Flustered by the lingering feel of her body against his, Elliot's feet shuffle back and forth at the elevator. When the doors open he stands motionless and watches them close.

No.

Not this time.

Her body had responded to him and he wanted to finish what they started. He turns on his heels and heads back to her apartment, knocking furiously. She answers the door in a short pale pink satin robe. It's been two minutes max since he left and he doesn't know how she changed so quickly but he doesn't care. He seizes her mouth, silencing her faint protests.

"El," she pants weakly.

But it's too late.

Her robe is open baring her nude body, and his body pins hers against the wall.

"I want you so much," he growls as she unfastens his belt. No sooner than his pants hit the ground are her hands holding his warm length in her hands, massaging his already painfully hard erection.

It's their first time and it should be more romantic than this but he can't help himself. She wraps her legs around his waist and he lifts her up against the wall sinking into her instantly.

They exhale. Her face contorts with a mixture of pleasure and pain before her foot nudges into his bare ass urging him on. He begins to move and the feel of her velvet insides is enough to send him flying over the edge already. She's silk, smooth and everything he imagined she would be. Their earlier attempts not to wake up Noah are shot to hell now.

Olivia screams his name in ecstasy and beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead as he continues to push inside her.

"Please. El," she begs.

"Dad?"

"El I'm coming."

"Dad wake up!"

Elliot jerks awake, the heavy blankets on the couch pooling around his waist thankfully hiding his bulging erection from his oldest daughter standing over him.

"Dad are you ok?"

Startled, he looks around trying to make sense of where he is and what happened.

It was a dream.

He is on his couch sleeping. Despite the fact that he can almost smell her on him, it was all a dream.

Maureen watches him closely, the concern etched on her face. "Were you having a nightmare?"

He closes his eyes and sighs in relief. At least he wasn't doing anything that gave away that he was dreaming about fucking his old partner. "No, I'm fine. Just some uhhh….I don't even remember the dream anymore."

Pressing the heel of his hand in his eye to help steady his thoughts, he carefully shifts his body placing his legs on the floor but keeping the blanket over his lap so he won't give himself away. "How long have you been here? What time is it?"

"Well it's almost 11. It's not like you to sleep in and you weren't answering your phone," she explains while walking to the kitchen to start the coffeemaker. "So I let myself in. I was in the neighborhood and thought I would drop by."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

The cell on his desk lights up and he has a few other missed notifications. A text and missed call from Kathy, a text from Maureen and one from Pippa.

Nothing from Olivia.

"Why don't you have anything in your fridge?" Maureen shuts the fridge door in frustration and pulls two of his three coffee mugs from the cupboard.

"I usually order out. I need to go to the store today though," he explains while scrolling through his phone.

Should he send her a message? Or should he back off?

The dream was so vivid that it's hard for him to shake the lingering images from his brain. Making love to her wasn't real but the feel of her lips against his last night was definitely real and immediately brings a small smile to his face.

"Who's that? Pippa?" Maureen asks handing him the coffee mug and scooting in Indian style next to him. "You guys went out to dinner last night right? How was it?"

Elliot snickers while blowing over his coffee to cool it off. His daughter is almost a carbon copy of Kathy in looks with her long thin blonde hair and lean frame. Her tenacity and stubbornness, however is all him. "I had to cancel. Something came up."

"Which was….."

"I-"

"Please don't lie dad," she cuts him off suddenly more serious. The last thing he wants to do is get into the messiness of his reunion with Olivia, the discovery of her new boyfriend being his arch nemesis on the job that he's sure they've overheard referring to Tucker by something that rhymed with that name over the years, confronting her about drinking and somehow ending the night with a passionate kiss. After managing to make it home with the events of the hour prior swimming laps in his head, he hadn't called Pippa back and was so antsy he finally fell asleep on the couch after watching some infomercials. "What's going on?"

"I ran into Olivia again," he admits. "Last night I cancelled with Pippa because I needed to talk to Olivia about some stuff."

Maureen shifts off the couch making a sound similar to the one Pac Man makes on the video game when he's captured. "Uh oh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shakes her head, placing the mug on the table. "Should I go ahead and have Margaret call Pippa and tell her she doesn't stand a chance?"

"What?"

"Oh come on Dad. This is me you are talking to. Not Eli or the twins but then again they are probably old enough to know better."

Shaking his head, he can't help but wonder how long everyone has been on to them. How long he spent fighting and hiding something that was in plain sight. Getting his relationship back with his children after spending years missing recitals, basketball games and dances has been his biggest priority. He's learned the hard way that telling the truth is the only way to continue to bridging that gap.

"Ok you win," he relaxes into one end of the couch with Maureen smiling in anticipation on the other end. Some things he will keep to himself out of respect for Olivia's privacy but the parts about him and where his head is he will share. Because that's who he is now. Someone who shares his feelings with the people who mean the most to him in the world. Someone who opens up. "What do you want to know?"

Two cups of coffee. Sugar free red bull. A bagel with cream cheese. Bottle of water.

It's nearly noon and despite everything she's consumed, she still tastes Elliot on her lips. Unconsciously she's counted at least three times that she's touched her lips still a little swollen and tingling from the feel of his mouth against hers.

Thankfully it was a semi quiet morning at the 1-6 by SVU standards so her lack of attention span hasn't been really noticeable. He hadn't reached out to her yet and she found herself debating more than a few times about calling or texting him but decided against it. They needed a little distance. Anytime Elliot was near her she somehow managed to lose her senses and her defenses were lowered. Hell, he was almost like a walking glass of wine. The mental comparison makes her laugh out loud to herself.

"What's so funny? I hope that's not our case you are laughing at," Pippa interrupts.

"Oh no," she stands awkwardly looking around on her desk for something to place the blame on. "I was just laughing at this write up of Fin's case notes."

"I can only imagine." she walks in, her cream colored blazer and skirt contrasting perfectly with the navy blouse underneath. Olivia tries not to be self conscious but there's a certain competitiveness she now feels in the ADA's presence. "It looks like you guys have enough on Martinez so I have arraignment on him later today."

"So what are you thinking? Slam dunk?" Snapping back into leader mode is more effortless than it once was.

"I think with the witness statements that Rollins and Dodds gathered we should be good. His alibi is shaky at best. I wish we had a little more recovered from the search warrant because it's mostly circumstantial..but we have the glove and that's the smoking gun."

"We also found her phone in his apartment," she argues, rounding the desk to stand in front of Pippa.

"Yes and the defense will argue that they were friends so it's not odd that it would be there. Maybe she left it."

Olivia scoffs and folds her hands in front of her in frustration. "Is there anything else we can do or find out that would help? I want this son of a bitch behind bars."

"We all do," she quickly reminds her.

"Hey Lieutenant you have a delivery here," Carisi announces with a small smirk on his face.

Her mouth hangs open as he sets the bouquet on her desk. Immediately she grabs the card while a nosey Pippa looks on.

Sorry about last night but I look forward to dinner tonight.

Ed

Tonight?

"Shit," she utters out loud, placing her hands on her hips. Their date. She had completely forgotten. There's no way she can cancel because she promised him so many times that she wouldn't.

Her mind had been so focused that morning on Elliot and the kiss they shared that she didn't have time to fully process the things he said about Ed's part in his resignation. It sounded like him doing his job but there was an edge to it that made her and clearly Elliot believe there was something more behind his tactics. But it couldn't be. That wasn't the Ed she knew. Or was it?

"Ahem," Pippa clears her throat. "You ok?"

"Oh yeah," she moves the vase to the far end of her desk and sits down.

"I have to say I don't think I've ever seen someone have such an adverse reaction to flowers. Let me guess mystery guy messed and sending you flowers to make up?"

Olivia forces a chuckle waving the card back and forth in her hand. "You're good."

"Eh well. I've had my share of guys who couldn't get it right so I'm used to it." Pippa begins to fidget uncomfortably and look away from her. Instantly, she knows that one of those guys is probably Elliot. Her instinct is to comfort her or offer some cliche words of advice but she knows she's absolutely the last person to be able to offer any encouragement after what happened between them last night.

The guilt begins to twist in her gut. And to make matters worse she hates herself for being a little disappointed that the flowers aren't from Elliot but brushes the notion off as silly. Why would he send her flowers anyway? Once again it was her heart getting ahead of her head.

"I'm sure it will be fine," she offers half heartedly and opens her laptop hoping it signals the end of their conversation. The situation has gotten complicated to say the least and this is a woman she works with. Olivia doesn't even know if Pippa and Elliot will continue to date or how often they've gone out and it's none of her business. Just like her and Ed's relationship isn't Elliot's. But they are towing a very fine line and someone will get hurt.

"Yeah well Elliot cancelled on me last night claiming an emergency came up so I'm starting to get the feeling that he's not interested anymore." Olivia freezes momentarily but starts back typing even though nothing on the screen makes sense.

He cancelled their date to follow her to her house and talk. Shit.

"I'm sorry," Pippa apologizes, her hand clutching her necklace in embarrassment. "This must be a little weird for us to talk about considering the whole history with you guys."

Thank god she said it.

Olivia lowers her blue rimmed glasses and sets them in front of her. "Honestly yeah it is. Look I know we kinda talked about it before you realized I knew who he was but El-I mean Elliot didn't talk to me much about his love life even when we were partners so.."

"No it's ok I get it. I should get going anyway. I'm due in court in a little bit."

She tried not to make her relief shown. "Ok I will let you know if there are any issues at arraignment."

A few minutes later she was gone and Olivia was back to work. In between checking on Noah and work, she called and made reservations for her and Ed for dinner. There was no doubt that she wasn't overly excited about seeing him again especially after the way they left things and what happened with Elliot but more than anything she wanted answers. What he said about the circumstances surrounding his resignation was burning in her brain.

It would be tricky to infuse her questions with what was supposed to be a "romantic" date but there was no way she could sit with him for hours and not get answers. Then it dawned on her. If he admitted to it, to all of it, did it change anything?

She knew he used less than honorable tactics on almost every member of her squad at some point and she made the decision to date him nonetheless. Should this be any different?

But of course it was different. Because it involved Elliot. And this is why she resented him at times even when it wasn't always warranted.

He changed the way she thought about the simplest of situations. Everything was so black and white until he was involved. He was always her shade of grey.

The smell of the flowers filled her nostrils as she tries in vain to rub the tension from her temples. Lilies. They were beautiful. Not her favorite flower but it was a kind gesture nonetheless. He was trying and that deserved something. Her phone starts to buzz again and she exhales. She just needs a few moments to breathe, recoup from one thing before something else pops up. It was Pippa.

"Benson."

"Olivia we've got a huge problem."

Elliot dropped Eli off at Kathy's after soccer practice before heading back into the city. His talk with Maureen along with a fresh crop of his own overthinking was still swarming his brain. He hasn't talked to Olivia all day or sent her any messages for fear of overcrowding her. The previous night had to have taken a toll on her and he didn't want to over do it but at the same time he wanted her to know that he was still thinking about her.

About them.

Unable to fight the temptation any longer, he sends her a message.

Do you have a few minutes to talk?

He's almost back to his apartment when Olivia calls him.

"Hey," he says timidly. His voice is almost shy as if he's unsure how to talk to her now that they have kissed.

"Hey," she responds gruffly.

His overprotectiveness kicks into high gear and his voice is suddenly stronger. "What's wrong?"

Her sigh tells him all he needs to know. "Tell me where you are. I'll meet you."

"El-"

"Tell me."

"I'm almost home but you don't-"

"The hell I don't. I'm about twenty minutes away from you. I'll be there soon."

Suddenly, every light is taking too long and traffic seems to take forever. She still hasn't hung and he decides to talk to her until he gets there. "Tell me what's going on."

She's still silent and he thinks he hears sniffles on the other end of the line and it breaks his heart. There's only been a handful of times that he remembers seeing her cry. She's always been the strong one even when he wishes she didn't have to be. Too caught up in his own bullshit he didn't always comfort her the way he should have early on in their partnership but towards the end they had finally gotten to the point where they didn't mind showing that side to one another. "Liv. Tell me or if you can't talk right now I'll just hold the phone until I get there. Whatever works for you. Ok?"

Olivia sighs again and pulls herself together before she confides in him that Rollins and the CSU techs dropped the ball with the chain of custody in a key piece of evidence for their suspect's trial causing the case to be thrown out. Pippa called her furious and they have to start from square one. It was a high profile case, as 1PP acts like so many of them are, and Dodds on the cusp of retirement, had called to bitch her out.

By the time he pulls up to her apartment building he spots her silhouette sitting in the car near her building. He doesn't hesitate to shut off the engine and head over to her.

"Hey," he says as he opens the passenger side door and sits down next to her. She's not crying anymore but he could tell by the puffiness under her eyes that he had just missed her tears. He was partially thankful that he was not there to witness them. A crying Olivia Benson was enough to knock even the strongest man to their knees.

He watches her closely while she stares forward on the parked car in front of them, trying hard not to make eye contact. "I have to go upstairs soon, I need to give Noah a bath," she says mechanically.

"Ok, we can just sit here for a minute and just...sit."

They are quiet for a few moments and he watches her hand squirm around the steering wheel and then rest on her knee. He wants so much to grab it and comfort her any way he can but he's still walking on eggshells. The boundaries of their relationship are still undefined. While they sit, he notices the flowers in the backseat.

Olivia tenses slightly at his observation and answers before he has a chance to ask. "They are from Ed. We are supposed to go out tonight," she explains with no emotion.

Elliot sucks in a breath trying to reel in his growing feelings of anger. "Going out?"

"Yep. I promised him I would take him to dinner earlier this week."

He rolls his eyes back in his head, his thumb and index finger pinching his nose to try and keep calm. If he reacts wrong to this he will lose her. He's so close and yet so far but can't help but feel like the same territorial bastard who wanted to ward off any man that got anywhere near her. Besides this wasn't just any man. This was Tucker and he hates the guy with every fiber of his being.

"Well I'd certainly hate for you to break your promise," he bites off trying but failing to hide his disdain.

"Don't start Elliot," she turns her head to him pleading with her eyes. She can't take anything else today. "I told him I wouldn't cancel this and I won't. There are some things he and I need to talk about. Did you think everything was going to change because of what happened last night?"

Truthfully he did or he had hoped. But he knew better.

"Anyway, I don't need to let another person down today. I told him we would go out and we will. I just-I just need a minute to pull myself together," her voice cracks.

Without thinking he leans over and pulls her into his arms as best he can considering their position in the car. Olivia rests her head in the crux of his neck, similar to the way she had done the night before when they were standing in her living room and when he hugged her after Sonya Paxton died. Leaning his head against hers, his jealousy is instantly sidelined replaced by the overwhelming need to be there for her. He strokes her back gently and can feel the tension slowly begin to leave her body. Minutes pass and he tells her it's going to be ok and whispers other reassuring words in her ear.

"What time is it?" she asks, her words muffled by his shoulder.

"It's almost 7."

"Shit," she curses but doesn't make an effort to move. Her eyelashes flutter against his neck and his arm shifts away from her back to her arm. "I need to go."

"You still haven't told me everything that's wrong. Let me help you," he whispers into her hair.

"I'll be fine."

"Liv.."

"I just feel like I'm always coming up short. If it's not juggling work and managing my team, I'm letting Noah down and not spending enough time with him. I can't even begin to maintain any kind of friendships or a social life," she ranted her head still firmly planted on his shoulder, "I feel like I'm trying to do everything and I'm failing at everything. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Like nothing I do is good enough."

Elliot chuckles to himself, the vibration of his shoulders causing her to jerk her head up. "Are you laughing at me?" She stares at him in disbelief.

"No," he defends but doesn't wipe the smile from his face. "Ok yes."

Olivia reaches for the door handle in disgust. "Good night Elliot."

"No wait," he puts his hand on the door to stop her. "I wasn't laughing at you. It's just-you're a mom Liv. You're a mom to a toddler and the Commanding Officer of the Special Victims Unit."

She watches him waiting for him to state something that's not so obvious.

"I could barely keep a handle on my kids and I had a wife at home and I was just a detective. I didn't have a whole squad to manage," he explains. She unfolds her arms and softens her gaze. "Honestly if you didn't have a bit of a meltdown or feel overwhelmed every once in awhile I would think you were a robot or something. You're human Liv and the fact that you are managing it as well as you are is just.."

Her brown eyes watch him expectantly. "It's amazing. You're allowed to doubt yourself. All parents do. And I imagine all leaders do too. Cragen wouldn't have left the squad to you if he didn't know you could do it."

Tears prick her eyelids, his thumb sets on the edge catching them before they fall to her cheek. "I know you can do it. Some days are harder than others like today but it all comes with the territory. You're a good mom."

She rolls her eyes and scoffs. "How do you know?"

"Is he still alive?" he asks, his smile reluctantly causing her lips to curl up.

"Yes, he's alive."

"But seriously. I know you're a good mom because you don't know how to be anything else. You will run yourself ragged just to make sure you are home in time to put him to bed and make sure you're the last face he sees at night and the first one he sees in the morning."

A single tear falls down her cheek at his words. He's not sure but he has a feeling it's what she needed to hear.

His thumb rubs back and forth across her face as she begins to calm down. Unable to stop himself, his eyes drift down to her lips and back to her eyes. There is a slight flicker he sees staring back at him.

It's approval.

Permission.

Elliot leans in, his heart racing. He pecks her lips gently at first, waiting. Their newfound relationship is like navigating a landmine. One wrong move and everything could explode. She presses her lips to his in return and leans in seeking more of him. He tastes the faint flavor of Bourbon mixed with peppermint on her soft lips. Olivia opens her mouth slightly in an invitation and his tongue quickly meets hers. The kiss begins to heat up and he can feel his body responding. Aroused, his hand tangles in her wavy chestnut hair pulling her even closer as his mouth ravishes hers.

His mind is lost, he knows this isn't the time or the place but his senses are firing on all cylinders. She's vulnerable for all the wrong reasons and even more so, she's about to go out with another man.

The thought pulls him back instantly. "I'm sorry Liv I shouldn't-I shouldn't have."

"It's ok," she whispers against his lips. "I need to go. I mean Noah has-"

"I get it." Scrubbing his hand down his face, his sigh is a mixture of defeat and aggravation. He has to let her go. Against everything in him, he has to walk away from her tonight and everything that is simmering between them. "Are you sure you are ok?"

"Yeah." Olivia gives him a sad smile but the gratitude she feels is evident. "Thanks for the talk El. Really." She touches his hand and he squeezes it in return.

He looks down at their hands intertwined. "I know it may not have felt that way and I have a lot of making up to do but I will always be here when you need me. Always."

Elliot gets out of the car and she follows soon after. "Don't forget your flowers," he reminds her.

"Oh yeah," she flushes a bit embarrassed for a second.

"Lillies hunh? I would've bought Peonies." Her favorite flower. The one thing he knows her and her mom had in common and had delivered to the funeral home when Serena passed away. She smiles again in recognition. No matter how much time has passed, he will always know her better than anyone else.

"Good Night Liv."

He watches her walk up the stairs and let herself into the building waving goodnight to him. Elliot gathers himself for a few moments before he places his hands in his pockets and walks back over to his jeep hoping and praying that whatever is developing between them and the truth he revealed to her about why he left is the beginning of the end of her relationship with Ed Tucker.