The Reason I Don't Care

Chapter 4

By the time I got to Mycroft's house I had downed a whole bottle of silver gin.

I was just lying on the well-manicured lawn in front of the house when Mycroft came out. He was dressed in a navy blue rode that had his initials embroidered. He had a cup of tea in his hand.

"Sherlock, are you drunk?", he said sadly as he looked at the empty gin bottle. I didn't answer him. He walked over and laid next to me.

"I'm sorry William", he said quietly, "I didn't realize how much you were trying. I thought that you had just accepted that you are an alcoholic and that you just drank every night. I didn't realize that you had put precautions in place to help you avoid the temptation. For God's sake, you even banned alcohol from your flat because you told John that you don't like what it does to people-", I cut him off.

"How the hell do you know that Mycroft?", I yelled at him and stood up, but almost fell down.

"John", he said hesitatingly as he stood up.

"John! Oh so you told him I am a roaring drunk? Do you have any idea what you have done?! You made me loose the only person I care about! My only friend, John Hamish Watson!", I shouted then tried to punch him. But to my disappointment, my motor skills were failing me and caused me to fall to the side instead.

I've lost everything, I thought to myself, John. My only friend thinks I am a raging alcoholic by choice. Oh God, what was I going to say to him? How could I face him?

"Settle down William!", Mycroft said in a hushed shout, "John doesn't know!".

"What?", I asked trying to stand up, limbs, flailing through the air as I tried to stay balanced.

"John knows nothing about your problem with alcohol. Will you let me explain?", he said.

I nodded, as that was all that I could do at the moment to preserve my shirt from getting bile all over it.

"As soon as you left your flat last night I asked John how often you were taking drugs. He told me that you only went to them when a case got difficult. He also told me that he had never seen you take drugs. When you do take drugs you have always left around dark and return sometime the next day while he was at work. Then I proceeded to ask him if has figured out about your thing with alcohol. He said yes. I was surprised and asked him to tell me more and I have told you the rest already. Lucky for you he didn't know the truth", he said.

"Mycroft you are so fortunate that I am not sober, because if I was there is no telling what you what I would do", I growled at him, "Don't you dare ever talk to John about me and alcohol in the same conversation again".

Just then Anthea pulled up in Mycroft's car.

"I have arranged for Anthea to take you home, so that you can keep up your 'druggie charade'. I assume you have you have an adrenaline compound on hand?", he asked

"Of course I do! I can't have John seeing me drunk.", I said as I pulled a test tube out of my right pocket.

"Here take this", he said handing me a packet of packet, "It's seven already you should be home by eight which gives you roughly 6 hours 55minutes and 45 seconds to what the call normal which of course is not-".

"Enough time for all the alcohol to leave my system", I finished.

I was getting dizzy but I got into the car with the help of Anthea anyways. I looked out the window at Mycroft who was recycling the gin bottle. I was craving more gin. My body was wanting to stay in its sedated state. I opened the tube to mix the adrenaline packet in; I mixed it in and downed the continents.

I started to think to myself, Today is not the day you let yourself go. Oh but one more sip won't hurt you Sherlock. You'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen? John could see you like this. No! I will not take one more sip.

I yawned.

I won't take one more sip. Why am I feeling tired? Mycroft must have mixed a sedative in with the adrenaline. Great. Now I am going to pass out. At least it will give me some relief from my thoughts and cravings for a few moments. Anyways back to my previous thought: I won't take another sip.

I yawned. My eyelids began to droop.

I won't take another sip. I won't take another… I won't…

I passed out.