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Chapter 5

X-X-X-X

"You know, being blind for a week made me realize a lot of things..." I said lying on the soft grass.

"What is it, Kanon-chan?" Mikoto asked next to me.

"...Without sight...the world sounds like a peaceful place..." I said ready to fall asleep.

"I see, that's nice."

"...Today's the day we're doing the surgery...huh...?"

"That's right, later tonight."

"...I'm...sorry..."

"Don't be, I wanted to be of use and I am. I can survive without an eye, but you need another if you want to fight the vampires. You're still young and you're Ichinose-san's student. I'm actually helping the cause, I'm very sure you'll kill many of those bloodsuckers."

"...Thanks..."

"It's not a problem."

"I still don't see why Guren didn't tell me until now! If I knew that, I would have at least done something!"

"Hahahaha."

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"My eye stings..." I hissed touching the medical patch.

"It'll be like that for a few weeks." Guren said handing me the bottle with my medicine.

"...How's Mikoto-san doing?" I asked reading the instructions.

"He's fine, you'll resume training in two weeks. Don't take your eyepatch off, if you have to, then keep that eye closed. Your eye will be sensitive to light for a while."

"Got it."

"What's wrong, Kanon?"

"...Hey, Guren, do I look like a girl?"

"Yeah, but you're still a boy."

"..." I stared at my reflection in the window. "I look like a girl, I'm as small as a girl, I even sound like a girl...nothing about me is male except for that one part."

"Forget about it, Kanon." Guren roughly ruffled my hair. "Get some rest."

"Yeah, sure..."

Guren left the room and I stared out the window. I'm stuck at the hospital for the next week so they can check up on me when they need to. I groaned, falling onto my back, covering my eyes with my arm. I hate this pain, it was too much like the time Felid ripped my eye out of my socket. It reminded me too much of that day, I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to.

"Mika-kun...Akane-chan...everyone...I'm sorry..." I whispered shutting my eyes.

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"How do you feel, Mikoto-san?" I asked touching his eyepatch.

"It still hurts, but not as badly as the first day." Mikoto said smiling at me.

"Hey, we match." I said hopping it would cheer him up.

"I see, we do. Now we look like a pair of mummies." Mikoto said laughing.

"That's right, Mika-kun." I froze, realizing I called Mikoto by Mika's name. "So-Sorry, Mikoto-san." I said covering my mouth.

"Mika-kun...Do I remind you of this 'Mika-kun', Kanon-chan?"

"..." I slowly pulled my hand away from my mouth and I slid off his bed. I walked towards the window and I opened it, the wind hit my face. "...Mika-kun...he...He is an old friend and family member...who died two years ago..."

"I see..."

"He...He was killed by vampires along with the rest of my family...We tried to escape...but it was a trap...My idiocy...I planned the escape with him that costed them their lives..." I dropped my head, tears beginning to fall. "I failed them...I was so stupid..."

"You managed to escape, you're here now."

"Sometimes, I wish I wasn't..." I shouldn't have existed. If I didn't exist, perhaps they would have been safe. "I hate him...Felid Bathory! That damned noble, when I see him again, I'll kill myself!"

"Hey now." Mikoto pulled me towards him, using his hand to hold the back of my head into his chest. "You're not alone, don't be afraid."

"I hate those vampires...! If they didn't exist..."

I wasn't sure how long I was crying for, but it felt like a really long time. I eventually ran out of tears to shed, but I was still sniffling. Mikoto, at some point, had sat me down on the bed while I clung to him while crying. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to stop my sniffling. Mikoto pressed a tissue against my nose.

"Blow." I blew my nose into the tissue and I rubbed at my nose. "Do you feel better?" Mikoto asked tossing the tissue.

"Yeah..." I said trying to regain my breathing.

"You know, your crying face is very cute." Mikoto said with a smile.

"Don't tease me." I said tugging on his cheek.

"Iwai...!"

"I'm going home, baka!"

I left Mikoto, rubbing at my eyes. I hate my own weakness, crying...is a sign of weakness! I never cried when I was harmed, I never cried when bad things happened to me...I only cried for my family...I never cry for myself. I returned home and I tossed my coat onto the coat rack before heading into my room, slamming the door shut. I dropped onto the bed, my face in my pillow. I turned my head, staring at pink strands and I slowly sat up. I tugged at my hair, the pinked strands currently reaches my hips.

"...I'm male...but don't look it..." I muttered disliking these long strands of hair.

I hated long hair, I only grew it out because the others insisted I grow my hair out. They always said my hair was beautiful...but I don't have a reason to keep it long anymore. I shut my eyes before opening them. I grabbed the scissors out of the drawer in my desk before heading to the bathroom. I tugged the eyepatch off, placing it on the counter, my left eye shut. I grabbed part of my hair and I held it near my hair. I was hesitating, but...for what reason?

"...Was it because of their words...?" I questioned silently.

I cut my hair and I stared at the pink strands lying limply in my hands. I tilted my hand, letting the strands fall to the ground. It wasn't as hard as I thought. I grabbed another section of my hair before cutting that part as well. I continued cutting my hair until the strands barely touched my chin and I ran my hands through my now short hair and unevenly cut hair.

"Huh...It's lighter now..." I said amazed.

"Hey, Kanon, I notice yo-What did you do to yourself?" Guren asked staring at me with wide eyes.

"I cut my hair." I said as if it was that obvious.

"You...are such an idiot. Give me that." Guren took the scissors from me. "Your hair is uneven." Guren said grabbing a brush to fix my hair.

"...Thanks...I can cut other people's hair, but...I only ever cut my bangs..." I muttered as he continued to cut my hair.

"Obviously." I was hit with the brush and I pretended it didn't hurt. When Guren delivers pain as punishment, it tends to hurt. "Next time tell me, I'll take you to a friend of mine to get it cut. What a waste though, your hair was the only good thing about you."

"Don't care."

"Cheeky little...! There, I'm done."

"..." I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face. "...I really don't look like my old self, now do I...?"

"You look like a boy now, well, a boyish girl."

"That doesn't make me happy..."

"Do you seriously think I was hoping to make you happy?"

"No, you're a cruel bastard who loves to be mean to his wards. Ow!"

"Don't disrespect your elders."

"..." Technically speaking, I'm older than you. "Didn't have to hit me..."

"Don't cut your hair again."

"Whatever."

I tugged at my short strands. I did look like a boyish girl or a girly boy. The strands of hair in the back just barely touched the nape of my neck, the front was the same as always, but I did cut my bangs a bit. For some reason though...I felt depressed. I wondered why when tears began to form, slowly dripping down my cheeks.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Kanon?" Guren asked kneeling down in front of me.

"...I..." I blinked staring at him with tear-filled eyes. "...I don't know..." I said rubbing at my eyes.

"What's with you, showing such a cute face all of a sudden?" Guren asked patting the top of my head.

I began remembering the other's words about my hair. Akane always said she was jealous about how pretty my hair was while she braided my hair. Mika said I looked cute whenever he saw what Akane did to my hair. The kids...they always said how I looked like a princess or how pretty my hair is. The hair they loved so much...I cut it...I cut it without thinking about it.

"I'm...so stupid...!" I cried rubbing at my eyes.

Guren seriously had no idea what to do with me as I cried. I never showed this type of emotion around anyone...but I did twice in one day. Guren surprised me when he lifted me up and carried me to my room, shutting the door behind him. He put me down on my bed and sat beside me. I felt a hand on my head and Guren didn't even look at me while I cried.

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"What happened to your hair, Kanon?!" Yuu asked staring at me with wide eyes.

"Ah...I..." I thought about what I should tell him. "Some kid put gum in my hair and I tried to cut it out." I lied with a weak smile.

"Who was it?! I'll kick their ass for doing that to you!" Yuu shouted completely serious about that.

"It's fine, Yuu-kun." I reached out, patting the top of his head. "Hair will grow back." I stated amused with his reaction.

"Hold on..." Yuu reached out, a hand on my face. He was staring at my eyes. "You...Who made you cry, Kanon? Is it the same punk who put the gum in your hair?"

"I didn't cry." I pushed his hand away. "I had something in my eyes earlier and I was rubbing at them for quite some time."

"You're lying." Guren came up from behind me, roughly ruffling my hair. "You were crying and ended up falling asleep after an hour."

"S-Shut up, Guren!"

"You made Kanon cry, Guren?! I'll kick your ass!"

"Yuu-kun, i-it's alright, really!"

"W-Well...if you say so..." Yuu looked so embarrassed as I held onto his arm. "Still...I thought you looked cuter with long hair..."

"Eh?" Did I hear him correctly? Yuu seemed to realize what he said and his whole face turned bright red. "That's the first time I heard you complement my hair. Are you embarrassed, hey, hey, Yuu-kun?"

"S-Stop holding onto me already!"

"Your face is bright red, it's so cute."

"Don't use the word 'cute' on a boy!"

"You're so cute, Yuu-kun." I pulled away, hiding my smile behind my hand. "I'm confident whoever you chose to marry in the future will be a total sweetheart."

"M-M-Marry..." Yuu was staring at me before looking away with a very bright red face. "S-Shut up already!"

"Eh, what's wrong, Yuu-kun? Why did you look at me like that?"

"I-It doesn't matter!"

"Now I'm curious...Come on, tell me."

"G-Go away!"

"Ah, don't run from me, Yuu-kun!" Yuu ran to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. I reached up, scratching the back of my head. "What was that all about?"

"While you are intelligent, you sure are stupid."

"What was that, Guren?!"

Guren ignored me as he returned to the kitchen to cook dinner. While I didn't think he knew how to cook...he's actually quite capable. However...both him and Yuu are too alike, we eat curry at least once or twice a week. While they don't mind, I do! That reminds me, I'll cook dinner tonight, I can't stand the thought of eating curry again. I quickly ran into the kitchen and I kicked Guren out.

"I'll make dinner! I can't stand eating curry anymore!" I shouted pushing him out with all my might.

"What's gotten into you, you're acting like a brat today." Guren said scratching the back of his head.

"I'll make dinner...Got it." I said narrowing my eyes.

"Yes, yes, I'll be in my study then."

"Geez...Both you and Yuu-kun are so alike..."

While Guren and Yuu won't admit...sometimes those two act like they're brothers. I made dinner with a small smile on my face. I...I miss my family at the Hyakuya orphanage...I'm at fault for their deaths, I know that. That's why...I'll protect Yuu, I'll make sure he lives even if it costs me my own life. I'll repent for my sins and I'll live for Yuu. I'll ensure that the last member of my family can live a long and happy life. I'll also kill Felid Bathory if it's the last thing I do...I won't ever forgive him, I can't forgive him for what he had done to us...I'll make sure that he pays for his crimes...! By my hands...I'll be the one to kill him, no matter what anyone says.

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Chapter 5 Ends

Kanon broke down during this chapter twice. Once because he remembered about abandoning Mika who was still alive and the second time because she cut her hair short. At first, Kanon cut his hair because he wanted to forget, but when he cut his hair he realized the mistake he caused. He realized that he was basically cutting away the one thing his family loved so dearly while he didn't care. He remembered their words about his hair and the memories of the Hyakuya orphans hit him hard. Kanon is so cute, but so sad in this chapter. Kanon will definably be growing his hair back and will take better care of it as it's the pretty pink locks that those children loved so dearly and it what makes Kanon, Kanon! Well, that's it for now, until next time dearies~! Bye-bye~!