Authors note: Happy new year!I'm back from the dead. Well, the sort of dead. My life is just really busy at the moment, but someone said that they checked every day to see if this story was updated so I started to feel really bad. The result of that guilt is this chapter.
Hope you like and leave a review if you find the time!
...
He hadn't seen her at all this week. Hadn't even caught a small glimpse of his mother. It was unsettling to say the least and Henry didn't know what to do. He felt nervous, on edge, and he had the feeling something happened to her. She could've at least called, right?
On top of his worry, Henry's relationship with his birth-mother was worsening by the day, but, to be completely honest, he didn't care much about that right now. Not with his mother in an unstable mental state, and an unwanted pregnancy with his brother or sister. Henry had been avoiding Emma (because that's what he has been calling his blond mother ever since... you know. It was just easier that way) like the plague. Making sure he was upstairs every time she got off from work, actually walking out of the room whenever she was home early. His grandmother wouldn't say a thing about it, would just look at Emma with that sad look that always lacked sympathy (good, Henry thought, she deserved it).
It was one of these days where Emma would be home early, it seemed, as the front door opened and an arm clad in that infamous red leather jacket appeared. Henry was making his math homework, sitting at the breakfast-bar. His grandmother was making dinner, one hip leaning against the kitchen counter while lazily stirring into a big, dark blue pan. Henry's eyebrows raised in surprise, before they quickly formed the angry scowl he wore a lot around his birth-mother these days. Emma was home early, even though it was a Wednesday - the day it had happened - and his blond mother always seemed to work later than usual on Wednesdays. Come to think of it, Emma had done nothing but work late for the past few weeks.
The blond in question sighed as she walked into the too silent apartment. Only the sound of Snow stirring into a pan of what seemed to be tomato soup was heard. She met Snow's dark eyes and hung her jacket over one of the chairs. She kept her eyes down, unable to stomach Henry's looks today. "Smells good." She said softly, pulling up her right leg to unzip the boot. Once her feet were only clad in black socks, Emma sauntered over to the kitchen, choosing to lean against the counter next to her mother. "You done with your homework, kid?" Tension had been the only thing between Henry and she and this was no exception.
But, forever being the son of a Queen, his manners always seemed to shine through. Even with his half muttered response of "Yes".
Henry slammed his book closed with a little too much force before he climbed down the high-chair. "Can I have dinner with my mom tonight, grandma?"
Snow looked up from the soup, a half-smile on her lips. "You should've asked sooner, Henry. I'm not sure your mom was counting on having an extra person over for dinner tonight."
He tried, Henry really, honestly tried not to lash out. His grandmother had been nothing but kind and understanding towards he and his mother. But the biting words still somehow managed to leave his lips. "I'm never an extra person to my mom." He swung his backpack over his shoulder and stomped up the stairs, not looking back.
A soft sigh left her lips as Snow went back to stirring the soup.
"I have no idea how to talk to him anymore." Snow said softly, turning down the gas and putting the wooden spoon in the sink. "He's just so...angry, I suppose."
"If you want me to give advise, I'm not the right person for the job. At least not anymore." Emma's eyes turned down, staring at the floor with intent. "And maybe I was never the right person for the job. I did abandon him, you know."
"You didn't abandon him, Emma. You gave him up, to give him his best chance and you know that." Snow's dark eyebrows formed themselves into a scowl. "This anger did not form because you gave him up, this anger originated because someone he trusted hurt his mother. I'm sure you realize that."
Watery green eyes looked up. "I just want to find a way to make it up to him, Snow. I want to make him trust me again, to make him love me again. Like he did before I broke this stupid curse, before he stopped hating-" Her jaw snapped shut, shame coloring her cheeks pink.
"Before he stopped hating Regina?" Snow finished, her arms crossing over her chest.
"I didn't mean to say that, it just- it was so much easier back then, before the curse was broken. When Henry wanted me."
"It's not Henry you need to apologize to, Emma. It's Regina."
"But Regina doesn't want to talk to me, and I truly can't fault her for that. I wouldn't want to talk to me, or even catch a glimpse of me after what I did to her!" Emma's voice dropped in exasperation, the palms of her hands pressed into her eye-sockets. "I'd hate me, I hate me."
Snow sighed softly, pulling her daughter to her chest. "There may not even be a way to make up for what you did." She murmured softly, her hands moving through her daughter's soft curls. "But you can at least try."
"How?" Emma's voice was soft, close to a hiccup.
"By giving Henry his space, and making an appointment with Archie."
...
"Henry." Her voice was a mix of pain and love. "What are you doing here?" She stepped out of the way, letting her little boy enter as her dark eyes scanned the pathway to her porch. "Is Snow here too?"
He shook his head, taking off his coat and hanging it up. "No, grandma isn't here."
The corners of her lips lifted in a faint smile. "Does she know your here, or did you sneak out? I do know you are in a habit of doing that." It was nice they could joke about it now. It was something she had missed in their relationship since Henry had started to drift away from her. They used to be so close, doing everything together, until the day he got that stupid book. And he started to question everything. Her love for him and maybe even his love for her.
But that was all in the past, and Regina didn't want to think about the past anymore. Not when it had been more bad than good memories.
His smirk was cheeky and bright, causing his hazel eyes to shine with mischief. "No, she knows mom. I asked if I could eat here with you. Unless of course you only made enough for one, grandma said she'd save me some if that was the case." He didn't want to make his mother worry, and he didn't want to put her on the spot.
"No, it's fine, honey. I made enough for two, I always do." She didn't tell him that that was because she'd always had some small sliver of hope that he would come back to her one night.
"Great!" He kicked off his shoes, placing them under the coat rack, next to his mother's high heels. "So what have you got?" He sauntered to the kitchen, the feeling so familiar it happened on autopilot.
"If by that you mean 'what are we eating' then the answer is cauliflower."
Henry made a face, walking over towards the sink to wash his hands. "Seriously?"
Regina's face suddenly fell. Henry didn't like cauliflower, so maybe he would prefer eating at Snow's. "You don't have to eat here, Henry." She said with furrowed brows, wiping now sweaty palms dry at her apron.
He shook his head, grabbing the towel from the hook to dry his hands. "I know, but I want to."
...
"You don't look surprised to see me." Emma muttered, eyes cast downwards. She was seated on the leather sofa facing the town's only psychiatrist, had been sitting on the exact same spot for about five minutes.
The redhead shook his head, that annoyingly comforting smile ever present on his face. "That's because I am not surprised. First of all because you made an appointment and second, you are a good person."
"A good person who screwed up big time."
He shook his head, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "You are a good person who screwed up big time. But we all do things we shouldn't have done, Emma. And yes, maybe this thing that you did isn't like stealing something from a store, or punching someone in the face but it remains a mistake."
"You don't understand, Archie." Emma sighed. "I deserve to be locked up. In the real world, I would be serving twenty years in a prison right now. Somewhere in my mind I feel so wrong that I'm not being punished, just because I'm some fairytale princess from some fucked up land doesn't mean that I get to do that to a person - no, to the mother of my child of all people, and get away with it."
"You feel like you're not being punished?" Archie questioned, scribbling something down on that notepad of his.
"Yes! I feel like I should be sitting in a cold cell somewhere without water and bread or something!"
"Some may say she deserved it, that this was justice for all the things she has done."
Emma furrowed her brows, disgust shining through in her eyes. "Then those people should be locked up too. What I did to her shouldn't have been done to anyone or anything for that matter. That's just sick. What I did is inexcusable."
"But, then why are you here, Emma? If you think it's inexcusable. Aren't you here to find forgiveness?" The former cricket furrowed his eyebrows. "Maybe from Henry, or from yourself."
"I am here to find forgiveness." Emma said resolutely, her hands balding up into fists. "But not from myself, and not even from Henry or my parents. I want forgiveness from the person who I hurt the most with my actions. And I realize that while I may never get, or even deserve her forgiveness, I still want to try.
...
Short chapter, sorry for that. It's just that this is a very heavy subject and I want to handle it with care so to not offend anyone. I'm very busy right now so I don't know when the next chapter will be written, but rest assured that there will be a next chapter. I'm planning on finishing this story.
See y'all next time ;)