sleepy ash marry me pls

Chapter Ten

I want to confess

I had to pause for a moment just to appreciate the fact that Lucy had accepted my help without me pressuring her in the slightest. She had even smiled to me when I proposed that we should think of the best theme for the dance together.

I watched her write down the basic important parts that we should look out for, while simultaneously speaking them out loud. But I had completely zoned out on what she was saying, and just watched her mouth run without stopping, while my mind visited a different place. It returned back to what had happened after I met Gajeel two days ago.

"Anyway, the masquerade thing is out of the question since we did it last year." She finished, and I forced myself to concentrate.

But my attention was swayed by the way the fleeting rays of the sun used the last of their power to caress her soft skin. Watching the orange and the red and the yellow paint the landscape of her hair, it took everything in me not to reach out and touch it. But what got me most was the little pout she had been doing with her lips as she stared at the paper, and I started listing the pros and cons of kissing her right then and there.

The pros were that I would finally do what I've been wishing from the first time I ever laid eyes on her. I would hug her in the process and never let go. I would finally see what she tastes like, even though I know it would be the most delicious flavor in the world. We will heat up this entire classroom, and I would feel proud to say that I had touch Lucy Heartfilia's lips with my own. Not to mention, I would finally be able to convey my feelings towards her through my desire.

The con is just one. I would die an inevitable death.

Forcing my soul back into my body and out of my imagination, I concentrated on her eyes, trying to stay focused at the subject in hand. "What about some sort of color theme?" I muttered, coughing when I noticed that my throat had gone dry. "Like when can tell everyone to dress black and white or something."

"I see where you're going with that, but would everyone else like the idea, too?" She stopped to ponder for a moment, tapping the end of her pencil against the paper. "It's not just our class that we have to consider. The party will be attended by every student in this generation."

My thoughts wandered once more, and my brain was anywhere but there at the moment. I forgot all about the dance and the theme and the students. The only thing on my mind now, was what had happened two days ago.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on or nah?" I asked nervously, watching Gajeel literally stare at a brick wall for almost five minutes. He came out of nowhere, announced he had something important to talk to me about, and yet didn't say a word for the entire time we were here. I was getting tired, and since I was already depressed from my previous encounter, nothing he had to tell me would make me feel better.

Or so I thought.

"Apparently, bunny girl has some issues with her past." He started, and I was already confused.

"Bunny girl?"

"Lucy." He explained, only confusing me further.

"Why do you call her bunny girl?"

"She was dressed as one on last year's new year party." Gajeel rolled his eyes, as if I was supposed to know his weird nicknaming ways. "So, if you look at her past—"

"Hold the fuck up." I became unable to control my stress at that point, "What do you mean past? What bunny girl? And you knew the exact location of her reading club? What the fuck are you trying to do?! How the hell do you know all of that information? Did you stalk her? Are you interested in her?" His eyes widened. Bingo. "I fucking knew it!" I spat out, watching him open his mouth to retort, but I wasn't backing out and giving him space, "You knew where I could find her. You know some shit about her past or whatever, and you even remember what she wore last year? Not to mention your weird argument when you told me about her club."

"What weird argument?" He cut me off, clearly not remembering what had been turning my brain over for the past few days.

"Well, you told me not to get suspended when I was about to get in a fight with Sting. You said she wouldn't like me and avoid me if that happened. How the hell would you know?! If I remember correctly, you were suspended. Did you try your chances with her after? Did she reject you?"

"I can explain."

"Explain? You can explain? I'd like to see you fucking try." I was in a full-blown fit of anger at that moment, and nothing he could say would soothe me. "And what about threatening Sting, huh? Was that really for my sake or did you just vent out your true emotions towards him?! Did you yell at him because you were angry he has a choice with the woman you lo—"

I probably would've continued spewing more nonsense and provoking him if he didn't punch me at that moment. Feeling my legs shudder from the impact, I had to lean my hand on the wall behind me to keep myself from falling down on the ground. I was more angry than surprised, and it didn't take long before I was back on my feet, swinging my fist in an attempt to hit him back. Too slow. He dodged my hit and instead struck me with another blow to the stomach, which I was unable to block. This time, my body staggered with pain, before I felt the ground touch my knees.

Pathetic.

Once more, I proved unable to protect the person I feel for. Once more, I end up being humiliated in front of a rival, and I was unable to even try to protect myself.

A flash of red draped across my vision, my anger growing into full-blown resentment, and I was burning with passion. No way will I ever let anyone come between us again, even if it meant having my soul leave my body at this very instant, and watch my lifeless body fall to the ground. Even if I had to defend what's mine with my own two hands, I would not hesitate for a second.

Get up.

Gather all that anger you have been bottling up inside ever since you saw Sting talk to her. Gather all the disappointment you owned ever since you saw yourself unworthy for such a girl. Gather all that wanting. All that hoping. All that desperate need to feel her against you, and implement it here. Fight for it.

Fucking fight.

I widen my eyes in surprise as I watch Gajeel swing back from the punch I had apparently made. When did I get up? When did I get past his defense? How did I crack him?

None of that was important. The only thing that mattered now was doing what I did best: expressing my hidden desire through reckless acts of stupidity. If it was a fight I wanted, it was a fight I was getting. Gajeel seemed to have forgotten we were friends, and went all out. So did I.

After some time, maybe a minute, maybe an hour, or maybe just a moment, I was lying on the ground, my back against some sort of milk carton the cats probably dug out from the trashcans. Gajeel wasn't much better either, but at least he was on his hands and knees, instead of pathetically melting onto the street like I was.

Panting, I felt every cell in my body scream in pain as I tried to get up to finish what we'd started, but I plopped back down right the same second. My lungs fought for air, even though every time I exhaled they hurt like hell.

And right on cue, as if this were some low-budged drama, it started raining. I felt the cold water splash my face, my clothes, my shoes. And along with it, it washed away the blood off my cheeks, the dirt off my trousers, and the repulsion off my heart.

If I was allowed to love a person such as Lucy, why wouldn't he be? Who the hell gave me the right to walk around telling people who they can and can not have feelings for? I seem to have this sort of inner-monologue very often, but I never learn from it. I say I'll change my ways and yet I always stay the same. I seem to be stuck into a loop of my own creation.

"Levy." I heard Gajeel mumble, and I wasn't sure what he meant at first. "I know because she's Levy's friend." I blinked once, twice. I couldn't see his expression from where I was laying, but I guessed it was probably embarrassing. "I know she wouldn't like a guy who's been suspended because she's the same as Levy."

"What are you talking about?"

"I like her, that small-fry." He said, and it took me a few minutes to recover from the confusion. "I talked to her a lot before my suspension since we're in the same class and shit like that. She treated my wounds one because she volunteers in the nurse's office."

I swallowed back the will to say he'd gotten soft.

"I used to get into fights just so she would, y'know, make me feel better and ARGH!" He suddenly yelled, catching me off guard, "I can't do this touchy-feely romance crap."

And for the first time, we laughed. We laughed like he'd just said the funniest thing in the world, like there was no tomorrow, and like we'd just been enjoying our day instead of fighting to the death.

The echoes of our laughter bounced off the alley's walls, scaring off any people who dared peek from behind the buildings. To be honest, I've never felt more relieved in my life.

"So," he restarted, "while she was putting some stinging shit on my wound one time, she started talking about how she was worried for this Lucy chick or whatever, and she said that bunny girl had unresolved issues about her past, and wanted to be the best now so she could not feel guilty or something. That's why she didn't want a boyfriend, and has been single for like… forever now."

I nodded, fully aware that he couldn't see me.

"And when I asked who she was talking about, Levy explained that it was about the girl in the bunny suit at last year's party. I didn't remember who she was talking about until I saw a picture a few hours ago, and that's why I came here to tell you."

I saw an outstretched hand before me, and grasped it with gratitude. It was a bit hard to walk around like this, but at least I knew what had been going on. "Sorry about being a jerk and trying to solve this with fighting."

"Men solve everything with fighting," he laughed, and I joined him. "Just make sure this doesn't happen again." His expression shifted to serious, and I stopped laughing.

"Oh, and Gajeel?" I shouted at his retreating figure, as he was ready to return to the shadows from which he appeared from, "What was that about Levy not liking you after your suspension?"

He stopped walking but didn't turn around. I was about to just give up and walk away when he finally spoke, "She was disappointed. The look in her eyes… let's just say you don't want it to happen to you."

"Natsu?" I was brought back to reality by the sound of my favorite voice calling my name. I stopped to appreciate it… this rare moment of peacefulness and the joy of having her address me. I looked up towards her eyes, basked in the glory of the setting sun that made this whole thing more real, more intimate.

"Sorry I didn't catch that," I replied, enjoying watching her roll her eyes to emphasize what a klutz I was, and blow out some air in an attempt to move the strand of hair that was in her eyes. She could be so mesmerizing.

"I said, why don't we get a matching theme? Like, two people have to have matching colors or patterns on their clothing to enter. When she saw that I had no idea what she meant by that, she tried to explain. "For example, two girls wearing the same shoes or scarf, or a boy with a tie that matches the girl's dress, or something like that. We can also have people participate in groups. Like a group of five people all wearing the same hats. It can be really fun."

She suddenly looked away, blushing, probably feeling a bit shy to have spoken so much about her idea with such passion, and maybe I thought it was stupid.

But my eyes lightened up at the thought. I had to admit, this was pretty unique. 'Yeah, and they can make it cool by asking people 'do you wanna match with me' or something. It will get pretty exciting. A lot of relationships will be born"

She smiled. A cute, normal smile her friends have probably seen countless of times before. But to me, it was a remarkable sighting to say the least. I wish I could make her smile more often. I would be happy with just that.

"Okay then," she started writing down her ideas on the paper.

Who am I kidding? Alright with just that?

Never. Not in a million years. Even though I haven't let myself think about it too much, I would never be content with just staying by her side. I want all of it.

I want those eyes to look at me as I place my hands on her hips. I want her soft white hands to circle around my back as I lean her against the wall. I want to hear her voice whisper my name when I slip my hand under her shirt, stopping when I come in contact with the bare skin on her waist. I want that small plump mouth that's pouting right now as she writes, to part softly when I sink my teeth into her neck, and those lips move slowly when I place my own against them.

Happy with just that? No way in hell.

"Are you alright?" she pulls me out of my trance once more, and I realize I'm in big trouble. I promised myself I wouldn't think about that, and here I was, drooling over my imagination like a hungry vulture, ready to pounce on my pray and tear her apart. I'm an animal when it comes to her.

But I'm a guy after all. I can't be all sunshine and rainbows. Even though I've tried to keep my love for her as pure as I possibly can, I get desires every now and then, which makes me feel really guilty.

"What do you mean am I alright?" God, is my guilty pleasure showing on my face? Is it obvious that I feel something for her? Does she think I'm disgusting? Am I repulsive? Did she know what I was thinking?

"I just noticed those bruises!" She shouted, pointing towards my cheek. "Did you get in a fight?"

"Oh", I mumbled, "That…" What should I say? I fell down the stairs? I jumped in front of a train? I fell off my horse? I volunteered to be a punching bag at the gym? "Gajeel and I had a little argument."

"That doesn't seem so little to me!" She kept yelling, as she got up to pull out some sort of handkerchief from her bag, and a water bottle. She proceeded dampening the cloth before ordering me to lift up my shirt. "Lift it up."

"Oh, you want to see my abs? You could've said so."

"P-pervert!" She shouted, looking away as I laughed and raised my shirt as I was told. "Oh my god!" Her eyes widened at the sight which I already got used to. The left side of my stomach was bruised, purple marks all over it.

"It's nothi—OUCH!" I screamed out in pain as the cold cloth was pressed to where Gajeel's foot had been earlier. It was quite better than before, but my body still hadn't healed completely, no matter the amount of painkillers I'd been taking.

But for that one moment, the whole world made sense.

Everything happened for a reason. And I'd misunderstood everything just to punch Gajeel, which lead him to getting angry and fighting me, which lead to me being all bruised up like an eggplant, which lead to this beautiful moment. My Lucy being worried, and trying to tend to my wounds was the best thing I could ever imagine.

Even though it took everything I had in me not to jump her, I was still happy with just watching her do her best and shift around trying to lessen my pain.

"Gajeel, I understand!" I unconsciously shouted, getting why he got into constant fights just to have Levy patch him up. Lucy looked at me weirdly after the outburst, but didn't say a thing.

Watching her press the cold cloth against my bruises, and click her tongue at my carelessness, I couldn't help but feel like this was the best chance in the world for doing anything. I had her within reach, she was worried for my safety, and we were all alone. This was the best moment ever, and I didn't want to let it slip away.

I set my hand on the top of her soft head, buried under the silky blonde hairs. She looked up from her crouching position, and her forehead almost touched my chin. If I lean just a few centimeters, my lips will be on hers. The closeness excited me, and I felt my lips curl into a smile. I felt like at this moment, I could do anything. I was so happy and content.

The rest of the world didn't matter.

"There's something I want to confess."

Author's notes: Oooooooooooooooooooooh here it isssss

the big confessioooooooooooooon woooooop

What will the response be like? do u have any predictions about the next chapter?

I'm so EXCITED !

hope u liked it, lemme kno

~With keys, though flames! Aye!~