A/N: God let me end this fucking sad streak!
ALSO! So if any of you guys are gif dorks like me, you find one for almost every situation. Well, the one that applies to me is the gif of Diane Keaton crying at her laptop from the movie 'Something's Gotta Give'. Literally these past two chapters have me looking around sobbing and regretting every life choice that made me write such sad things! But we are coming to the end of sad times...for a while. Then another sad thing…then maybe a happy epilogue? Meh I dunno.
ALSO AGAIN! Don't give me shit for watching twilight. I got the title for this song when I was watching the movie while I was cleaning and at the end it came on and it's got SUCH a great sad and beautiful tune. It's by Flightless Birds and called 'American Mouth'. Give it a listen. Super Sad. OR just listen to the 'White Swan Pas de Deux' cuz that was a close contender for this chapter title too.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter forty-seven: American Mouth
After her destructive outburst, Kagome was moved into the hospital's psychiatric ward; place under constant supervision and restraint. Despite the family's insistence that she wasn't dangerous, hospital staff deemed the girl a risk to her own safety, requiring further sedative measures while she came to terms with reality. The injuries incurred during the hysterical fit, specifically the new gashes in her arms from where the I.V.s had been ripped out, were stitched and bandaged. They would only add to the array of scars that served as reminders of this part of her life.
Feeling betrayed and misjudged, Kagome denied her family to visit out of spite and shame. For the first few days, she resigned herself to a catatonic state that left Kagome staring up at the ceiling for hours on end. She had so much resentment towards anyone that had a hand in saving her; starting with Kouga and ending with the doctors at the hospital. Her overwhelmed and tormented mind didn't know how to feel grateful to still be alive, not if this was how life would be for her. Kagome didn't see the worth in continuing to live now that everyone knew the shame and humiliation she'd endured these past two years.
Her body screamed to be given more morphine as the withdrawals became unbearable. Nerves were firing off on their own as they began healing, though it felt as if she was burning alive from inside. Kagome could be heard screaming and wailing to be put out of her misery, which her family had to witness from a distance, lest their presence further upset her. It was hard to wrap their minds around the fact that their daughter had been reduced to such a state. It nearly killed Sesshoumaru to be reminded of his mother's similar situation. He wanted nothing more than to take Kagome away and care for her in the way she did when Kimi passed.
After the first four days, the symptoms became manageable and less-intense. Kagome no longer begged and demanded for pain medication or assisted suicide, as she had previously felt that death was a better alternative to the painful recovery. However, there was a catch; with the diminished physical pain came more awareness of the mental and emotional issues that still prevailed. Now that her sanity was repaired, and she could think rationally, Kagome realized just how significantly she had changed. Her body would return to some semblance of what it once was; but her mind and spirit might never recover. How would she interact with the people who remembered her as a smiling, friendly person? And after her most recent deplorable behavior, would they even want to be around her? On the day she was discharged from the hospital, Kagome was asked who would be picking her up.
"Um…I-I don't know." She mumbled softly as the psych nurse removed the I.V. from her hand. Who could Kagome bare to be around at that moment? Only one person came to mind. "Sesshoumaru Inu-Taisho…" He was the only one who Kagome trusted to not overwhelm or burden her with prodding questions.
Thirty minutes later, after the release forms had all been signed and she was free to go, Kagome waited for her only trusted confidant to arrive at the front of the building. She had been provided with a set of surgical scrubs to wear, as the clothes she had arrived in were turned into police custody as evidence. The green uniform was two sizes too big, draping over her slight frame and dragging past her heels as she walked barefoot past the sliding hospital doors. At first glance, she even resembled one of the Hospital's staff members; further hiding her identity and encouraging people to ignore her presence. Thankfully, no one had tipped off the media that she was being released. They would have only bombarded her with questions and accusations, unsympathetic or sensitive to her fragile sate.
Kagome felt clean for the first time in weeks. Thanks to a very generous and patient nurse, she'd been given a sponge-bath and even hair had been washed. It was almost therapeutic to be so pampered and cared for, taking her back to the day Izayoi had washed her as a small girl. The nurse even went as far as brushing Kagome's long tresses and weaving them into a loose braid. Fresh faced and clean, Kagome appeared much healthier and alive now. There was no longer a need for bandages, as most of her fresh scars had healed past the need for coverage. All that was left were the diminishing yellow bruises that speckled her body.
But as Kagome sat on the bench outside, surrounded by the landscaped flowers and shrubbery that blossomed in the Summer months, she forgot all about her aches and pains. Instead, Kagome shut her eyes and tilted her head back, allowing the Sun's warmth to bathe her in comforting heat that she hadn't felt in years. The breeze was a gentle caress against her skin, carrying with it the smell of flowers that surrounded the hospital grounds. She listened to the other patients coming and going through the glass doors to her right. Cars were pulling up to the entrance in order to drop off and pick up loved ones, and soon Sesshoumaru would be there to do the same. It was a refreshingly mundane scene that everyone around her took for granted.
The pull of another car's tires against dark pavement did not give Kagome reason to open her eyes; nor did the sound of a door opening and closing. She was happy to remain there, blissfully enveloped in warm light, left alone to herself. Then a voice rose above the noise, seeming to drown out everything around her.
"Kagome." His voice, as deep and rich as she remembered it to be, said her name. It brought back memories of childhood that filled Kagome with bittersweet nostalgia. She opened her eyes finally, blinking against the bright sunlight as his form came into view. Sesshoumaru was leaning against the passenger door of his black car, sunglasses perched atop his head and a faint smile tugging at his lips. His silver hair was still short, but long enough to expose his natural waves. Kagome saw how much he had grown in the past two years, which suddenly felt like two decades, since their last moments together. "It's time to come home." He beckoned her gently, unfolding his arms in a welcoming gesture.
Kagome nodded her head and braced herself on the bench's arm to stand up. The nineteen-year-old's body felt as if it had aged fifty years. While the painful symptoms of withdrawal had gone away, she was still left incredibly weak and fatigued. It would take some time for muscles and joints to heal, and she'd eventually regain a normal balance of strength and energy. There was only ten or so feet of space between them, but it took Kagome some time to cross the distance due to her slow strides. She was like a fragile leaf still clinging to its branch during a terrible storm; one gust of wind would pluck it free and send it cascading to the ground. Any sudden movements or jarring emotions could unravel the meager amount of strength in Kagome's recovering body.
She couldn't bring herself to look into his beautiful face, and again that painful lump began forming in the back of Kagome's throat. Oh God, how she had missed this man. He had been her hero for so long, her dearest friend during all of life's greatest and most terrible moments. Sesshoumaru was even more amazing now than he had been before; because now he was a fully developed man, husband, and father with all the world open to him. What could he think of her now? As Kagome came to stop in front of him, her head bowed and hot tears staining her face, she waited for him to step aside to let her into the car. Instead, he simply lifted his arms up and waited. A sob choked her when Kagome realized what he was offering and, slowly, she accepted.
Leaning forward, Kagome brought her forehead towards Sesshoumaru to rest it in the valley of his strong chest. Her arms weren't sure what to do and remained folded loosely between them. Kagome was motionless as she felt his powerful arms encircle her, drawing her body into his and offering the strength she lacked. It was such a tight embrace that Kagome found it hard to breath, but it was the only thing keeping her from crumbling on the sidewalk in front of everyone else. Sesshoumaru brought his cheek to rest atop her soft head, momentarily feeling like the seventeen and twelve-year-old versions of themselves.
While one arm remained tight around Kagome's shoulders, the other began rubbing soothing circles into her back. Kagome took in a deep breath that she didn't know she'd been holding, and instantly was bombarded by his familiar scent. As she exhaled, her body trembled uncontrollably at the anguish of realizing just how much she'd missed him, as well as her entire family.
"I missed you so much!" She whimpered softly, voice muffled by his shirt. Sesshoumaru felt his chest tighten upon hearing it. Once upon a time, she had said those same words on the day he returned home from college.
"I missed you too. Everyone did." He pulled back to let her catch some fresh air. Kagome finally allowed herself to look up into Sesshoumaru's face. He was smiling down at her, the warmest and most sympathetic expression she had ever seen on his face, and she felt herself returning the gesture. There were no words between the two, there wasn't a need for them. Sesshoumaru opened the car door for Kagome, helped her settle into the low seat, then returned to the driver's side. Kagome relaxed finally, fastened the safety belt across her chest, and watched Sesshoumaru started the engine. As she wiped away the fallen tears from her face, Kagome thought to herself that maybe life could go back to normal.
The voice of a popular local radio host filled the car, and he just-so-happened to be reporting about the angry mob currently rallying outside the courthouse. They were rebuking the officers being indicted of corruption and blackmailing; a story directly linked to Kagome's situation. There was mention of the raid, reminding listeners just what the police had willingly turned a blind eye on, and Kagome's name was mentioned.
Sesshoumaru quickly shut the noise off, then glanced at Kagome through the corner of his eye. She was looking wistfully out the window as he drove them home, her face vacant of expression. Sesshoumaru knew that live radio could be a dangerous risk, so he took out his phone to play music stored on the device. With it connected to the car via Bluetooth technology, he chose a song and it began playing through the speakers.
It was one that Kagome used to play during her Ballet practice, 'White Swan Pas de Deux', and it instantly brought a smile to her weary face. As Sesshoumaru continued to drive home, he stole glances at the girl seated next to him. She was slouched against the door, her head resting on the window with eyes shut. He wondered what she could be thinking of. Had Sesshoumaru been gifted with the ability to read minds, he'd see that she was entertaining thoughts of dancing on stage, dressed in a beautiful costume, and being praised with thunderous applause.
As the car pulled into the curved drive way, Kagome gazed up at the manor's façade with somber, blue eyes. The lawn had been landscaped differently, the roof retiled, and the door painted a new color. Even the gravel in the driveway looked different. Kagome lamented over how much had been changed already; and this was only the outside of her childhood home. Would the walls be painted a new color? Had furniture been updated? Was her room still hers? Suddenly, the passenger door was being opened, causing Kagome to give a surprised jump. Sesshoumaru was standing there, hand extended to her, encouraging the girl to take the first steps back towards her life.
With an arm around her shoulders, supporting most of her weight, Sesshoumaru slowly walked Kagome up the steps to the front door and opened it for them. Memories of all the times she'd entered this house came flooding back, but they all seemed like images of an old dream long forgotten. This place didn't feel like her home anymore. As Sesshoumaru walked Kagome past the threshold and into the grand foyer, she searched for something familiar. The hardwood floors were different, new paintings had been hung on differently colored walls, and the furniture she grew up with was no longer there. Was nothing the same?
As the door shut behind them, signaling their arrival, Kagome heard the scraping of chairs against tiled floors down the hallway. There were sets of footsteps coming from the kitchen. She could hardly breath as those footsteps became louder, knowing that it was her family eagerly approaching. Kagome dreaded seeing their disappointed and judgmental reactions, knowing they were aware of exactly what had been done to her.
Thank God for Sesshoumaru's continued hold on her shoulders, because without it Kagome would have collapsed already. All the air left her lungs when Kagome saw her parent's worried faces come around the corner. Sesshoumaru felt Kagome's legs buckle under her and tightened his hold to keep her upright. "Gentle, everyone." He said out loud, mostly to Izayoi, as they entered the foyer. Natural daylight filtered inside via the windows, casting a soft glow into the beautiful space. Touga was standing behind his wife, one hand resting on her back as he tried to control it from trembling. Kagome was standing in their home once more; he had been wishing for this moment for the past two years.
The emotional mother had tears in her eyes as she forced herself to refrain from taking Kagome into her arms, coming to a hesitant stop a few feet away. The two women stared at one another; the older filled with a mixture of happiness and sadness, and the other terrified and ashamed. No one spoke, words eluding everyone in that moment. Then, two graceful arms reached out towards Kagome, delicate fingers grasping desperately to take the girl into her embrace.
"Kagome." Izayoi's voice was hardly above a whisper, but it was enough to break the ice. Kagome felt a pull towards Izayoi, similar to the times that she, as a child, woke up from a nightmare and called out for comfort. The woman who Kagome knew to be her mother looked so much older than she remembered, but her smile was just as beautiful as before. In that instant, Kagome realized that Izayoi did not harbor the negative feelings or thoughts that she feared would be there.
"Mommy." Kagome whimpered tearfully before she fell into her mother's chest. Sesshoumaru released his hold on her and took a few steps back. The dam was broken as she lost all the strength in her body, placing all her weight against Izayoi's frame. Sobs wracked Kagome's frail body and she buried her face into the older woman's bosom, relishing in the familiar scent of perfume and refusing to let them see her shame. Izayoi held Kagome's body close to her, pushing past her own tears as she soothed and comforted the broken teenager. Kisses fell across the top of Kagome's head, as if to make up for the years she went without them. The two women found themselves beginning to crumble to the dark, hardwood flooring; both lost in the overpowering relief of their reunion.
Then, there was a pair of strong arms pulling Kagome up from behind. Triggered by two years of torture and being restrained in a similar way, primal fear suddenly riled up inside Kagome. Touga had come around to embrace his precious daughter, thinking enough healing had occurred to allow him the chance to hold her again. But when she jerked away, as if he'd taken a hot iron to her skin, the older man realized that there was much left to repair before he could freely touch her.
"No!" Kagome's voice broke out pitifully as she began pushing away from her parents, eyes shut tightly and face scrunching into a terrified expression. She didn't see what sort of consequences her actions had, nor the hurt look in Izayoi's eyes as the woman took a step back from her hysterical child. Touga remained, however, refusing to let Kagome dig herself into a deeper emotional hole.
"Ssh, ssh, ssh…it's me, Kagome. It's your dad." He kept remarkable control of his voice, making it soft and calming even as he took a strong hold of her dainty wrists. Touga was still behind his daughter, his larger frame looming over her as he forced her arms to cross over her chest. The position kept her hands pinned against the opposite shoulder, preventing her from lashing out in fear and anger. Kagome fought against his tight clutch, her shoulders roughly pushing back into his chest and legs weakly trying to pull her away from him.
"Stop it! You're hurting me!" She begged helplessly, sounding like she was in a great deal of pain. But Touga remained unyielding as he pressed his cheek to the back of her head, his own gaze locking onto the torn expression on Izayoi's face. No one wanted to see Kagome's so tormented, but he would not let her go until she realized that this was a safe place.
"Stop fighting, baby. You don't have to fight anymore." He whispered into her ear, watching as she began to give in and accept him. Kagome's body slumped, forcing Touga to take a knee as he remained hunched over her weeping form. As she knelt below him, her back pressed into his front, Touga kept his daughter's upper-body suspended from falling to the ground as well. The foyer was filled with the sounds of her crying and his gentle whispers. Izayoi stepped forward to kneel in front of her daughter, gingerly pulling the girls face to rest against her chest once again.
"We love you so much, Kagome. No matter what happened, you are our daughter and nothing will make us stop loving you." Izayoi's words were garbled by the sobs wracking her own body, but the meaning and feeling was evident to everyone watching. Sesshoumaru watched from his place by the door, trying to keep himself from being overcome by the emotions he was feeling, and noticed a figure appearing from the kitchen.
Inuyasha had been waiting for Kagome's arrival with his parents. When they all heard the door close, he selflessly let them go to her first. He wasn't ready just yet; the guilt he carried and the uncertainty of Kagome's feelings towards him making it difficult to join the reunion. Still recovering from the gunshot to his shoulder, Inuyasha's arm remained held inside a sling that kept the appendage close to his side. It was difficult having his dominant hand so immobilized, but with every day came more and more ease of use. In a few weeks, he would be able to return to his full-time musical career; which had once again been put on hold.
Upon hearing the emotional breakdown occurring down the hall, Inuyasha gathered the courage to join his family in the foyer. He walked slowly, wanting to postpone it as long as possible, and came out to see his father cradling Kagome on the floor, hunched over her as she had fallen to her knees. She was dressed in scrubs provided by the hospital, her hair still that uncharacteristic ombre of black and blonde, and on her arms he saw the healing injuries yet to fade away. None of this registered for him though. All of those were superficial things; the important issue was to help Kagome pick up the pieces of her broken life and bring her to a better place.
"I probably would have tried to kill myself if Shippou hadn't come along. He's the only reason I bothered to stick around. For two years I was Naraku's whore and punching bag. He let his friends take turns with me and forced me to do disgusting things. I won't ever be able to forget it."
The Courtroom was silent as the audio recording of Kagome's testimony ended; leaving a heavy air of pity and sadness in the spacious room. The Gallery was full of individuals affected by the crimes committed by the defendant, Naraku Itou. Outside the federal building, a media circus waited impatiently for the verdict to be announced. It'd bring a close to the terrible story that captivated the nation. Back inside, the prosecuting attorney came to the lectern to speak, her face a serious mask as she addressed the Jury.
"Members of the Jury, what you've just listened to is the testimony of Kagome Higurashi, recorded by Lead Detective Kouga Mitsurashi during her stay at the hospital. She could not be here today to say it in person, because it would be morally unjustifiable to put her in the same room as her rapist and abuser. You've seen the pictorial evidence of what she, and countless other women, were subjected to at Mr. Itou's place of business. You've seen the images of their physical injuries, the state of squalor they had to live in, and the long-lasting effects his drug had on their bodies. But that does not do justice to the horror and abuse they endured; only Kagome's testimony could prove the depths of depravity that occurred within those walls."
The lawyer, a passionate African American woman who had recently been appointed as a U.S. attorney, allowed a moment to pass for the Jury to come to terms with what they'd just heard. Today was Naraku's sentencing, and the final opportunity to sway the Jury to demand punishment and retribution to the fullest extent of the law.
"Though Kagome, the other captives, and the women who were murdered, are the main victims of Mr. Itou's heinous crimes, there are others who have been impacted that we must also acknowledge. Next, you will hear the victim impact statement from Kagome Higurashi's family. I call Mr. Taisho to the stand." From the Gallery of seats behind the bar, Touga stood up and made his way towards the front of the courtroom. His family was seated beside him, all destroyed by Kagome's recorded testimony. Izayoi leaned into Inuyasha's side as she tried to keep her crying silent.
As he passed through the space between the defense and prosecution desks, Touga ignored the maniacal gaze Naraku trained on him. The deranged man was in a dark orange prison jumpsuit, chains around his ankles and wrists to prevent mobility. One hand was bound in a plaster cast, never to heal correctly after being shot. He was the last to be sentenced, as Charlie and Miss Jane had been given life without the option of parole already. After Touga was sworn in by the bailiff, he took the seat inside the witness stand. From the pocket inside his suit jacket, Touga pulled a tri-folded sheet of paper. Then, from the same pocket, a picture was revealed and handed to the bailiff.
"I've been given permission by the court to show you this image." He began simply, voice controlled and level as the officer handed the image to the nearest Jury member. It was a picture of Kagome at her final performance, still dressed in a beautiful white tutu and proudly holding a first-place trophy in her arms. Each Jury member took time to study the image before handing it to the person beside them. "This is the last picture I have of Kagome, taken the night she was abducted. I want this to be what you see when you think of her, because this is what was stolen from my family two years ago." There was an unnatural pause in his speech, though it was necessary to allow the grieving father a chance to calm his emotions.
"Because of someone else's jealousy and greed, my daughter paid the ultimate sacrifice. And though the person who designed her abduction and torture is not here to answer for her actions, the man who carried out the abuse is. I have known both of them for years, celebrated birthdays and considered business dealings, which only gives me more reason to grieve. They did not commit these crimes against a stranger, but against someone who knew and trusted them since childhood. Had I considered it possible for someone so close to me to be capable of this, I know that Kagome would have been found and rescued much sooner; and other victims would have not suffered similar fates as she." Inu-Tiaho's throat became tight as he came to the next section of his long statement. After clearing his throat and looking to his family for strength, he continued.
"Kagome came to our family in a very unexpected way. She had been homeless and very sick when my wife ran into her one night. She required extensive medical treatment to survive, and would need round-the-clock care to recover. Initially it was guilt and obligation that allowed for Kagome to enter our home as a foster child. What was meant to be a temporary solution became the most humbling and rewarding gift once we decided to adopt Kagome. My wife and I had lost our first daughter to cancer a few years prior, and Kagome brought back the warm and light that had been missing since Rin's death." From the Gallery, he could hear Izayoi's sobs.
"For eleven years, we raised her as our own child. Despite being given terrible circumstances, she grew up to be the most loving and generous person I know. I foolishly believed that there wasn't a person who knew her that didn't love her, because to know her is to love her. At seventeen, she was more than just an average teenager; Kagome was on the path to becoming something more than that. Years of hard work and sacrifice had paid off because she was planning on attending Juilliard in hopes of becoming a professional dancer. It's all she ever wanted out of life, and we later found out that she had indeed been accepted into the prestigious conservatory." Again, another pause as his voice began to hold that tell-tale tremor of raging emotions.
"But all of our hopes and dreams for her future were taken the night of Kagome's final performance. Someone had calculated every detail of her abduction, and they are just as guilty as the man being sentenced today. For over a year we rallied support and awareness of Kagome's disappearance, though it ended up being all for nothing because of the police corruption; again, thanks to the defendant. He watched as my family imploded on itself with worry for our daughter's fate, all while growing closer to us in the name of support and sympathy." At this point, Inu-Taisho finally chanced a seething glance at Naraku, who returned it with a sickening smile.
"It was the not knowing that made those two years the worst our lives; we had no way of knowing if she was alive or dead. As a parent, you must know that feeling is the most unbearable to endure. If you are not a parent, then you cannot even imagine it. A year after her abduction, we began to regard Kagome as having died. We were met with only resistance by police, and public interest in her case had died down, forcing us to put an end to our own search. I am ashamed to admit that it was easier to assume she was dead. My family and I were driving ourselves to insanity thinking about what sort of situation she could be in if Kagome was still alive. Needless to say, part of me wishes she hadn't been alive, because death is less cruel than what they did to her for two years." Finally, he broke down and could not continue with the statement.
The courtroom watched uncomfortably as Touga hunched his back and covered his face, weeping openly as everything became overwhelming and too intense to handle. Inuyasha wanted to rush to his father's side, but Izayoi held him as she continued to cry as well. Sesshoumaru shifted in the wooden pew they were seated on, ready to disrupt the court in order to help his father. The U.S. attorney approached the distraught man and whispered to him, asking if he needed a recess or for someone to finish the statement.
"No…I can finish it." He reassured her after collecting himself and wiping the tears away from his face. Touga was not ashamed to be seen crying. "Kagome is not the same person she was, and will never be that way again. My fear is that she will not find happiness again, that she will remain guarded and untrusting of the world around her. They stole her sense of security and innocence, in every sense of the word. My daughter does not laugh or dance or find joy in the things that once made her so happy, and it entirely the fault of the defendant and his sister. My recommendation for the Jury is to deny the defendant the thing he denied my daughter; freedom. Do not give him hope of a normal life one day, or the promise of satisfaction after years of feigned 'good behavior'. He is a plague to society who deserves nothing but punishment to the fullest extent of the law. Give my daughter, and his countless other victims, the justice that they deserve."
After Inu-Taisho returned to his seat in the Gallery, the court proceeded. The Judge dismissed the Jury to deliberate a final verdict and recommended sentence, which took them only an hour to agree upon. When they filed back into their seats along the side of the room, the Taisho family took each other's hands in a silent show of support and hoped for a favorable outcome. Everyone waited with held breathes as the foreman was asked to announce their judgement.
"Today was a victory for justice and reason, as well as common decency. Had there been any other verdict, it would have been a dishonor to the judicial system and to Naraku Itou's many victims." The U.S. attorney spoke confidently and proudly as various field reporters held their microphones towards her face. She was standing on the steps outside the courthouse, answering their questions one at a time. The Taisho's had left the premises through a different exit, escorted by personal security and protected from the frenzied media. Finally, it was over.
There was the issue of Kikyou's continued evasion of being apprehended. Authorities believed she had fled the state, finding refuge somewhere under a false identity. She was reported as a wanted criminal with a sizable bounty on her head. The news team once again flashed an image of Kikyou's beautiful face, as well as the phone number to call if anyone had information that could lead to her arrest.
The large flat screen television went black as Kagura hit the power button on the remote. She was seated beside Kagome, with Ayame and Sango taking the girl's other side on the couch. All four had been watching the live new report, anxious to know what sort of fate would befall Naraku. For all of them, it felt like a weight had been lifted.
"Wow, life in solitary confinement without parole…" Ayame thought out loud, looking forward as she considered what sort of experience that would feel like. Sango scoffed and crossed her arms as she leaned back into the couch.
"For once, I wish our state supported the death penalty. They all deserve it." She muttered bitterly. Kagura shot her a warning look, similar to a mother chastising their child, then turned her attention to Kagome. It had been a week since her return from the hospital. For two days, she became a recluse inside her old bedroom, eating only at night when everyone else was asleep. Little by little, she began to rejoin the outside world; though it felt as if she merely wanted to observe her family going about their lives rather than interact with them. She was like a ghost roaming the massive home, thoughtless and without a purpose.
When it was revealed that Shippou was going to be brought into the family as a foster child, as his family was confirmed to have died, Kagome had instantly livened up. She had been unresponsive and distant towards her family, but seemed to turn all of her emotions towards Shippou as they leaned on each other for support and recovery. While on paper it stated that Touga and Izayoi were to be his foster parents, Shippou treated Kagome as his mother and them as unfamiliar hosts that needed to get to know him better.
He was given use of Sesshoumaru's old bedroom, which would soon be filled with things a ten-year-old boy would enjoy and feel comfortable with. Both he and Kagome had been given much needed hair-cuts to remove the years of damage that left him with knots and dreads. Without much to salvage, Shippou now sported a shaved cut, which would soon grow out into beautiful auburn locks. Kagome's length of hair had been cut to stop just at her shoulders, feeling light and smooth now that the damaged ends were gone. Her bangs were styled to sweep across her forehead and the familiar wave and body of her black hair was a welcomed sight.
Currently, Shippou was in Inuyasha's room, playing on the gaming system without a care in the world. He was a resilient little thing, already seeming to bounce back to a somewhat normal state. Of course, there were times he acted out and said inappropriate things, but Kagome's guidance and surprising patience always managed to calm him down. It seemed as he was her new reason and purpose in life. There were nights Shippou snuck into her room, desperate for comfort and unaccustomed to sleeping alone. Never were the two apart, which Kagome used as a means of preventing her family, namely Inuyasha, from asking questions or discussing things that had happened.
Kagura's infant son, a healthy seven-month-old named Koichi (who had his mother's jet-black hair and his father's amber eyes), was sleeping in her arms; completely unaware of the troubles that surrounded him. After checking to make sure he was still comfortable, Kagura spoke to the three younger girls beside her. "It's settled now." She stated bluntly, catching all of their attention. At that moment, Ayame was hugging Kagome's shoulders as the youngest friend accepted the welcomed support. "Let's move on." How easy it was to say those words; but how daunting it was to attempt them.
"Whatcha cooking?" Inuyasha had just entered the house when he smelled delicious and appetizing scents coming from the kitchen. It was a Sunday afternoon and he'd been called into a meeting with the record producer who wanted to discuss possible tour options. Izayoi was in the kitchen with Blanca, cooking and preparing a meal that would hopefully cheer up Kagome. The following day, she would be boarding a plane headed to Washington State where the country's most prestigious and well-received rehabilitation facility was located. Twenty-eight days there were supposed to undo two years of emotional and mental trauma.
"We're making Blanca's chicken alfredo with Italian bread and a double-fudge chocolate cake." Izayoi informed sweetly as she continued to sauté the chicken breasts. Blanca was standing at the counter, mixing a bowl of brown goop that Inuyasha could only assume would be baked into a cake. Smiling handsomely, he stepped into the kitchen and pulled a spoon out of the silverware drawer. Neither woman protested as he dipped it into the chocolate mixture, twirling it a few times as a thin thread of chocolate tried to fall back into the bowl.
"Sounds great. Can't wait." He said nonchalantly and backed out of the kitchen, happy to leave them to the task. It could only be assumed that his father was in the living room, watching after Koichi while also enjoying a football game, as Sesshoumaru and Kagura finished their work days at the office. That left meant Kagome was somewhere in the house, doting after Shippou no doubt. As the, now, twenty-two-year-old went to leave the dining area, he happened to glance outside through the windows.
Kagome was seated in one of the cushioned lounge chairs, facing the warm sunset that painted the sky in oranges and purples as night began to encroach. Between her legs, Shippou rested his back against her front, both seemingly lost in their own peaceful world. Over a week had passed since Naraku's sentencing, and while everyone else was able to move on from it; Kagome seemed stuck in a conflicted frame of mind. She was distant towards everyone, but none more than Inuyasha, which hurt him beyond measure. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but there was never an opportunity to catch her alone. Everyone was aware of his feelings and intentions for Kagome, except for Kagome herself.
Quietly, he opened the French door and stepped outside into the warm Summer air. The chocolate covered spoon was still held in his hand, it's purpose meant to please Kagome's once notorious sweet tooth. Taking the steps towards her, Inuyasha quickly realized that Kagome was humming as Shippou napped against her. She must have heard him, because the humming stopped and he saw her shoulder's tense.
"Hey, Kagome." He spoke in a hushed tone before taking the empty chair near hers. She didn't respond past nodding her head, her attention focused on petting Shippou's fuzzy head the way he liked. As Inuyasha relaxed in the comfortable seat, he dared to look at Kagome while her gaze was away from him. She was dressed in a pair of tight jeans, which hugged her beautiful legs and trim waist as if they were made to fit perfectly. Her feet were bare, toes painted a bright peach color with cute flower designs on the two largest nails. A white tank-top hugged her torso, keeping her from overheating during the warm Summer evening. Bare arms draped across Shippou's front, holding him close as his head rested on the soft cushion of her chest. The scars were healing well, only noticeable to those who knew that they existed, and would continue to fade with the help of specific creams. On her left shoulder, just below her collarbone, a basic tattoo remained as the last physical reminder of her time at the Lizard Lounge. Inuyasha tore his eyes away from it and finally examined her beautiful, somber face.
Kagome eyes always seemed downcast, dark lashes framing blue eyes that once were bright and searching. The bruises on her face were finally healed and no more, but the image of them would never completely leave Inuyasha's memories. Her dark hair was pulled back into a pony-tail, keeping her neck exposed and cool. She was tragically breathtaking, looking years older than nineteen. Eventually, she lifted her gaze and briefly looked at Inuyasha, for the first time in weeks.
"Yes?" She asked softly, with an almost bothered tone. Inuyasha extended the chocolate covered spoon to her, a peace offering of sorts. Numbly, Kagome took the utensil into her delicate grasp and put it into her mouth, sucking and licking the sweet chocolate batter without a thank you to the one who gave it to her.
"I'll miss you while you're gone, Kagome." He offered tentatively, not sure what was safe to say while she was like this. Kagome seemed unaffected by it though, her eyes now watching the sunset. That was getting pretty annoying now. How could she go from crying over his bleeding body to out-right ignoring him now? Inuyasha realized that Kagome had no chance of getting away now, Shippou was asleep in her lap and she wouldn't dare to wake him up. This was his only chance to talk to her before she left. "Do you hate me?" It was tactless and blunt, but effective.
Kagome's eyes widened momentarily before settling back into a blasé expression. She removed the spoon from her mouth and took her time to answer.
"I don't know. I can't tell what feelings I have for you." She said those words as if they had no significance or consequence. Each one was like driving a knife further into Inuyasha's heart. He sat forward and stared hard at her, unwilling to accept such a cruel answer.
"Well, I love you. I'm in love with you and everyone knows it now. I'm gonna wait however long it takes for you to love me back. So you can treat me like shit all you want; it's not gonna scare me off or push me away." Though the words were sincere and romantic in nature, the tone he used sounded as if they were insults or meant to challenge her. Kagome's blue eyes shut as she heaved a heavy sigh. Those were the words she had been wanting to hear for so long, even before her abduction, but now Kagome wasn't sure how to feel.
"How many times did you tell Kikyou that you loved her? How did you propose to her? Were you looking forward to the wedding night and sharing a life with her?" Turning the accusing questions onto him, Kagome needed Inuyasha to understand just how much Kikyou had tormented her. He was silent, unable to respond, which she expected. "Kikyou made sure I knew just how well you were getting on without me. She told me everything that went on between you two; everything. It killed me to know that you went back to her, but it was worse when she showed me the engagement ring." Kagome's eyes remained shut as she relived those terrible moments.
Inuyasha watched her with guilt and sadness, now understanding the reason behind her cold shoulder and distant behavior. Running a hand through his silky white hair, he searched for an adequate answer.
"I-I don't know why I let myself get sucked back into a relationship with her. I mean we started off as friends. She seemed to have changed for the better, and I was so lonely and upset. Things just sort of snowballed into a relationship because she was around all the time, helping with dad and all that. I never really felt like I was in love with her…but it was better than being alone. I thought you were dead, Kagome. I didn't know how else to move on." It felt as if they were all the wrong words to say, but each one was completely honest. Kagome's mouth became a thin line as she remained frozen in her chair.
"Not a day went by that I didn't think about you, or miss you, or wish for you to come home. I know nothing comes close to how much you suffered, but it wasn't easy for me either. It took losing you to realize how much I love you, Kagome. I missed fighting with you and holding your hand and watching you dance; everything. I missed everything about you. But now," Inuyasha's voice broke as he hunched over, elbows pressing into his bent knees. He seemed defeated, causing Kagome to finally open her eyes and look at him.
"Now?" She repeated curiously, still refusing to let him see her hurt and confusion. Inuyasha held her beautiful gaze for a few seconds, but eventually couldn't bare it and let his head drop.
"Now, it feels like you're still not here. I miss you Kagome so much, and I feel so alone without you. I know I fucked up, and I feel sick to my stomach that I was with Kikyou while she did those things to you. But you won't even look at me, and that hurts even more. You act like you hate me, or don't even care at all, and all I want to do is hold you and be with you." He looked back up, fresh tears bristling in his yellow eyes, catching Kagome off guard. She quickly turned her head away, averting her gaze to the glistening surface of the pool.
"Inuyasha, I missed you too. But you're asking too much of me. I am barely holding myself together now. I don't really blame you for going back to her. Kikyou betrayed you too and you still have to get over that. But I don't believe you when you tell me that you love me. It's like you'll say it to anyone just so you won't be alone." A tear rolled down her cheek, and Inuyasha watched as Kagome brought her hand up to wipe it away.
"I'm so sorry, Kagome. There has to be a way to make you believe me. Tell me what to do, and I will do it." He promised with a strained voice, fighting every urge to gather her into his arms. Kagome took a shuddering breath, which caused Shippou to stir.
"Keep your promise that you'll wait for me. No matter how long I need, promise that you'll wait til I come back." Shippou yawned loudly and began to sit up in Kagome's lap, stretching his arms and arching his back. Inuyasha didn't want the brat to see him crying, so he quickly stood up and brushed the unshed tears from his eyes.
"I can do that." Was all he told her, then left to go back inside.