Kat (POV)
I feel myself being put into a bed. I pay them no attention.
Could what Narcissa said be true? Could I be a Malfoy?
"Kat? Are you alright?" Nico whispers.
I ignore him. I can't deny we look alike, and the dates are suspicious, but Draco being my brother? Would the universe really be that cruel?
"Kat?" Nico asks more urgently.
"Pain." I mutter. "Chocolate."
"What spell did he use?" Nico asks urgently, ignoring my request.
I think back. "I think he said crucio."
His eyes widen, before muttering "I am going to kill him."
I groan, rolling over.
"I'll get Will." He tells me before disappearing.
Could it be true?
Will (POV)
"Hannah, last time I checked writing love poems for Lockhart isn't homework." I sigh.
"It is actually." She says with a dreamy expression.
"Fine, not homework worth doing." I tell her disgusted.
Before Hannah could reply Nico comes running toward me, and pull me away from her.
"Wha-"
"Firstly don't kill me." Nico tell me. "Secondly, we need help." He tells me, pulling me up the stairs and into our room.
Sprawled across my bed is Kat, looking deathly pale, wearing robes that appear to be Zacharias.
"What's going on?" I ask, pulling out my first aid kit.
"She wanted to get information on the Malfoys so she polyjuiced herself as Draco and I shadow travelled her to Malfoy manor." He rambles, looking guilty.
I give him an angry look. "What happened?"
"I don't know. She said he used the cruciatus curse." He explains.
I gape at him. I had read about the effects of the torture curse… to use it on a child.
I run over to my trunk and start pulling out potion, before starting to work.
After about an hour of healing potions and feeding Kat chocolate she finally feels well enough to talk.
"It' can't be." She mutters.
"What can't?" Nico asks, sitting next to her.
She's silent again before telling us what happened in the manor.
"You're a Malfoy." I mutter.
She nods.
I pull her into a hug, her chin resting on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Kat."
Surprisingly, Nico wraps his arms around both of us.
"Aren't you angry that I'm a death eater's daughter?" she whimpers.
"We can't choose our parents." Nico tell her.
Kat (POV)
It had been two days since what I have begun to call "The Incident" and I am absolutely sick of Will and Nico's pitying looks and my bloody brain not shutting up about my obvious resemblance to Draco, or the newly uncovered information I am on my way to repressing.
"Hey Nico." I greet innocently, batting my eyelashes as I enter his dorm.
"What do you want, Kat?" he replies instantly, putting down his book.
I fake a look of offence. "How dare you assume I'm after something? Can't a girl just greet her bestest friend without being accused of being after something?"
"Not when that girl is you, and it is especially hard to consider anyone innocent when they are wearing a "Fuck: You. Me. Off" shirt." He replies.
I look back down to my black skinny jeans, combat boots, lovely t'shirt, Nico's stolen Avaitor jacket and duffel bag.
"Alright fine. I need a ride." I admit.
"NO!" he yells, throwing down his book.
"Didn't you listen to Madam Pince's lecture on proper book care?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.
"I'm not your Taxi! Especially after what happened last time. Will would kill me! And stop stealing my clothes!" he yells.
"The big bad Nico di Angelo is scared a blonde glowstick?" I snort. "And I'm not going anywhere dangerous. It's one of my muggle friend's birthday and I haven't seen her since she moved to America. It will be completely safe and normal." I promise.
He seems to consider this for a moment before once again answering "No."
I puff out my bottom lip, and grow my eyes, forcing tears to appear in the edges. "Please. I just want to be normal for once. Without having to think of my murderous racist family." I sniff.
His gaze softens. "You're a manipulative bitch, you know that?"
"I'm aware." I smirk, losing the sob story. "So I take it that's a yes."
He lets out a dramatic sigh. "What's the address?"
I tell him my friend Emma's address, before looping my arm through his. "Beam me up Scotty!"
"I hate your references." He mutters, before pulling us into the shadows.
We stumble out of a shadowy wall. I will never get used to that.
"I'll be back at five here. Stay out of trouble." He tells me with a disapproving look before once again melting into the shadows.
"I wish I could do that." I mutter, before walking out of the alley way to see Emma's familiar house.
"I'M BACK BITCH!" I yell, walking straight through the front door.
She rushes out of her room, tackling me into a hug.
"Wow! Please refrain from stabbing me with the torture devices you call hair." I tell her, hugging her back.
She pulls away smirking. Her black hair gelled into spikes all over her head, her big brown eyes twinkling with mischief behind her large glittery glasses. Her style is subtle as usual with her fluffy pink jumper, black leather mini skirt and platform shoes that probably cost more than Miss Hannigan's apartment. I can't help but agree with Sadie's description of her. She really does look like an Indian daughter of Elton John.
I missed my normal friends.
"Kat! I thought you were staying at your boarding school? And how is it everyone gets to leave this shite town but me? First you flying off to boarding school then Sadie leaving for America with that hot brother of hers."
"Don't call people's brothers hot. It's weird." I tell her. I suddenly have the imagine of her meeting Draco, before shaking it off. Nope, I don't have a brother.
"I came to surprise you guys. It is the Easter hols after all." I remind her. "Though I do have a train to catch at five." I lie.
"No problem, plenty of time to mock Candy Kane." She tells me. "Now come show me what you bought her, because if you show up without a present she will shove a candy cane up your arse."
I smirk at our old nickname for her. "Don't worry. I got her these brilliant hair dyes that… well you'll see. And of course a ton of sweets."
"Brilliant. We better get going, and leave your duffle just take the present." She tells me, picking up her own large parcel. "Now tell me. Are there any cute boys at this boarding school of yours?"
I wrinkle my nose. "Sadly not." I tell her, taking my present and wand out of my bag, sneaking my wand into the holster in Nico's jacket's sleeve.
"Shame." She sighs. "What about those friends you mentioned? The Italian and the surfer?"
"Ew." I groan, walking out the door.
"BYE MUMS!" She yells up the stairs before shamming it shut. "Let's go."
She continues to hassle me about boys the rest of the way to Sadie's grandparents. But stops just around the corner as we hear a loud bang.
"What in Merlin's name was that?" I mutter, earning an odd look from Emma.
Suddenly my old friend Sadie is crashing into us, her clothes and hair a mess. Today her caramel hair is streaked with purple and she is dressed in her usual black ensemble, with a leather jacket, black jeans and spiked combat boots for crushing the hopes and dreams of others.
When she sees us her blue eyes widen.
"Sadie!" I exclaim. "What crawled up your arse? What's going on?"
"No time! Come on!" she yells, pulling us to our feet and sprinting away from her Grandparents house.
"Nice to see you too." Emma grumbles. "Where are rushing off-"
I hear a loud bellow behind us, causing me to leap to my feet. After almost two years at Hogwarts you learn to run when you're told.
"Explain later" Sadie huffs. "Unless you'd like to be ripped apart by a god named Bobby, follow me!"
I didn't need to be told twice. Wasn't this meant to be my normal trip?
We ran down South Colonnade, the roaring behind us almost drowned out by Emma's complaining.
"Sadie!" Emma whines. "Is this one of your jokes?"
"It's no joke." Sadie tells us "And for god's sake, lose those shoes!"
Emma looks appalled. "You know how much these cost?"
"Honestly, Sadie." I put in. "Don't you know Emma would rather be eaten by a giant monkey than go barefoot."
"That might just happen!" Sadie squeaks. "Lose the shoes."
Another roar is let out behind us, diverting our attention to the giant baboon behind us that appears to be wearing Sadie's grandfather's clothes, ripping a pub door off of its hinges and sniffing inside. Panicked patrons smashed through a window and ran off down the street, still holding their pints. A policeman ran toward the commotion.
The baboon, then turned and ran the other way, yelling into his radio for reinforcements.
When faced with magical events, muggles seem unable to see the truth. Whatever spell this is, it's a powerful one. I wonder what the muggles think they're seeing.
"Sadie," I begin. "Why the hell is going on?"
"Babi," she answers "The bloody god of baboons. He's taken over my granddad. And he wants to kill us."
Wait god? What in merlin's name is happening?
"Excuse me!" Emma exclaims "Did you just say a baboon god wants to kill us?"
What is my life?
The baboon roared, blinking and squinting as if he had forgotten what he was doing.
Maybe we could sneak away without being noticed. That thought is destroyed by the yells of "HERE! HERE!" from above.
Wonderful. The baboon had air support.
"Two gods, actually." Sadie tells us, making my brain hurt. "Now, unless there are any more questions—run!"
Emma quickly kicked off her shoes, and I tossed aside her present, making Sadie pout and we dash off away from the gods.
We race each other down the streets, jumping over walls and hiding against buildings and flipping over trashcans. I resist the urge to yell "PARCOUR!"
We paused at a fork in the road, considering which way to run. In front of us stand a small medieval church.
I hear a whisper of Sadie's name, causing me to reach for my wand out instinct.
Suddenly a familiar figure is looming over us from a graveyard.
Sadie seems to calm down at his presence while Emma trips over, her eyes fixed on him.
"Nico?!" I yell, causing Sadie to look confused, and the side of the boys lip to twitch.
"You have me confused with someone else. Though I did base my mortal form after him a few years back when we met in the New Orleans graveyards."
He and Nico are almost identical apart from this god appearing a few years older. I also note an under natural look about him, his skin to flawless, his eyes to dark, his hair too perfect. It's creepy.
"Wait you're a god? Nico never mentioned anything about knowing any gods!" I yell, causing his lip to once again twitch.
"Strange." He tells me, not seeming to really mean it.
"Anyway." Sadie begins, snapping her fingers impatiently. "It's about time someone friendly showed up. There's a baboon and a vulture trying to kill us. Would you please sort them out?"
I raise my eyebrows at her. I don't know much about gods but bossing them around doesn't seem like the best idea.
The Nico clone purses his lips. "Come into my territory." He tells her, opening the graveyard gate.
"We need to talk, and there isn't much time."
Emma stumbled again "Your, um, territory?"
Of course the god of graveyards or whatever is buddies with Nico.
"Shhh." Sadie hisses, looking as though she is trying to look composed.
I hear a shrill voice roaring down the street. This way! This way!"
"Wait here." Sadie tells us, before following Nico clone into the graveyard.
"I thought you said Nico wasn't hot." Emma says to me.
"Really?" that's what you got out of this. "We're being chased by two psychotic gods and one of our best friends is chatting up a death god and you want to talk about my friend?"
"Okay point." She admits.
"And Nico is not my type." I groan, poking my tongue out in disgust.
She rolls her eyes. "Anyway what the hell is going on?"
"Gods are real apparently." I shrug. "Ask Sadie if we survive this."
"Optimistic as ever I see." Emma mutters. "And how are you so calm about this?"
"Let's just say I've gotten pretty used to weird since I started attending Hogwarts."
"HOGWAR-" Emma begins, not being able to help the smirk appearing on her face.
I raise my (middle) finger to my lips in a shushing gesture as the shrill yells get closer.
The Baboon Sadie had called Babi seems to have spotted us, ploughing directly towards us.
I reach for my wand, ready to petrify his ass.
"SADIE!" Emma yells.
I clutch onto my wand, looking over to Emma's frightened face. Maybe I should wait for Sadie, I don't want to risk getting expelled.
"Sadie, stop snogging the god and get over here!" I yell.
Eventually Sadie rushes out of the graveyard, no god at her side.
"Who was that guy? God, he was hot." Emma tells her.
"A god, yes." Sadie mutters, smiling stupidly.
I roll my eyes at her lovesick look. Great we actually were ditched for a snog with a god.
We run alongside Sadie as she hums Happy Birthday to herself. Merlin, I hate her sometimes.
She leads us into the underground, not even bothering to explain what happened.
"Hey Candy Kane!" I yell. "What the hell is going on?!"
"Gods, duh." She sighs. "Anubis said to-"
"Anubis!" Emma squeaks. "Isn't he usually… you know, evil."
"Oh please that's just the movies. He's just the god of burials and graveyards."
"Well that's reassuring." I mutter.
"Anyway he told me we need to find a bridge, so we're going this way. No hurry up before we miss our train."
I sigh, deciding to just go along with it. "Whatever."
We narrowly manage to jump onto the last train as it's doors begin to close.
"Sadie Kane." Emma gasps as we take our seats. "Will you please tell us what's going on?"
Sadie's always been weird, but this is a bit far. Then again I can't really judge.
Emma's feet were cut and blistered from running barefoot. Her pink jumper looked like mangled
poodle fur, and her glasses had lost several rhinestones. Sadies's hair is a mess, her makeup smudged and her jeans ripped. My plait had come undone at some point, and my combat boots had been caked in mud. Thankfully Nico's jacket is unscaved. I don't know how I'd explain ruining his favourite jacket from the 1940's while being chased by gods.
I attempt to catch my breath, suddenly wishing Hogwarts had a PE class. I am way out of shape.
"That boy kissed you!" I eventually get out, smirking evilly at her.
Emma's eyes widen.
"I will explain." Sadie promises "I know I'm a horrible friend for dragging you both into this. But please, give me a moment. I need to concentrate."
"Concentrate on what?" Emma demands.
"Emma, shut it. She said to let her concentrate."
Sadie closes her eyes, apparently deep in thought, pushing her hand out several times before it disappears before reappearing holding a large bag.
"That's brilliant." Emma breathes. "How did you do that?"
"Um…magic." She admits.
"No shit." I mutter. What are the chances two of us would be magical?
After a minute of silence Sadie begins tearing up.
"Hey, Candy Kane." I say softly, placing my hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be alright. We're not judging you or anything. Hell, that would be hypocritical of me."
She looks up, a confused expression etched on her face. "Huh?"
I bite my lip. "Right, you don't know. I'm kind of a witch."
"If you substitute a letter." Emma mutters, earning herself a kick in the shin.
I take my wand out of the sleeve, pointing it at Emma's ripped jumper.
"Repero!" I exclaim, causing her jumper to stitch itself back together.
"Wha- how did you-" Emma mutters, studying her jumper.
"My boarding school is a bit more special than I made it out to be. It's a school for magic." I explain, making their eyes widen.
"You bitch! I've been feeling all guilty for not telling you about being a magican and you've been off cackling and riding broomsticks!"
"Magican?" I gasp. "And too right I have. I'm the seeker in my house's Quidditch team."
They share confused looks.
"Am I the only normal one here?!" Emma whines.
"Sweetie, you'll never be normal." Sadie tells her mockingly, patting her on the shoulder.
"Okay you explain first." I tell Sadie
"This will sound absolutely mad." She warns, looking nervous.
"Trust me, compared to my story it will be as boring as my history teacher: a ghost who bored himself to death a hundred years ago and just kept teaching. No one's had the heart to tell him yet."
They snort with laughter, probably thinking I'm kidding. Oh I wish.
Sadie then begin to explain the craziness that has been her life. From gods to pet crocodiles to Apothes.
Once she was finished we fall into silence, Emma and I sharing looks of shock.
"I know it seems impossible," Sadie tells us "but—"
"Sadie, we believe you," Emma tells her.
She blinks "You do?"
"'Course we do," I tell her. "There's not much I wouldn't believe anymore, besides I don't think I've ever heard you talk that seriously about anything. You—you've changed."
"It's just I'm a magician now, and…and I can't believe how stupid that sounds." She tries to argue.
"Oh I know." I tell her.
"It's more than that." Emma tells her. "You seem older. More mature."
I can't help but agree with her, even though the idea of Sadie being mature is plain laughable.
I look across them. We really have grown apart over the last couple years, Sadie becoming a magican and moving to American, me going to Hogwarts and meeting Nico and Will. Emma's grown into a normal teenager all on her own. We're not the same anyone.
"Your boyfriend is amazing." Emma decides to add, making me snort.
"He's not my…" Sadie begins, before giving up. "Oh forget it."
"My turn then." I begin, before the carriage slows to a halt.
"I'll just tell you if we survive then." I sigh.
"Oh no, this is Waterloo station." Sadie tells us. "I meant to get off at London Bridge. I need a bridge."
"Can't we backtrack?" I ask.
A roar from the tunnel behind us answered that question. Looking back, I saw a large shape with
Glittering silver fur loping along the tracks. Its foot touched the third rail, and sparks flew; but the baboon god lumbered on, unfazed. As the train braked, Babi started to gain on us.
"No going back." Sadie tells us "We'll have to make it to Waterloo Bridge."
"That's half a mile from the station!" Emma protests "What if it catches us?"
Sadie rummages through her bag, pulling out a long staff, the lion tip glowing with golden light.
"Then I suppose we'll have to fight." Sadie tells us.
I grasp my wand tighter. "Bloody fantastic."
Maybe I should describe Waterloo Station as it was before or after we destroyed it? The main concourse was massive. It had a polished marble floor, loads of shops and kiosks, and a glass-and-girder ceiling high enough so that a helicopter could fly about inside comfortably.
Rivers of people flowed in and out, mixing, separating, and occasionally colliding as they made their way to various escalators and platforms.
When I was small, the station building had rather frightened me. I worried that the giant Victorian clock hanging from the ceiling might fall and crush me.
The masses of commuters standing mesmerized under the departure boards, watching for their trains, reminded me of a mob in a zombie movie—which, granted, I shouldn't have watched as a young child, but I was always rather precocious.
At any rate, my mates and I were racing through the main station, pushing our way toward the nearest exit, when a stairwell behind us exploded.
Crowds scattered as Babi the Fraking monkey God (seriously what has my life become?) climbed from the rubble. Businessmen screamed, dropping their briefcases and sprinting for their lives. Sadie, Emma, and I pressed against the side of the Paperchase kiosk to avoid getting trampled by a group of tourists yelling in Italian.
Babi howled. His fur was covered with grime and soot from his run through the tunnels. Sadie's Grampa's cardigan was ripped to shreds on his arm, but, miraculously, his glasses were still on his head.
He sniffed the air, probably trying to catch her scent. Then a dark shadow passed overhead.
"Where are you going, Sadie Kane?" Nekhbet shrieked. She soared through the terminal, swooping down on the already panicked crowds. "Would you fight by running away? You are not worthy!"
An announcer's calm voice echoed through the terminal: "The 8:02 train for Basingstoke will arrive on platform three."
"ROOOAR!" Babi swatted a bronze statue of some poor famous bloke and knocked his head clean off. A policeman ran forward, armed with a pistol. Before I could yell at him to stop, he fired a shot at Babi. Emma screamed. The bullet deflected off Babi's fur as if it were made of titanium, and shattered a nearby McDonald's sign. The officer fainted dead away.
I'd never seen so many people clear out of a terminal so quickly. I considered following them, but decided it would be too dangerous. I couldn't have these insane gods killing loads of innocent people just because my friend was in their midst; and if we tried to join the exodus, we'd only get stuck or crushed in a stampede.
"Sadie, look!" I pointed up, and Emma yelped. Nekhbet sailed into the ceiling girders and perched there with the pigeons. She glared down at us and cried to Babi, "Here she is, my dear! Here!"
"I wish she'd shut up," Sadie muttered.
"Isis was foolish to choose you!" Nekhbet yelled. "I will feed on your entrails!"
"ROOOOAR!" said Babi, in hearty agreement.
"The 8:14 train for Brighton is delayed," said the announcer. "We apologize for the inconvenience."
Babi had seen us now. His eyes smoldered with primal rage, but I also saw something of Gramps in his expression. The way he furrowed his brow and jutted out his chin—just as Gramps did when he got angry at the telly and yelled at the rugby players. Seeing that expression on the baboon god almost made me lose my nerve.
I wasn't going to die here. I wasn't going to let these two repulsive gods hurt my friends or kill innocent people.
Babi lumbered toward us. Now that he'd found us, he didn't seem in any hurry to kill us. He lifted his head and made a deep barking sound to the left and right, as if calling out, summoning friends for dinner. Emma's fingers dug into my arm.
The crowds had mostly cleared out now. No other police were in sight. Perhaps they'd fled, or perhaps they were all on their way to Canary Wharf, not realizing the problem was now here.
"We're not going to die," Sadie promised us. "Emma, hold my staff."
"Your—Oh, right." She took the staff gingerly as if she'd handed her a rocket launcher, which I suppose it could've been with the proper spell.
"Kat," she ordered, "watch the baboon."
"Watching the baboon," I said. "Rather hard to miss the baboon."
She rummaged through her magic bag, desperately taking inventory.
"Sadie…" I warned. Gripping my wand
Babi had jumped onto the roof of the Body Shop. He roared, and smaller baboons began to appear from every direction—climbing over the heads of fleeing commuters, swinging down from the girders, popping out of the stairwells and shops. There were dozens of them, all wearing black-and-silver basketball jerseys. Was basketball some sort of baboon sport?
They began to close in, snarling as they prepared to pounce.
Sadie pulled a block of wax from her bag. Then put it back and continue digging until she found a potion vile, she shook the potion. The liquid glowed with a sickly green light. Bits of gunk swirled inside. She uncorked it. The stuff smelled worse than Nekhbet.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Disgusting," she said. "Animation scroll blended with oil, water, and a few secret ingredients. Came out a bit chunky, I'm afraid."
"Animation?" Emma asked. "You're going to summon cartoons?"
"That would be brilliant," she admitted. "But this is more dangerous. If I do it right, I can ingest a great deal of magic without burning myself up."
"And if you do it wrong?" Liz asked.
I handed them each an amulet of Isis. "Hold on to these. When I say Go, run for the taxi stands. Don't stop."
"Sadie," Emma protested, "what on earth—"
She gagged down the potion.
Above us, Nekhbet cackled. "Give up! You cannot oppose us!" The shadow of her wings seemed to spread over the entire concourse, making the last of the commuters flee in panic and weighing me down with fear.
A few of the baboons got distracted by the smell of food and raided the McDonald's. Several others were chasing a train conductor, beating him with rolled-up fashion magazines.
Sadly, most of the baboons were still focused on us. They made a loose ring around the Paperchase kiosk. From his command station atop the Body Shop, Babi howled—a clear command to attack.
A wave of golden light rippled through the concourse. The troop of baboons hesitated. Babi
stumbled on the Body Shop roof. Even Nekhbet squawked and faltered on the ceiling girders.
All around the station, inanimate objects began to move. Backpacks and briefcases suddenly
learned to fly. Magazine racks, gum, sweets, and assorted cold drinks exploded out of the shops and
attacked the baboon troop. The decapitated bronze head from the statue shot out of nowhere and
slammed into Babi's chest, knocking him backward through the roof of the Body Shop. A tornado of pink Financial Times newspapers swirled toward the ceiling. They engulfed Nekhbet, who stumbled blindly and fell shrieking from her perch in a flurry of pink and black.
"Go!" Sadie told us. We ran for the exit, weaving around baboons who were much too busy to
stop us. One was being pummeled by a half-dozen bottles of sparkling water. Another was fending off a briefcase and several kamikaze BlackBerrys.
Babi tried to rise, but a maelstrom of Body Shop products surged around him—lotions, loofa
sponges, and shampoos all battering him, squirting in his eyes, and trying to give him an extreme
makeover. He bellowed in irritation, slipped, and fell back into the ruined shop. I doubted her spell would do the gods any permanent damage, but with luck it would keep them occupied for a few minutes.
Sadie, Emma, and I made it out of the terminal. With the entire station evacuated, I didn't really
expect any cabs to be in the taxi queue, and indeed the curb was empty. I resigned myself to running all the way to Waterloo Bridge, though Emma had no shoes.
"Look!" I said.
"Oh, well done, Sadie," Emma said.
"What?" Sadie asked. "What did I do?"
Then she noticed the chauffeur—an extremely short, scruffy man standing at the end of the drive in a black suit, holding a placard that read KANE.
Emma said, "Come on!" and we sprinted toward the little man. Sadie had no choice but to follow.
but the closer we got, the less eager I was to meet him. He was shorter than me by half and uglier than anyone else on the planet. His facial features were positively Neanderthal. Under his thick furry mono-brow, one eye was bigger than the other. His beard looked as if it had been used to scrape greasy pots. His skin was poxy with red welts, and his hair looked like a bird's nest that had been set on fire then stomped out.
When he saw Sadie, he scowled, which did nothing to help his appearance.
"About time!" His accent was American. He belched into his fist, and the smell of curry nearly
knocked me over. "Bast's friend? Sadie Kane?"
"Um…possibly." she decided "Just by the way, we have two gods trying to kill us."
The warty little man smacked his lips, clearly unimpressed. "Guess you'll want a bridge, then."
He turned toward the curb and yelled, "BOO!"
A black Mercedes limousine appeared out of nowhere, as if it had been scared into existence.
The chauffeur glanced back at us and arched his brow. "Well? Get in!"
I'd never been in a limousine before. I hope most are nicer than the one we took. The backseat
was littered with takeaway curry containers, old fish-and-chip paper, crisps bags, and various dirty socks.
Despite this, Emma, Sadie, and I crammed together in the back, because none of us dared ride up front.
You may think I was mad to get in a car with a strange man. You're right, of course. But I didn't have much choice. The potion had worn off, and the strain of releasing so much
magic had made Sadie lightheaded and wobbly-legged. I wasn't sure she could've walked to Waterloo Bridge without passing out.
The chauffeur floored the gas and barreled out of the station. The police had cordoned it off, but
our limo swerved around the barricades, past a cluster of BBC news vans and a mob of spectators, and no one paid us any attention.
The chauffeur started whistling a tune that sounded like "Short People." His head barely reached the headrest. All I could see of him was a grubby nest of hair and a set of furry hands on the wheel.
Stuck in the sun visor was an identification card with his picture—sort of. It had been taken at
point-blank range, showing only an out-of-focus nose and a hideous mouth, as if he'd been trying to eat the camera. The card read: Your Driver is BES.
"You're Bes, I guess?" Sadie said.
"Yes," he said.
"Your car's a mess," I muttered.
"If one more person rhymes," Emma grumbled, "I'll throw up."
"Is it Mr. Bes?" Sadie asked "Lord Bes? Bes the Extremely Short?"
"Just Bes," he grunted. "Ones. And no, it's NOT a girl's name. Call me Bessie, and I'll have to kill
you. As for being short, I'm the dwarf god, so what do you expect? Oh, there's bottled water for you back
there if you're thirsty."
I looked down. Rolling about at my feet were two partially empty bottles of water. One had
lipstick on the cap. The other looked as if it had been chewed on.
"Not thirsty," Sadie decided.
Emma and I murmured agreement.
Police vehicles were blocking Waterloo Bridge, but Bes swerved around them, jumped the pavement, and kept driving. The police didn't even blink.
"Are we invisible?" I asked.
"To most mortals." Bes belched. "They're pretty dense, aren't they? Present company excepted, et
cetera."
"Sure" I mutter sarcastically. "So I didn't know there was a God of dwarfs"
"Huge," Bes said. "I'm huge in the world of gods."
"A huge god of dwarves," Emma marveled. "You mean as in Snow White, or—"
"All dwarves." Bes waved his hands expansively, which made me a bit nervous as he took both of
them off the wheel. "Egyptians were smart. They honored people who were born unusual. Dwarves were considered extremely magical. So yeah, I'm the god of dwarves."
I cleared her throat. "Isn't there a more polite term we're supposed to use nowadays? Like…little
person, or vertically challenged, or—"
"I'm not going to call myself the god of vertically challenged people," Bes grumbled. "I'm a dwarf!
Now, here we are, just in time."
He spun the car to a stop in the middle of the bridge. Looking behind us, I almost lost the contents
of my stomach. A winged black shape was circling over the riverbank. At the end of the bridge, Babi was taking care of the barricade in his own fashion. He was throwing police cars into the River Thames while the officers scattered and fired their weapons, though the bullets seemed to have no effect on the baboon god's steely fur.
"Why are we stopping?" Emma asked.
Bes stood on his seat and stretched, which he could do quite easily. "It's a river," he said. "Good
place to fight gods, if I do say so myself. All that force of nature flowing underneath our feet makes it hard to stay anchored in the mortal world."
Looking at him more closely, I could see what he meant. His face was shimmering like a mirage.
"Kat, Emma," I said. "We're getting out."
Emma swallowed. "Are you sure—"
"I know you're scared," Sadie said, "but you'll need to do exactly as I say."
We nodded hesitantly and opened the car doors.
Bes stifled a yawn. "Need my help?"
"Um…"
Babi was lumbering toward us. Nekhbet circled over him, shrieking orders. If the river was
affecting them at all, they didn't show it.
I didn't see how a dwarf god could stand against those two, but Sadie still said, "Yes. I need help."
"Right." Bes cracked his knuckles. "So get out."
"What?"
"I can't change clothes with you in the car, can I? I have to put on my ugly outfit."
"Ugly outfit?"
"Go!" the dwarf commanded. "I'll be out in a minute."
It didn't take much encouragement. None of us wanted to see any more of Bes than we had to.
We got out, and Bes locked the doors behind us. The windows were heavily tinted, so I couldn't see in. For all I knew Bes would be relaxing, listening to music while we got slaughtered. I certainly didn't have much hope that a wardrobe change was going to defeat Nekhbet and Babi. then at the two gods charging toward us.
"We'll make our last stand here."
"I'm with you" I grunt getting into a fighting stants.
She rummaged through her bag and took out a piece of chalk and the four sons of Horus. "Kat, put
these statues at the cardinal points—North, South, and so on. Emma, take the chalk. Draw a circle
connecting the statues. We only have a few seconds."
I did what she said as quicky as possible, and Emma does what she's told just as fast.
Babi's massive feet pounding on the bridge as he ran toward us Babi was only a meter away when Emma finished the circle. Sadie touched her staff to the chalk, and golden light flared up.
The baboon god slammed into her protective force field like it was a metal wall. He staggered
backward. Nekhbet swerved away at the last second and flew around us, cawing in frustration.
Unfortunately, the circle's light began to flicker. So start my own attack using every spell I can think of. They back up a bit looking weaker but not by much
"Whatever happens to me," Sadie told us, "stay inside the circle."
"Sadie," Emma said, "I know that tone of voice. Whatever you're planning, don't."
"Emma, stay in the shield, Sadie I'm helping you, you can't stop me" I tell them
Babi snarled. He was rather foamy, thanks to the Body Shop attack, and he smelled wonderful.
Several different colors of shampoo foam and bath beads were matted in his silver fur.
Nekhbet hadn't fared so well. She perched atop a nearby lamppost, looking as if she'd been assaulted by the entire contents of the West Cornwall Pasty Company. Bits of ham, cheese, and potato splattered her feathery cloak, giving testament to the brave enchanted meatpies that had given their brief lives to delay her. Her hair was decorated with plastic forks, napkins, and bits of pink newsprint. She looked quite keen to tear us to shreds.
The only good news: Babi's minions evidently hadn't made it out of the train station. I imagined a
troop of pasty-splattered baboons shoved against police cars and handcuffed. It lifted my spirits
somewhat.
Nekhbet snarled. "You surprised us at the station, Sadie Kane. I'll admit that was well done. And
bringing us to this bridge—a good try. But we are not so weak. You don't have the strength to fight us any longer. If you cannot defeat us, you have no business raising Ra."
"You lot should be helping me," She said. "Not trying to stop me."
"Uhh!" Babi barked.
"Indeed," agreed the vulture goddess. "The strong survive without help. The weak must be killed
and eaten. Which are you, child? Be honest."
Babi bared his fangs. He was so close, I could smell his shampooed fur and his horrid breath.
"Try me," She said. "I follow the path of Isis. Cross me, and I'll destroy you."
She managed to light her staff. Babi stepped back. Nekhbet fluttered on her lamppost. Their forms shimmered briefly. The river was weakening them, loosening their connection to the mortal world like interference on a mobile phone line. But it wasn't enough.
Nekhbet must've seen the desperation in our faces. She was a vulture. She specialized in knowing
when her prey was finished.
"A good last effort, child," she said, almost with appreciation, "but you have nothing left. Babi,
attack!"
The baboon god reared up on his back legs. I got ready to charge.
Then the limo's door opened behind me. Bes announced: "No one is attacking anyone! Except me,
of course."
Nekhbet shrieked in alarm. I turned to see what was going on. Immediately, I wished I could burn
my eyes out of my head.
I made a gagging sound. "Merlin, no! That's wrong!"
"Agh!" Emma shouted, in perfect baboon-speak. "Make him stop!"
Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limo and stood there, legs
planted, arms akimbo, like Superman—except with only the underwear.
Bes, all of a meter tall, was showing off his disgusting physique —his potbelly, hairy limbs, awful feet, gross flabby bits—and wearing only a blue Speedo. Imagine the worst looking person you've ever seen on a public beach—the person for whom swimwear should be illegal. Bes looked worse than that.
I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put on some clothes!"
Bes laughed—the sort of guffaw that says Ha-ha! I'm amazing!
"Not until they leave," he said. "Or I'll be forced to scare them back to the Duat."
"This is not your affair, dwarf god!" Nekhbet snarled, averting her eyes from his horribleness. "Go
away!"
"These children are under my protection," Bes insisted.
"I don't know you," Sadie said. "I never met you before today."
"Nonsense. You expressly asked for my protection."
"I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol!"
Bes leaped off the limo and landed in front of the circle, placing himself between Babi and Sadie.
The dwarf was even more horrible from behind. His back was so hairy it looked like a mink coat. And on the back of his Speedo was printed dwarf pride.
Bes and Babi circled each other like wrestlers. The baboon god swiped at Bes, but the dwarf was
agile. He scrambled up Babi's chest and head-butted him in the nose. Babi staggered backward as the
dwarf continued pounding away, using his face as a deadly weapon.
"Don't hurt him!" Sadie yelled. "It's my Gramps in there!"
Babi slumped against the railing. He blinked, trying to regain his bearings, but Bes breathed on him, and the smell of curry must've been too much. The baboon's knees buckled. His body shimmered
and began to shrink. He crumpled on the pavement and melted into a stocky gray-haired pensioner in a tattered cardigan.
"Gramps!" Sadie left the protective circle and ran to his side.
"He'll be fine," Bes promised. Then he turned toward the vulture goddess. "Now it's your turn,
Nekhbet. Leave."
"I stole this body fair and square!" she wailed. "I like it in here!"
"You asked for it." Bes rubbed his hands, took a deep breath, and did something I will never be
able to erase from my memory.
If I simply said he made a face and yelled BOO, that would be technically correct, but it wouldn't
begin to convey the horror.
His head swelled. His jaw unhinged until his mouth was four times too big. His eyes bulged like grapefruits. His hair stuck straight up like a cat's. He shook his face and waggled his slimy green tongue and roared BOOOO! so loudly, the sound rolled across the Thames like a cannon shot. This blast of pure ugly blew the feathers off Nekhbet's cloak and drained all the color from her face. It ripped away the essence of the goddess like tissue paper in a storm. The only thing left was a dazed old woman in a flower-print dress, squatting on the lamppost.
"Oh, dear…"Sadie's Gran fainted.
Bes jumped up and caught her before she could topple into the river. The dwarf's face went back to normal—well, normally ugly, at least—as he eased Gran onto the pavement next to Gramps.
"Thank you," Sadie told Bes. "Now, will you please put on some clothes?"
He gave her a toothy grin, which I could have lived without. "You're all right, Sadie Kane. I see why Bast likes you."
"Sadie?" her grandfather groaned, his eyelids fluttering open.
"I'm here, Gramps." sge stroked his forehead. "How do you feel?"
"Strange craving for mangoes." He went cross-eyed. "And possibly insects. You…you saved us?"
"Not really," she admitted. "My friend here—" "Certainly she saved you," Bes said. "Brave girl you have here. Quite a magician."
Gramps focused on Bes and scowled. "Bloody Egyptian gods in their bloody revealing swimwear. This is why we don't do magic."
I sighed with relief. Once her Gramps started complaining, I knew he was going to be all right. Gran
was still passed out, but her breathing seemed steady. The color was coming back into her cheeks.
"We should go," Bes said. "The mortals are ready to storm the bridge."
I glanced toward the barricades and saw what he meant. An assault team was gathering—heavily
armored men with rifles, grenade launchers, and probably many other fun toys that could kill us.
"Kat, Emma!" Sadie called. "Help me with my grandparents."
we ran over and started to help Gramps sit up, but Bes said, "They can't come."
"What?" she demanded. "But you just said—" "They're mortals," Bes said. "They don't belong on your quest. If we're going to get the second scroll from Vlad Menshikov, we need to leave now."
"You know about that?" "Your grandparents and friends are in less danger here," Bes said. "The police will question them,
but they won't see old people and children as a threat."
"We're not children," Emma grumbled.
"Vultures…" Gran whispered in her sleep. "Meatpies…"
Gramps coughed. "The dwarf is right, . I'll be tiptop in a moment, though it's a pity that
baboon chap couldn't leave me some of his power. Haven't felt that strong in ages."
She looked at her bedraggled grandparents and us.
"Sadie, it's fine." Emma adjusted her broken glasses and tried for a smile. "We can handle the
police. Won't be the first time we've had to do some quick talking, eh?"
"We'll take care of your gran and gramps," I promised
"Don't need taking care of," Gramps complained. Then he broke down in a fit of coughing. "Just
go, my dear. That baboon god was in my head. I can tell you—he means to destroy you. Finish your quest before he comes after you again. I couldn't even stop him. I couldn't…" He looked resentfully at his shaky old hands. "I never would've forgiven myself. Now, off with you!"
"I'm sorry," She told us all. "I didn't mean—"
"Sorry?" Emma demanded. "Sadie Kane, that was the most brilliant birthday party ever! Now,
go!"
both of us hugged her, and before She could start crying, Bes shepherded her into the
Mercedes and drove off.
An hour later Emma and I we're back at her place exhausted. "Well that was the strangest day of my life" Emma declares collapsing on the couch. "It was bloody weird" I agree.
She perks up "So now that our lives aren't in danger you can tell me about this magic school and the boys who attend" I laugh "Merlin your mad"
"Details" she demands.
And so, for the next hour I fill her in on everything that's happened over the last two years.
"Bloody hell you do not have normal problems do you" she says eating the popcorn she had gotten while I was speaking. "Not really, no but…" I start thinking about asking her for advice on Draco.
"But…" she mimics motioning for me to continue.
"I have a twin brother" I blurt out
she chokes on her popcorn "Seriously?" "Unfortunately yes but he was raised dark which mean he hates all Muggle's and muggle-born's he thinks there scum and so do my parents" quickly I explain the pure blood crap and what happen with my Father.
"Okay one your Dad is an asshole and two Draco is still young maybe you can turn him good" Emma says "I guess" I shrug thinking about it.
Two showers, five fixing charms and in hour later I'm standing in the alleyway waiting for Nico to get me.
He appears in the shadows in front of me "Let's go" he monotones as usual "Yes sir caption fun time" I mock salute before grabbing his arm.
I'm not going tell him what I did today, I'm not sure he'd believe me if I told him I spent the day running from evil gods. I mean Will and Nico are great but I'm not sure if they can handle ancient gods being real.