I have decided to be nice two chapters in one day, your welcome.
Nico (POV)
It's nice to be back at Hogwarts. Camp was alright, but most of the campers hated me, here only about a quarter of them do. Though no one judges me at fathers, it's far from home.
"You need to stop eating pancakes every day." Will sighs, pouring me some cereal with fruit.
"I had enough bloody cereal with my father's mother in-law." I grumble, making Wil laugh.
"Demeter right?" he chuckles, giving me toast instead.
In the table over a woman's loud screaming almost makes my ears burst.
"LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD HAVE BOTH DIED! I AM ABSULOTELY DISGUSTED- YOU'RE FATHER IS FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!"
We had all heard what Ron and Harry had done. We already knew about the car of course, but the rest is still hilarious.
Kat chuckles. "And I thought Mrs Weasley seemed sweet."
"The screaming letter is pretty cool." Will says.
"Definitely." Kat agrees before turning to a blushing Ron "Hey Weasley! How do you make letter like that? Is it some kind of spell?"
Ron turns even brighter. "Special parchment you can buy." He answers.
"Thanks!" she says before turning back to us, smiling cheekily.
"Any idea what we have?" I ask them.
"Herbology first then Potions then Defence." Will answers.
"Dude, we haven't got our schedules yet!" Kat exclaims.
He shrugs. "I just have a feeling."
I glare at him. He's so not subtle about being the child of the god of prophecies.
As Will said we soon had our schedules telling us we have Herbology with Gryffindor first, then Potions with Ravenclaw before Defence with Slytherins.
When we arrived at Herbology we could see Madam Sprout with a handsome man bandaging a tree.
"I love this school." Kat declares.
"He's not applying the bandages correctly." Will mutters.
"Who's is he?" I ask?"
The man is definitely handsome, but something about his blonde hair and blue eyes seem fake, unlike Will's which shine much brighter and look completely natural, not at all like he's trying too hard.
I shake my head, trying to remove those thoughts from my head. I shouldn't pay any attention to how any boy looks, especially not my best friend.
"What do you mean who is he?" Hannah asks, looking horrified at my ignorance. "He's Giledroy Lockhart, our new defence professor. He's a hero." She sighs dreamily.
Wasn't he the author of our ridiculous school books?
I raise my eyebrows. "That man is a hero? What did he do? Invent teeth whitening charms?"
Most of the guys and Kat chuckle, but the rest of the girls (including Hermione) look horrified.
Thankfully before I could be lectured on insulting such a brilliant and handsome man, he approaches us.
"Oh, hello there!" he calls, beaming around at the assembled students. "Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels..."
What a shock he's self-absorbed. I should have got that from the two chapters he spent describing how his hair blew in the wind.
"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" Professor Sprout tell us, who's looking distinctly disgruntled, not at all her usual cheerful self.
Everyone starts whispering in excitement. We had only ever worked in greenhouse one before. Great more dangerous plants to kill. Maybe they'll put up more of a fight.
Lockhart pulls Harry aside while the rest of us head into the green house.
It looks about the same as the other one with exception of the twenty pairs of different-coloured ear muffs lying on the bench.
"We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?" Madam Sprout tells us when Harry walks in.
To nobody's surprise, Hermione's hand is the first into the air.
"Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative." Hermione answers, sounding as usual as though she had swallowed the textbook. "It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state."
"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor." Professor Sprout says "The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"
"The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it." Hermione answers again.
"Precisely. Take another ten points." The Professor tells Hermione. "Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young so their cries can only knock someone out, not kill them."
I think she just won Gryffindor more points than I won for Hufflepuff most of last year.
Madam Sprout points out the plans to us and tells us to grab a pair of earmuffs.
We all start fighting over the ones that are not pink and Fluffy. Kat and I reach for the plain ones at the same time, but he kicks me in the shins, causing me to miss the earmuffs."
"I hope you like pink, Di Angelo." She teases, placing the plain ones on her head.
I hate Herbology.
I give her my best death glare and reluctantly put on the pink fluffy earmuffs, which blocked out all noise.
I notice Will grinning at me.
Once we all had our earmuffs on and Madam Sprout, pulls one of the Mandrakes from its pot, revealing wrinkly face. She shoves the Mandrake into a new pot, before giving us a thumbs up.
"As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill yet." She says calmly "However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up."
We were paired with Neville who thankfully offered to take my mandrake off of me when it started wilting. It's not my fault the little monster kept trying to kick me.
By the end of the class I was the only one not exhausted.
I smirk at the sweat and dirt covered Will and Kat who just glare at me.
"Shut it, fluffy earmuffs." Will mutters.
After everyone left to clean up we headed to Defence Against Dark Arts.
When we finally arrived at class we see the walls lined with posing paintings of Lockhart.
Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones and Justin Finch- Fletchly are all sitting at the front staring dreamily at Lockhart when we arrive. Even a couple of the Slytherin's are marvelling at his blinding teeth.
For the only time in my life I was glad to see Malfoy sneering.
"Aww Draco. Are you upset that someone succeeded in having more hair product in their hair than you?" Kat mocks when she sees him.
"Williams, shouldn't you be off drooling over Lockhart like your little friends?" he replies.
"That's enough, children." Lockhart announces scanning the room with a creepy smile. "Now as most of you are probably aware I am Gilderoy Lockhart your new professor, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
Half the class burst into laughter, while the rest of us just glare.
"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books - well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about - just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in-"
A test on the first day? Great.
When he had hands out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes - start - now!"
I perform a quick translator charm on my paper before reading it. I resist the urge to bang my head on my desk.
"He's more self-obsessed than the children of Aphrodite." I mutter.
"Are we sure he's not?" Will replies.
"That would require actually being good looking not using a ridiculous amount of hair dye charms." I whisper before turning to my paper.
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart s favourite colour? Probably the colour of the contacts he tries to pass off as natural eye colour, considering what a self-obsessed git he is.
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? To not have me kill him by the end of this year
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? Tricking the wizarding world into thinking he actually fought a werewolf considering he looked like he wanted to pee himself when he saw me.
4. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's preferred method of killing vampires? Probably using a tanning charm considering I doubt he can do any other spells.
5. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite animal? Hopefully one that will rip him to shreds.
I continued answering in that fashion onto the next page.
54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be? April 1st, as a cruel prank on the world. I don't know about him but my ideal gift would be the strongest alcohol in the world in hope I can forget he exists.
Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.
"Incorrect Miss Williams, my greatest achievement to date isn't not poking myself in the eye with my wand every day. Nor is my secret ambition to move out of my mother's basement, or not to have you kill me by the end of the year, Mr Di Angelo." Lockhart tells us, clearly not getting that we were mocking him.
The whole class (with the exception of Lockhart's fangirls) bursts into laughter. I could even see Malfoy trying to hold in a smile.
"And good job Hannah Abbot for getting almost every answer correct. ten points for Hufflepuff" He says, beaming at her.
Hannah looks as if she's about to faint from pure happiness.
When we went to leave the class, Lockhart asks Will to stay behind.
Kat and I hover by the door, wondering what he could want.
"You're hair colour is spectacular!" Lockhart tells him. "What hair dyeing charm do you use?"
Kat and I attempt to stifle out laughter.
"It's natural!" Will squeaks, clearly blushing.
"Sure it is." Lockhart replies sceptically.
When Will joins us in the corridor we all burst into laughter.
For the last class of the day we had Potions with the Ravenclaws. Apparently Snape had not become any nicer over the holidays, if anything he seemed to despise us even more.
The only positive note is that we were allowed to go with our own houses meaning I had Kat as a partner while Will worked with Lou Ellen, whose hair had returned to Ravenclaw blue.