Pippa flips her long wavy hair, straightens her black pencil skirt and exhales as the numbers on the elevator ascend closer to her destination. She's been in the 1-6 several times over the years. Today is no different. Or maybe it is a little. It's a follow up regarding one of the kids taken in custody during one of SVU's cases and will be the only time she's seen Olivia alone since everything ended with Elliot. Their last encounter had been strictly business and one of her team members was always in the room.

Sometimes she wishes she wasn't so inquisitive. Who's she kidding? She's just nosey. The knowledge that of all people Olivia is seeing Ed Tucker was surprising to say the least. Because of the complicated dynamics, she tried her best to hold back her reaction to the news when Elliot let it slip.

Remembering his face as he sat across from her and essentially told her he was in love with another woman was something she wouldn't forget anytime soon. Not because she was head over heels for him. Their courtship had been brief. But she knew all too well what is was like to have a love that deep for someone you hadn't seen in years.

Ironically she had probably spent more time with Olivia over the years than Elliot but the Lieutenant was very much a closed book especially when it came to her personal life. Now that Elliot was for all intents and purposes kind of her friend, weird dynamics be damned, she was interested in getting a feel for where Olivia's mindset was. It was overstepping and probably not the best idea, but the look in his eyes as he confided in her she couldn't forget.

She had felt that way about someone once. It seems like another lifetime ago. Star crossed lovers with wrong timing. As with all things in life, he's moved on. And so has she. But she can't shake this overwhelming uncontrollable need she has to right the wrongs. Not just in the courtroom but in life as well.

"Your crusading is going to get you in trouble Pip," her older brother with the much more common name had once told her. But she didn't care. Determined, she struts purposefully towards Olivia's office. The other officers move around the squad room all serving their purpose and briefly she spots Rollins and Carisi talking at his desk just before her gaze lands on Olivia.

The phone is glued to the Lieutenant's ear as it is more often these days. They briefly make eye contact and there is a flicker of something in Olivia's expression. For a moment she wonders if it's Elliot on the other end of the line.

Quickly ending her phone call, Olivia waves two fingers motioning for Pippa to come in. Her mannerisms are a bit rigid, the black blazer hugging her royal blue top that clings close to her body. She's wearing color more these days that matches the increasing color in her cheeks. There's definitely something different about her.

"Hey Pippa," Olivia tries to sound more jovial than her face lets on. "Whats up?"

Pippa shrugs, a small piece of her red hair falling in front of her shoulder. "I actually came by to update you on the case with Bruno."

Olivia's face immediately softens at the mention of the little boy from the case some months ago. "How is he?" Removing the glasses from her head she sets them down on the desk, and walks around to sit on the edge.

"He's ok. He's put on a little weight. They are taking really good care of him in foster care."

"That's great," Olivia praises, folding her arms. "How can I help?"

"I need you to come to family court and just talk to the judge about the conditions you found him in. There is a family looking to adopt him but they just want to hear more about his history. Chantal Jackson will be there too."

The corners of Olivia's lips lift marginally and her eyes roll towards the ceiling. There is definitely no love lost between her and the social worker. Although she ultimately recommended her for Noah's adoption, Olivia and Chantal had their share of run ins that Pippa sometimes was in the middle of. The phone calls came in several times over the span of six months with the question of Olivia's commitment to Noah. Pippa always had her back in those conversations. Olivia's schedule was much worse than hers and she was having trouble picturing how she would have kids someday even with a husband. Pippa had no idea how Olivia made it all work as a single mom but somehow she has. And she admires her for it.

"Oh come on I thought you two were besties now," she jokes and makes herself comfortable in one of the guest chairs.

"Oh yeah," Olivia scoffs. "We hang out regularly. I was thinking of inviting her out for drinks sometimes soon."

With the tension somewhat lightened, Pippa takes advantage. "Speaking of, I could certainly go for some drinks sometime soon. What do you say?"

Olivia stops in her tracks and quickly clears her throat. "Umm yeah I guess. If you are ok with that?"

Pippa chuckles uncomfortably and straightens in her seat. "Of course I am. Just so you know Elliot was very honest with me about how he felt and I can't say that I was all that surprised. I told you about my suspicions about his former partner and," she waves her hand towards her. "Turns out I was right."

Olivia runs her hands through her hair, her bottom lip pulling into her mouth. "I want you to know that nothing happened while the two of you were…"

"I know," she holds up her hand to stop her. "I know nothing really happened but you know we were really early on into everything."

Olivia nods her understanding but Pippa continues on still wanting to clear the air completely. "Look either way there's no hard feelings. You and I were cool before all of this and I just hope it doesn't stop us from hanging out or anything."

Her head shifts back in shock at Pippa's words and she tucks her hair behind her ear. "Wow. Well I hope so too. Really I-," she huffs clearly frustrated at not being able to find her words. Olivia is usually pretty kept together so it humbles her to see her taken off guard when it comes to discussing the man they have in common. "I know it's a weird situation but I appreciate the way you are being about all of this. A lesser person would've been a bit more-"

"Bitchy?"

Olivia chuckles. "Yeah for lack of a better word."

Leaning in just a bit, she drops her voice just a bit realizing she is about to tread on thin ice. "I know that I haven't known him long but I think we both care about what's best for him. I think that despite your circumstances that you are what's best for him."

Yeah. She didn't even bother being subtle and the flabbergasted expression on Olivia's face shows that. "My circumstances?"

"Well yeah you know with you seeing someone," Pippa answers making sure not to reveal that she knows it's Ed. However, she has a feeling that Olivia knows that she's aware.

Olivia cracks her knuckles as her hands clasp. The atmosphere changes and although she doesn't regret bringing it all up she just hopes that she hasn't crossed the line so much so that she's done more harm than good. "Just so you know those circumstances aren't really the issue," Olivia declares carefully. "Elliot and I have a lot of history to work through and we are trying. It's just going to take some time."

"I can understand that," Pippa retorts. "It's been awhile but just so you know. He cares a lot about you and-"

Two quick knocks on her open office door halt their conversation. "Well I hope I'm not interrupting," the familiar voice fills the room.

Her and Olivia exchange strained glances before plastering on fake smiles. "Of course not come on in."

Of all people to enter her office right now it would be Chief Dodds. As if trying her best to maneuver through a conversation that could be described as nothing less than uncomfortable and awkward wasn't bad enough she was now face to face with Chief Dodds. When does he retire again? She has grown to like and respect his son over the time that he has started working for her but as for his father there is no nice way to put it. He gets on her nerves.

"Well if it isn't two of my favorite ladies," his arms are wide open as if he is going to hug them both but thankfully he stops short.

"Sounds like a man with just a few days left before retirement," Pippa inserts and Olivia is instantly glad that she too can play politics and help combat the forced dynamic.

"Well more like a week and a few days," he corrects.

Their eyebrows raise in unison. "Excuse me?" Olivia asks.

"Some things came up and I have to delay by a week."

Dear Lord. Why? Another week of him sticking his nose in her cases and bothering her about everything.

"So since I have a little more time," he claps his hands together in front of his perfectly tailored suit. "I came to check on the status of the Sandoval murder. As you know the sheer logistics of this has been all over 1PP and the news."

Exhibit A. Every case they work makes the news but here he is again. Sticking his nose in.

Olivia breathes back the sarcastic response that rests on her lips and gives him a very brief rundown of where they are with the case.

"Well good to hear. I know as usual you and your squad are on it." She nods in understanding not bothering to give another static political response and he continues on. "I'm going to grab your Sergeant and take him out to lunch," he turns towards the door. "I'm going to see both of you ladies at the party next weekend right?"

Olivia's eyebrows furrow in confusion. Why would Pippa be at a cop function?

"Wouldn't miss it," Pippa answers.

"And you Lieutenant? I see that you were on the RSVP list. Look forward to seeing you and Ed there."

Shit. Ed hadn't bothered to tell her that the party was rescheduled but why would he considering that she broke it off with him and they hadn't been speaking?

"I didn't hear that it was rescheduled so I'll try and see if I can fit it in," she offers politely trying to hide her annoyance.

"See that you do," he replies passive aggressively. Now she knows that she will have to be there. "And tell Ed I said hello."

Dodds gives her a wink before he heads out. Olivia's hands grasp her forehead, trying to fight off a headache. They didn't disclose and she didn't feel like dealing with rumors of her and Ed when there was nothing to them anymore anyway. If Dodds knew then others would say something. This was exactly why she didn't want to go with him. She had only accepted because she felt like she was letting him down and wanted to show him that she was serious about their relationship. She was lying to herself and him. "Wow, he's very not subtle hunh?" Pippa asks.

"That's putting it mildly."

"If it makes you feel any better," she begins and Olivia can't help but notice how trite she looks. "I really don't think a lot of people know about you and Tucker. I hadn't heard anything."

Olivia exhales loudly in frustration. Pippa recoils slightly but keeps talking, "So if you're worried about that..."

"Yeah I am especially since-," she stops herself. Telling her about the end of her relationship with Ed before she tells Elliot would only make this whole situation worse. "I just like to keep my private life private. People talk too much around here as it is."

Pippa nods clearly receiving her not so subtle message. "Understood."

Olivia walks back to her chair, putting on her glasses signaling the end of the conversation. She's had enough pleasantries and posturing for one day.

"Hey Olivia. I was serious about what I said before," Pippa insists while gathering her briefcase. "I would really would like to do drinks sometime."

For a moment, she has flashbacks of how she felt walking with Kathy Stabler in the park shortly after she got back from Oregon. It's yet another incident of a nice woman who she wishes she could dislike that also cares about Elliot and is trying to tell her something about their relationship that she's not open to hearing. They will figure it out themselves. But for as somewhat overbearing as she is, Pippa is also authentic and she appreciates that. If she wanted to cause trouble or make the situation much worse she could've done so but she hasn't. For that she's grateful.

"I would like that as well."

The relief is evident on Pippa's face and a second later she sees her slender frame walking away towards the elevator. Having her as an ally isn't a bad thing. At least their professional relationship was in tact despite the strange logistics of their personal one.

As with most days at SVU, the hours go by relatively fast and before long Olivia is at home bathing an exhausted Noah.

"You're really tired tonight hunh?" she asks as she washes the shampoo out of his hair. The bubbles are all around him and he lazily swats at a few while shaking his head yes to answer her question. Too tired to speak.

She smiles at him, reaching for the bright blue towel with fish all over that he loves so much. "I understand. Mommy is pretty tired tonight too."

Olivia swaddles him in the towel, holding him close to her chest while they balance on the closed toilet seat lid. He's falling asleep in her arms and she laughs while he rubs his eyes and fights to keep his eyes open. He wants to stay up for his story but she knows he won't get past the first page.

"Doggie book," he says between yawns and she laughs again.

"I know Noah I know. We will read the doggie book," she assures him referring to the Clifford book that is now his favorite. Her son's tenacity in his continued efforts to get a dog don't go unnoticed. She's just waiting to see how long before he comes right out and asks.

Two pages into the book he's sound asleep but as is her way, she finishes it anyway.

After he's tucked in, she slowly pads into the kitchen and fixes a glass of water while she checks her phone. A few work emails and some text messages. One from Fin updating her on the case, Amanda saying she will be in a little late tomorrow because of Jessie's doctor's appointment and one from Elliot.

Seeing his name on her display instantly brings a smile to her face. The thought of his voice, his lips on hers, his hands on her body gave her butterflies in her stomach. She can't keep still, nervous energy running through her limbs. Grasping the countertops and her head leaned over, she tries to steady herself. Their nightly conversations had become a highlight for her but each time she feels them treading closer and closer to uncharted territory. She didn't know how long she would be able to resist him or how long she would be able to resist saying the words. Those words.

The phone begins to buzz on the counter and she knows without looking at the screen that it's him. As she lifts the phone to her ear, she bites her lip to stop the giddy smile that crosses her face. "Well hello there."

"Hello," Elliot responds mocking her playful tone. "You didn't answer my text message."

"I hadn't had a chance yet. I was putting Noah down. What did it say?"

"It says that I know it's late but I was in the area and was wondering if I could stop by." He clears his throat after the question and his nervousness immediately extends to her. The fingers of her right hand tap anxiously on the counter and she tries to think quick. Noah was asleep so there was no worry of the two of them having some impromptu meeting. She still didn't know where she stood with that yet. But there was one big problem. It was late. They were in her apartment and…

"Liv?"

"Yeah," she answers timidly almost not recognizing the sound of her own voice.

"Can I come over?"

God. Why did he have to sound like that? There was a time that his voice was just a familiar constant in her life. Now it awakened something else within that made her nervous.

"I don't know if that's the best idea."

"Why not?" he asks and she can hear his wide grin over the phone. "You don't trust me?"

No. I don't trust myself.

"You know I did at first but now that you say it like that I don't," she purrs looking around her apartment as if there is some sign to whether she should say yes or no.

"I won't stay long. Unless you have company or something."

Oh yeah. She still hadn't told him.

"No I don't have company."

She hears his sigh of relief. "I promise I won't stay too long."

"Well you did say you were a minute man," she jokes.

"Ouch."

Olivia laughs and walks to the mirror in the hall. She looks tired but she still has her work clothes on, minus her blazer and shoes so nothing will happen. Right. Nothing will happen. Nervously, she takes her hair down from the clip she had it in from when she bathed Noah and rubs her hands through to straighten it out.

"So is that a yes?"

Glancing across the room, she notices the toys on the floor. Damn. She needs to clean up.

"Yes. It's a yes," she answers while putting the toys including the stuffed dog into Noah's toybox.

"Good, because I'm already downstairs."

Damn. Olivia works overtime collecting everything and throwing it in there trying to make as little noise as possible.

"How did you get here so fast?" she asks trying to stall him but hears his jeep door close.

"I told you I was in the neighborhood."

Her feet feel like lead. She can't move around fast enough. The pictures, the toys, everything. She's looking for something, anything that may tell him something that she isn't ready for him to know. That she wants to keep to herself for just a bit longer.

It's only a matter of seconds and she hears the soft knocks on the door. "I'm here."

Olivia breathes deeply again, her gaze locking on the door. He's there on the other side. He's been there before but this time it's different. This time it's an offering into another part of her life. Because her life is not something she wants to hide from him.

Not anymore.

Elliot stands on the other side of the door steadying his nerves. His false bravado over the phone quickly disintegrates the minute she is before him. For a second, they just stand and look at one another. Both unsure of what to say or do. His feet shuffle a bit back and forth before he finally finds his voice. "Can I come in?"

"Oh yeah," she tries to sound nonchalant. "Come on in." Backing away from the door, she motions with her right hand to let him in and he walks by her slowly. His first instinct is to hug her but he resists the urge and slowly makes his way down the short hall into the wide expanse of her living room. The last time he was there he was fueled by anger over her relationship with Tucker that the details escaped him. The first thing he notices besides the stark contrast to her old place is the toy chest in the corner decorated with red and blue trains on the front. There are a few toys still on the floor, pictures lining the walls and even though the lights are mostly off, there is a brightness of this place that didn't exist in her other apartment. It feels more like a home.

"Sorry about the mess," Olivia apologizes scurrying past him to pick up some Legos and a stuffed bear that was on the couch.

"No it's fine," he says sticking his hands in his pockets to stop his overwhelming need to touch her. When she bends over to put the toys in the toy chest he quickly diverts his eyes away from her perfect backside that he watched for years when they were partners. It was safer to sneak a peek back then but in the confines of her very quiet apartment and practically alone it was more dangerous. His hand rubs back and forth on his neck anxiously as he looks around anywhere but there and focuses on the pictures on the shelf that lines her wall.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

Elliot makes the mistake of tearing his eyes away from one of the photos of her on a rock overlooking a beach. Olivia is facing him hunched over folding the blanket and he can see the top of her breasts through the gap in her shirt. They are almost spilling out of her bra and he remembers how it felt when his lips grazed over her soft flesh, cupping them with both hands.

"El? You want something to drink?" She asks again and he can see the hint of the smile playing on her lips. He's busted.

"Yeah some water would be fine," he rasps.

"You sure you don't want something stronger?" she asks raising her eyebrow challenging him.

He smiles in return and his eyes scan the full length of her body. "I don't think you want me here with my inhibitions lowered anymore."

Effectively turning the tables, Olivia blushes and scurries to the kitchen to grab the water. He watches her open the fridge, pull out a bottle of water and place it on the counter. Seconds tick by and she's perfectly still. Not moving. Watching her closely, he can see her back move slightly up and down with her head tilted down. Concerned, he walks to the kitchen and sees her holding tight to the water bottle with her eyes closed. His footsteps are light but he can tell by the flicker of her eyelids that she registers his proximity.

"Liv you okay?" he asks. His voice almost a whisper.

She stretches her neck from side to side, trying to release some tension. His hands fidget at his side longing to reach out and touch her there. Massage whatever kink is in her neck. Relax her. But he's scared to make any moves that put him in contact with any part of her body. If she didn't trust him to behave himself tonight he would totally understand why because he's struggling. Struggling to contain everything in him that just wants to touch her. Feel her. He wants to hear her moan and come over and over again with his name on her lips.

Instinctively, he steps directly behind her. His body just shy of touching hers. His breaths are on her neck and he can smell her shampoo as his head tilts down.

"I have your water," she responds weakly. Her hand drops from the bottle.

"Thank you." He reaches around her to grab it and his arm grazes her shoulder. Olivia jumps at the contact, goosebumps breaking out across her skin. He's so close and his hand drops the bottle, landing on her shoulder instead.

"Liv," he whispers, almost begging. For what he's not sure. The strength, the courage to stop. To start.

"Yeah."

"Turn around," he commands and he buries his head in her hair.

"El," she whispers but he can't tell if it's a question or a plea.

His thumb caresses her shoulder and then works its way to her neck. Before he can close the distance between them Olivia turns around and wraps her arms around his waist. He immediately returns the hug pulling her close, his forehead leaning on top of her head.

They stand like this for minutes. Neither one of them moving. Scared that any slight touch would escalate the situation to a point of no return. He doesn't know when it became like this. When they could barely stand in a room together without the air being so thick that both of their chests heaved just to get air. Or maybe it's always been like this but like so many things with them over the years it's been safely tucked away.

Hidden beneath all of the other unsaid words and unshed tears their tortured history has bestowed upon them. He can feel her heart race against his and holds her tighter. Tenderly, he caresses her hair and he can feel her breathing start to regulate. While he on the other hand tries to fight his body's natural reaction to her.

Olivia gives him one more tight squeeze before she pulls back, her dark eyes meeting his. For a second, her eyes flicker down to his lips and back to him again. She's fighting just as hard as he is. They both know what will happen if their lips touch. If they start, they won't stop.

"Let's go back in the living room," she mutters, her voice breaking just a bit.

Olivia walks slowly back into the open space, he follows close behind. They sit down and he doesn't leave much room between them. If he moves just a little his right leg will rub against hers. But he remains still.

"So…" she begins trying to break the silence and nervously tapping on the water bottle before handing it to him.

"So." Elliot takes it from her quickly draining half the bottle hoping to cool himself off. Literally and figuratively. Rubbing his sweaty palms against the denim of his jeans, he clears his throat trying to find his voice.

"I have something to tell you," Olivia declares tentatively.

HIs fists clench involuntarily and he holds his breath.

"Ed and I broke up."

For a second everything stops. Did she say what he thinks she did?

"Did you hear me?" she asks squeezing his hand.

"Yeah," he answers shaking his head for extra emphasis.

Her voice is even and he can't tell if she's upset by it or not. He hates Tucker but not as much as he hates to see Olivia hurt or unhappy.

"I'm sorry," he fires off mechanically squeezing her hand back. "Did he-?"

"No," she cuts him off quickly. "I ended it."

The smile on his face is instant but he tries to hide it behind taking another sip of water.

"Is this the part where you try to act like you are broken up about it?" Olivia smirks.

Elliot places the empty water bottle on the coffee table and leans back against the couch. "I've never been that great of an actor but if you're hurt then yeah it does bother me."

However, when his eyes meet hers he sees nothing but a sense of peace and relief on her face and he relaxes.

"I'm not hurt. It happened a couple of days ago," she explains. "I would've told you earlier but it seemed like something I should tell you face to face so.."

"I'm glad you did."

It's over. He's relieved but once again doesn't want to push her and ask what it means for them. "Can I ask why it ended?"

Olivia gives him a small smile leaning against the back of the couch next to him. Some of her brown tresses fan across his shoulder and he places his head on her shoulder.

"I think you just did," she snickers.

His worry that he's overstepped is quickly disintegrated by the smooth touch of her hand across the low stubble on his chin. She places a quick kiss on the end of his nose and once again his hands are opening and closing involuntarily.

God. He just needs to touch her.

"I ended it because it was the right thing to do. I wasn't-," she falters when he places his hand on her thigh. "I didn't trust him and I know ultimately it wouldn't go anywhere. It just seemed..convenient not really genuine you know?"

The statement hits him square in the gut. It's how he felt in his marriage for years. There were nights especially toward the end of their partnership that he stayed awake nights thinking about what could've been. If he wouldn't have been afraid and concerned with what was convenient and safe maybe things would have been different for them. It had crossed his mind so many times during his separation and exploding when she left for Oregon. His heart had been ripped out and he kissed his new partner just trying to feel something. Anything.

Without her he was a shell of a man, but he couldn't make himself abandon his sense of responsibility. So he settled for having her by his side at work while he went home to his wife and children. While most would think he had the best of both worlds, having his cake and eating it too it was the exact opposite. It was hell being by her side day after day and keeping that line clear when there was so much he wanted to say. So much more he wanted to do.

"Yeah I know," he whispers. His hand grazes her cheek and his lips cover hers. It's soft and sweet, almost like an apology. Everything happens for a reason but there's so much he wishes he could change. Olivia sighs contently into the kiss and his tongue drives deeper into her mouth. Using every bit of control he can muster, he manages to keep his hand still on her thigh. They continue to kiss, only breaking away for a few seconds to catch their breaths.

There is nothing better than this. Than her. The feel of her against him. He knows he has to end this soon before his body starts working on autopilot. He swears he can feel the hardness of her nipples graze against his chest. The hand that rests on her thigh begins to move upwards cupping her ass and pulling her into the warmth of his body. Olivia deepens the kiss and he is lost. He needs this. Needs her. It may be too soon but the sounds she makes, the way she feels against him. It has to be right.

"Liv," he groans when her fingers dance on the edge of his shirt. If she touches him anywhere, he's done. She has the power to completely unravel him. She always has. In an instant his mind catches up with him and he's weighed down by their history. By everything that he's held back for so long. Suddenly he can't breathe. "Liv, wait."

Olivia pulls back immediately, her dark eyes glazed in both confusion and lust.

His eyes slam shut. He can't look at her. Not when he says it. "I have to tell you something."

She recoils immediately expecting the worst and he grabs her hand to stop her. "No no it's nothing like-I just have to say-"

Shit. Just say it.

"What is it?"

The concern in her voice kills him and when he opens his eyes again he sees the picture on her end table behind her for the first time. It's of her and Noah and it makes his heart ache even more. What he has to say it needs to come out right or it will make him seem like an even bigger son of a bitch. A thought that he has only kept in the back of his mind, not even admitting it to his therapist. Never speaking the words out loud.

"El tell me what it is please."

Sitting up, he places his hands in his lap. "I need you to know I love my son."

Olivia settles in beside him, still not saying anything while he searches for the right way to say this. "Eli. I love him more than anything."

"I know that," she answers in confusion.

His palm digs into the crevice of his eyes as he pushes through. She has to know. "I love him but I just need you to know that there's not a day that goes by-that...that I don't wish I would've gone to you that night instead of Kathy," he says his voice beginning to falter but he recovers. "Not a day goes by that I don't wish he was ours. That you were his mother."

Author's Note: Yikes...yep we are not ignoring any history. We are going to cover it all. Thanks for all the amazing feedback on the story so far and for being so patient with the updates. I really appreciate it.