sentence will surely follow her to the grave.

"Emma," Snow sighed, already tired from the long walk, feet aching. She dropped down on a log, acknowledging the feeling of the slightly moist wood through the fabric her jeans with an uncomfortable wince. Emma turned around slowly, then followed her mother's – god, her mother's – example and sat down also.

"Please tell me what's bothering you, Emma," Snow had already noticed something was off. Her daughter – god, her daughter – seemed absent. And it was not because they fell through a portal and ended up in an ogre-infested forest.

Emma's green eyes snapped up at the sound of her mother's words. Was she that obvious? The thought caused burning hot shame to fill her stomach. She quickly dropped her gaze again, unable to look the other woman in the eye any longer. On some subconscious level she remembered what she had done to her son's mother, but on the other hand she'd felt out of control on that fateful night, like there was someone else in her body, doing those horrible things to the Mayor.

Still, not one to openly admit emotions, Emma murmured a soft 'What do you mean?', keeping her gaze focused on the mossy forest ground.

"I can tell something is up, Emma. You're not acting like yourself," Snow's voice was soft, filled with motherly concern and it made Emma want to throw up.

Her first instinct was to scream. She wanted to yell at the younger woman that tried to act as if she were her mother. Well, she was, but still. 'And how would you know that, you've only known me for a few months?!' was the first thing that came to mind. But that would be cruel, so instead Emma just hummed in some form of acknowledgement. She suddenly remembered one of the nicer foster-parents she'd had.

'If you don't have anything nice to say, Emma, don't say anything at all.'

It was a lesson that had stuck with her for some reason. One that she tried to live by, which admittedly didn't always work.

Snow was patiently waiting, studying her daughter's pale complexion. Emma really didn't look good, her skin was sun kissed and dry, patches of red scattered across her face and arms. Snow didn't know why, but she had a feeling that time moved differently here, her watch still worked, but it didn't match up with the position of the sun, instead it seemed to move much faster. She wondered if this was a result from the Curse being cast, or if it had always been this way but Snow had just never noticed for she was cursed when she moved to the Land Without Magic.

Not that it mattered anymore, they were no step closer to figuring out a way to get back to Storybrooke. Ever since they escaped Cora Mills, they had been somewhat lost.

Snow shook the thoughts from her head, they could wait. Sensing that Emma would say no more unless prompted, Snow continued her questioning. "Just tell me, Emma. Please, it would be better if you get it off your chest," she hoped this would work, she hated seeing Emma in pain.

It seemed to do the trick, for Emma suddenly looked up, tears in those beautiful green eyes and a slight quiver in her bottom lip.

"Oh, Sweetheart," she said softly and pulled her daughter into a warm hug, choosing to ignore the slight flinch she felt when she touched Emma.

"I did something really, really horrible, mom," Emma gasped for breath as she buried her face in the crook of her mother's neck.

Snow couldn't find any joy in being called 'mom' at the moment. Not when her daughter was obviously heartbroken. "What did you do, honey? You can tell me," Snow murmured softly, kissing her daughter's forehead whilst her fingers combed through blonde locks.

Emma took a deep breath, before everything just seemed to spill out. "It happened when I broke the Curse. Henry looked so small in his hospital bed and I was just so mad. I realized Regina was the one that hurt him, that she was – that she was the Evil Queen-" it still felt ridiculous to say it. "I was so mad that I dragged her into a closet and I asked her if it was all true. And she confessed, she just confessed. I don't remember exactly what happened, I just know that I saw red and tasted blood in the back of my throat. It felt like my body wasn't mine anymore and I just wanted her to hurt," her breath was coming fast now, fat tears streaming down her face and soaking her mother's light scarf. "I – I just wanted her to hurt as much as I hurt and I couldn't think anymore. Everything is blank after that, I just know that I-" Emma fell silent, she knew that her mother would never look at her the same after she uttered the words, but it felt so good to share this horrible secret with someone, anyone.

Snow had been quiet during her daughter's rant, a calming presence in the chaos of her admission.

"What did you do, sweetheart?" Snow's voice was soft, pain reflected in her eyes.

"I raped Regina," it was said silently, as if saying it louder would cause all the more guilt and self-hatred. "I'm so sorry, I hate myself for it," her sobs took over her body, unable to stop herself from trembling, she buried herself further into her mother's neck, sucking up as much of the undeserving comfort she could get.

Snow felt her world spinning. Rape? Her little girl had raped Regina… She couldn't find the words, couldn't say anything to justify, wouldn't even search for words to justify. And so she said the only thing that sounded logical in her mind.

"I still love you, Emma. I always will no matter what."

The nausea had been persistent and Regina immediately knew what was happening to her before there was even any confirmation. She had missed her period twice now, something that had only happened back when she'd fallen pregnant during her marriage to the King, but those pregnancies were easy to handle with a mere potion. There was no way around it now. No potions to rid herself of unwanted parasites.

Abortion was a possibility, but for that to happen she'd need a doctor. And she was positive no doctor would want to help the Evil Queen get rid of her unborn child, even if they were to find out it had been conceived through rape. It would probably be seen as more blood on her hands.

Regina shook her head, slowly lowering her cup of tea onto the countertop. She couldn't think about this, not right now. She wasn't even sure yet ('yes you are') and, even more importantly, she needed to focus on getting Emma and Snow back without letting her mother pass through also.

Thoughts of her mother caused her to wonder what the woman was doing right now. Would she be angry with Regina if she were to return? She had, after all, send a pirate to kill the woman. Or would Cora be proud of her for finally listening to her most important lesson? Love is weakness and Regina had pushed aside her love for her mother to find her way to greatness.

Though, knowing Cora Mills as well as she did, Regina didn't have to wonder. She would probably face the full force of her mother's wrath, either way.

Mother would never allow Regina to know she was proud of her.

When a week later, she still didn't feel any better, Regina decided that she needed to know for sure. And so, Regina made her way to the store, keeping her head high in an act of indifference as though she couldn't care less about the fact that they all hated her and would gladly have her head on a spike.

She was standing in front of the shelf filled with pregnancy tests, when a voice she knew all too well caused her to turn around with hurt and fear in her eyes.

"Mom?" Henry asked carefully, mistrust apparent in his dark eyes as he looked at the woman who had raised him the first ten years of his life. He almost didn't recognize her. Her skin seemed sickly and pale in the bright, artificial light. There were dark circles under her eyes that she had obviously tried to hide with makeup, which made them all the more prominent. She didn't look at all like the strong Mayor Henry remembered. That woman had seemed indestructible.

"Henry," the name sounded like a choke, even to her own ears. Regina wanted to run to him, to grab him tightly and never let him go. Her little boy was here, and she wasn't even allowed near him. Pain filled her to the brim and she quickly took a few steps backwards. Away from the shelf filled with tests and away from her son.

The charming Prince came barreling around the corner, shooting her a suspicious glare. "What are you doing here, Regina?" Henry was quickly pushed towards the candy aisle, away from his mother. It hurt Regina to see him go.

Regina shook her head slightly, breaking her eyesight away from the corner Henry had just rounded. She willed her emotions to go away as she reached for a small box of tampons. "Doing groceries," she shrugged as if nothing was wrong, as if he was stupid to ask such a question when the answer was apparent. And truly, he was.

Charming wasn't having it though. "I thought I would be the one to do your groceries, remember?" he said with narrowed eyes.

Regina scoffed for show. "Oh, I wasn't aware you wanted to be the one to buy me tampons? What would our dear Snow White think of such things?" She snapped back, her voice laced in venom. She couldn't help but twist the knife a little bit further, she was the Evil Queen after all.

It was enough to get the Prince off her back and the man grumbled something under his breath, turning around and rounding the same corner Henry had just disappeared behind. He was probably off to buy some sickly-sweet candy that Henry insisted upon. He could be very persistent after all and Charming was obviously a push-over.

Regina let out a nervous breath and grabbed a pregnancy test, quickly pushing it in the pocket of her coat as she made her way to the cash register, the little box of tampons still clutched in her hand. The last thing she wanted to do was to start Storybrooke's rumor mill.

The little pink plus was mocking her, laughing at her, causing her so much pain that Regina couldn't help but throw up at the sight. It wasn't long before the plastic stick was shattered as it hit the white tiled wall of Regina's bathroom with a force the brunette didn't even know she possessed. The crunching sound was extremely satisfying as she crushed what was left of the stick under the heel of her boot.

Her spine curled painfully as she released a broken sob. Knees connected with the cold floor harshly, but Regina couldn't care less about something as insignificant as bruises now that she found out for sure that she was pregnant because the Savior had raped her.

It all needed to stop, she wanted it out. Now.

There was no way she could handle the deeper meaning behind this pregnancy. She couldn't stand being connected to the blonde in such an intimate way. Pregnancy by magic wasn't unheard of back in the Enchanted Forest, it was possible so long as the two parties involved both had magic. But Regina was also aware that for it to create a child, both parties also had to love each other. And that was most certainly not the case.

So how come she was in this position right now?

"Emma!" Henry was crying tears of joy as he ran towards the woman he only met a year ago. He threw himself into the blonde's arms like he used to do with Regina, and she had to turn her eyes away. Would he have done that if he was aware of what Emma had done?

Truth be told, Regina didn't want to know, fearing the answer.

Keeping her gaze fixated on the forest ground as she listened to the happy reunion, she rested her left cheek against the sharp bark of the large oak tree she was leaning against. It was currently the only thing keeping her up. The Death Curse had taken a lot out of her and Regina was surprised she was still alive. Her breathing was heavy as she felt the last remnants of the Curse buzz through her body. Regina frowned, there was a slightly green tinge to her otherwise pale skin.

Her thoughts were interrupted.

"Regina?"

She flinched when she heard the blonde breathe her name softly, suddenly sounding way too close even though neither of them had moved. She looked up slowly, aware Emma had caught the way she had flinched at the sound of her voice. "Don't," Regina's voice was even more raspy than usual, out of breath from absorbing that dangerous curse. "Just don't, miss Swan."

Henry looked confused as he paid close attention to both his mothers. There was an obvious tension there, speaking of hurt and fear. He didn't know what had happened between his mothers when he'd been under the Sleeping Curse, but he didn't like how his adopted mother had flinched when Emma had spoken, or how guilty Emma was currently looking.

"But, I'm really-" Emma tried to continue, but was quickly cut off again.

"Please, just don't miss Swan," Regina blinked back traitorous tears. "Don't say you're sorry, it won't change a thing."

Emma sighed sadly and looked down at Henry, who was still clinging to her waist, confusion clear in his expression. She leaned down and softly asked him to go over to Mary Margaret for a moment. Henry didn't question it, in fact, he was happy to get away from the uncomfortable tension.

Snow was happy to curl an arm around the boy and led him away from the conversation. Her eyes were sympathetic, but she still felt no need to justify Emma's behavior. They both knew that what her daughter had done was wrong in so many ways. No matter that Regina was the Evil Queen and that her son had been under a Sleeping Curse. No one deserved to be raped.

Emma was watching his mother's son with a mixture of pain and guilt. She noticed the way Regina was still heavily resting against the large tree and she wondered what kind of curse it had been that Regina had absorbed for them. She took a deep breath, trying to fill herself with courage. "Regina, please just hear me out," she put up her hands in a show of good intent and took a careful step forwards.

Regina flinched back, almost losing her footing once her grip slipped away from her trusty tree. She didn't want the blonde any closer to her so she put her hand up, her other once again clutching at the tree. There were green sparks coming from her hand, but neither women paid attention to them. "Don't-" she breathed out softly. Regina closed her eyes for a second, bracing herself. "I'm pregnant."

She knew she needed to tell the woman eventually and there is no time like the present, Regina supposes.

"I – what?" Emma's pale skin turned even paler. A sickly pale. The blonde prayed she heard wrong, that her mind was playing tricks on her. But from the devastating look on Regina's beautiful face, Emma knew she'd heard correctly. "And it's-"

Regina felt the need to throw up. "if you're really asking me if it's yours then yes, it is. But please remember that this whole mess is your fault. You did this to me, you raped me," Regina was seething now, feeling immense anger at the vulnerability she was currently feeling. She pushed herself up to her full height, ignoring the dizzy spell as she stared into Emma's pained eyes. "This is not your child and I will make sure that you'll never get anywhere near him or her," it surprised her how protective she is suddenly feeling over a child she isn't even sure she wants.

Emma was still staring her like a lost puppy. "How?" There was no way this is happening. All this is impossible. 'Just as impossible as living in a town filled with fairytale characters, Emma? Just as impossible as having Snow White and Prince Charming as parents? Impossible like that?' her mind was mocking her.

"Magic," Regina said, as if it was a logical explanation. And to be honest, it was the only one Regina could handle at this moment. With that she turned around and stumbled back to her car with her head held as high as humanly possible.

She felt like bursting out in tears when she noticed the sympathetic glance that Snow shot her way.

And with that we have chapter 2, take 2. I hope you liked the changes I made and I'll see you soon! Reviews are greatly appreciated!