Authors note: Hi there, you miss me? Sorry for the long wait between chapters, I''m just busy with life and school. Hope the next chapter will be quicker to come your way. This chapter there's some heavy talk between Archie and Regina so I'll put down a trigger warning just to be on the safe side.

Trigger Warning: Talk about rape!

...

The ticking of the old clock that was hanging on the left wall, suddenly sounded very loud in Regina's ears. Archie was sitting in his usual chair, facing her as he studied her over the rim of his old-fashioned glasses. Her heeled foot tapped against the underside of the old, weathered couch. Tap, tap, tap. And it seemed to finally pull Archie out of his trance.

"Are you willing to tell me why you're here, Regina?"

Truth be told, Regina had always been partial to Archie. He was smart and knew the world wasn't black and white, unlike most of the former fairytale characters that lived in this town. He seemed to really want to help her, even when he had betrayed her trust so many months ago.

"I need help." Regina slowly uttered, her eyes stayed concentrated on the red haired doctor as he scribbled something down in the binder that was on his lap.

"And you think I will be able to help you?" His tone was comforting, non-judging and it made Regina feel somewhat at ease.

"I hope." The brunette muttered, more to herself than to him. "I need your discretion before I'm comfortable in telling you anything more." Regina said, sounding uncharacteristically timid, more like the girl she had been when she'd met Daniel.

"Of course." The man nodded. "You can trust me, Regina. And even if you feel like you can't, I'm still bound by the law."

"This is Storybrooke, doctor. The law doesn't mean a thing here." Regina snapped back, being unable to stop the words. Being mean had been her defense mechanism for so long.

Archie sighed softly, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "Then I hope my promise will be enough for you. I truly do mean it when I say that I value your trust, Regina. I want to help you, I swear."

Regina pondered his words, unconsciously moving her right hand to her stomach. But she was here for Henry, so she will be able to be a better mother for her son, and so she'll be willing to take the risk.

"I'm pregnant." The words were quiet, timid and said without the usual joy any other woman would use.

Had Archie Hopper not been a professional, his jaw would surely be located somewhere at his feet right now. There was something in the way the former Evil Queen said the words that had him questioning his response. "Congratulations?" He said, sounding unsure.

But Regina nodded, excepting the offered up response before further explaining. "I suppose." She muttered, looking down at her hands that were clasped together in her lap now.

"Do you mind me asking who the father is?" He asked carefully, still somewhat tip-toeing around the subject.

Regina let out a soft humorless chuckle and when she looked up again, unshed tears were glistening in her dark eyes. "Emma Swan." She said bitterly. "The Savior is the one who did this to me."

"Oh." And now Archie did look as surprised as he sounded. "I didn't know you and Emma were-"

"We are not." Regina snapped back before the red-head could finish his statement. "And do not suggest that ever again."

Archie looked apologetic, snapping his mouth shut.

"This child wasn't conceived in some lust-craved quicky. This didn't happen because the Savior and I had been desiring each other since God knows when." Only so much as saying the words out loud actually made the bile rise in her throat.

"I wasn't implying-"

"I'm sure you weren't. But it won't matter in a month or two when everyone in this damn town will probably start making the same assumption you were about to make. And I just, I just-" Regina took a shuddering breath, emotion clouding her voice, making it tremble. Already were those damn hormones getting the best of her. "I won't be able to handle that." She finished, sounding resolute as she kept her eyes trained on the hands in her lap that were now shaking, anger and anguish coursing through her veins.

"Regina?" Archie looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

A humorless smile curled up the corners of Regina's mouth as she finally looked up to the doctor. "Be grateful you don't understand, doctor. Be grateful you can't understand."

He blinked slowly, making sure his green eyes stayed locked with her brown ones as he furrowed his brows. "What happened between you and Miss Swan, Regina?"

Not even a second after his question, did Regina's eyes lower to her lap again. "I can't." She muttered softly, tears blurring her vision, her cheeks turning a soft red with the inexplainable shame she was feeling. And even though she knew she shouldn't be ashamed (she remembered Archie's words back when she had told him of the horrors she'd been through when she was married to the King), it was still hard to shake off the feeling. Maybe if she'd just pushed the sheriff off earlier, none of this would've happened. Regina clenched her hands in fists, her nails digging into the skin of her palms. She mentally scolded herself for not acting like the Queen she had been taught to be. Queens don't get frozen with fear when a simpleminded blonde woman suddenly jumps them.

And yet, that's exactly what happened.

"It was when Henry was in the hospital." Regina muttered. "We were all worried about Henry and it was all my fault and Miss Swan... she somehow found out the truth about me, about everything." A tear broke loose, rolling down her cheek and landing on the soft fabric of her trousers (she had been avoiding skirts ever since that day). "She was angry, very angry... and- maybe she had the right to-" Regina furrowed her brows. If her mind wasn't taken over by hormones, she was sure she would've never uttered those words. She would've thought them, Regina never doubted that, but she would've never said them aloud.

"She pushed me in a supply closet and- we fought." Regina frowned, still avoiding Archie's eyes that have gone sympathetic. He still had the brains to not look at her with pity, Archie knew there was nothing Regina Mills hated more than pity.

"She overpowered me and-" With a shuddering breath, Regina locked eyes with the red head again. "Lets just say that now I'm pregnant."

There was a long moment of silence where Archie seemed to think over her words and arrange them in a way that made sense to him. And when he was done he simply looked up at her (with sympathy, not pity) and spoke in a calm voice. "This pregnancy happed through magic, I'm assuming."

Regina let out a relieved breath. She had dreaded his response, thought that maybe he would've defended Emma. Not believing her and putting the blonde on her Savior-pedestal, claiming that the child of Snow White and Prince Charming could've never done anything like that. And even if there were people who believed her, they would surely claim it had been Regina's fault, just another cruel way to punish the Evil Queen that had done so many gruesome deeds to the good people of the Enchanted Forest.

"It did." Regina nodded slowly. "I've read about it once or twice back when I was learning magic."

Archie nodded, tapping his pen against the binder on his lap. "I have a feeling there is something you're not telling me." He gently inquired, looking up at her over the rim of his glasses.

Regina sighed softly. She actually didn't want the former cricket to know, for the sole reason that saying it out loud might make it all the more true. That there actually was True Love between the Savior and the Evil Queen. And it was quite surprising for Regina to find out that that wouldn't even be the thing that bothered her most. Regina never thought she'd say this, but her son's birth-mother being her true love was something she could learn to live with (Regina couldn't and wouldn't think of Emma being the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, that would just be too much for her already crumbling sanity to handle). No the worst would be that, if she really shared true love with the blonde, that would ultimately mean that the person who was meant to be her second chance, her only chance at a happy ending, had committed the most unspeakable of acts towards her. It would mean that her true love had raped her.

And so Regina said nothing, just stared at Archie teary eyes as she slowly apologized, telling the red-head that she had to run to get some groceries before Henry would get home.

Only when she'd closed the door to Dr. Hopper's office behind her, did Regina realize that Henry wouldn't come home. And Doctor Archibald Hopper knew that too.

...

It had been a week since her first appointment with doctor Hopper and it's been a lonely week for Regina. After sending Snow away for the first three days, the former princess had finally realized that Regina needed some space to just calm down and think things over. She hadn't been out at all, not even to get some groceries and she was beginning to run low again. Which was ridiculous because Regina knew she absolutely was in no state to even so much as think about food.

Morning sickness had really kicked in this Monday.

It was one of the reasons Regina had canceled her appointment for today, saying she was sick and asking if they could reschedule for Friday evening. And - after a worried pep-talk - Archie had told her that 'they could of course reschedule'.

Immediately after ending the conversation, Regina had somehowe made her way upstairs to her bathroom and she hadn't left the room since. Safe to say that she probably wouldn't leave for at least another hour.

Her stomach was contracting, ridding itself of her meager breakfast (an apple, one slice of dry toast and half a cup of tea) and cold sweat had formed itself on her hairline. Regina was feeling filthy and oh so tired. She wanted nothing more than to take a quick shower and then crawl into bed. But - as her body had just clearly told her - even moving to just relieve her quickly-falling-asleep foot, brought on another bout of nausea.

It were moments like this, sitting on the floor of her bathroom alone, that Regina allowed her fantasies to wander. Because truly, it wasn't as if there was anyone that could tell her not to. She was completely alone in this big mansion.

She would let herself pretend, and not even feel ashamed about doing so.

Regina Mills would pretend that instead of being here - in Storybrooke, Maine, she was in the Enchanted Forest. And Daniel was there with her as a bout of morning sickness took over, he would hold her hair back, murmur sweet, loving words into her ear while he rubbed her back in comforting circles.

And when she was done, he would throw out the bucket and help her towards the bed, where he would come and lie down next to her. Telling how much he loved her, and their child.

Regina knew it was dangerous; thinking about things like that when in the back of her head knowing that she wasn't with Daniel. That her first true love was dead and buried in the ground, close to her childhood estate. She was aware that every time she realized where she really was (on the cold floor of her en suite bathroom) a piece of her soul would wither and die.

But still, Regina Mills couldn't stop herself. Mother had always told her that love was going to destroy her, that the longing for that infamous happy ending would be the end of her.

It turned out that Cora Mills has never been more right.

...

Very heavy chapter, I know. But Regina has finally set the first step to recovery and soon she will have to really talk things over with Emma. Now if you would be so kind as to leave a review, it would be greatly appreciated, they're my writing fuel.