my fingers hurt

Everything was dark but blindingly bright, everything hurt and hurt and hurt. Together and apart, my body was pulled together and torn apart so many times I lost count, went numb to it all. Screeching laughter rang in my ears- my own? Or his? I couldn't tell anymore, I was so far gone in my own mind. I couldn't tell where I ended and he began, where he ended and madness took hold and I was spiralling, falling, landing painfully against the cold, hard ground, and the cycle stopped, and began again.

My mind was my worst enemy, tearing my psyche and clawing my will, snarling and fighting back but failing, always failing, not strong enough to save me no matter what I did, no matter the consequences of the failure, no matter how much I begged and pleaded and asked "Why, why me?"

My beautiful city burned outside me, while I burned within.

The cycle ended again, but before it could start back, an endless rotation of pain and suffering, cold hands closed around my shoulders and yanked. I stumbled back, coming back to myself, becoming aware of a darkness not as dark as the one I was trapped in, standing in front of me, shaking my shoulders and yelling "Henry, get ahold of yourself!"

I blinked, suddenly aware that I was looking in a mirror. Or at least, it seemed as such, until the mirror hauled back and slapped me across the face, startling me out of my numbness.

"What-"

"There he is, that's my Henry," the not-mirror said, smiling brightly, too brightly for this dark place we were in. White teeth glittered in a nonexistent light, sparkling in the darkness. His eyes that matched my own were kind, more kind than I remembered mine being, hidden smiles in their depths. He seemed insubstantial, faded even though he held me tightly. It was strange, though he seemed strangely familiar (apart from the obvious resemblance).

"Who- who are you?" I asked, pulling away from the doppelganger's embrace.

He smiled shyly, dark hair falling in his eyes. "I am your super-ego, Doctor Jekyll. All what makes you good and moralistic, is all that I am. It is all I know." The surprise I felt must have shown on my face, as he then laughed. It was nicer than Hyde's grating cackling, and I felt myself smile as well.

"But where have you been?" I asked. "Why are you here? Why did you not follow Hyde out into the real world when I first made the separation?"

"Because, unfortunately, Edward is much stronger than I ever will be," he said softly. "I barely had the control to keep your impulses down, those first months during the experiment. As he grew stronger, I grew weaker, 'till I hadn't energy enough to save you from his eventual overthrowing of the mind."

"Then why are you here now?"

He smiled, bright again after the melancholy of his last statement. "He is unfocused, distracted more by his destruction and control over your realm, and unable to muffle me as he once did. Now that he has control over a body as well as the power you gave him-" I winced "-he no longer cares for keeping me down. I have been quiet this past week, slowly growing in power, until I had enough energy to save you."

"Save me?" I asked, baffled.

"Yes!" My super-ego clapped, excited. "I have gathered just enough energy to spring you from this prison Edward has enforced, and enough to hold him down once you are out! But only for a limited time, which is why we must work fast once that happens.

"But I have a plan." He grinned malevolently, looking more like Hyde than I cared to admit.

We spoke for some time, plotting a way out, and then, a way to stop my evil half for good. I came to calling this new part of me Joseph, after a good friend of mine in university. The name suited him; happy, optimistic, and ready to fight for a good and just cause. Joseph lived up to his name, giving me ideas and helping me weave them into a larger plan to defeat Hyde and set his chaos back to as it was before.

We shook hands, ready some hours later (or was it? Time passed like molasses in here, yet seemed to slip by like oil). Joseph pulled me into a hug, which surprised me, but was pleasing all the same. I embraced him back, then stepped away.

"Ready?" I asked. This would put a strain on my dear super-ego's already fragile existence, and I wanted to be sure he knew this.

"I am sure. Let's go." He grinned and gave me two thumbs up, then disappeared.

I closed my eyes and concentrated. Through the inky blackness, I searched until I found a strand of existence, a single thread leading back to control. Hyde was careless, distracted, having too much fun wreaking havoc on the world to care for this one little thread. After all, to his knowledge, I was suffering in a pit of despair in my own mind. I was nothing to worry about.

I looped my hand around that string and yanked.

Consciousness bloomed through me, and I opened my eyes to the carnage Hyde had wrought. Bodies strewn across the street, buildings tumbled to the ground, dust and fire raging across the land greeted me. It was truly hellish, and I almost balked at it, returning to the comforting shell of darkness Joseph and I had created.

But Hyde had noticed. "Well, well, well," he crooned, and I felt my lips move without my accord as he spoke. "Looks like someone won out over his inner demons. How quaint."

Not yet, I thought, and pushed.

Hyde screeched audibly as he felt himself slip from control, the reins over our shared body passing accidentally to my hands. I felt him struggle to regain control, but my will strengthened, his weakened, and through Joseph's help, I managed to wrangle Hyde's consciousness into submission. He screamed one last time, before falling silent.

I flexed my fingers, enjoying having control over my own body again. It ached, making me wonder what Hyde had been up to in the week since this all started. Long scratches and burns ran up my arms, charred and torn clothes hanging off my emaciated body. My stomach rumbled, clueing me into the fact that once again, Hyde forgot to feed himself while in control of my body. That had to wait, though, for there were more pressing matters at hand.

I was outside a warehouse of some kind, a burned out shell of a building. There was not a living soul nearby, though plenty of dead ones lay about. I was almost sick to my stomach, my nonexistent dinner churning in the emptiness within. I turned away, covering my mouth and nose from the stench, and almost cried out at the sight of my dear friend Mr. Utterson, lying prone in the street, his cane through his middle. I dry heaved, running off, unable to stomach the sight any longer to pay my respects.

Across the street and down an alley, I dashed across London, weaving my way through the destruction to my old lab. It was untouched, seemingly fine, the only indication of the wreckage around a soot stain on the dingy door.

I wrenched it open and ran in, ignoring the sad sights around me, of my household staff dead and done for. Dear Mr. Poole sat at the table, no obvious sign of death about him, excepting the pale pallor to his brow that spoke of a heart attack. I sobbed, closing the laboratory door behind me.

Time was of the essence. Even now, I felt some semblance of Edward Hyde stirring within me. Joseph struggled to keep him subdued, but he was slowly coming to, and my super-ego could only hold down the id for so long.

I mixed furiously, recalling the chemical composition I had made recently, consulting old, torn notes and my infallible memory to recreate the drink that gave Hyde his power. Adding a few new components, I held it aloft, waiting the slow color change to occur and hoping I had it right.

Hyde was just starting to thrash about when I downed it in one gulp.

Pain flared through my body, familiar at this point, though this type had only happened once. I felt my soul torn in two, fragmenting off and spiralling out into pieces that should never be apart, but Henry Jekyll didn't listen when it came to that and tore them apart anyways. Hyde screamed, feeling it too, and Joseph went deathly silent.

When I came to, it was blinking open to see a steaming, panting Hyde staring me down. He looked shell-shocked, unsure as he flexed his fingers, but grinned all the same. He looked real.

"Are you sure this was your intended consequence?" he asked, laughing as I nodded.

"Because I believe you just made a horrible mistake."