Disclaimer: I don't own anything Marvel, just Jamie.

Chapter 34

Stay

SHIELD was as busy as ever. Everybody had their own original assignments to keep themselves preoccupied, but that didn't stop people from procrastinating and paying more attention to the wounded Avenger staying in one of the spare rooms. It didn't stop them from noticing that in the week after getting back from Germany, Jamie didn't leave her room for three straight days. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep (though they didn't know that since her door was constantly shut).

Though they had known Jamie for a while now, it still didn't stop them from thinking that she wasn't exactly human. It was just like how people saw celebrities. They didn't see them as people, they some them as things that didn't get affected by things like they did. So they didn't understand what was wrong with her. They didn't want to admit that she was just as human as they were.

And right now, she was completely broken. Or, it seemed that way for a couple days. At that one week mark though, Jamie seemed to snap out of it gave gotten back into a routine. SHe was still to injured to work out, but that didn't stop her from burying herself in her work, and that meant she didn't sleep whatsoever. It was almost a constant to see her sitting at her desk whenever you walked by.

She didn't listen to Simmons, who was standing in as her doctor with all the notes shared to her by Amir. She didn't listen to May, or Skye, or anybody. She just sat there, ignored them, and continued her work. She didn't even pick up the phone and call Steve back yet. She just didn't have it in her to walk to anybody. No matter how heartbreaking it was to hear Steve beg her to call him.

It wasn't until Phil finally came down to see her that she paused her work. For Phil, she'd do anything.

Phil sat on the edge of her desk, fiddling with one of those fluffy ended child pens that Taylor had given her in the pen holder in the corner of her desk. "Keeping busy?" he asked.

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, what else can I do?" she retorted. "Can't exactly go out in the field right now. Simmons would kill me herself before the action actually would."

"Well, I guess you wouldn't want this then?" Phil offered, holding up the file he had in his hand.

"I wouldn't say that…" Jamie muttered, reaching out for it, only to have it pulled back.

"Well, it's not exactly for you," he said. "I need you to give it to Hill. I don't want to send digital copies. Too sensitive. Just deliver it to her."

"Don't look. I got it, Phil," Jamie said, reaching for the file and actually taking it this time. Jamie struggled to get up, the pain clearly expressed on her face. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Phil remained sitting there as he watched Jamie walk away. "Right…."

The receptionist at the front desk was Mary, the same beautiful woman with long black hair and black eyes that had always been there, or for as long as Jamie had started occupying the building with the rest of the Avengers. She smiled and greeted Jamie when the woman walked in through the main doors, though she obviously was very shocked at the state Jamie was in.

Jamie just nodded and kept walking. She entered the elevator, and made sure it closed before anybody else could enter it. It was rude of her, but she honestly didn't feel like any company whatsoever.

"JARVIS?" Jamie asked.

"Hello, Ms. Roe. It's nice to have you back," JARVIS greeted.

The woman nodded and leaned back against the back wall of the elevator for support. "Which floor is Maria Hill on currently?" Jamie asked.

"Miss Hill is currently in her office."

"Then that's where I need to go. Thank you, JARVIS," Jamie said.

The elevator lurched and started to go up, heading to her destination. Jamie stood there awkwardly, trying to avoid pain, but everything she did hurt, so there wasn't much she could do. "Shall I inform the others that you are currently on premises?"

"No, I don't think so," Jamie said. "I'm not staying."

"As you wish, Ms. Roe."

The elevator door opened, and Jamie stepped out. She walked down the hallway after hallway until she finally got to the back where Maria Hill's office was. She knocked and went in, after all, she could clearly see that she was just sitting behind her desk looking at something on her computer monitor. She wasn't on the phone or anything. Those were the downsides of having glass walls and a clear door.

"Wow, don't you look great," Hill greeted, checking the young woman over with all her injuries.

Jamie just rolled her eyes. "Great, thanks. That makes me feel so much better."

Hill sat up and leaned across the desk to take the file from Jamie. "Phil told me you were coming."

"Good for you?" Jamie muttered. She didn't really care about that information. She kinda just assumed anyway.

"Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine lately," Hill replied snarkily.

"Yeah, well, I'm tired, and everything hurts, so if you don't mind I'll just head out," Jamie said.

"No, you're not," Hill said. She got up, leaving the file on her desk. "You're in no condition to head back to SHIELD tonight. You're staying here in your room."

Jamie sighed. "I'd really rather not. I've got work to get back to."

"Work that can wait until tomorrow," Hill said, ushering her to the elevator. "JARVIS? Don't let Jamie leave the tower tonight. She's staying here."

"Yes, Ms. Hill."

Dejectedly, Jamie went to her room, which felt extremely odd to her. She hadn't been in there in so long. The room that had felt so much like home no longer did, and neither did where she was staying at SHIELD. Nowhere felt like home anymore, which just made her feel so much more alone as she sat on the bed, staring out of the large wall of windows outlooking the cities.

One wouldn't think being there in that lavish room would be torture, but to Jamie, it was the worst thing that could've happened. The quite obvious reason why she had thrown herself into her work was because she didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts. She sat alone in her room and tortured herself for three days, never leaving the hellhole of her mind.

Jamie's mind was a dark, painful place.

Hill was scanning through the file as she walked to the kitchen to get herself something to drink as she continued to work for the night. She went straight to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. She turned, nearly running into Steve as she did.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, taking her place at the fridge.

"Don't worry about it," she answered, as she kept walking. She paused before she entered the hallway to go back to her office though. "Oh, Steve?"

Steve turned around, looking at her with curious, raised brows. "Yeah?"

"Jamie's in her room."

Of course, right after hearing that Steve went directly to Jamie's room. He nervously fidgeted outside her door for several minutes debating whether or not to knock. After all, if she hadn't told him she was there, did that mean she didn't want ot see him? Should he respect that and leave her be? But what if this was the only opportunity to try and make up with her. She hadn't returned his calls. Any of them.

Maybe she didn't want to make up. What if she thought she was better off without him? What if she was better off without him?

He was killing himself, but if he didn't do this know, he'd never know and he'd never be able to move on if it was the worst thing he could think of.

Steve knocked, but there was no answer at all. He couldn't just leave though. Hesitantly, he opened the door and peeked in to see Jamie sitting on her bed, her back to him as she stared out the window. She was either ignoring him, or lost in thought. It could've been either.

"Jamie?" He cautiously called out, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. There was no answer, which lead him to believe that she wasn't hearing him. Jamie wasn't that good at ignoring people, he knew that as a fact from how she tried to ignore Tony and always failed. This lead Steve to grow more and more concerned. "Jay, you okay?"

Steve placed a hand on her shoulder, and knelt down next to her. She remained staring out the window, but now that he could see her face, he could clearly see the tears staining her cheeks, and it seemed as if there was no sign that the stream coming from her eyes would stop anytime soon. That freaked him out. He didn't like to see her upset. It broke his heart.

"Jamie? Hey, Jay, look at me," he said. He turn her chin between his fingers and turned her head to him, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes tried to stay on the window, but as he turned her head, her eyes eventually snapped to him, as if finally realizing she wasn't alone. "Hey, what's wrong, Jay? Talk to me…"

Steve's voice was so soft and sweet, and so concerned that Jamie broke even further. Not only did she feel guilty for leaving in the first place, she felt terrible for never calling him back even when he sounded so desperate to hear from her. On top of everything else she was feeling, it really tore hr into even smaller pieces.

Jamie cried, and Steve moved to sit next to her one the bed, pulling her to his chest to cradle her. He shushed her soothingly, smoothing out her hair. "Hey, it's okay. I'm right here. Everything will be okay."

Jamie shook her head and clutched onto his shirt. "I'm sorry," she muttered into his shirt.

Steve nodded and kissed the top of her head. "Me too. I'm sorry. I overreacted and I should've never kicked you out. I'm sorry... But you weren't crying crying because of that, were you."

It wasn't a question. It had been months since they had been around each other, but Steve still knew Jamie far better than anybody. Jamie didn't want to talk about it though. She didn't want to remember.

"Is this about what happened while Cerberus had you?" he asked.

If Steve had any chest hair, Jamie would've pulled them all out with how tightly she was clutching onto his shirt. She reluctantly nodded, and finally admitted it was true. Steve wouldn't stop, because he knew very well if she didn't walk about it, she'd never be able to move on.

"Did you lose someone?" he asked. That was the only thing he could think of that would cause her to break like this. She'd been to hell and back on multiple occasions and come out far better than she was now. It was only the death of someone she cared about that would ever have such a profound effect on her.

Jamie was shaking beyond belief, and even when her teammate had been murdered, and she found out that Aaron was with Cerberus, she hadn't been like this. But when she spoke next, it completely answered why she was in such a state.

"He was only eight…"

"Oh Jamie…"

"He was only eight and I promised to get him out of there, but I got him killed instead," she sobbed. "I killed him, Steve."

"No, you didn't. You did everything you could to get him out of there," Steve tried to assure her. "You can try and save everybody that you can, but you're not going to be able to save everybody. You did what you could, and I'm sure he knew that. Because you're a hero, Jamie."

"I'm no hero," she denied.

"Sure you are," he said. "You're my hero."

"Even after everything I said against you?" she asked, hesitantly looking up at him.

"Of course," he said. Hea used one hand to wipe her tears away. "You're my best friend, Jamie. And you have such a good heart. You're my hero, and that's not going to change because we don't agree on something."

"...I want to help you find him," she blurted out.

"What?" he asked.

"Bucky? I want to help," she told him. "He shouldn't have to be on his own, and I...I don't want him to be alone."

Steve smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Thank you, that means so much to me," he told her.

Jamie rested her head back against his chest, slowly starting to relax for the first time in so long. It might take a little while to feel like she didn't have to walk on eggshells around him, but for right now, Steve was exactly what she needed to relax and start to move on.

"Will you stay?" Steve asked, a hand comfortingly rubbing up and down her back. "We've all missed you. I've missed you. It'd be nice to have you back home."

"Do you want me to stay?" Jamie asked.

"Of course," he answered.

"Then I'll stay," Jamie answered. "I want to stay."

So there we have it. Condolence is now done, and Constancy is next. There is one more "Chapter" after this one that has a couple sneak peaks into the story, so you can read those and then move onto the actual story. They'll be posted at the same time, so you'll know because you'll get an alert for this one, so then you can go straight and look for the other (if you're only getting alerts for this story and not me as an author). I'll also respond to the reviews to this chapter in that sneak peak as well, but if you review in the sneak peaks, they'll get replied to in the second chapter of Constancy just like the reviews in the first chapter for that story. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this, and Steve and Jamie are both friends again, and they will be into the next story.

Thanks go to the following for their reviews on the previous chapter:

dark side's cookies 8D - Lol, I love leaving off on such terrible cliffhangers, though I don't do it very often. Yes, poor G is dead, and I feel very bad about that. (There's another version of Jamie in the DC universe that I've had her save G and raise him as her own) but I had to stick to the original trauma and idea of lossing the boy. IT has to play into how Jamie feels about having kids now, so in the long run, it's a very important event. I'm so glad you love the story, and thank you so much for reviewing. I know you said you don't do it often but it means a lot to me!

FelixFelicis02- Yes, Jamie and Steve will be fine! Or, Jamie will be, eventually...I'm glad you liked the chapter!

CJ/OddBall - Lol sorry for the confusion. I usually replay to reviews even before the next chapter is finished sometime and that's what happened. And yes, there was similarities between Dent and Aarons actions. Hope you're feeling better!

Jo - lol, yes, you're supposed to be in shock.

AAJ - Hope you liked the chapter.

The girl with no life - ...Please son't hurt me because of G. There's another version of Jamie in the DC universe that I've had her save G and raise him as her own, so hopefully that makes you feel better knowing that he's alive somewhere.