Update (3/25)
Sorry no new chapter yet, just a fix to chapter 6.
A guest review pointed out that the Great Hakurei Barrier was set up in 1885 and in A Blurred Vision, I set up the current date in Gensokyo as 1877 (Third to last sentence at the very bottom). I meant to put in 1887, but I was so engross with reading about the Satsuma Rebellion that I ended up putting 1877 instead!
Now normally, I would update a chapter that's filled with mistakes at the same time as a brand new chapter, but this is the one exception because it will ruin the time and dates in my fanfic. So many thanks, Guest reviewer! (Your question about Nelson will be at the very bottom so I don't accidentally spoil any new reader.)
Aside from that, nothing else has been changed.
A/N
First chapter of 2017. It's been awhile, you might not remember how the story went, so feel free to reread the whole thing, I usually do the same for all fanfics I read.
Yeah, bear with me on the slow updates, I usually left my finished chapters alone for at least 1 week to 1+ month because it's easier for me to find my mistakes.
Chapter 6
"What is this? Back in my day, we have these things called escalators." I muttered to myself as I struggled up the steps.
I sat down on the steps; I couldn't see what's at the top and what's at the bottom. I am still very blind. If all else failed, I have to do one thing that a true American would do; give up and find an easier way because we work hard to make things easier.
It didn't take long for me to decide to walk back down the steps because I gave up as soon as I sat down on the steps. I pressed the unlock button on my key fob and smiled, "I have technology on my side."
I started up the Honda CR-V which I affectionately named Honoka. Then I turned her off because I realized one thing; it's definitely disrepectful to just drive up the stairs and into shrine grounds on a steel beast. I stared at the stairs in dismay, "I just wasted time and energy for nothing, if this was a class, I'd get an F-." I said to myself.
I grabbed out a backpack, put some water bottles in it and resumed my climb up these steps of hell. Thirty minutes later, I think I am half way there, crawling up on all fours. I laid down on the steps and thought, "Does she even get visitors with these kinds of stairs?!"
Suddenly I heard a pair of feet landing near me, I look up at the steps above me and saw a blurry form of a little girl with horns. I swear, she smells like she's been drinking since birth. The closer she got, the more and more I can smell that sake.
For some strange reason, the smell of sake just gave me energy to get back up and speak. "For gods sake, I hope you're not drunk or otherwise the FBI, CIA, and NSA will try and arrest me for getting a kid drunk. I reserve the right to remain silent."
The drunk kid slurred her words, "you're that outssider Reimu was aiwting for right?"
I nodded, now that she was mere inches from me, I can make out the details; she wore a torn up blouse, and a purple skirt, her reindeer-like horns are a dead-giveaway that just screams out youkai.
I quickly thought, "Just what was Reimu doing to her? Is she into little girls? If she is, then that explains the torn up blouse. Wait or maybe Reimu got into a fight, lost, became loli-food, and now this is a bad ending where I get raped and eaten! The worse part is that I'm American and we Americans are... well fed."
Bonk!
I felt a tap on my forehead, I guess I spaced out. I looked at the object in front of me, it's some kind of weird-ass bottle that belongs in a museum.
The drunk smiled, "outsider, you're like totally ofut bof it." She jiggled the bottle, "drinpk out of this gourd, it'fs mightly good stuff."
I held the gourd and took a sniff; yep, it's sake.
I felt two hands on my shoulders rocking me; it's that drunk kid again, "'comn, drinkx, reimu's waiting ffor you and she's pissed."
"Heh, if this was an anime, I'm pretty sure there's a scene where I would start blushing because it's an indirect kiss. Just because I look like an anime character now doesn't mean I should act like one." I thought to myself and then I took a sip.
Suddenly I hear an irritated drunken voice from behind, "you calrl that drinking? you look older tahn Reimu, so drink more!"
With a forceful shove, I was overpowered by a loli of all things. It felt as if all of Niagara Falls came down on my mouth except instead of water, it was sake, insanely strong sake. This was definitely the strongest alcoholic drink I drank, instantly I felt like I was on top of the world, everything WAS SO CLEAR. The ordeal lasted about 5 seconds but it felt like 5 hours, I never liked alcohol because I can't hold my drinks very well.
As quickly as I was on top of the world, the world just came crashing down on me.
I opened my eyes and I'm still nearly blind, but I was lying on a futon and the sweet smell of incense was in the air. This can only mean one thing; I'm inside Reimu's shrine. I looked outside and judging by the light and the cold air blowing in, it's morning. I must have been out for a day.
Suddenly the futon moved around a bit and that drunk kid emerged out of the futon. She was covered from neck to toe in bed sheets, "that was a wild nigh,t i never knew you were so taqlented at lovemaking with two girls." She said that in a happy drunken voice.
"Two girls?" I whispered, I removed the cover and there was Reimu's bare back, instantly I covered her up. Then I noticed that my clothes are missing. I took a deep breath, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"This can't be happening! This fanfic is suppose to be T for teens!"
I pulled a pistol from thin air, jammed it in my mouth, and...
BANG!
I opened my eyes and I'm still nearly blind, but this time I was lying on a futon and the sweet smell of incense was in the air. This can only mean one thing; I'm inside Reimu's shrine. I looked outside and it's dark outside.
"Wow this must be the fastest hangover ever." I muttered. Then I lifted the bed sheets, my clothes on me, no naked lolis and shrine maidens, SAFE!
"Ara, ara~ it seems like you had a wonderful dream, you can thank me later." I look over to the direction of the voice, I don't even need my vision for this because there is only one woman I know that will say "ara, ara~", and that woman is Yukari.
"Wait, that dream!"
"Yes, yes, that dream. Isn't it great? I used on Reimu once and she couldn't sleep for a week." Yukari gave a thumbs up.
Immediately the sound of a door opening was heard, "Yukari, you gave another outsider that dream again?! Do you have to traumatize every single outsider you bring in?"
"Why yes, and he held up surprisingly well, then again that was to be expected."
"Wait you mean I'm not the first outsider?" I asked while I crawled out of the futon.
"Of course not. Most outsiders usually get eaten, the lucky ones either go the Human Village or find their way back." Reimu answered.
She faced Yukari, "Now, why are you here? Don't you have better things to do other than messing around with me and..."
I felt Reimu's gaze upon me, there was a long pause before I realized she forgot my name, and I answered, "Nelson Tristan Ryugu."
"Ara-ara~ Reimu, didn't you forget? Evening and night for me is like morning and afternoon for humans." Yukari clapped her hand twice, a gap opened on the floor next to her, and something rose out of it. I can see her blurry form sitting on it which meant it is a chair.
"Ah!" I heard a yelp from Reimu and suddenly both of us were sitting on some kind of sofa that came out of nowhere, courtesy of Yukari.
"Yukari, what is this about?" A displeased voice was heard next me, it was obiviously a ticked off Reimu.
I can hear the gap youkai sitting on the chair when she said, "I was going to explain why I brought him here and why he is important."
I pointed at myself, "Me? Important? I'm just a nobody that's trying to live his life until a pretty woman spirited me away into some kind of animeland, made me into an anime character, and took away my glasses."
"Yukari..." Reimu said in a menacing tone.
"Reimu, you know about the Hakurei family in the outside world right?" Asked Yukari.
"Yes, and your point is?"
"Back in the 19th century, the Hakurei family split into two; one that stayed in Japan and the other immigrated to America. Ever since that happened, both sides broke contacted with each other, you can say that it was a family feud. What was the feud about? Moving to America."
There was a brief pause, then I heard the sound of a drink falling out of a gap, and the sound of Yukari taking a sip before she continued.
"The Hakurei family in Japan has a long history of working with me to bring in the next shrine maiden or priest for Gensokyo's survival and they're famous youkai-hunters in Japan. The Hakurei family in America started out as farmers and then became a military family because of this choice, their magical abilities are very lacking." I felt Yukari's eyes on me, "That explains why you had great grandparents that fought in World War II. It's worth mentioning that both sides of the Hakurei family fought in that war. However, I was rather shocked when I met you."
"Shocked? Well you did a good job at hiding it." I thought to myself.
"Your parents were police officers and veterans that died in a terrorist attack, yet you did not stray into that path. Now why is that? Is it because you're a out-of-shape pig that plays MOBA games and drinks energy drinks all day? Or is it something else?"
Even though I despise MOBA games and energy drink, that comment still felt like a stab in the stomach because I am out-of-shape, but at least I am not a blob of fat, most people won't know until I take off my shirt to go swimming or when I'm sleeping with them in bed after an intense encounter.
I took a deep breath, "I despise those games and drinks. The reason why my parents didn't want me to follow their career is because they don't want me to see what they saw in war."
I felt someone poking my sides; it was Reimu, she looked at me and I swore I think she is grinning. "Fatty..."
"Please don't tell me my parents told you bring me here just to lower my self-esteem..." I muttered.
I suddenly stood up from the sofa after processing that history lesson Yukari gave out, "Wait, Hakurei family that immigrated to America, that sounds like my family!"
Yukari dropped her drink, "Wait, did you know that your mom was a Hakurei?"
I smiled and answered, "Nope, I called her 'mom' til the day she died."
"Pfft... ha, ha, ha, ha!" Yukari laughed, "It's really hard to believe you're a Hakurei because you're as clueless as a Kochiya! Oh boy, this is gonna be interesting."
I crossed my arms and pouted, "No fair, I was a kid when both my parents died, I didn't know any better." I looked at Reimu, she looked back at me and I can't make out what her expression is. I looked back at Yukari, "You know, I'm going to have to call bullshit on that part, it's almost like you're telling me that everyone with 'Smith' as a last name is related."
"Ara?" Yukari sounded a little confused.
"I have to agree with Nelson on that part." Reimu chimed in.
"Ara?!" Yukari went from being confused to being shocked.
"Oh wow, I never saw a panicking Yukari before." Reimu stated, "I wish you can see this Nelson, it's amusing and cute."
I heard Yukari sigh, "You know, I was hoping I wasn't going to do this, but you left me no choice."
Suddenly, my hands felt strange, it felt like I was touching two mounds...
"W-w-what are you doing?! Get your grubby hands off of me!"
Instantly, I let go, it was a very familiar feel and now she definitely knows. I dragged my hand out of the gap and raised them up like I was surrendering. "Let's be rational, that was-"
"That was the same feeling as last time."
I waved my hands frantically, "I've seen anime clips on Vidtube, I know where this is going, just think rationally and talk things out!"
I felt several danmaku bullets whizzed past me and then a girly wilhelm scream from Yukari. After that, there is an awkward silence.
"Well, I did not expect that." I said in relief, I guess just because Gensokyo looks like an anime universe does not mean the people should behave like one. "So what happened? I can't really see anything." I asked in an attempt to break the silence.
"I shot Yukari and she fell back into her gap." I can hear some movement it was probably Reimu shifting away from me, "I-I-I know that was an accident and it was all because of Yukari's stupid schemes."
A familiar voice rang out, "Ara? Stupid scheme?"
"Back for more?" Asked Reimu, I can feel magical energy filling up around her, it felt very warm.
"Ack!" Suddenly that magical energy disappeared, "Yukari let me go!" the shrine maiden screamed.
I felt my third hand holding on my right hand. Immediately, I panicked and calmly said, "Why do I have a third hand?"
"Silly Nelson, that's Reimu's hand." Stated Yukari.
"What is this?!" Reimu exclaimed as she let go of my hand.
"I guess it's time for some reintroductions; Reimu..." I heard the sound of a fan being pulled out, Yukari is probably going to cover her face.
"Ah!" I heard Reimu screamed and then she is up against me; Yukari probably pushed her.
"Nelson Tristan Ryugu is a male version of you." I heard the sound of a fan being closed, "You see, when a person from an alternative universe touches the original person, they will realize that they both feel the same way."
Reimu spoke, "You know Yukari that makes perfect sense, but..." suddenly I felt her jam her finger on my stomach, "How can this piggy here be me? I mean, he's fat, he's older than me by at least 7 years, his eyes are dead, and he doesn't even behave like me!"
"Hey, I'm only 10 pounds above the average, that's not even fat!" I fired back, it feels like they completely blowing this up.
"That's where you're wrong Reimu, the reason he is like that is because he's living in America, the most obese country in the world."
"Hey Yukari, we're the 10th fattest country in the world now." I corrected.
"Nelson, hush." Yukari continued, "Also, Nelson wouldn't be fat if he wasn't a lazy slob."
Each comment they made felt a dagger being jammed into my chest, everyone here is very savage with their words.
"Like you, Reimu!" Yukari said that in a happy tone.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Reimu said in a aggessive, but nervous tone.
"Peekaboo~" The gap youkai sang as she forced herself onto the shrine maiden.
"God damn it Yukari! Stop! That tickles!" The shrine maiden started to laugh.
Fortunately for me, Reimu is still on top of me, so I can see what Yukari is doing. Instinctively, I look away as Yukari stripped the poor girl.
The gap youkai pinches the shrine maiden's arm, "Reimu, look at that flabby skin on your arms. I'm disappointed in you; if only you didn't lay in that kotatsu all day." Yukari stated in disappointed as she let go.
"Shut up Yukari, you're not my mother!" Reimu shouted.
A vein popped on Yukari's forehead and she snapped, "Ara? How can you say that? I love you just as much as any mother would! Reimu, who was the person who nursed you back to health when you caught the flu because you slept in the kotatsu with the door open during winter? Me! And do you know where those 20000 yen donations came from? Me!" It felt like I was listening to a mom arguing with a teenaged daughter.
There is a tense silence and then a meek voice spoke up, "Sorry Yukari..."
Yukari happily replied, "I forgive you Reimu." then she gave a Reimu a headpat.
Then I felt her gaze on me, "Nelson, do not say ANYTHING about what you just saw." I gave her a thumbs up and she continued, "Can you imagine Gensokyo's strongest youkai taking care of a human like she was her own daughter? Most youkai will see that as a weakness."
Yukari held Reimu by her shoulders, "Now going back on the topic, the true reason why I brought Nelson to meet you is because he would make a good suitor for you!"
"What?!" Both me and Reimu shouted at the same time.
"He's older than me!"
"She's not even legal yet and this is incest! And didn't you said we're both lazy bums? How does that make us a good couple!"
"My dear Nelson, this is Gensokyo, not the outside world. I hope you enjoy fucking with a younger girly version of yourself."
"Fuck you Yukari" I thought to myself.
"And Reimu, I hope you enjoy fucking with an older manly version of yourself. I ship this pairing~" Yukari sank into the ground and disappeared.
Suddenly there was this dreaded sinking feeling, moments later the sofa disappeared, and both of us were on the ground.
"Y-U-K-A-R-I..." The shrine maiden said this like she was about to blow up. Moments later, she took a very deep breath, "She's probably just messing with us."
"Really? With which part?" I asked.
"The part where she wants us together." Reimu stated.
SNAP
A twig snapped, Reimu got off of me, and looked in the general direction.
"Um, um, I didn't mean eavesdrop, I just wanted to *sniff, sniff*" A feeble, but very familiar voice rang out.
"I recognize that voice, Wakasagihime is that you?" I asked.
"Nelson, Reimu, I didn't know you people were like that, I-I-I..." Wakasagihime never finished that sentence because she flew off. I can hear her soft quiet weeping as she sped away.
I sighed, "I'll go over and talk some sense into her."
I got up from the ground and Reimu tugged me on the shoulder, "Are you an idiot?"
"Well Yukari did drag me to this magical place before I got my bachelor's degree." I replied back.
There was a brief pause from the shrine maiden, probably because she doesn't know what I was talking about, "What in the world is a... oh you know what? Forget it, don't you know that youkai are out and about at night? They'll eat you alive."
"I have a car." I said, I seriously doubt a youkai can handle being struck by a civilian's greatest weapon other than a firearm; a four wheel metal box that weighs over 2 tons.
"Oh that metal thing?" Reimu asked, she let go of me and started to dress herself.
I nodded.
Reimu continued on, "There are youkai that can lift up mountains, do you think that metal wagon will stop them? If you think technology can stop a youkai then explain why soldiers in the human village refuse to expand out into the forests? They have those weird muskets that can fire more than one shot very quickly. Even before that village got spirited away into Gensokyo, before the spell card rules came into effect, those muskets are just a minor improvement over the black powder muskets used before."
Then I remembered what happened to me and Wakasagihime when I drove to the village; I ran over a youkai and she was just pissed.
I felt a tap from Reimu, "Hey, stop spacing out. It's getting late, I'm not going to let you go off and get eaten. Go do that when there's light."
"Say, are you going to escort and protect me from those youkai if I go tomorrow?" I asked.
She harshly repied, "Why? What is happening between you and her is not my problem, go bother someone else about that." Reimu walked away, she is probably standing in the doorway, but I can't see her without glasses, "Besides, as a Hakurei, I disapprove of this."
"Reimu, I dated and slept with girls in the past, there is no way Wakasagihime is having one of those 'love at first sight' moments, when we first met, I have a feeling that she's just really shy." Upon saying that, I can heard Reimu's breathing changed a bit, it sounds like she's irritated by what I said, "What?"
"So outsiders are unfaithful, got it. Now I have to come with you." She said with a hint of disgust, "So I can warn her about you."
I was confused, "Umm okay I guess?"
"I can't believe it, Yukari brings in a suppose 'man' version of me and he's a cheating bastard." She muttered.
"Wait, what? I think you're misunderstanding this, I have you know that the men out-numbered women in where I lived, because of that most women around my age and younger go through men like used underwear!"
In layman terms, women in the city I live in have the power because there isn't a lot of them, so they get to chose who to date and marry. I can't call myself a bad person and many people consider me as a well behaved man, but usually what happens is that the girls I date usually just move on to the next guy because I'm not very exciting. This happened so much that I'm pretty much numb to love because it's just a fake.
"It's the opposite in Gensokyo." Reimu stated, "I don't like to admit this, but most people that wind up in Gensokyo are usually men, they're usually raped by youkai and then get eaten youkai. Nelson, you are very lucky to have ran into Wakasagihime because she is one of the least dangerous."
"Well, that's a scary thought..." I muttered. I crawled back into my futon, "You win, I'll just sleep til morning and we'll look for her."
I turned on my phone and activated the alarm app. Immediately I felt Reimu look over my shoulder.
"Huh, 2040? Interesting." She whispered because she noticed the date on my phone.
"Wait, this isn't 2040?" I asked.
"No, this is September 1887, just a decade after the Imperial government killed SaigÅ Takamori and crushed his rebellion." Reimu answered.
"Well that explains the repeating firearms and gating guns the village has." I muttered, "Well, I have a lot of questions to be answered, but I know better then to ask a teenage girl. G'night."
"Good night." She said, I can hear her walking out as I drift into darkness.
A/N
I originally wanted to wait for Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia to come out on March 30th so I can start reading it (I'm hoping it's another character fact book thing that tells us more about our favorite touhou characters) and using anything in that book for my story. Then I realized that even if the book comes, then I won't be able to read Japanese and I'll end up waiting for someone to translate it. So with that in mind, I'll release this chapter.
I think I made something that isn't canon (actually the entire fanfic isn't canon to began with!). It's 1877 in Gensokyo, but it's 2040 in Nelson's (NTR's) world. By the way, 2040 isn't a number I made up, if you go back to the first chapter, then you can see that OC stated that his 2001 Honda CR-V is 39 years old, so if you add 39 to 2001, you'll get 2040.
Shocking, isn't it?
Self-insert OC X Touhou Character?
I don't even know, heck in my outline I actually split it into three branches (each with a different ending, if you watched a lot of anime, then you can probably guess the three endings) because I can't really decide if I wanted a pairing or not. I'll pick one of the branchers when we get there, of course, I won't tell you guys when we get there; that's spoilers.
Reviewer Stuff
A reviewer once asked me if Alice is dead in this fanfic, I don't know if I should put his name up (but you can find the review). Well, I could say no and end it there, but let's make things more complicated then it is.
Alice is already in this story, but in a very vague and obscure because I didn't even drop any hints or descriptions in the second chapter because I considered her to be a minor character until she is properly introduced to self-insert OC. You don't have to reread the 2nd chapter, I'll just quote them right below:
*Start quotes*
"Heh, I wonder if I can borrow it ze~"
"Marisa, don't stoop that low!"
"Yare yare daze~"
*End quotes*
The first and third quote is Marisa and the second one (middle one) is Alice, but the story is being told in first person and that means if the OC doesn't know who it is, then the readers will be just as confused.
In other words, Self-insert OC is an unreliable narrator, he'll get things wrong because he doesn't know any better.
Guest Reviewer
"Is Nelson from the future, or is he from an alternate timeline since you mention both."
Yes, Nelson is from the future, but it is not our future nor it is the future of the Outside World that everyone in Gensokyo is familiar with (think of him as being from an alternate timeline in the future).