Dean could feel the hair that was tickling his face, but was still too asleep to do more than scrunch his nose in displeasure at the offending strands. He wasn't sure whose hair it was; Charlie's, Cas', Sammy's – could be any of them.
Summer had faded and school had started, so sleepovers were far and few in between, but when they did manage to get everyone together, this happened.
Big puppy piles as his mom liked to call it. All of them sleeping in some ill-crafted pillow fort with too many blankets wrapped around them. He wouldn't deny that it was at least accurate, if not totally mortifying.
Dean turned his head and snuffled into the neck of whoever was next to him. Sleep-warm skin and sweat filled his nose, but he was still too asleep to care who it was.
He missed this, missed their summer adventures and big get togethers. The summer sun had dimmed and the air had begun to get colder, but the freckles on his nose spoke of long, hot days and the bruises still lingering on his slightly tanned skin spoke of free time spent roughhousing with his best friends and too many sports he'd signed up for.
The last large get together they had was for Cas' birthday in September. That wasn't the last time they'd had sleepovers or after school hangouts, but it was the last time they'd all been together like this since summer.
Dean liked his little coven – as Charlie insisted on calling it since she'd started watching Charmed – he liked when they all spent the night and entertained him for hours on end. He missed them when they weren't around.
Summer had been amazing. It had been filled with their flag football team winning first this summer and Charlie's mom's homemade ice-pops; all nighters and movie marathons; bike rides to uncle Bobby's and poolside at Cas' house. It had been the best summer of his life.
It had also opened a wound that Dean didn't even know he'd had.
In July, he had caught his parents talking quietly in the kitchen. He hadn't even known his dad had stopped by and he honestly hadn't meant to eavesdrop, he had just went to turn into the kitchen when he saw them by the sink and quietly slinked back behind the wall, listening.
"I just wanted to tell you first... because, no matter what's happened between us, you've always been my best friend, Mary."
His dad looked serious and his mom was looking up at him in earnest. She slid her hand easily into his, like they'd done it a million times before. They had, he realized; they had done it a million times before, just not any more.
"So, she's pregnant."
Dean's heart skipped in his chest at the words. His dad only nodded.
"And you're going down to the courthouse tomorrow."
"I love her." His dad spoke, eyes lowered. "It's not just for the baby."
Mary's hand came up to cradle his face in a move that Dean hadn't seen since before Sam was born, a small smile on her lips. "I know, John."
John's hand covered Mary's with his own, leaning his face into her palm, eyes closed. "You know that I'll always love you, right?" He whispered.
Mary looked sad, but happy at the same time. Her eyes watered over, but there was that small smile still on her lips. "I know." She whispered back.
They stood liked that for a few moments until they both pulled away, Mary dabbing at her eyes and her smile brightened. "Do you want the boys to come tomorrow?"
"No." John wiped a hand over is face and sighed. "No, I want to sit down and tell them when Kate's a little further along, you know? But, next weekend when I take them for dinner I'll let them know that we're married."
"Don't you think Dean will be pissed off you didn't tell him first?" Mary asked, biting back a smile as she rose an eyebrow.
John snorted and Mary smiled. "Yeah, our stubborn piece of work son will most definitely be pissed off about it, but I'll try and explain it to him when he's older, if he wants."
Mary leaned in and rubbed John's shoulder. "He'll be fine, John. He'll just bitch about it for a while, but he'll be fine."
His dad had told them that weekend at dinner that he and Kate had gotten married.
Dean hadn't said anything about what he overheard, not to his dad, not to his mom. He had been pissed that he wasn't invited to the courthouse to watch them get JP-ed, that no one even told him about this to begin with, but he tried not to let it show. He didn't want to live up to his parents' rude expectations of him.
He'd told Cas about it, though.
He'd sat on Cas' bed, angry ranting about how his father was getting married to Kate and how they didn't want to tell him right away and how Kate was apparently pregnant and now there would be a new Winchester who would have all of John's attention.
He hadn't even realized that he'd been crying until Cas had wrapped him up in those skinny arms and let him cry against his shoulder. Dean didn't want someone to take John away from him and Sam. He didn't want his mom to be the old Mrs. Winchester – even if they had been divorced for quite some time.
Cas had just listened and nodded and squeezed Dean tight. Letting him cry and rant and pretend that he hadn't just snotted up Cas' favorite shirt.
That was something he'd learned about Castiel since they became best friends last October; he was a great listener.
A lot of kids thought he was just standoffish, especially the other kids in middle school that hadn't grown up with him. He hardly ever smiled, he did tend to glare a lot, and he didn't totally grasp pop-culture references that were casually thrown around the hallway, making people think he was an alien.
But, boy was Cas a good listener and a good friend.
He always gave Dean solid advice that he would most definitely use for himself if the roles had been reversed, he was laser focused and attentive, he always remembered a birthday or anniversary, and totally gave the best gifts.
He'd been a big help to Dean since he'd accidentally discovered John's secret this summer, always comforting him when it got him down, always there to listen when Dean needed to bitch. Cas was always just... there.
He heard a shudder and click, the noise pulling him from the light in-between sleep he'd been in. The little chuckles really sealed the deal on him waking up. He blinked his eyes open slowly and rolled slightly from the warm neck and shoulder he'd been cuddling into, looking blearily up at where Charlie and Sam were kneeling above him.
Sammy's eyes were still basically closed with sleep, but the smile on his face was big as Charlie looked at the developing polaroid with a laugh. Benny was snoring softly to Dean's right, an arm thrown over his eyes, and Ash was sleeping upside down beside Benny, his pillow resting on Benny's ankles.
"What?" Dean mumbled, moving a hand to rub at his eyes. It had to be an ungodly hour. Fuck, he was so tired.
Charlie's hair was a disaster, all mashed up on one side from the pillow and pieces slipping out of the janky braid she'd taught Cas how to do last night. Her eyes were sleepy too, but she was considerably more awake than everyone else. She placed the camera down and shoved the polaroid in Dean's face, a smirk on her lips as she eyed him.
Dean took the picture and squinted with still-tired eyes to examine it. It was Dean curled up with a passed out Castiel, his face tucked into Cas' neck, his body curled about Cas who was sprawled out on his back. The picture made his face heat up, though he couldn't really say why.
Cas was his best friend, like Charlie and Benny, but sometimes he'd get these hot flashes in his gut when he looked at the kid. Like, when he sometimes looked at Lisa when she smiled. But, Dean knew about his crush on Lisa, he wasn't sure about his maybe crush on Cas.
He rolled his eyes and ignored the annoying smiley faces coming from his brother and Charlie, he just kicked Sam with his blanket tangled feet and plopped back down in their fort-nest beside Cas, picture in hand. He ignored Charlie's giggles and tucked the polaroid into the pillowcase under his head, burrowing into his spot.
It couldn't be late enough for them to wake up yet, it just couldn't. Dean needed to sleep for just a couple more hours before he could function.
Dean fell back asleep for a while, knocked unconscious by the cosy blankets and the heat coming from Cas and Sammy's bodies, that mixed with the fact that they'd basically pulled an all-nighter after devouring their Halloween winnings just spelled crash. He woke later when he felt Cas shift from beside him and his mother's mumbled voice speaking to the others.
Benny grabbed his arm and hauled him awake, pulling him from their nest and into the kitchen. Charlie looked like she'd been up for hours helping his mom with breakfast, Sammy was curled up in his chair next to Jo, who had joined them last night because his mom said Sammy's friends should be invited too, both of them still sleepy and leaning on each other.
Cas was seated across the table from him, already pouring honey onto his pancakes, Ash watching him with interest and ignoring his little cousin who was pawing at him from where she was curled up with Sam.
They were all exhausted and Mary just shook her head at them and smiled as she brought a plate of eggs over and placed it on the table in front of them. Dean noticed his dad leaning against the counter, sipping at his coffee and smirking at them over the rim.
Technically this weekend they were suppose to go over to Kate's house – as Dean was stubbornly still calling the house that she owned and his dad moved into after they got married and didn't invite him – but because it was Halloween he let it slide and went out with Mary to take them trick or treating.
Dean wasn't necessarily surprised to see his dad here this morning, but it was nice to wake up and see him nestled in the kitchen like he belonged there.
He thought that maybe his mom would be sad that Kate and John got married, that she would cry and he'd have to start hating his dad for doing this. But, that didn't happen. Mary looked happy. She looked fine.
He watched his parents interact as Mary stood at the sink, washing out the pan she'd just used and John leaned against the counter beside her as they talked quietly and laughed about something Dean wasn't privy to. They both looked happy. Maybe this really was for the best. He'd have to talk to Cas about it later and see what he thought about this new revelation.
After their very late brunch – that totally bordered on very late lunch – Benny's mom stopped by to collect him. John then deemed it time to clean up and take everyone else home. Charlie was staying again tonight because her mom was on a late shift at the hospital, so she'd be coming to Kate's house with Dean and Sam, John didn't mind and treated Charlie like his other child more often than not.
Ash, Jo, Sam, Cas, Charlie and Dean marched into the den and began to clean up their fort-nest, the piles of candy wrappers and discarded costumes. It didn't take too long with the group of them and in no time everyone was piling into the Impala.
Cas got dropped off first, Naomi waving from the door as a thank you and John beeped his horn in response. Ash and Jo were next, Bobby's house not far from Cas' or Kate's. The two blondes just ran from the car, pushing each other the whole way to the door and John waited until they were inside before leaving.
Kate was at the hospital when they got to the house, her shift not over until dinner, so John let them choose the movies for the next couple hours, checking on dinner here and there.
Kate's house was fine. She'd bought it a few years ago and fixed it up herself, and then when her and John started dating he helped her too. They had their own rooms now that Kate and John officially lived together, gone was the shit apartment that Dean and Sam had to share a futon in.
And, Kate herself was nice. Dean even liked her before this whole marriage/pregnancy debacle.
Well, that wasn't exactly true. He did still like her, he was just mad at them for lying to him.
Kate was kind and quiet, she never over-stepped and always did her best to be there but never smother. He'd known her for years now, she'd been his dad's girlfriend for a long time, it wasn't like she was just some stranger John was trying to make their new Mommy. No, Kate was respectful and Dean respected her because of it.
She came home not long after the third movie, Charlie and Sam slowly falling asleep on the loveseat, his dad in the kitchen finishing dinner. Kate slid into the living room, coat on, purse still in hand. She looked tired, and Dean always kept waiting for her stomach to swell and the secret to come out, but she just smiled at him and headed into the kitchen were John and dinner waited.
She changed out of her scrubs and they ate the pot roast John had made in the crock-pot. Kate joined them as they played a couple rounds of charades in the living room before watching the new episodes of X-Men: Evolution before bed.
Charlie slept in the spare bedroom that Dean was sure would become the nursery when they decided to clue everyone else in on the pregnancy.
Kate made them french toast in the morning before work, they watched Sunday cartoons and then John drove them home around lunchtime. Charlie went back to her house and they went home. Mary had sandwiches ready and his dad stayed for one as they all laughed at the kitchen table about something Sam had said.
His dad left after and he and Sam played up in his room for a while, still tired from their sugar-crash on Halloween. Sam was in second grade and liked to read now, but he'd still build lego castles with Dean and set their action figures up in scenes around the palace.
Mary made them promise to clean up all the toys and the boxes they went in before going to bed and Dean rolled his eyes, annoyed at his mom's constant nagging. They yeah-yeah-ed Mary, still building extravagant palaces when she called them down for dinner.
Dean went to his room and did homework after dinner. Most of the teachers didn't assign much on the Halloween weekend, but they were in sixth grade now, so some teacher's gave a few sheets despite the holiday. Sammy came in for help at some point and they sat on his bed going over Math and History for a while.
Dean took a quick shower before bed and Sam took a bath, they bid their mom goodnight where she was downstairs sewing up a costume for Charlie's LARP thing. She kissed them both and sent them to bed.
He wasn't sure what time it was, or what had actually woken him up, but he blinked blearily in the dark. His vision was sort of hazy with sleep, but then he realized that it wasn't his vision that was hazy, it was the air in his room.
Smoke was coming from beneath his closed door, and now that his senses had been startled he could smell it. He coughed and waved his hand in front of his face, moving the smoke as he jumped out of bed and ran into the hallway. The smoke was heavy and thick, rolling out from under Sam's door.
Dean quickly ran to get his mother, screaming for her to hurry. Mary rushed out of her room, pushing Dean back as she opened the door to Sam's bedroom. A big billow of smoke came from the room, causing Dean's eyes to sting and shut, his chest filled with smoke. He rubbed at his eyes, leaning against the wall next to his room when he heard his mom's yelp and thud.
He immediately ran into the burning room, his eyes wide as he looked up at the flames covering the far wall and the ceiling. His mom was on the ground, blood running down from a cut on her temple, their lego castles destroyed, the boxes they came in scattered. He ran to her quickly as she pressed the side of her head with her eyes shut, she had tripped over the toys they had promised to pick up and hit her head against the dresser at the foot of Sammy's bed.
"Dean." Mary rasped, coughing from the heavy plumes of smoke that were coming from the fire on the walls. Uncomfortable heat was pricking at his skin and sweat already drenched his shirt. "Take Sam and get outside, call your father, call 911."
"Mom, come on, get up." Dean tried to get under her arm to help her up as they both heard the ceiling being to groan with a frightening sound. "Mom, get up!"
"Dean." Mary pushed him off and towards the bed where Sam was passed out cold, most likely from smoke inhalation. "Get Sam out of here now!"
Dean looked down at his mother, her pleading blue eyes, the blonde hair matted to her temple with blood, the way the heat of the licking flames made her pale skin bright and rosy.
He moved from her side and scooped Sam up in his arms, maneuvering his little brother so that his arms were dangling off his shoulders and his legs were around Dean's waist. He hefted up the unconscious Sam, moving only at his mother's frantic, "Go, Dean.", and practically ran down the stairs. He grabbed the house phone on the way out and ran into the yard, laying Sammy down on the grass so he could dial.
He called 911 first, because he remembered everything they talked about in school and those two years of Eagle Scouts were drilled into his head.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"My house is on fire."
Dean was breathing heavy, his chest burning from the smoke and the urge to cough was great, but he moved from the front lawn to see if the fire was contained to just Sammy's room. It wasn't. Flames were shooting from the windows, the sounds of shattering glass was loud, the flames climbing up the outside of the house and onto the roof.
"Okay," The operator's voice was steady and understanding. "What's your name?"
"Dean."
"Alright, is anyone still in the house, Dean?"
He nodded even though she couldn't see it, staring at the fire. "My mom."
"What's your address, Dean?" He rattled off the street address they made him learn in Kindergarten incase he got lost. Never had he thought he'd have to use it for this. "That's good, Dean. The fire department is on their way, is anyone injured?"
He thought back to Mary's pleading eyes and the blood running down her face. "My mom fell and hit her head, she's bleeding. And my brother won't wake up. The fire's in his room."
"Okay, Dean, first responders will be there shortly."
"I have to call my dad." Dean said in a daze, hanging up the phone before the operator could comment and quickly dialing his father's number.
John's gruff voice answered, "Hello? Mary?"
"Dad."
He wasn't sure why he was crying now, but as soon as he heard John's voice tears just sprang into his eyes.
"Dean? What's wrong." John's overly concerned voice took over. "Dean, what is it?"
"Dad, you have to come here right now. The house is on fire and mom is still inside."
"What."
Dean was crying now, gasping in sobs of air and coughing because his chest hurt from it. "I woke up and there was smoke and mom went in to get Sammy and fell and then made me take Sammy outside and she's still in there. Sammy won't wake up. I called 911, they're coming, but dad you have to come now."
"Dean. Dean, listen to me." John's voice was painfully even, like he was doing everything in his power to keep it so. He could hear his dad pulling on clothes as he spoke. "I'm on my way, I'll be there in five minutes. Sit with Sam as far away from the house as you can. You did good, Dean. I'm on my way, alright?"
"Okay."
Dean listened as his dad got in the car and drove to them, neither of them hanging up. Dean could hear sirens in the distance, coming for them, but Mary had been up there for too long, why wasn't she coming out?
Dean sat by their mail box, Sam in his arms, phone pressed to his ear. John got there before the firetrucks. He left the Impala running, door wide open as he ran over to them, checking Dean and Sam over for injury, listening to Sam's wheezy breathing. He looked panicked as he looked them over and even more panicked as he looked back at the house.
"You're okay?" John asked breathless as he ran a shaky hand through Dean's hair. "We're alright?"
As soon as Dean nodded, wiping away the tears, John nodded back and quickly ran into the house.
Dean felt a scream ripped out of him, as he watched John run in.
The firetrucks pulled up not long after that, an ambulance hot on it's heels. The firemen immediately began to tackle the flames with giant hoses and two kind EMTs began checking over Dean and Sam. They put Sammy in the back of the ambulance and began to give him air, Dean too. But, Dean couldn't stop looking at the front door and waiting to see John.
A few firemen raced into the house and not long after they returned with John and Mary. His dad had his mom cradled in his arms, heavy black soot covered them both. The firemen quickly brought his parents to the other ambulance where the EMTs all but pried Mary from his arms and strapped her in as they prepared to race to the hospital. John stumbled back as they closed the doors, the sirens loud and screeching as the ambulance took off.
He felt one of the nice EMTs put a blanket around his shoulders, it was only then that he realized he was shaking. One of them called over his dad, who was still standing in shock and staring at the place where the ambulance had just been. He looked up at the sound of his name and quickly trotted over to where they sat and pulled Dean into his arms.
Dean was hysterical, unable to control any functions he'd normally have a tight leash on. He gripped his dad's shoulders and sobbed loudly as John ran soothing hands down his back and whispered things into his ear. But, he could hear the break in his dad's voice, feel the tears as they fell onto his neck. His dad wasn't okay, either. None of this was okay.
The EMT attending to Sam called out for them and said they were taking Sam to the hospital for smoke inhalation and that Dean should be checked over more throughly as well. John released Dean into their waiting hands and told him he'd be following right behind in the Impala.
Dean felt dazed.
He held Sammy's hand, even though his little brother was still unconscious. It grounded him, gave him a sort of strength.
He couldn't remember the ride to the hospital or even how they got into the emergency room, but he was sitting on a table bed across from Sam, their curtains open, and a doctor was speaking to him. Dean looked up, brows furrowed. "What?"
"Dean." The woman spoke with a gentle sternness, shining a light in his eyes. "Are you experiencing any difficulty breathing? Did the flames touch you anywhere?"
"Where's my mom?"
The doctor checked him over, basically ignoring his question and writing something on the clipboard in front of her. "Your father is speaking with her doctor now."
"Is Sammy alright?"
"Your brother is okay, we have him on an oxygen mask to help with breathing and we've hooked him up to an I.V. He should wake soon." She looked up, looking over his soot-covered clothes for any sign of a burn. "I'm more concerned about you right now."
Dean brought a hand up to wipe away the tears he couldn't contain. He just couldn't stop crying. "I'm fine."
"Does your chest hurt, Dean? Your father recounted the story you told him, he said you were in the room with the fire."
His chest did burn, but not as bad as Sammy's – who still hadn't woken up. "I'm fine." He repeated.
The doctor just looked at him for a moment before she wrote something down on her clipboard and pulled an oxygen mask from the side of the bed. "I'm going to put this on you and I want you to lay down. I'll be back to check on you in a little while, okay?"
Dean nodded and accepted the mask from her, laying down a bit on his side so he could stare at Sammy. He could just barely make out his dad in the corner of the room, speaking with a doctor in scrubs.
He didn't remember closing his eyes, but apparently he had, because the next thing he knew, both his dad and Kate were sitting at the end of his bed.
Kate was looking at his and Sam's charts and John was staring down at his soot-covered hands. Kate noticed first that he was awake and came to his side. He appreciated her soothing presence and he felt himself begin to cry as soon as she sat beside him. She carefully gathered him up in her arms and let him cry into her blonde hair and scrubs, running a hand down his back gently.
He fell asleep again in her arms and woke up to Sam looking at him from where he laid on his bed, mask still in place, fear and confusion in his eyes. Dean immediately took off his oxygen mask and slid from his bed and into Sam's. They were still in the ER, which was noisy, but the curtains were drawn so no one could see them. Dean didn't know where John and Kate went or how his mom was doing, but he hugged Sammy to him.
"What's going on?" Sam asked, his voice just slightly muffled by the mask that Dean made sure stayed put.
He wasn't sure how much he should tell him. If the positions were reversed, Dean would want to know, he'd demand it. Still, Sammy was seven. How much about this should he tell a seven year old?
"There was a fire." He finally let out and Sam's eyes widened. "It's okay." He soothed. "We all made it out. The fire was in your room, I got you out, but you were already unconscious from the smoke."
"Where's mom?" Sam's eyes watered and his bottom lip trembled inside the mask. "Where's dad?"
Dean ran a gentle hand down Sam's back, attempting to comfort him out of getting hysterical. "Dad and Kate were here a little while ago before I fell asleep. They're probably talking with mom's doctor."
He wanted to say, "Mom is fine, don't worry." but Dean couldn't say for sure if that was true. He didn't know what was going on, if their mom was fine. He didn't really know anything.
"What's wrong with mom?" Sam was crying by this point, big fat tears rolling down his baby face.
Dean hugged him tighter, unable to answer him because Dean didn't know himself. "I don't know."
They laid like that for a while, until he could hear the soft rumble of his father's voice somewhere outside the curtains that covered them. He couldn't make out what John was saying, though. Dean slid from Sam's embrace and hushed him when he whined.
"I'll be right back, Sammy. I'm just going to get dad."
Dean got up gently and tucked the covers back around Sam before pushing past the curtain and walking towards the sound of his father's voice. John had washed his hands and changed, no longer covered in black from the fire. He was standing with Kate and another doctor, they all looked serious and grim. It made Dean's heart jump in his chest.
"Dad? Kate?"
The threesome turned to look at him and he was suddenly hyper-aware of the dirty pajamas on his body and the tear tracks lining his cheeks. John reached out for him and Dean slid under his dad's arm and leaned against his side, comforted by the action.
"Hey, kiddo." John's voice was thick, like he'd been crying. "We were just talking to mom's doctor, here. We were just about to come check in on you and Sammy."
"Sammy's awake." Dean said instantly, eyeing John intensely. "How is mom?" He pressed.
The adults looked between each other, but John's eyes never waved from Dean's. Still, Dean knew it couldn't be good. He was eleven, not seven like Sam. He could read their body language. He knew that being in the burning room for so long would mean only bad things for his mom.
"Dean," John hugged him closer to his body, the hand in his hair gripped a bit. "Let's go sit for a minute while Kate and Doctor Bossier check on Sam."
John led him over to a row of chairs in the hallway just off of where their curtain rooms were. He could feel the pounding in his chest at his father's very clear lead up to bad news. His palms began to sweat and tears already pricked at his eyes as he sat. He'd never cried this much in his whole life, he was sure Cas would have an answer as to why. Probably anxiety or something, adrenaline maybe.
"She's not okay, is she."
John wiped a hand over his eyes, dropping his other hand on Dean's neck and squeezing gently.
"She's up in a room, she's okay for now, she's stable. But," John sighed and looked Dean in the eye. "She took in a lot of smoke, Dean. More than Sammy. She's not going to wake up right now."
Dean's brows furrowed as tears slipped down from his eyes. "So, she's in a coma?"
"Yes." John replied gently, his eyes also shiny and wet.
"I want to see her."
John ran his fingers through the back of Dean's hair and nodded. His hair was still so blonde from summer and a little longer that his mom usually allowed, but he'd asked for it long to go as Han Solo for Halloween. It felt nice to have his dad stroke his hair like that, like how his mom use to when he was little. The thought just made him cry harder. John scooped him up into his arms and held him tightly against his chest.
Small hands appeared at his side, tugging on his blackened pajamas to get his attention. Sammy was standing beside them, mask still firmly in place and the oxygen tank attached to the back of the wheelchair Kate had put him in. The other doctor was nowhere to be seen and Kate looked teary eyed as well.
They all went upstairs to the patient rooms, Sammy would be moved up into one for the night or so, to make sure his lungs hadn't been hardcore damaged from the smoke. Doctor Bossier said they needed to run some more tests and Dean would make sure they did anything for Sam to be alright. Kate lead them down the hallway to the room.
The door was closed and Dean was nervous. Nervous to what he'd find on the other side of the door; would she be black and charred from the fire? Would she just look like she was sleeping?
They all went in, Mary was the only patient in a room meant for two, but Dean appreciated it. She did look like she was sleeping. Like she'd just shut her eyes and would wake up soon.
Her blonde hair was lying about her shoulders, the gash on her temple had been cleaned and sewed up but the bruise looked nasty and dark against her fair skin. She had an oxygen mask on her face and they'd changed her into a hospital gown, but Dean still noticed the mottled red marks that ran up parts of her arms and he realized she must've had a brush with the flames.
Dean sat in the chair beside her bed, almost afraid to move or breath, like it might change something in the air and she'd get worse. So, he sat gingerly beside her and stared.
John was crying.
It was silent, but he was crying. So, was Kate. She had to excuse herself before she began to sob.
Sammy had wheeled up next to him and they both sat staring at their mother lying there in the bed, unmoving. Dean grasped Sam's hand tightly in his own, the contact needed for both of them. They sat in the room for the next two days, sleeping in the unused patient bed next to Mary's.
John had called Bobby that first night to let him in on what happened and asked him to go over and check out the damage to the house, see what could be salvaged. They managed to save the majority of the house apparently, a lot of their stuff was still intact and most of the damaged sustained was to Sammy's room, parts of the upstairs, and the roof.
Mary, however, they couldn't save.
The induced coma had helped, the doctors said. But, the smoke inhalation had decimated her lungs and her body wasn't responding properly to the treatment. It wasn't long after that, that she passed.
The ride home from the hospital had been hard.
Mary had passed very early in the morning and it had been a lot of sobbing and blank stares. After, John walked Dean and Sam down to the cafeteria to eat breakfast and they all sat silently, stray tears still falling, as they ate their eggs and pancakes.
It was early still and John decided to bring them to the house to get their things. Kate had looked at him when he told her the plan for the day, but his dad said nothing.
Bobby was already there when they pulled up, his big truck full of things he'd pulled from the house. John and Bobby spoke about storage units and attic space and donations, Dean just stared at the house, one side of it burnt and black, the rest looking fine and normal. But, they'd never be normal again.
They packed up what they could from the house – which was surprisingly a lot – and moved it into Kate's house.
John hadn't asked them what they wanted to do, if they wanted to stay in the house that killed their mother. But, that was fine. Dean didn't ever want to be in there again anyway. And, Kate's house would feel like home eventually.
Right now it felt comfortable, because he had his own room there filled with his own things. It wasn't like the stark hospital room they'd occupied the past three days or an impersonal hotel room.
He just unpacked some of the things out of the many boxes they took from the old house and crawled into bed.
Dean wouldn't speak to anyone for a while, didn't answer the cellphone he'd gotten over the summer, didn't answer the knocks at his bedroom door, nothing. He just laid there and stared at nothing and cried. He wasn't even sure if he was actually sleeping, he was so tired either way that he didn't think it mattered.
His mother was dead.
Sam would crawl into bed with him and they would cry and whisper about mom, and he'd hug Sammy to him tight and mumble fiercely about how none of this was his fault and thank god he was undamaged from the close call. That was pretty much the extent of his social interaction.
John would come up sometimes and sit at the edge of his bed, running fingers through his hair just as he'd always done, not saying a word. He loved when his dad did that, didn't say anything and was just there.
Kate would quietly bring up some food for him and sit, whisper loving things to him while rubbing his hands the way she'd shown him after he'd told her his hands hurt from baseball. It felt good and relaxed him. Those moments made him cry.
About a week had passed since the fire, days since Mary's death, and he could hear Kate making funeral arrangements and speaking with Mary's lawyer, and Dean couldn't take it. He had gotten up, went to the bathroom and sat in the shower for three hours.
John had knocked at some point and asked if Dean was alright, but no one had forced him out from beneath the scalding spray. He sat with his knees to his chest, crying.
He'd crawled back into bed after that, waiting for something and nothing all at the same time. He felt restless and tired. He felt like he was coming out of his skin. He felt like crying.
It was the middle of the night, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from grabbing the phone he'd been ignoring for days and moving past all the messages and missed calls to hit Cas' number. The ringing in his ear sounded too loud, and he was afraid Cas might not answer at this time of night. But, he did and as soon as Dean heard the rough voice of his best friend, he began to cry.
"Dean?"
Cas sounded frantic almost, his voice still heavy with sleep, but he was clearly on high alert.
"Cas." Dean choked out, silently crying on his end and hoping Cas couldn't hear it.
"Dean, are you alright? I've been worried, but I didn't want to over step. Charlie hasn't stopped talking about how you haven't answered your phone, I just figured you needed some space. But, what's going on? Are you okay?"
"Cas." Dean said his name so brokenly, around hiccups and tears. "My mom is dead."
"Dean." Cas whispered, like if he could reach through the phone and stroke every freckle on his nose, he would. "I'm sorry."
"I just..." Dean trailed off, gathering his thoughts and trying to breath around his sobs. "Everything's just wrong. We packed up the house and we're at Kate's now, and it's fine. It just... I miss her and she's dead and it doesn't even feel like she's dead, and I feel like I can't breathe."
He sobbed a bit into the cellphone pressed tightly against the side of his face, his chest burning with the effort to keep quiet and his face hot and red from the tears.
"Listen, I know it won't feel like it now, and I know you're going to want to punch me in the face for even suggesting it, but, Dean, everything is going to be okay."
Cas was right, Dean did feel like he wanted to punch Cas in the face for even suggesting such a thing, the anger welling up inside of him quickly but Cas cut him off.
"Not right now. But, eventually. Eventually things are going to even out and it's going to be all right. You're not going to feel like this forever, Dean. But, for right now, things are going to be terrible and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this."
Dean just cried and Cas just listened as he wiped his eyes and coughed a bit. "I just wish you were here right now." He whispered, curling in on himself and closing his eyes to stave off the tears.
"I know, Dean. Me too."
And so, about week had passed since the fire and it had been just days since Mary's death, and Cas had finally broken the social propriety that kept him away because Dean called him last night sobbing and told him everything that he probably already knew. There was a knock at the door the next day and his dad said Cas was at the door with a bag of Dean's schoolwork and and a pie Gabriel had baked.
Dean had told John to let him in.
"Hey." Cas said from the doorway, with his dorky backpack clipped in the front and a pie in his hands. His blue eyes were big and sad as he took Dean in, but there was no pity there, just that wounded hurt and comfort look that Cas usually gave to poor animals. "Can I come in?"
Dean nodded scooting over on his bed as Cas shut his door and shucked his backpack, placing the pie on the desk. He sat on the bed next to Dean, looking at him with those annoyingly blue eyes. "Thanks." Dean mumbled, but he wasn't sure what he was thanking Cas for exactly.
"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas all but whispered. Taking in the heavy circles under his eyes and the redness in them, the pallid color of his skin and the way his freckles stood out because of it.
"I don't know."
He started to cry after that and told Cas everything – from the shortage in the nightlight that caused the fire, to saving Sammy but not his mom, to waking up in the hospital, to John and Kate, to watching her die and packing up the house. He told Cas that he'd barely eaten in days and slept even less, that he was just so tired but sleep didn't seem to fix that.
Cas ended up curled tight around a broken Dean, soothing his best friend as the worst thing imaginable happened to him. He rubbed his back and ran fingers through his hair and whispered russian prayers in his ear – Dean seemed to like that especially.
Cas stayed by his side the entire weekend, they managed to work their way through most of the make-up work just to take Dean's mind off everything, and watched a lot of movies ranging from the terrible to comfort.
They watched Star Wars a lot, mostly so Dean could mumble Han's lines in between mouthfuls of popcorn. That was basically all that he'd eaten in days, besides Gabe's pie. Cas had tried to get him to eat some of the food Kate brought up, but he'd just pick around it until John brought up more popcorn.
Dean would cry a lot, too. Suddenly, and without much explanation. Though, not much explanation was actually needed.
Cas ended up spooned around him more often than not, reciting grocery lists and Leia's lines and whatever else he could think of in the second language he'd grown up speaking, murmuring it right into Dean's ear and feeling him relax into sleep. Cas wasn't entirely sure what about it soothed Dean, but ever since he'd found out Cas was bi-lingual, he'd begged Cas to speak to him in accented tongues.
Russian made him calm, Enochian made him cry.
Cas only realized too late that Mary's family had been big into ancient angel lore, like the kind his father studied at the college he worked at. Cas had grown up with his father teaching them Enochian phrases, but so had Dean.
Cas stuck to Russian after that.
It was really hard for Dean to let Cas leave on Sunday night.
They had watched the whole Star Wars trilogy, the Princess Bride, and all three Indiana Jones movies multiple times, cuddled and whispered, finished his homework, and sorted through some of the boxes that were stacked in the corner of his room. The few days that Cas had been by his side, Dean had felt a bit more okay. His world was still rocked, his emotions were fragile and all over the place, but he felt just a little more okay than he'd been.
It was so hard to let that go, so hard that he embarrassingly clung to Cas' hand and started to cry in front of his remaining family when Cas tried to leave.
They'd walked down the stairs like it was the last time they were going to see each other. It was the first time that Dean had left his room since they came back from the hospital with the exception to shower and he felt awkward being around everyone else like this.
His dad was waiting by the door, ready to drive Cas home, Kate was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with Sam, a bag of cookies in hand for him to bring home to Gabriel as a thank you for the pie.
He wasn't sure when he and Cas had started holding hands, if they had left his room like that or if Cas had slipped it into his when they reached his dad at the front door and he started shaking at the prospect of Cas leaving him. He started sobbing again, holding Cas' hand like a vice, shaking and muttering for him not to leave. It was embarrassing and stupid and normal-Dean would never act like this. But, normal-Dean's mom didn't just die and normal-Dean didn't feel like everything was wrong.
Cas simply wrapped his skinny arms around Dean's frame and hugged him tight enough that Dean could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears. John said nothing about his son's very obvious anxiety attack and offered to call Castiel's parents to tell them he'd drive Cas to school tomorrow. Dean nearly broke down again when Cas just muttered a quiet, "Yes, please."
Cas lead Dean back up to his room while John called his mother, Dean was still crying and shaking from the mild anxiety attack he'd just suffered but Cas said nothing as he crawled back into Dean's bed and put on the Princess Bride. Dean pressed his face into Cas' neck, trying to slow down his crying and the rapid heart beat in his ears, his arms wrapped tight around his best friend's middle.
They stayed like that for the rest of the night.
The funeral was hard, on Sammy especially, and Cas stayed beside them the entire time.
Mary was cremated – which Dean thought was just a little ironic considering she died because of a fire, but he kept those thoughts to himself – so there wasn't an actual funeral per se. It was more of a service, her urn and ashes on display with a portrait of her beautiful smiling face beside it, while everyone listened to all the different spiritual leaders in their town talk about life after death.
His mother wasn't a one-religion type of woman, she believed in everything, so Kate had thought it fitting to have someone from all faiths come and speak on Mary's behalf. Dean thought it was kind.
There were a lot of people at the service, more than he had expected. But, his mother was kind and out going, of course there would be people there to honor her and miss her along side of them.
A lot of his friends came too. Bobby, Ellen, Ash and Jo, of course. Charlie and her mom. All the Novaks. Benny's family. Practically their whole fifth grade class was in the back row with their families, and even some old teachers. His old sports coaches and the Librarian that always reserved books for Sam, and all the guys from Bobby's garage, and the regular patrons at the Roadhouse.
They were all there, for them.
Dean was more put together at the service than he'd been since the fire. Maybe because more people were around and he wasn't alone, maybe at this point he'd cried all he could and now he was just numb.
His large group of friends pulled him and Sam out of the room after the last speech was made and people were meandering around and talking about how wonderful of a woman Mary Campbell Winchester was. Benny had hauled Dean up off the bench, his hand instantly finding Cas' waiting one, and let Benny lead him outside where everyone else stood. It was bright out, a perfectly even temperature for a november day. It was mocking, almost.
But, there they all stood. Charlie, Ash, Lisa, Balthazar, Cassie, Garth, Meg, Hannah, Kevin, Jo, Bela, Victor, Crowley; some were new friends just acquired from their time in middle school – like Tessa, Donna, Gilda and Dorothy – and some they'd known since kindergarten. But, there they all stood, waiting, timid smiles on their lips and sad eyes.
Jo immediately broke from the line and ran to wrap Sam up in her skinny arms and that sort of triggered everyone else to move. Cas' hand was still in his, Benny and Charlie were still at his other side, but suddenly the rest of the group was around him, huddling, hugging. And, Dean was crying. Silently this time, not like the broken sobs Cas had been listening to for days, but just as heartbreaking.
After the funeral service was over and his amazing group of friends were gone, they went back home and Dean felt like he couldn't stand to be at the house anymore. He begged his dad to let him spent the weekend at Castiel's.
It wasn't hard for John to say yes, but he saw the toll this was taking on his son and if his best friend was what kept him together, than fine. The weekend turned into all of Thanksgiving break, except for the actual Thanksgiving which he spent with John and Kate.
When John dropped them off at the Novak's, Naomi stood in the doorway as she always did to wave at John, except this time she came down the walk and leaned into the window to hug John. It was unlike her, but Dean couldn't help but not feel shocked by the gesture. She had reassured John that whatever they needed, the whole Novak family would be there.
They walked inside and Naomi pulled him aside for a moment, leveling with him. He was tall for his age, always had been, but she stooped down to his height to make sure her words were taken as seriously as they were meant.
"Dean." Naomi said in her sort of serious, almost clipped manner. He could tell that this was important to her, even though it was hard considering how put together she normally was. "I just want you to know, that I understand how hard this is and that, while I can never match or replace your mother, I hope you know that you'll always have a place here in my home and with me. Okay?"
There was a shiny quality to her blue eyes that spoke of unshed tears and buried memories. Dean nodded, wiping at his own eyes at her words. "Thanks, Mrs. Novak."
She rubbed a smoothing thumb across the freckles under his eyes and stood, leaving him to find Cas once again. Once they were up in his room, cuddled beneath his comforter and watching Buffy reruns did Dean ask about Naomi and her possible loss.
"Yes, Dean." Cas had said, eyes trained on the major stare-fest happening between Buffy and Angel. "Her parents died in a car accident when she was fifteen."
So, Naomi really did understand. He appreciated her gesture and her words, mostly he appreciated her son.
Dean and Sam went back to school in December, after Mary's birthday.
John had made the executive decision to keep them home after Thanksgiving break had ended and wait until after their mother's birthday had passed. They went to the cemetery where her ashes rest and laid flowers, they went to Mary's favorite diner and ordered her favorite foods and pies and sipped on rootbeer floats – even though all three of them hated rootbeer. Afterwards, they went home and sat in the living room and watched the Wizard of Oz and followed it up with Reservoir Dogs, because those were her favorite movies. It pretty much summed up Mary Campbell-Winchester in a nutshell.
All of their friends were supportive and helpful once they got back to school; Charlie, Ash, and Kevin helped him get caught up on everything, Benny was good at making everything feel normal which he appreciated, and Meg and Jo were the easiest to talk to about the situation seeing as they'd both lost parents.
He still clung to Cas, though. He sat next to Cas, talked to Cas, leaned on Cas. And Cas was always there.
Until one day, he wasn't.
He hadn't shown up to school and wasn't answering his texts. Dean let it slide for the day, he was probably sick. But, then it was time for bed and Cas still hadn't answered his phone, not even when he called, which was very strange. Ever since Dean had called that first night the after Mary's death, Cas always answered when he called.
He wasn't in school the next day either, and then Dean all but had a meltdown. He cut school early and rode his bike over to Cas' house, there was a million Novaks, there was bound to be one at home. Cas' dad opened the door, he was a nice guy, a little absent minded, but nice.
"Dean." He smiled, wiping his glasses on the front of his shirt. "What can I do you for?"
The fact that Mr. Novak didn't even really address the fact that Dean was out of school mid-day or the fact that his bike lay only a few feet away didn't phase him – hello, absent-minded – and he plowed on in his near-panic attack.
"Is Cas here?"
"No, Castiel is down at the hospital." Dean almost stopped breathing. "He woke up the night before last with terrible stomach pain. He's just had an emergency appendectomy, I believe. Naomi and the children are down there with him as we speak."
Dean barely said goodbye before he picked up his bike and rushed to Bobby's. It was the closest house that had a family member to where he was now and he knew that Bobby would bring him downtown. He banged on the door twice before barreling in, calling out for Bobby. He found him in the living room looking through old books in odd languages. He looked shocked to see Dean, which made sense, but Dean just started talking before Bobby could question him.
"Cas is in the hospital and I need you to take me there now."
His voice was quivering and shaking and his eyes were bugged out and pleading. Bobby shook his head as though that would clear it.
"What?" He asked.
"Cas hasn't been in school or answering his phone and he always answers when I call, so I got worried and rode my bike to his house. His dad told me that he's in the hospital and I need you to take me there now."
Bobby just sighed and cursed under his breath before hauling himself up from the chair and nodding towards the door, Dean ran out to his car and got in. Bobby followed him out, cell pressed against his ear as he trekked over to the car.
"Hey John, it's Bobby. I got Dean here, he left school to check on Cas and it turns out that Cas is in the hospital so I'm gonna take him over there." There was silence on the other line and Dean could hear his dad sighing before the warbled mumbling started. "Of course I'll wait with him, you idgit. I am his godfather." Bobby hung up after that. "John's meeting us there, he said to try and find either Kate or Charlie's mom."
He paged Kate when they got there, waiting for her at the reception desk. She looked hurried and concerned, and just slightly more pregnant. They still hadn't told him and Sam, but Dean was starting to see it now.
"Dean." She asked, winded slightly from her jog. She came forward, touching his face and arms, looking him over for injury. "Are you okay? What happened, what's the matter?"
"Kate, Kate." He grabbed her arms, "I'm fine. It's Cas, he's here."
Kate deflated a little, the anxious worry over finding him in a hospital bled out of her body. "Does your dad know that you're here?"
"I called him." Bobby answered. "He said he'd meet us here, but to let him see Castiel."
Kate gave them both stern looks before asking reception to look up the room number of Castiel Novak. She wrote it down on his visitors badge, looking Dean purposefully in the eyes before handing it over and making him promise to be home for dinner. Dean nodded and swiped the badge before sprinting towards the elevators, Bobby would catch up.
He saw Gabriel and Anna sitting beside each other outside the room when he got off the elevator, Alfie sat on Anna's lap playing with her phone. He rushed over to them, startling them both.
"How is he? Is he okay? Can I go in and see him?"
"Dean?" Gabe asked, confused. "Shouldn't you be in school?"
Anna deposited Alfie in Gabe's lap, standing and pulling the shaky Dean into a fierce hug. "It's okay. He's okay." She soothed, and Dean felt himself relax in her arms. Anna had that way with people. "It was just an appendectomy, he's fine."
Dean gripped her a bit tighter as he let out a shuddering breath at the words. He'd been so worried. He'd just lost his mom, there was no way he'd be able to survive losing Cas too. Anna seemed to realize that and had chosen her words carefully, and hadn't released her hold on him yet.
Naomi came out of the room and saw them, "Dean? What're you doing here?"
Dean broke from Anna's hold and faced Naomi. "Cas wasn't in school or answering his phone and I was worried, so I skipped school to bike over to your house. Mr. Novak told me he was down here, so I had my uncle Bobby drive me over. I just really need to see him."
Naomi gave him a hard look before nodding and ushering Dean inside the room, he went quickly as though she'd change her mind. Cas waved from where he was tucked into the hospital bed, eyes all drowsy. Dean felt the stinging in his nose and the blurriness of his eyes, seeing him in the bed at first brought back memories of seeing his mother in that bed. He went to stand beside the bed and hopped up onto it when Cas patted beside him.
"I was so scared, Cas." Dean all but whispered, furiously wiping away at the tears that continued to spill. "You weren't answering your phone and then I went to your house and your dad told me that you were hear and I was just so scared."
"I know, Dean." Cas grabbed his hand and held on to it tightly. "I'm sorry for scaring you. But, I'm okay now, see? Just an appendectomy, those are routine. Didn't even hurt." His speech was slurred a bit because of the medication, his eyes were partially closed and there was a small smile on his lips that wouldn't disperse. "Your eyes are like... so green, Dean. They're like that book about Ireland we had to read for that project. You have Ireland eyes."
Dean snorted out a laugh and wiped away the last of his tears. It was funny to see Cas all loopy, normally Cas was like a standoffish cat; he didn't understand personal space and didn't care. Sometimes he was playful and he was always affectionate with Dean, but his humor was more dry and sarcastic and his pop-culture knowledge was seriously lacking. But while under the influence of painkillers, Cas was a whole different breed.
"Thanks, Cas."
"Thank you for coming, Dean. I was worried about you."
"Worried about me?" He couldn't help but ask with furrowed brows.
"Yes. I know practically abandoning you would've set you off. I was worried about you emotionally. I know this must be hard."
Dean just wiped his eyes and held Cas' hand. "It's fine now."
They spent most of Christmas break holed up in Cas' bedroom, watching movies and eating junk food, because Cas was ordered to take it easy for a while by the doctors. Dean had only been grounded for a weekend for leaving school mid-day and biking across town, but that didn't effect their break. Dean went home for Christmas eve and day, but he spent New Years over at the Novaks and Sam came too.
Then, his birthday came around.
Dean's twelfth birthday was spent in the E.R., and he was really starting to hate hospitals at this point.
Sammy had slid on a patch of ice and broken his arm. He cried about how he'd ruined Dean's birthday, their first one without mom, but Dean had hugged him tight and threaded a hand in the back of his shaggy hair and whispered about how there was no place he'd rather be than with Sammy, so it didn't matter where they were. Which, was true.
John picked up food from Dean's favorite burger place for dinner after Sam was released and they watched whatever movies Dean wanted. Cas came over the next day with pies and presents and the day after Dean's birthday was spent with the two people he cared about more than anyone eating homemade pie and watching his brand new Star Wars box-set courtesy of Cas.
There was a party once everyone was free and available, Charlie and Benny had teamed up to wrangle everyone together at the diner for Dean's birthday. It was nice and they laughed a lot – and totally drank too many milkshakes. A few parents sat booths over, talking and eating as they let their kids have fun.
It was one of the best birthdays Dean could have wished for. Even if he felt his chest ache at his mom not being there.
A couple months went by without incident and then another change occurred. Adam was born.
John and Kate had officially told them after Dean's birthday and Dean had rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, I know." Even if he hadn't heard his dad all those months ago, Kate was six months pregnant by that point. Dean wasn't oblivious.
Kate had been worried at how they would react and Dean had just hugged her and then dropped to his knees to hug her stomach. Kate cried and Dean whispered to the baby that he was the best brother and not to let Sammy try and tell it lies. Sam had of course pushed Dean out of the way to tell the baby that he'd be the best brother and Dean was full of shit.
They sat there on the carpet, in front of Kate's belly, wrestling each other over who would be the better brother to the unborn baby. Kate didn't worry after that.
They didn't know whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, Kate had wanted it to be a surprise since it was her first child.
Sometimes Dean felt bad for Kate, she'd fallen in love with a man who already had a family and was thrust into it as they were attempting to build one of their own. He'd voiced it once to her, and she had shushed him with a big hug and a motherly kiss and muttered with conviction, "I may not be your mother, but you two are my children." He never again felt bad about it after that.
Bobby had picked them up from school on a Tuesday, they spent the night at his house – which, was always fun to sleep at Bobby's because he had the coolest collection of the odd things – and brought them to the hospital the next day to meet their new brother.
John looked tired, but happy when he met them at the door to her room. Kate looked even more exhausted, and even more glowing as she held the small bundle in her arms. She beckoned them over and told them his name was Adam. Kate worked at the hospital so there were a lot of people in and out as well as balloons and flowers gifted from the staff.
Baby Adam went home a few days later and then their little family had grown a bit more. Dean and Sam become very attached to Adam, they fought each other to hold him all the time, race to get his firsts before the other.
Adam's first word, after the standard Mama and Dada was Dee. He yelled Dee all the time and would cry unless Dean picked him up. Sammy got him to take his first steps though, and he always ran straight into Sammy's arms.
They were happy.
Thing were hard sometimes, Dean and Sam still cried for their mom, for all that they'd lost. But, overall, they were happy. John was around, Kate was around, Adam was theirs, Castiel and Charlie and Benny and Ash and the rest were always present.
Sixth Grade had been a lot of things, but Dean felt stronger because of it.
A/N: Tell me all the things! come visit me on tumblr! ellieohno