Meanwhile, plot ahoy.
Lancer Is Called a Dog, Part 1/∞
Kuoh City, Gremory Residence, Guest Room
"So? Rin. What did you need me here for? I still have to recover after you've stomped on my foot so hard when we were talking to Rias." Shirou winced. "What did I even do this time?"
Rin smiled angrily at Shirou, arms akimbo and eyes dark. "What didn't you do this time?!" She said in a low roar. Shirou winced harder.
"You absolute dumbass. I totally get that you don't like the whole thing with Issei becoming a Devil; hell, I don't either. But we don't know anything about the situation at hand, and you start grilling the girl and if Issei didn't just blurt his way out we would be in a very tight situation right now!" Rin rubbed at her temples to soothe the pounding headache. "Just promise me to ask carefully before you shoot your mouth off!"
"Okay, okay! I promise! I just…" Shirou frowned, and Rin grimaced at his expression. "I don't understand how Issei can just agree to being reincarnated just like that."
"Part of that was your fault, idiot." Rin held up a hand to stall all of his rebuttals. "As I said, you started grilling the girl, and here was Issei, a regular person who didn't have a single shred of knowledge about the moonlit world. He definitely knew about Gremory beforehand, and quite possibly had a crush or lusted after her as she was the school idol and most likely would have agreed to join her peerage if the Devil had just come out and asked the boy in the first place. And then you started interrogating her. To Issei, it seemed to be a verbal attack on her directly combined with a tense atmosphere, so part of it was Issei just trying to resolve the situation the only way he could."
"Or," Shirou said dryly, "He just really liked her breasts."
"That's impossible," Rin said, fully unaware that it was in fact entirely possible and the truth. "No one could possibly be that stupid and perverted at the same time."
"Rin, what have we learned about saying things are impossible? Like, my body is made of swords. We don't have much of a say on what's possible or not."
"I stand by what I said." The black-haired magus said, again still fully unaware that she was going to be eating her words by the end of the week. She'll learn eventually. "And if the boy really is that stupidly perverted, Sakura will beat if out of him sooner or later. Heck, I might take a few Gandr shots myself."
Kuoh City, Gremory Residence
It used to be a serene, peaceful morning... Rias sighed as she took a sip of her tea, glancing at the Mexican standoff in her own house.
"Like hell I'm going to hand the kitchen over to you," Shirou snarled as he peeled carrots furiously with a Traced knife, utterly unselfconscious about the pink apron he had on. "Never in a million years!"
"You wish!" Archer sneered back, the Servant in yet another pink apron and cracking eggs at light speed. "Can you keep up with me?"
"No, not "can you keep with me", it's you keep up with me!" The redheaded Master growled before he put salmon onto the pan and the wonderful smell of frying fish filled the air.
Rias watched in disturbed fascination as the regal, dignified lady knight from last night drooled enough for three people as she watched the two guys duking it out in the kitchen, a good pile of dishes already victim to the petite blonde's stomach piled high to the side. She internally cursed herself; Rias should have known, she should have known, size did nothing to indicate appetite! And with the way Saber's eyes were shining, Rias silently mourned her allowance. She would not be able to get that new figurine after all…
Onii-sama, what's the point to being part of the Gremory family if my allowance can't even feed a single girl…!
"G'mor'..." Tohsaka stumbled into the kitchen still in her borrowed nightgown and somehow made it to the fridge without colliding with either of the cooks, taking out a carton of milk and directly drinking out of it without a second thought. The dark-haired girl was clearly not awake, and she wobbled her way to the table to collapse face down onto the cool wood.
"Good morning to you too, Miss Tohsaka." Rias said numbly, her years of etiquette lessons coming through.
"Mun'..."
"Rin, kindly rouse yourself. Shirou and Archer will not have enough room for the dishes if you continue to sprawl upon it."
Her own comrade looked more like a zombie and that's what she concerned about?!
Tohsaka grunted a unvoiced question to Saber, who responded as if she spoke coherently. "Only the four of us for breakfast today from our group. Rider and Sakura have already ate and are upstairs. The rest of them dispersed to their own devices today after Rias briefed them on some rules of engagement."
Tohsaka snorted, and Saber scoffed back. "I'm sure they can control themselves and not get into any trouble for one day, Rin."
Out of the corner of her eye, Rias could see the way the two cooks in the kitchen froze for a second in unison at those words, and fought down the urge to groan. There was a foreboding sensation crawling down her spine.
I have a bad feeling about this!
Kuoh City, Main Street
"Ow! That hurts!" The little boy sat up and clutched at his knee, which was scraped and bleeding. His lower lip wobbled, like he was about to burst into tears.
Asia Argento smiled kindly at him. "Don't cry! Be brave for a little bit." She said, and with a turn of her wrist her hands were glowing green with the power of her Sacred Gear; with careful motions, she brought the light closer to the wound.
With barely a trace, the boy's knee was better immediately, with only a bit of blood to show that he was ever hurt in the first place. He gasped, and Asia put a finger to her lips.
"Keep this a little secret between the two of us, alright?" She smiled, and the boy nodded eagerly before he dusted himself off.
"Thank you, nee-san!" He called before skipping and bounding away, and before long he was already out of sight.
It was at that moment that Caren Hortensia came around the other corner; she made quite an impression with her silver hair, striking amber eyes, and austere attire. Issei squinted at her, and then made a sound of realization. "Uh, you're...Hortensia-san, from yesterday, right?" Issei said brightly. The blonde nun beside him widened her eyes at the other sister and her dark habit.
"Oh! It's...hello, Sister." The nun said, and there was an undercurrent to her voice that made Caren frown. The other nun greeted her, and was mystified at the blonde's confusion. "Do you...do you not know who I am?" She asked. Caren shook her head.
"No, I do not...but I sense that you have a story to tell. Why don't we stop by a place to have a bite to eat? We can talk at leisure there." Caren purposed, every bit the demure, understanding nun of the Lord. Asia looked down and nodded shyly.
"The reason I was so shocked that the Sister was so quick to greet me…" Asia stirred at her tea morosely. "...I have recently been excommunicated. I have sinned, and was thus cast out from the church...I'm actually a little surprised you haven't heard about it, Sister Hortensia; it was quite a scandal."
"My Order is a little more isolated from the others than most, although we occasionally venture out so we do not fall behind too much." Caren said smoothly. "If I may ask, why were you stripped of your title?" Asia fidgeted with the teaspoon a little more before sighing and setting it down.
"I once healed a Devil with my Sacred Gear. Of course, I did not know that he was a Devil— to me, at that moment he was simply a person in need of help." Asia said softly. "I...do not regret healing him."
The boy beside her pushed his plate of anpan closer to the nun. The blonde started, looking surprised at the kindness; Issei smiled back encouragingly. "Have something sweet. It'll make you feel better. You did nothing wrong."
"Th-thank you…"
"And what happened after? Were you re-assigned to this city?"
"Ah, yes. In fact, I was lost before I bumped into Issei-san here; I was making my way to the church." Asia bowed in her seat. "In fact, I really must be going. It was truly a pleasure to meet you, Sister Hortensia. May the Lord bless you in his kindness."
Caren nodded back. "May God be with you."
As Issei led the blonde nun to the decrepit church, Caren walked just a little out of sight of the two, eyes and senses honed for anything unusual.
She watched as the nun bowed a farewell to the Devil, and walked up the steps to open the door to the church.
As soon as it opened, lancing pain bloomed within Caren's body, but she did not even show it in her expression. She was used to it by now, and it was an indication of something much more important.
Caren ignored the sensation and walked a few steps to turned into an empty alley. She looked around and said, "You can come out now."
The boy from earlier who had his knee healed with Asia's Sacred Gear came out from the shadows; he took off a thin necklace from around his neck and suddenly his dark hair bleached from a dark brown into a familiar shade of pure gold. The boy's red eyes danced in good humour at the nun.
"That was quite some impressive acting, Gilgamesh."
"You too, Master. Such a perfect mask to present to a lost lamb."
Caren shrugged. "And? Is her Sacred Gear really a Noble Phantasm?"
"From what I can tell, no. It's definitely not based on anything in my vaults." Gil said, twirling the necklace around a finger. He tossed it upwards into a golden portal where it sank into the light and disappeared. "It works much like healing magecraft, and I could feel the prana being transferred to me and mending the wound. That's all I could get out of it. If you really want to know more about it, go ask one of the Fakers." The usually derogatory moniker was unusually neutral coming out of this Gilgamesh's mouth, but Caren paid it no mind.
"I'm going back. Do as you wish." Without waiting for a response, the nun had already turned around. Behind her, Gilgamesh laughed a little, the sound deceivingly innocent, before walking deeper into the shadows.
"Isn't that what I always do?"
One Day Later,
Kuoh City, Gremory Contractor's Residence
Issei stared for just a second in incomprehension at the large pools of blood on the wooden floor and on his hands.
"What the fuck?" Was all he managed to get out before a batfuck crazy priest introduced himself and tried to kill him.
(If Issei had the time, he would have lamented— being attacked mid-thought was apparently the order of the week, and he couldn't wait for it to be over. Nearly killed by his first girlfriend, reincarnated into a Devil, met some crazy people, this was truly the week from Hell.)
"You shitty Devil! You came here at just the right time! I'm not having fun yet, not until I rip you apart!" The crazy-eyed priest yelled and swung his sword at Issei, who scrambled out of the way just in time. He rolled away from the man.
It really wasn't much of a fight; Issei was a newly turned Devil, barely three days old. The opponent was a psychofuck insane excorist renowned for his fighting prowess; it was a miracle (ironically, considering what he was) that he managed to last as long as he did.
There was the sound of a door slamming open, and a familiar girl in nun's habits ran out.
"Please, Father Sellzen! Please don't kill him!" Asia said as she ran out and clutched at the priest's vestments. "Issei-kun...Issei-kun is kind! I do not think the Lord would approve of—!"
Freed's face twisted even more, and he disdainfully slammed the girl to the wall. "Shut up, you whore! If you don't want me to rape you then sit there obediently and watch me kill this shitty Devil!"
"Please!" Asia screamed, and Freed only growled and beat her into unconsciousness.
"God, you stupid bitch!" The priest spat, kicking at the poor nun collapsed on her side, clutching now at her ribs. "If the Fallen didn't need you alive I would have already fucked your cooling corpse." But Asia had already done enough to save Issei; she stalled just long enough for Kiba to keep the depraved man from dealing the deathblow. Now outnumbered, he cursed and ranted as he retreated, Asia carried like a sack of flour over his shoulder.
Issei just stayed there on the floor, only able to watch as Asia was taken away.
"What do you mean, you can't do anything?!" Issei shouted, fists hitting the table. "And I can't go either?!"
"I cannot allow you to go into that church, Issei. That's a violation of the rules, as you are my Pawn." The King said, her brows drawn together. "I'm so sorry, but my hands are tied. I cannot interfere."
"Then...then I'll go on my own! With or without your permission!" Issei yelled.
"If you do that, you will be declared a Stray Devil and hunted down." Rias said, not unkindly. "Please, Issei. Don't make this harder for everyone."
But Issei had already stormed out the door, angry beyond words. Kiba nodded at Rias as he followed the other boy.
Caren only took another sip of her tea, as if uncaring of the tense situation. "My, how passionate. The boy really should have considered it before he agreed to be turned— he's lost his humanity, and still expects the full privileges thereof? How...conceited. And even after Archer warned him."
Rias grimaced. "Please, Hortensia-san. You are not helping."
"It is only my observation." The nun said coolly. "Why, I do believe it's the truth."
The red-headed Devil rubbed at her temples. "I beg of you, Hortensia-san, I'm just trying to think of a solution. By Lucifer, this is a mess…"
"Why trouble your head over it when the solution is so obvious?" Caren smirked, just a tilt of her lips. It was not a very kind expression. "If you cannot go alone, then why not go on official business for someone else?" she said. Rias turned to her, eyes wide. "Now that I have somewhat of a vested interest in how her story plays out...I then wish to contract your Peerage for a task. Go to that church, and rescue my fellow Sister from the Fallen."
Rias smiled, catlike. "I accept. The price shall be the right to pose five questions to you and to have them honestly answered."
"Two questions."
"My, Sister Hortensia, you are quite a hard bargainer! Four questions."
"The traditional three questions, and I will have Lancer and Gil come with me as backup."
Rias reached across the table and shook Caren's hand. "A pleasure doing business with you."
Just then, Kiba came running back, face pale. "I lost him." he said, and everyone in the room stood as one.
"Goodness, that impatient boy." Caren sighed. "He could have been considerate enough to let me change."
The broken-down church was even more sinister in the moonlight.
"So Asia-san would most likely be kept in the crypt?" Caren asked. The Devils were keeping a certain distance away from the nun, clearly sensing the power coming off the crimson shroud wound around her arms.
"Yes, and likely guarded by human exorcists and Fallen Angels." Rias said, thinking quickly. She could leave Koneko behind with Caren to fight the priests, and she could go on ahead with Akeno and Kiba to deal with the Fallen—
"Lancer, take me with you. We'll go on ahead." Caren nodded at Rias, whose mouth had dropped. Lancer only chuckled and swept Caren into an one-armed hold, the other still holding his blood-red spear. "Ya got it, missy. Off we go—!" Before she could even get a word out, the two had already vanished.
The King resisted the urge to tear at her own hair. "And she says Issei is impulsive?! Now we have to keep all those priests distracted!"
"Sounds like the Devils have found us, Raynare." Dohnaseek said as they all heard the shouts and clashes of steel above them.
"No matter," the other Fallen sneered. "It's not like they can even make it past the priests anyway."
"Says who?" Came a blithe voice from the corridor.
From the shadows, the man that had saved Hyoudou Issei walked towards them. Behind him stood a nun, who looked at them all with clear amber eyes.
"Lancer," she said. "Please. Clear the way."
The Fallen Angels immediately barred the way to the main chamber; behind them Caren could see Asia tied to a cross, crucified in the center of the room.
"Well now, it'll put a bad taste in my mouth to fight such a pretty lady, but orders are orders." Lancer said, his red spear across his shoulders.
"The spearman— I've been looking forward to this." The male Fallen said, bloodthirst in his every move. Lancer chuckled back. "Trust me, I've been looking forward to this too. I could have just fought you to the end that night at the park, but you had already scampered off with your tails between your legs. It wouldn't have been very honourable to stick you in the back, innit?"
Raynare's beautiful face twisted into something ugly, full of hate and venom. "You're just a human...what need do you have for honour?! Throw it to your brethren, the dogs! You animals would not have even walked upright and would have remained crawling in the dirt if not for we angels! So just stay there obediently and die, dog!"
A moment of silence, just a split second of absolute stillness came over the church.
Then, without warning, the pressure increased; it seemed like the atmosphere itself had crashed down on them.
The smell of bloodlust filled the air, and if Issei looked at the tip of Lancer's spear just right he could see wisps of red light bursting out, malevolence spilling out. Lancer's eyes were wide and full of rage, and the Fallen Angels in front of him inadvertently took a step back, surprised by this sudden anger, this bloodthirst that totally overshadowed what Dohnaseek had shown earlier.
"Ya know," the blue-haired spearman said, voice seemingly cool and casual at the surface, but roiling underneath. "I was just going to make this quick. But now…"
A moment of pure speed; just a moment. Issei blinked, and Lancer was already in front of Kalawarner. The Fallen was in shock: she looked down at her chest, staring uncomprehendingly at the spear impaled through her heart. Without a noise, the woman collapsed into a heap on the floor, already dead.
Lancer turned to the rest of Raynare's group, motions unhurried, almost casual. He moved like there was no rush, like there was no way the three other Fallen could get away from him alive. With a single motion and quick flicks of his spear, there were four runes on the ground in a circle around his feet, glowing with power.
"There," he said, his sharp teeth glinting in the dim light of the church as he grinned savagely. "No going back now. To the death!"
Dohnaseek looked back at his companions, face pale in recognition. "Ath nGabla," was all he managed to rasp before Lancer killed him too.
Self preservation seemed to break through the haze of shock; the remaining two Fallen knew that there was no way to defeat the enemy before them, no way to make it out alive if they chose to engage— no matter how human he seemed to be.
Raynare turned tail and ran towards Asia; that blue man was death incarnate, and she didn't want to die! Mittlet could take care of herself. She still had so much she needed to do! She had to get out of here—and with Asia, she had a legitimate chance of getting away, she could gather more shitty human priests and extract her Sacred Gear, she could start over!
She could still prove that she was worthy.
The Fallen Angel quickly undid the chains, hoisting the unconscious girl over her shoulders. With weakening legs, she ran towards the back of the chamber, behind the altar where she knew there was a hidden passage—
She tripped, Asia collapsing on top of her in a heap. Raynare tried to get up again, but all the strength had left her legs. She tried to take her wings out, tried to fly away, but even that was no use. Why couldn't she use her wings? Why why why why?!—
The runes.
Raynare looked up into red eyes and felt cold steel chains a thousand times stronger than the ones that had restrained Asia bind her.
"I would say I'm sorry, but I'm really not, onee-san." The blond boy stared down at her, a charming smile on his innocent face. It was completely incongruent with the oversized halberd he held in his hand and the chains seemingly moving with a will of its own in his other. "I can't let you get away."
AN: Ath nGabla, runes that force all foes who see them to be under a geis. They cannot flee from the battle, and are forced into single combat with the caster. These runes were passed down among the Knights of the Red Branch, the group that Cu Chulainn belonged to. In Celtic Mythology, keeping a geis would grant you power, just as breaking one would cause you to lose it. Part of the reason why Cu even died in the first place was because he was put in a situation with conflicting geis and he had to break one, thus weakening him.
Next Chapter: Raynare continues to regret all her life choices. Ko-gil takes his time in enjoying making Raynare regret her life choices. Asia moves in with our interdimensional friends, and has her first crush on an unlikely person. Issei tries to get a Shishou. Rias is tired, and her fiance makes an appearance, making a fool out of himself. (He'll get his comeuppance.)