Elliot looks at his watch mentally running through his schedule. It's a little after 5pm but he doesn't have any plans. "Yeah I think that can work. Where are you interested in going?" A few minutes later they've ironed out a date at a small Mediterranean restaurant in Manhattan for 7:30pm.
Placing the phone back on the counter, his hand scrubs down his face in a mix of anxiety and disbelief that he's let Maureen talk him into this. He's only doing this because he's tired of hearing her incessantly pressuring him about needing companionship in his life.
Dad you are going to die alone, it's time to start dating.
You still look decent for your age, women would love to go out with you.
Do it now before it's too late.
Whatever that meant. Maureen had shown him a picture of Pippa Cox, the attractive redhead attorney and he agreed figuring it would end like most of his dates did. It would be a comfortable dinner with chit chat that he would try and steer away from work as much as possible and once they found out he was a divorced father of five or he found them a little too flimsy then there would never be a second date.
Being alone should've bothered him more than it did but it's something he had gotten accustomed to over the years. Truth be told he relished the time alone. He had gone from his parents house to being married and as the years went on and kids were born, between work and home he never really had to time to just be him.
Elliot was off balance when he and Kathy separated the first time and being alone represented failure at a marriage that he felt he single handedly ended between his temper and lack of presence. However, this time around they had mutually agreed that the marriage was becoming something of convenience as opposed to want. He moved out a year after he retired from SVU and their divorce was finalized a year later. He's been alone ever since and he's enjoyed it…for the most part. There have been therapy sessions to help him work on himself and understand what life is like when you live it for what you want and not out of some sense of responsibility. The kids are grown except Eli and living their own lives and he realized it was time for him to do the same.
Dating wasn't a huge part of that equation because instead he focused on his undercover work he did with the Feds every few months, spent time with his son, worked out, hung out with some work friends and just enjoyed life. It was mostly content but there were those random times during the days but mostly at night when all he could hear was the sounds of the city that his thoughts turned to her…turned to Olivia.
Cragen told him about everything that happened with Lewis while he was overseas on assignment and he called her once and left a voicemail but she never returned the call. When that didn't work he sent flowers but didn't sign the card, a coward move that he beat himself up about later. Unable to stay away any longer, he went by her apartment only to be told that she moved out and he found out a day later that she had moved in with her boyfriend…Brian Cassidy. The memory still sticks with him of seeing them walk down the block of where their new apartment was arm in arm. Cassidy clearly cracking a joke and her laughing hitting him on the shoulder.
She was safe and happy. He wasn't going to swoop in the jealous selfish prick he was so many times when they were partners and disrupt that. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was Olivia Benson.
Elliot pulls up to the restaurant at 7, a little earlier than they agreed to and decides to sit in the car and pull himself together. His phone rings and right away he knows it's his eldest daughter.
"Yes Maureen," he answers without bothering to look at the caller id.
"Are you there yet?"
"I just pulled up, about to get out of the car now," he opens the door to his jeep and locks it back. "I'm now walking across the street, uh oh there's a car coming, one second," he lets the car pass by and continues. "I am now walking up to the curb where the restaurant is."
There's an audible sigh on the other end of the phone. "Very funny Dad. I know how you tend to run late sometimes so I just wanted to check on you. You don't have to give me a play by play."
He walks in the door and takes a seat by the window so he can see Pippa when she arrives. "Are you sure about that?"
"Welllll almost. Tell me what you are wearing."
Now it's his turn to sigh. "It's not a fancy place so I'm just wearing a Grey shirt, black pants, no tie and a jacket."
"Not fancy hunh?"
"No, not fancy. I figure why spend all my money if this is going to be a one time thing." He has to laugh at himself for that one but his daughter couldn't be any less amused.
"Jeez. No wonder you are single."
"I'm just joking. It was last minute so this is the first place I thought of," he checks the time again. "Ill let you know how it goes."
After another pep talk she is gone and Elliot looks around the restaurant at the other patrons. There are a few he can tell are on a date but they look far too comfortable to be on a first date. He's a little envious that they don't have to suffer through the awkward dialogue and dodging of subjects that really aren't appropriate for a first date. His text message alert dings and it's Pippa telling him that she's there. He tells her where he is sitting and she spots him instantly. She looks the same in person as the picture which is a welcome surprise. There had been situations he was in where that was certainly not the case. He stands to greet her and places a quick kiss on her cheek.
"This place looks great," Pippa remarks taking off her light blue jacket and placing it on the back of the chair. "I love Mediterranean food."
"Yeah this place is great and really quiet."
They both look over the menu and there is a bit of uncomfortable silence while Pippa assesses him and is impressed with his muscular build and demeanor. She could sense he was just as nervous as she was. "So tell me what's good here."
"You can never go wrong with their Chicken Shawarma. Some of the best in the city."
She browses the menu a little longer and they settle on Chicken Shawarma salads and grape leaves as an appetizer.
"Thanks for being able to meet me so last minute. Work has been crazy so I try to fit things in when I can," she says when the waitress walks away.
His hands rest comfortably on the table and he smiles at her. "Not a problem. I'm glad we could make this happen. Plus my daughter can be pretty insistent."
That garners a laugh from her and they are both relieved that it's not as awkward as either of them thought it would be. "How many children do you have?" Pippa dives right in with the questioning and mentally scolds herself for being so forward.
Elliot takes a deep breath taking a sip of his water. "Five actually. There's Maureen which you know. Kathleen, twins Elizabeth and Richard and my youngest Eli."
Her eyebrows raise registering her surprise and it's the reaction he's used to getting. "Wow."
"Yeah. They are all pretty much grown with the exception of Eli. He's 8 years old."
She nods her head thinking over what he said. "You have an 8 year old. How is that going?"
"He keeps me young that's for sure. I have to work out just to keep up with him, he's pretty active, plays soccer and just does all the little things that boys his age do I guess."
His eyes light up when he talk about his children and she's immediately impressed. Five kids was a lot but most of them being grown was helpful. "Well I can definitely tell you work out," her eyes perusing the bulk of muscle that protrudes through his shirt.
Shit. She hadn't meant to say that out loud.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean that how it sounded," she chuckles trying to hide the blush that creeps on her cheek. Her thoughts are racing that maybe she isn't as good at the dating thing as she thought. "I mean I guess I did mean it that way."
Much to her delight, he nods his head and grins as well. "It's fine and I appreciate the compliment."
Pippa downs her water to settle herself and her nervousness gives him the confidence he needs to continue the conversation. "So how did you get roped into this?"
That does the trick. She laughs softly and tells him how her friends have been giving her shit about her love life lately because she works so much. They bond over the shared harassment from both sides of the fence and discuss the mutual friends they have as the appetizer is brought out.
He has a mouth full of grape leaves when she approaches the question. "Margaret said you used to be a cop, what do you do for work now?"
And there it is. While he chews, he tries to come up with a way to answer the question while being as vague as possible. Talking about SVU never goes over well and his undercover assignments are a bit rough to discuss even under the best of circumstances.
He wipes his mouth and approaches the question with caution. "I was a cop for over twenty years and now I'm working undercover assignments here and there for the Feds," he says quickly and turns the tables. "What about you? Margaret said you were an attorney."
It works. She doesn't pry further. "Yes I work with children and family services mostly. Except right now I'm filling in for someone out while they are out of town at the Spe-"
"Ok here are your salads," the waitress interrupts. She sets both bowls down and Pippa and Elliot ask for additional dressing and napkins.
"This looks great." She takes a bite and shakes her head at the taste. "This is really good. Thanks for recommending it."
"You are welcome," he begins to eat. "Working with kids how is that?"
"It has its challenges," she admits forgetting to pick up from where she left off earlier. "But when it all works out it's rewarding too. I worked on a case almost two years ago where I got to place a little boy that was orphaned with one of the cops I work with occasionally and it was such a rewarding experience."
Watching the enthusiasm on her face hits a soft spot for him. That's how he used to be about SVU. Despite all the turmoil and everything he used to see on a day to day basis he really had a passion for what he did, taking pedophiles off the street and hopefully saving at least one child from being harmed. They continue to talk during their meal and the conversation flows easily. Elliot asks her about her interests and is happy to see that she likes the outdoors, hiking and skiing mostly. Her family is from Vermont so she's always been into those types of hobbies. They discuss his new kickboxing hobby and she is impressed with how active he is and their differences on favorite sports team. He prefers the Jets while she likes the Giants, but overall it's a good date. One of the best he's been on and although she hasn't been out much lately, Elliot Stabler has definitely won over the ambitious ADA.
Once their meals are done she orders some wine and they continue to talk. "What's your favorite kind of movie?" she asks taking a sip of her Merlot.
"Oh that's easy. Action."
Pippa rolls her eyes in fake annoyance. "Of course. You men are all the same."
He snickers while taking a sip from his wine and her eyes instantly descend on his arm muscles flexing beneath his shirt and the hint of his tattoo. "What about you? What kind of movies do you like? Let me guess, Romantic comedies?"
"A chick flick?" she counters, "I do like those but I do enjoy a good scary movie now and then, but only if someone is there with me." The statement comes out more flirtatious than she intended and his eyebrows shoot up in response.
"Oh my god," she sputters into her wine. "I also didn't mean that the way it sounded."
"Riiiight," he teases and nods his head in approval. Normally her being so forward would be a turnoff but he hasn't had much luck with what he's been used to therefore having something different is a turn on. "Lucky for you I do like scary movies."
"Really? Most guys say that and then-"
"No I do. Me and my partner used to watch scary movies together all the time."
The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes he said them. Pippa looks on at him speculatively with one eyebrow raised. "I just can't imagine two guys sitting together watching a scary movie."
He laughs uncomfortably and wills himself to not think of the images of he and Olivia on her couch once a week when he was separated watching scary movies and ordering Thai food. "Well my old partner was a woman."
That catches her attention instantly. "Oh really. How long were the two of you partners?"
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. The last thing he wanted to talk about tonight was his former partner especially when he was trying everything to move on. "Almost thirteen years."
"Wow. That long? I thought most cops only stayed partners for just a few years."
"Yeah well we lasted longer than most," he shrugs off and asks the waitress for the check hoping the brief interlude will stop this line of questioning. It doesn't work.
"So why did you two stop being partners?" she asks right away sensing his uneasiness.
He shrugs again. "I retired so that was that."
"Do the two of you still keep in touch?"
He suspects and really hopes it's the wine more than her natural inquisitiveness that doesn't stop the long list of questions she's asking. "No we don't."
"Why?" she asks immediately and he lets out a frustrated sigh.
"Because I retired," he answers simply. The waitress comes back with the check and he fishes out his credit card while Pippa finishes the last of her drink. She watches him closely noticing the sudden tension in his posture. This is clearly a touchy subject for him but she doesn't let up.
The waitress walks away and she's right back to asking questions. "So you two stopped talking because you retired. That's a long time to be in each other's life to suddenly cut off communication."
The flash she sees in his eyes is instant. He's gone from defensive to sad and some other emotion she can't quite read.
"Jesus Elliot I'm sorry. I can be a bit inquisitive, I guess that comes with the territory being a lawyer and all."
Her apology eases the tension and he starts to feel a bit more at ease. He was enjoying his time with her and definitely doesn't want talk of Olivia to ruin the night. "It's fine."
"Well you can feel free to ask me anything. You know to make up for me giving you the third degree about your ex-partner," she offers. He smiles at her proposition and thinks for a minute while he signs the check that the waitress has just brought back to the table. It's time to take risks and move on.
"I do have one thing I want to ask you." She watches him closely waiting for the question. "How would you like to go out again?"
The drive home is quiet and contemplative. Elliot enjoyed himself and he was definitely attracted to Pippa. He was proud of himself for taking the first step to ask her out for a second date and she happily accepted. They settled on going to see a movie and dinner. Going to the movies wouldn't give them a lot of time to talk and get to know each other more but at least they could talk more at dinner.
He considered for a few minutes about if he should text her and make sure she got home safely or what the proper protocol was after the date but his mind started to drift to thoughts of Olivia. Steering clear of work talk he hoped would end any chance of her coming up but as with most things it didn't take much to remind him of her. Whether it was an old hole in the wall they would pick up takeout from for stakeouts or some place they had gone to question a suspect, almost everything would remind him of his brunette long legged partner.
He missed everything about her. Her scent, their perfect rhythm when they walked side by side, how they fed off each other in interrogations and sitting across from her everyday. He screws his eyes shut at the memories briefly while stopped at a red light and it's almost as if she is right there with him. It's hard to believe that someone who was with him everyday of his life for thirteen years, would almost be like a stranger if he saw her again.
Elliot was never one to communicate often, but when he did it was Olivia he confided in. She may not have ever realized it but she knew him better than anyone else. He wishes he would have said more, let her know how much she truly meant to him but it was too late for all of that now.
His phone rings and a car blows their horn at him simultaneously bringing him back to the present. Once again he knows who it is.
"Hello daughter of mine," he greets her turning the corner on to his street.
"Sooo everything went well I presume. I hear there's a second date." She's almost giddy and he checks his watch to see just how long it's been since he left the restaurant. "Maureen I've only been gone fifteen minutes. How did you get so much information already?"
"Don't worry dad," she sensed his slight annoyance. "Pippa is not some young gossip. She was told to call Margaret when she left to make sure you didn't have her in a trunk halfway to Jersey and she pressed her for details. She didn't give any, only that there is a second date."
He breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't a big deal because the date went well but it would bother him if she was on the phone gossiping like a schoolgirl about every detail of their date.
"Anyway, Margaret told Callie and Callie called me," she explained.
He pulls up to the curb across from his apartment and kills the engine. "That's slightly ridiculous but I guess I can only expect that from you and your friend."
"Very funny. Anyway I won't keep you but just glad to hear it went well."
"Thanks."
"Oh and dad?"
"Yeah," he answers a little more irritated than he means to but he's in no mood to answer more questions about his date.
"I love you."
His keys suddenly stop at the door of his apartment and he smiles tenderly. "I love you too sweetheart. Good night."
After a quick shower, he's changed into a t-shirt and shorts and flips aimlessly through the television. Despite the errant memories of Olivia flowing through his brain, he picks up the phone and texts Pippa.
Thanks again for tonight. Talk to you soon-Elliot
Giving up on finding anything decent on television since he doesn't watch much of it anyway, he walks to his bedroom and lays down deciding to call it a night. His mind wanders to all sorts of random things but it's not long before the image of Jenna in the squad room shooting uncontrollably fills his head and the horrified look on Olivia's face. His first instinct was to protect her. Then his mind wanders to the newspaper articles he read about Olivia's ordeal with William Lewis and how he wasn't there for her. In the still of most nights since, he's thought about her kidnapped and missing for those four days and it's enough to bring him to his knees. He should've been there. But regret soons shift to anger because he knows that if he would've still been her partner there is no way that William Lewis would've gotten near her.
His hand begins to massage his temples while he staves off the beginnings of a tension headache. It's all too much to think about but nothing compared to what she went through. He's reaching for some medicine in the nightstand when he gets the return text from Pippa.
You are more than welcome. I really did have a nice time. Can't wait for the second date.
His lips press tightly with a hint of a curve before he sets the phone back down and pops the pills in his mouth not needing water to wash them down.
Despite just leaving a date with someone else, he closes his eyes and falls asleep with only one person on his mind.
Olivia.