A/N Before I start, I just wanna say - thank you, you guys. Thank you for understanding and offering me your support and compassion. I can't tell you what it means to me. You guys might not know me in person, but you still reached out, and that touches me to the bottom of my heart.

To anyone out there who's listening and relating: I am so sorry for all you've endured. If you've suffered from abuse too, please know that you did nothing to deserve it, and if anyone has the nerve to say otherwise, please know that those are their issues and not yours. No one, NO ONE, deserves to be abused. If I could, I'd give you a hug and sit with you and listen to your story. Everyone deserves to have their voices heard and validated. You are not alone.

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Redemption, Restitution, & Resurrection

-Chapter Twenty-Seven: HEART-TO-HEART, Part II-

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"'Twas the week before Christmas
And all over Gotham
All the criminals were busy
Avoiding a Batman..."

"So I can't rhyme well..." Batman muttered to himself. "Let's see..." He ran through his mental list: find and question Bane, analyze Lazarus sample from Solomon, re-arrest the Sobalvarro Brothers, go to that one charity ball as Bruce Wayne, bribe Riddler more, possibly find and question Lady Shiva, upgrade the Bat-plane, locate Zsasz and Poison Ivy, inject inconspicuous GPS tracking chips into as many criminals as possible (why hadn't GCPD done this already?), get family portrait taken as Bruce Wayne, get Bat-family portrait taken as Batman, buy presents, re-augment freeze grenades to his utility belt (courtesy of the iceman himself), apprehend Floyd, double-check the prison population to make sure no one escaped, donate to the orphanage, make a house-call to Amanda Waller, keep Clark updated, get Helena a kitten, hang mistletoe, track down Ra's al Ghul, stop him from resurrecting Joker, give Gotham City a goddamn peaceful Christmas for once...

But first, he had a stop to make at the Gotham General Hospital.

He slipped through the open window as silently as a ghost. Though the young woman on the hospital bed might as well have been a real one.

Danielle's skin was painfully pale. He could see the bloodbags, IV dripping steadily into her arm, punctuated by the beating of the heart monitor. She was stable enough, but she looked terrible.

He glanced at her medical chart. An abdominal stab wound. He supposed it could have been a random mugging or perhaps another hitman hired by Falcone. But his intuition told him that this was exactly who and what it looked like.

I thought I warned her to stop playing the hero. Why didn't she listen?

He looked pensively at her face. Perfect calmness there. He growled at her anyway:

"I told you not to go after him, Danielle."

He knew she was awake. Of course he did; he was Batman for crying out loud. Still, she kept her eyes closed, wincing slightly at every breath of anger that left the Caped Crusades leaning over her bedside.

"I told you and you didn't listen. You almost paid for your foolishness with your life."

Yes, she had. And that scared her. She had nearly lost her life many times while dealing with Zsasz. This was the first time she'd felt like she'd been actively courting death. She had gone after him, after all. She wasn't passive or reactive this time... With how she'd sought him out, she might as well have walked into the knife herself. She knew she shouldn't blame herself - heck, she taught this lesson herself to her own students! - but with Batman's accusatory tone, it was hard not to.

"It's not a game, that what you don't understand. None of us do when we get started."

It hadn't been a game from the very start. Three years ago, she had been a target. Now, three years later, she was still a target, though she had a much more severe problem now. It was one thing to go after her; it was another thing entirely to go after her friends.

"It's a rush when you do it the first time, but after that, the prices add up. Once you're in this life, you're never free of its burdens."

Yes, it had been a slight bit of a rush the first time she had landed a hit on Zsasz, but her fear had been much stronger than that. Yes, she had felt the jolt of triumph a few nights ago when she figured out Zsasz's pattern through his phone calls, but... had it really been a rush when she'd fought him? No. She was scared - first, scared for that hostage (wasn't her name Priscilla or something?) and then, when she realized Zsasz wasn't playing with her anymore, scared for herself. As for the burdens - she'd never be free of those. She'd had those forced upon her. But she still wasn't totally used to it. Was Batman used to his burdens by now? How did he stand it?

"And neither are your friends. Tell me, Danielle, did you really want to put Mrs. Phillips and Ms. Gibson in this position? That's a heavy burden for them to carry, and one they didn't ask for."

But they were already in this position. She didn't put them here: Zsasz did. And he'd done it when she refused to engage with him. The whole reason why she had gotten more involved with him, was so he would leave her friends out of it.

"And now that you're here, in the hospital, lucky to be alive... Before you leave here again, ask yourself: was it worth it?"

Was it worth it? What if it were Cindy or Mrs. Phillips on the other end of that knife, the way it had almost been until she had stepped in and played the game in their places? When she thought of it that way, she knew the answer immediately: it was worth it, and she would do the same thing again in a heartbeat.

"Don't do anything anymore. I'll tell you this one more time: let me handle it."

She stared at him despairingly.

Why couldn't she fall in love with someone decent, like Batman? Someone who loved justice and safety as deeply as she did, in fact even more so. Someone strong and brave, someone deeply kind beneath his gruff exterior. She was emulating Batman, had admired him ever since she had seen him - so why had she trauma-bonded with Zsasz instead? What was it about him...? And how could she trust he had really changed?

She remembered his panicking voice, the way he pleaded her to stay with him. He had called the ambulance. He had saved her life by calling for help. She had been barely conscious when it was happening, but now she faced an inescapable truth about Zsasz: he cared for her. As much as he could, he tried to show her that and he'd apologized for what he'd done to her, sincerely. He was trying to make amends. And if she were being fully honest with herself... she still wanted to help him. Even with her self-judgments, she couldn't find it in her to silence that part of herself. That hope. Not now that Zsasz had rekindled it.

She shook her head. "I'm in no danger from him right now," she said quietly. "Please trust me, Batman."

Batman's face suddenly morphed into something terrifying. He towered over her and she flinched. "It's him I don't trust!"

Did she trust Zsasz? Even with his changes, did she really trust him? No, not yet... But she was open to letting him earn it.

"You don't understand how he works, Danielle." You don't understand how ANY of them work!

Danielle was floundering, mouth agape, trying to find her voice.

But he continued roughly, overriding her unspoken words. "You think he's tame, just before he stabs you in the back!"

As he turned to go, she apologized softly: "I'm sorry, Batman. You're right. I shouldn't have played the hero like I did... I don't know what I was thinking. It was reckless to go up alone against him... No one can go it alone."

They both refused to give voice to the thought that swirled between them: she had been acting just like him. It hit closer to home than either of them wanted to acknowledge.

The hospital discharged her four days later.

The pain was more of a dull ache now. She didn't know whether it was because of the pain meds or whether she really was healing that fast. She didn't want to go home. Too many bad memories there now. First Scarecrow, and then nearly dying there just last week. Plus, she had been thinking: what if Scarecrow wasn't the only person who would come after her? Sure, he'd probably done it because he'd murdered the former self-defense teacher as well... But he'd gone so far as to attack her students, killing Gertrude, while making it clear that Danielle was his main target. No... No, that wasn't right. Her classes had been the target. Was Scarecrow part of something bigger? Were there more people out there who wanted to stop the classes?

Danielle didn't know anything to prove or disprove this, but something in her gut told her this wasn't over. Luckily now her classes were out for winter vacation, but that hardly meant she was safe.

If there was anything Tanaga-sensei had taught her, it was to trust her gut. And her gut was telling her not to go home right now.

Instead she hailed a taxi. Some fresh air would clear her head. Batman's words were still ringing inside of it. Honestly, could she help Zsasz? She wanted to keep her friends safe, and there was no better time than now, while he was remorseful, to reach him. She wanted him to heal from his traumas and become a peaceful person... but was that really possible?

There was only one way to know: time. If his remorse lasted, then it was real and he stood a chance. But if it faded within a couple of weeks, then...

Still. She had to give him that chance. For her own peace of mind.

The salty air felt good after so long in the hospital.

It was December 22nd, Danielle mused. In three short days it would be Christmas.

Whitecaps danced across her view. Gotham Bay looked like slush in motion - frothy water over choppy dark blue waves. The smell of the water mixed with the resinous scent of cypress trees, filling the small cape all around her. White sand stretched beneath her feet down the gentle slope. This could be her version of paradise, maybe.

Maybe next year, for Christmas, she could go home. Back to her family. She missed them now more than ever. Her brother would be here in Gotham in just a few short months. Maybe that would drive some of the loneliness away...

But would she even be able to see him? What if Zsasz went back to killing? Would he try to hurt her brother? Maybe she should tell her brother what was going on. Even if Zsasz did remain remorseful, there were so many other criminals here... Her work with survivors the last three years had shown her a vulnerability and danger Gotham possessed in greater detail than she had previously known. Maybe her brother would be better off staying home. Maybe she should go back too.

She filled her lungs with cold air, wincing as it pulled at her stitches slightly. There was a small area behind her and to the right that was buzzing with energy and life, an invisible spot in her mind.

Christmas was going to be very lonely this year. That was OK. It was better this way.

She wondered what Cindy was doing for Christmas Day.

It was nice out here. The air smelled pure and like Christmas. No one ever came here. She'd discovered this spot years ago when she was on one of her long walks. It was behind Gotham Heights, where all the rich people lived in their mansions. She was sure Wayne Manor wasn't too terribly far away. She didn't care.

The wind shifted, and she caught the slightest rustle of fabric. It was very subtle, could have almost been her imagination. But it was coming from the same area as the buzzing behind her head.

She smiled. "Aren't you ever going to come over here?"

She heard a scoff of laughter, and then Zsasz was standing before her, the breeze ruffling his faded cargo pants.

"How did you know I was there?"

She shook her head. "You're not the only ninja."

He smiled openly at that. His face was lined, bags under his eyes. He looked terrible, but in a happy way.

"Are you stalking me?"

"Don't I always?" He lowered his head suddenly, embarrassed. "I would have called you to hang out, but I didn't think you'd appreciate a phone call."

"Very funny." She raised a hand to keep her hair out of her face.

"I had to check up on my favorite patient," he finally elaborated. At that, frown lines appeared on his forehead. "Are you alright, Danielle?"

"I'm doing a lot better now. Thank you for saving my life," she said the last part softly.

He shook his head. "You shouldn't be thanking me. I should never have withheld medical attention from you in the first place." His shoulders hunched in, and suddenly he looked like a small ashamed boy.

She took his hand, surprising herself. His hand was cold in hers, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to make him warm. "I say 'thank you' because I mean it."

"I know." He offered a soft smile. "I love that about you."

She stared at him and he stared back. His eyes were crystalline blue in this light, standing out in his tanned face. He cut a striking figure against the grey of the sky, the deep greens of the cypress trees.

It occurred to her how isolated they were out there. And yet…

Zsasz had moved forward. He knelt down before her, knee in the dirt. "If you wouldn't mind, I would very much like to sit with you."

She poked her tongue out between her lips as she thought. Zsasz's eyes flickered to her mouth and then back up again.

"I would understand if you'd like solitude. Or silence. I could sit quietly with you. I just feel—" He sighed and looked down again.

He flinched when he felt her fingers on the back of his hand. Danielle patted the log next to her. "Please…"

His eyes lit up and he stumbled to his feet. Very unlike the usually graceful killer. "R-really? Thank you, Danielle!" He was blushing now. She couldn't be imagining it. It must have been the way her fingers still lingered on his scalp. She had never realized before how her touch affected him. Now, for some reason... she liked this realization. Goosebumps ran up her arms. He isn't the only one who's affected, she thought as she bit her lip.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Zsasz was leaning forward so he could see into her eyes better. She saw him quickly look down at her mouth again.

"Don't you ever wear a shirt?" She indicated his bare arms and chest.

Zsasz blinked. "I have been trained to withstand the most punishing of conditions, Danielle."

"Liar. I can see you're shivering."

"I'm no liar, Danielle. I did train that hard..." If she didn't know any better, she'd say he was pouting. Cutely, might she add.

"I know you did," she laughed, flashing him a grin. His face softened, and he smiled back with gusto. "So what have you been doing since-?"

"I- Oh, well, I… kind of spent a while in front of the hospital. I was scared for you," he admitted.

"Have you eaten?"

"A little." He had last eaten two days ago, a quick slice of bread and half of an already peeled orange – he'd gone dumpster diving behind the hospital. "Are you hungry, Danielle?"

"I'm OK, thanks." She reached into her bag and pulled out some fruit. "I have two tangerines."

She offered one to him. The small fruit looked like a fire in her hand, bright against the grey all around them.

"I love it here. It's so peaceful. People don't come here very much… You can just listen to the waves… And when it's sunny, you can see across the bay."

Zsasz nodded. "I've been here before."

"You have?" And then she wondered if it was to kill someone and decided it was better not to ask. "Oh."

"After my parents' deaths, I used to come out here a lot," he said softly.

Danielle's heart sank as she heard the dejected tone in his voice. "Zsasz… I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For what happened to your parents."

"Don't be." He looked out in the direction of the water. "There's nothing anyone could have done about it."

They sat in silence.

After a time, he picked up the tangerine and peeled it. He absently put a slice in his mouth and savored the sudden sweetness. Juice dripped from the edge of his mouth, and he licked it. Once again, he looked like a kid to Danielle.

A lost little boy.

"What were your parents like?"

Zsasz breathed in deeply. "My mother was beautiful, this gorgeous blonde lady, classic blonde, and she would have done just about anything for me. She loved me as I have never been loved before, with all the love of heaven. My father was a businessman – they both were, but my father's temperament… He was very work-driven, you see. But he loved me just as much as she did, and I knew it…"

His voice trailed off as he lost himself in a memory only he could see. The waves lapped lazily against the rocks below. Her stomach gurgled in response.

He had been alone for so long...

"What happened between you and Rā's?" She didn't want to aggravate him. Talking about memories wasn't easy, and if he didn't want to, she would respect that. But she felt she had to ask. He shouldn't have to keep it bottled up inside him.

He shook his head in response. "Another time, Danielle. I promise. But there's something I must say first." He looked seriously at her. Her stomach dropped at the sadness in his eyes.

"I can never atone enough for what I did, though I would very much like to. For starters, I'll own up to what I did. I tried to kill you."

Danielle nodded. "You did. I appreciate that you're owning it. It's not easy. I know you didn't mean to and that you regret it."

"More than anything in my whole life."

"...We've both tried to kill each other before, several times," Danielle said hesitantly. "It's kind of the basis for our friendship, don't you think?" She hadn't meant to sound like she was letting him off the hook. But if he was owning up to what he had done, then perhaps she needed to do the same. There had been at least one time where what she had done went beyond mere self-defense and strayed into revenge territory. The police might never blame her for it - Cindy, the only soul she had told, certainly didn't - but it mattered to her. And beyond that, she was guilty of his death. She had killed him after all, even if she had meant them both to go together.

"But… I thought we were passed that," Zsasz murmured, regret heavy in his voice.

"So did I."

They were both silent for a long moment.

"Are we going to try to kill each other today?" he asked tentatively. It seemed like such an odd question, but the way he spoke it, she could tell that he wished so much that they had a different basis of connection.

"No," she said gently. "I'm not in that kind of mood."

"Me neither, Danielle."

After that, the conversation began to flow more freely. They talked about the city's preparations for the winter holidays. Zsasz told her about a delicious Italian restaurant in the Bowery and their special Christmas Day dessert. Danielle talked about how they would mount the giant tree in the square downtown. For a moment they were lost in the memory of when they had "talked" in the square, back when Zsasz was trying to kill her. Sheepishly, Zsasz admitted that that day was the first time he began to notice Danielle in a more-than-mark kind of way. She was stunned into silence. On that day, she had been fearing for her life, but to hear Zsasz tell it, he had practically been flirting with her that day. How could we both have such different recollections of that conversation? she marveled. Zsasz began to reminisce on their other "courtship" days.

As they talked, Danielle leaned into Zsasz, her head resting against his shoulder. Her hair fluttered in the breeze, tickling the bare skin of his back. Zsasz shivered a little, but whether from the cold wind or Danielle's proximity, neither were completely sure.

"Why is it that I always find you by the water?" he wondered.

Amusement Mile's Piers, Gotham Square, the Sprang Bridge, here past Gotham Heights…

"I guess… the smell of the sea makes me feel… liberated." A smile bloomed across her face. "It makes me feel like I'm on a great adventure, like there's nowhere I can't go. Like I'm free. And the world is so big on the edge of everything."

"It galvanizes you."

"When I left my home, I came here by boat. My hometown is inland, so I'd never seen the ocean before." She trailed off.

"My mother and father loved to sail. They would go out sailing on their yacht and leave me to run their businesses while they were out. It was great practice for me, and it made their marriage… deeper and more beautiful. It is a thing of beauty when a husband and wife can make time for each other. They were so happy…." He sighed. "I suppose it only seems appropriate that that's where they died. Onboard their yacht, caught together in the summer of their joy and youth." He smiled sadly. "I wonder if they held each other as their boat capsized. I wonder if they were afraid. It couldn't have been for long. They were together…" He looked down.

Danielle's hand moved over his.

"Don't pity me, Danielle," he said softly. "Nor them. They lived happy lives together. Not everyone can claim to have had that."

"I wasn't pitying you, Zsasz. It's just... I wish you still had them. I wish you weren't left alone when they died."

Zsasz stared for a long moment into the beautiful brown eyes he loved so much. "...Thank you, Danielle."

They sat in silence for a long moment, lost in each others' gaze. Danielle didn't remove her hand. The air was tingling; they were tingling. She felt an ache deep inside her, and for the first time in their time together, she positively yearned to kiss him. The feeling startled her; since when did she want that with him?! But she couldn't deny it anymore. She held back for some reason. If this kinder, gentler Zsasz went away and was replaced by the killer he was before-

Danielle abruptly stood up. She kept Zsasz's hand in hers.

"C'mon, I'll buy you a jacket."

He blinked, coming out of his daze. "What?! But they're very expensive, Danielle! Do you have the money? You shouldn't put yourself out for me like that."

She could tell he was sincere, but behind his eyes, there was a glimpse of... hope, maybe. Or yearning. He wanted to say yes. Maybe he finally wanted to let someone else care for him, after so many years without his cherished parents.

"Consider it an early Christmas gift," she smiled.

Zsasz found himself offering a small smile back.

"Hey. You should smile more often."

"I smile all the time."

"You smirk evilly all the time. You look different when you smile."

"Different how?"

"Good different."

As they looked at each other, something else shifted in the air. At first, Danielle thought it was her imagination, perhaps the result of the swell of feelings she got when she looked at Zsasz. But a second later, she realized that the skies themselves had opened up. Dainty white flakes cascaded down gently, landing on her hair and shoulders.

"How beautiful…" she breathed.

She felt Zsasz's deft fingers brush against her. She glanced over, her eyes widened. She had no way of knowing, of course, that her pupils had quickly dilated when she looked at him, but Zsasz saw, and it pleased him beyond measure.

"There was a snowflake on your shoulder," he said coolly, hiding his enthusiasm.

"Well, yeah, it's snowing."

"I was taking it off of your coat."

"Oh," she breathed out, "Thanks."

He smirked. "Why so jumpy?"

"I wasn't jumpy."

"Yes you were."

"I wasn't."

He was positively gloating now. Her stomach fluttered at his teasing, almost sultry look. "Did you think I intended to do something more, Alive Girl?"

"Hah!" She sounded a great deal more confident than she felt.

"Admit it, you wanted me to do something more. What's your fantasy? You can tell me."

"I don't have a fantasy, Victor!" 'Denial' wasn't spelled 'Danielle', but it certainly came close.

"Then why do you tense up when I do this?" he ran his fingertips over her shoulder and was rewarded by a shudder.

"No reason!"

"I can stop if you want. I don't want to make you nervous."

"You don't make me nervous!" she insisted, fighting the blush on her cheeks.

"Don't I?"

"You do realize this is the longest we've gone without trying to kill each other, right?"

Being a gentleman, he had walked with her back towards town, even offering to carry her at one point. While she had declined, a huge part of her wanted to feel his arms around her, to rest her head on his shoulder and listen to his heartbeat warm against her. She seriously began to wonder if there was something wrong with her; where were all these weird hormonal thoughts coming from?!

Instead, she dragged him into a store and bought him a parka. He had snuggled into it, and if his sighs were to be believed, he just might have found himself a small piece of heaven inside the soft, warm material.

He had insisted she take a cab home, as she was still healing. She hadn't argued. And she found she was more than a little disappointed when he didn't kiss her goodbye.

When she entered her apartment later and turned on the lights, she was in for a surprise.

Everything was clean. Danielle was never a messy person to begin with, but it looked as though every surface had been polished, and the walls had a noticeable gleam to them. Plus it smelled like lemon cleaner …and flowers.

It felt different in here. It felt… safer, all of the sudden. Like some evil presence had been removed. But how-?

She followed the scent of flowers into her kitchen. There on the island stood a vase of bird-of-paradise and white lilies. It had been the lilies she smelled, their soft perfume filling up the apartment.

Danielle walked slowly up to the flowers, where a card sat waiting for her. She picked it up and read the short but sweet note scrawled:

"There is soup in the refrigerator. I cleaned your apartment thoroughly. No more nightmares. ~V.Z."

Her eyes widened and instinctively she went to the door of her bedroom. She looked inside. Her bed was empty. He wasn't here. Of course not; she had left him standing on the corner, waving as her taxi departed, but just for a moment, she had hoped he'd somehow beaten her here..

Danielle felt a surge of disappointment. But as she traced the scrawled writing on Zsasz's note, a soft smile bloomed across her face.

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