Chapter 10: The Pressure

Up till the sun rises
There's no compromising
I know, I know, I know
You are such a liar
I never denied you
I was for sure
But it's really out of my control
The way you feel is not my problem
I don't wanna see you go
But I don't have time to solve this
And you don't have the right
After all you put me through
I'm starting to realise
Pressure
The pressure I know you feel
Pressure
The pressure just keep it real

- Jhene Aiko

Bonnie

When I turned my back on Enzo it was hard, very hard, but I forced myself to walk away. With the security door closed behind me, I walked straight through the inner door to the stairs and dropped to the step, my legs refused to hold me up any longer.

My life was a mess. The thought of walking up the stairs to my apartment filled me with dread. I knew Matt was going to be there, because he'd decided to work from home.

I sighed and climbed, then started a slow walk up the two flights of stairs with thoughts of Enzo crowding in my head. The look on his face when I'd told him we had to keep our distance, had very nearly crushed me.

Today had been amazing and he made me feel so treasured and desired. Then in the barn…. wow. That was really hot and the first time in my life that I'd orgasmed without anyone being inside me. A part of me was so disappointed when he refused to let me touch him. I'd really wanted to see him and give him the same pleasure that he gave me. I was planning to wrap my mouth around him one of these days. Something that I'd only ever done once or twice before, but never really enjoyed. I certainly never allowed Matt to come in my mouth, but I wanted that with Enzo.

Standing in my apartment, I could hear a commotion coming from the kitchen. I placed my purse and jacket on the chair by the small table in the hall, then glanced at the photograph of my parents sitting on top of the table in a Victorian frame that my father had made years ago. My grandmother made the intricate lace cloth on which it was placed.

It was when I felt so mixed up that I missed being able to cry on my mother's shoulder. She always knew what to say and do.

With a heavy sigh, I walked further down the hall towards the kitchen and stopped dead in the doorway. Oh god, not again.

Matt had an apron tied around his waist, but other than that he was completely naked and flashing his ass cheeks. What the hell had gotten into him?

"Matt?"

He jumped slightly and turned to look at me. I couldn't help but look him over. As my eyes dropped to his waist and lower, the apron started to twitch and outlined his growing erection. He took hold of his shaft through the apron and moved his hand up and down a couple of times while he watched me.

"Hey, Babe. I wasn't expecting you home just yet. I'm cooking Beef Bourguignon with rice as a surprise. How did it go with the boss today?" He carried on cooking as though there was nothing out of the ordinary, as though it was perfectly normal to cook naked while palming his erection.

"I need a drink." I turned and walked out of the kitchen, straight over to the cupboard he used to house the whiskey. I knew good and well that I would regret this, but I poured three fingers worth in a glass and knocked most of it back in one go, and then tried to take some calming breaths before I choked it all back. Hell. It burnt going down and honestly, it tasted vile, but I was hoping it would numb me enough to handle the rest of the evening. Oh god.

When I was absolutely positive that the whiskey would stay down, I headed into the bedroom to change into my lounge clothes, consisting of sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt – my usual attire when I lazed around at home. Now to face Matt.

Back in the kitchen, I was just in time to watch him place the dinner on the table with a glass of wine for me. He removed the apron and still had a rather solid erection, it was bobbing around like nobody's business while he walked around the kitchen. Enough already!

"Matt, what the hell has gotten into you? Never in our seven years together have you acted like you've been doing lately. First the other night and now… this," I said, waving my arms around in his direction.

He leaned back against one of the cabinets and just watched me. I sat down before I fell over, the whiskey was starting to take effect.

"I want you to watch me," he replied.

"I already am." Sitting back in the chair I watched him fist his cock. Shocked would be an understatement as to how I was feeling.

"It's a huge turn on, having you watch me." He picked his beer up and took a drink, so casual, as though he was standing, fully dressed in a bar.

"This is different…. I mean, you've never done anything like this before….have you?" I picked my wine glass up and took a rather large drink. I really needed to be drunk.

"I watched a movie the night I stayed at Kol's place. It was hot, so I thought I would try it…. and it really is." Then he smiled at me. "Of course, the woman who the actor was beating off in front of was actually turned on by what he was doing and ended up stripping for him and bringing herself to orgasm…. Christ, look what that image has done to my cock." I looked down and, oh boy, his cock had grown, which I hadn't thought was possible.

Matt looked good while he stood in front of me. He was tall, almost six feet, with a well-toned, muscle build that I used to find hot. I would be lying if I said, I wasn't starting to get turned on, while I sat and watched him beat off. I'd forgotten that alcohol made me amorous as well as gave me a headache.

I really had no idea about what to do. I didn't want to have sex with him, because I knew I'd be left unsatisfied and it wasn't Matt that I craved.

"Babe, you going to play along?"

He wanted me to watch him, so I could do that without losing my clothes.

I met his eyes. "I'll watch, but my clothes stay," I told him, I prayed that I didn't really just slur my words.

His eyes went hot as he took hold of his shaft and started to move his hand, up and down over his velvety skin. He spread his legs and slowed the movement with his hand. I looked at his cock which had started to leak at the tip in excitement. I licked my lips.

He groaned. "Fuck…. touch me, Bonnie. Let me come with you touching me," he begged.

Hell. I stood and tried to walk in a straight line to him, but judging by his laugh, I didn't think I'd succeeded.

"How much whiskey did you drink?" he asked me as I kneeled on the floor.

I frowned now that I was eye level with his cock. I was really unsure how to proceed. I didn't want to put my mouth on him.

"Turn around." He had a stunned look on his face then he did what I asked. "Spread your legs, and put one hand on the counter and your other on your cock."

He shuddered. "God babe, it's hot when you're telling me what to do."

I really hoped I survived this.

I smoothed my hands up his calves to his thighs and then further north. His breathing became choppy while I caressed his backside "Close," he croaked.

I put one hand between his legs and gently squeezed his balls. He shouted a name, but it wasn't mine, and came all down the door in front of him.

I stood on wobbly legs and walked into the bathroom. I locked the door, stripped and climbed into the shower. I needed to sober up and wondered who the hell Rebekah was. Did he know he'd shouted someone else's name?

The only orgasm I'd had in months was the one Enzo gave me in the barn, and if he'd allowed me, I would have sucked him off. The thought of having his penis in my hand, my tongue licking along his length and lapping up his creamy white cum, was one hell of a turn on. Shit, I shouldn't be having these thoughts.

Out of the shower, I dried off and pulled my clothes back on, then took a deep breath before I opened the door and walked into the bedroom.

Matt was sitting on the bed after he'd obviously showered in the guest bathroom.

"Are you okay, Bonnie?" he asked.

How did I answer that? "I've been better."

He patted the bed beside him, so I walked over and sat down.

Matt took hold of my hand and just held it. "I'm sorry, Bonnie I really am. We've been drifting apart for a while, and I don't know what to do to stop it. I really don't want to lose you. Please promise me you won't leave me."

I'd started to get a headache as I sat listening to Matt. The truth was, I didn't know whether or not to believe him, and did I mention Rebekah? I should be pissed, but I wasn't. I probably would have been if I hadn't met Enzo.

I turned my head to look at him. "Who's Rebekah?" He froze and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. So he did know a Rebekah. "Who is she? And don't even think about lying to me." My voice came out harsh.

He looked at me and let go of my hand. "How –"

"You shouted her name when you came."

"Fuckin' hell." He put his face into his hands. "God babe, I'm sorry. I didn't know." He sighed. "She's the woman from the video."

I was stunned, to put it mildly. "Are you serious?" He looked embarrassed, so I decided to leave it. My need to sleep the whiskey off, took precedence over the conversation. I'd had enough. "I need to sleep."

He sagged in relief.

I climbed into bed and the last thing I remember was hearing Matt tell me he loved me. I had no response to that. I couldn't lie and tell him I loved him too.

Enzo

It had been twelve days and eleven hours since I'd dropped Bonnie at her apartment building after the day we'd spent together at my parent's ranch house. Twelve days since I'd touched her. Twelve days since I'd brought her to orgasm. Twelve days of several cold showers.

The first day back in the office had felt odd. Bonnie, basically went out of her way to avoid any contact with me which only served to make me try harder. My attempts were short-lived when Bonnie ended up in tears. I'd felt like the world's biggest bastard.

I was unable to cope with the sight of my Bonnie being in tears, so I'd jumped up from my chair and pulled her into my arms, half-afraid she would reject the contact. But she came willingly. I just held her while she wrapped her arms around me and cried. I whispered apologies to her over and over again until we both felt better.

Once she calmed down, she'd admitted to me that she was keeping her distance because it was safer that way. She really wanted to be with me, but she had some things to work out with Matt first and she thought it best to keep her distance, but I was making it difficult.

I was angry, not with Bonnie, but the bastard she called a boyfriend. He was still cheating on her behind her back and yet, still had some sort of hold over her.

It had felt good, too good, to hold Bonnie in my arms that day. Although it was only brief, I loved every minute of it. I just wish there had been no tears involved.

I placed a soft kiss to her lips and promised to keep my distance until she said otherwise. I also admitted that it was going to kill me and cause me a lot of cold showers. She assured me she wasn't having sex with Matt. I surprised myself when I actually believed her. A relationship was built on trust, which was why I was trying to trust her completely.

Bonnie really got under my skin and the thought of her having sex with anyone but me made me want to hurt someone. Badly. As far as I was concerned she was mine and I had no intention of letting her go.

It was damn frustrating, having the woman who was warming my frozen heart living with someone else. The amount of times over the past twelve days that I'd nearly asked her to move in with me was in the triple digits. Keeping my mouth closed was proving very difficult for me, but for Bonnie, I would try.

Being a mere two days away from the Salvatore picnic at my parents ranch, I had no meetings planned. We had some last minute preparations to finalize and I was really looking forward to spending the day with Bonnie with no interruptions. It was crazy to crave something as simple as being in the same space with her. I knew my body would flare to life being so close to her, but I survived the last twelve days, so one more wouldn't kill me. I hoped.

I stood from the kitchen table where I'd just eaten a bagel and drank my third cup of coffee of the day, before I washed the cup in the sink, leaving it to dry.

Alaric would be outside waiting for me for the first time in three days. He'd been sick. I had to call the doctor out to his cabin because the stubborn ass refused to go to the doctor's office. He was never sick and insisted he was fine, but he coughed as though he'd been smoking for years. He never smoked. Turned out he had a rather nasty chest infection and I threatened to get Stefan to stay with him if he refused to rest.

So after three days of recuperating, he was on the phone at five in the morning, begging me to let him work today. He told me he was fine and would go crazy if he had to spend one more day in the cabin. He sounded much better so I agreed. Walking out of the front door I saw him resting on the hood of the car looking a damn sight better than he had.

"Good morning Alaric. I hope you're really feeling better today," I said, stopping in front of him. On closer inspection he still looked a bit pale.

"I'm nearly back to rights, Mr. St. John. I really need to work. A guy can only sit around so long before going out of his mind with boredom."

"How on earth can you be bored with all those DVD's and books you have stashed in that cabin?"

"I've already watched them all and read all the books, but I was more restless than anything, especially after I started feeling better."

"Okay Ric, but if you start to feel ill again, you tell me this time. Do not suffer in silence. You with me?"

"Yes. Are you going to get in the car or stand here giving me instructions all day, because I'm sure there is a little lady who is going to be mighty disappointed if you don't get downtown." He grinned.

I let out a groan and climbed into the car, my thoughts drifting straight to Bonnie. They didn't last long when Alaric pulled out of the drive with a bit of a jolt. It smoothed out after a few minutes and soon he started whistling a tune from the front seat.

"Someone's in a good mood today," I commented.

He cleared his throat. "Jenna is working today."

"Ah, it must be love," I replied, grinning when I saw Alaric blush through the mirror.

"Not yet, but she's growing on me. What about Bonnie?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "What about Bonnie?"

"Why isn't she with you?" In all the years Alaric had been working for me, it was the first time he'd asked me anything personal. It surprised me.

I frowned. "It's complicated," I replied and moved my attention to the window, effectively cutting his inquisition short.

I shut my eyes, thinking about Bonnie and how easily she disarmed me with a single look. Once or twice I'd caught her lost in space while staring at me. I would grin at her until she came back to reality and she would blush, acting all embarrassed. It was cute.

Outside the car, I heard a car horn, so I sat up in my seat just in time to watch an SUV smash into the side of our car. My heart pounded as metal crunched against metal. I heard glass break while I was thrown into the car door, smashing my head against the window.

Author's Note:

Thank you lovelies for all the reviews, I'm trying to do better with updating. Tonight don't forget new TVD episode.

Also here's a quote from Julie Plec about the engagement. "It was important for us to be able to celebrate a relationship. We can't celebrate Damon and Elena right now; Elena's in a coffin. And we're celebrating Bonnie and Enzo all the time but they're new so they have so many more roads to travel before they get to that conversation, so it was fun to be able to give Stefan and Caroline a sense of a happy ending to come, even if it doesn't get that far. It's going to be a fun road to travel."

So it seems like the conversation of a Bonenzo engagment should be coming up after they get over the Sybil mind control on Enzo arc and probably after Bonnie gets her magic back, Grams is suppose to be making her way into episode 10 this season. Also looks like something will be putting a stop to the Steroline wedding soon.