Author's Notes: Why do these chapters come out so long?
I suppose I just connect really well in a chapter and bam too many words. ;w;

Poor confused Karma, he really does have a heart of gold. He's just mischevious, loves attention and can't speak his emotions properly. The love he'll develop unconditionally to Nagisa without knowing will be ridiculous. And Nagisa will be clueless to it all.
Then again, Nagisa is so damaged and broken. I'm sorry for doing this to him.;^;

Also, excuse him for having emo-ish music, I can imagine him listening to that type of thing. It's a way of his to deal with emotions :P

Anyways, thank you for the love/support! I still don't expect it, this FF is just so depressing. God damn.
Please comment if you'd like me to add something or just a general review is awesome to see. :)

Karma's POV

I was stood there in awe, if I wasn't mistaken was that twerps eyes? Was it? The more I pondered, the longer I was stood there and I heard music playing… It sounded like very calming music. [I imagine it'd be this: Sakuzyo - After Altale]
But there were silent cries I could vaguely hear in the background…

Yeah, that was Nagisa.
I heard it before on the roof, and then I realised what the relaxing music was for... It was for the violent panic attacks. As much as I could have easily broken in the door to ask questions, as much as I could have teased... I didn't want to move.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak.

I felt awful. It seemed something had broken him...

But what?
I was feeling thrown off by what even happened, and why we would even be paired together.
I was already going through hard times myself, but if Nagisa was too then I didn't want to hammer teasing him.

I sighed, staring at the door. Guess I should probably leave that for another day. I didn't want the boy to feel this wasn't his home, considering he was here for a reason like that.

I felt myself yawning, and realised it would probably be best to put myself to bed soon too..

The next day:

I was up early due to the damn school schedule we were on, at first I started the day with breakfast and games. No sign of him.

Afternoon soon came along and I thought it'd be best do homework with a snack. No sign of him.

Maybe if I go out? Would that solve everything? Would he feel more comfortable then?

I decided I probably needed the fresh air too. I quickly got myself dressed and into my gym outfit. I stretched before I left and took myself out for a jog. At least the school field was around the corner.

When was the last time I even took care of my body? It seemed everything was too much of a distraction to care.

I had 'Art of Dying - You Don't Know Me' blaring in my headphones whilst I worked out. Usually, rock got me going and in a mood to do this type of thing.

As I started my press-ups I found myself singing along to the lyrics

"I'm a fist, I'm afraid, I'm a link in the chain
I'm the worst of the best, but I'm in this race,
You don't know me!"

I bellowed the last few words to try and get myself in the mood. But I still seemed occupied, my mind kept drifting back to the kid in the room beside mine. It was taking too much of a shitty toll on me already.

"Fucking hell, why does this keep happening? I shouldn't care... You're a fucking nuisance " I shouted to myself, it pissed me off.

I didn't want these shallow feelings for the kid. Before I just wanted to break open the act myself and get emotion myself. Not see how fucking destroyed he was underneath. That wasn't okay. He was reminding me of my mother.

I couldn't stand it.
I punched the floor in my frustration as 'Billy Talent – The Navy Song' started to play.

This won't fucking do, will it?
I had to do, or say something. Even if I left him some food outside his door, it would be enough… Right?

All I knew was this wasn't Nagisa. Sure, I only knew him from the bullying and observing him, but the kid was very good at acting. Not eating, moving or maybe not wanting to live, wasn't okay.

As I jogged in my worry I ended up back to the place without even damn realising it... But something caught my eye, I pulled my headphone out of my ear to listen. Who would be outside our door? An unwanted guest?

They were shouting awfully loud at the boy. "Hey, Nagisa! Come on, I know you're home, I'm so damn sick of worrying. You need to say something. These texts aren't helping me or you… I really do love you, you need to have more trust in me"

I love you...? Oh, fuck, him out of all people. Asano.

I got closer and looked at the orange hair, but his voice was changed as he heard me coming closer. "Oh thank you, someone, here to let me in. I'm just so worried about my love, can you either let me in or mention something to him? Please?"

I tsked and rolled my eyes. I didn't really want him anywhere near the house. But Nagisa's problem, not mine at all. I decide to leave the boy outside with the door open, wrong fucking choice.

I look on the side of the kitchen quickly, still noticing no mess, no crumbs and no sign the kid was even eating.

I sigh going up the stairs and I knock on kid's door. "Yo, your boyfriend's here…. Are you going to do something about that?"
I hear a mutter behind the door. "I can't hear you, speak up… He seems impatient"

Eventually, a few steps I hear and fumbling, the drained Nagisa opens the door. Man, he did look like the death I was worried about.

"I can't… Not right now. Just tell him to come in a few days, I'm sure it'll get better.." Nagisa didn't even have to tell me twice… Was he even sleeping or managing to?

There were bags underneath his eyes, the crystal blue orbs I always looked in for answers said nothing. They were dull and he looked out of it?

Nagisa wasn't even dressed, he wore his blue locks down which were nearly mattered from not washing them... Unfortunately whilst I looked at the boy, I hear another pair of feet come up the stairs and the front door slammed behind him.

Shit, the door was left open...

As Nagisa nearly eeped, I heard his door slam and lock behind him. But that was enough for Asano to realise his dearest was, in fact, awake and alive. I cursed to myself.

"Oh honey, come on. We have to speak, you can't leave me on hold like this…" Asano managed to get past me, so he could talk at his door and put his ear on it.

"Look, I've been through enough recently. I need the space, I'm not in good shape right now…" I watched Asano's expression slightly change as he tried to manipulate his words to suit the bluenette's. "Please, I love you."

As much as I wanted to step in and pressure him to get the fuck out of our house, I was going to... But to my own surprise, I heard chibi's footsteps come to the door to open it and let the boy in.

I shook my head, not exactly pleased about it.
I decided it'd be easier to sit in the living room, rather than listen through walls. That would be easier, mind you. But I wasn't exactly a protector or one to listen to other people's conversations.

Nagisa's POV

Despite not sleeping, despite not eating or having the desire to live right now I went to the door for my boyfriend.

I let him in and watched Asano's eyes look around the room kind of alerted at how I was living and what I was doing to myself. But he held back, I could tell as his mouth went to open a few times to say but then not say.
I always went to Asano's house, he never came near a room of mine. He watched me sit on my bed. "You can sit here if you like" I gestured him over.

"Much appreciated, thank you" My love sat beside me, trying to think and muster up the right words to say. Beforehand I had sent him a few messages about what was going on, only the vague responses, though.

I felt a sense comfort as my lover put his arm around me to test what I was feeling. But I soon found myself longing for those arms to hug me. I went to hug him closer and to smell the familiar scent I knew too well.

I needed this.

And Asano could tell, as his grip was tight not wanting to let go. I felt his hand go into my untied hair which was curled and tangled down to my shoulders. He sighed and I hid my face into his neck.

I didn't want to cry… I didn't want to show it to anyone, but recently I couldn't stop crying. I felt the first few tears drip onto Asano and soon, I felt my body silently sobbing into him.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, I'll protect you" My lover soothed my back and my hair, cradling me in his arms. Asano wasn't used to this, I could tell. I rarely let him see this sensitive side of me.

It was too damaging to show.

We spent the next few minutes in silence as I continued to cry, I shook slightly during my sob as it still hurt like an open wound.
Every time I started to cry like this I would have flashbacks to what mother did…

Flashback:

"Nagisa, did you leave the fucking bath water running… Again? I told you, it's not okay for you to do this. Even if you are in the next room" My mother turned the water off again as she came into my room whilst I was getting changed.

Never did she give me the privacy that I needed, and I felt her frustration change as she saw me half naked.

I wasn't the girl she wanted.
I wasn't girly enough for her. It angered her.

She looked at me through her disappointed and disgusted eyes. "Why must you fucking remind me you aren't the precious girl I wanted? You should just wear those pretty dresses I have gotten you, and never get undressed. No one wants to see that!" As she told me these words, she came up to me and started to pull my hair viciously as it fell from my ponytails.

I grinned to bear it "Yes mummy, I'm very sorry". Mummy was her name inside the home as it made me sound more like a girl. Her grip suddenly turned harder and she gave me another bruise to my naked flesh.

"Try a little higher" I knew if I didn't the punishment would become a lot worse.

"Yes mummy, I'm sorry" I raised my voice higher to match how a girl of my age would sound as I winced in the pain I felt from her smacks.

"Much better, after the bath-time we're playing dress-up darling!" Her voice slightly changed pleasantly as she had pushed me on the floor. Mum wasn't even looking at me anymore, she was out of the room going to her wardrobe for the new dresses.

"Hey, hey, calm down" Asano tried to call for me as I balling loudly at the thoughts that were loudly distracting me. I was woken up from the pain in my heart. It felt like it was being constricted and clenched by my mum's grip.

I pulled away, looking at my lover with broken and damaged crystal blue orbs. My glance was looked back into purple concerned ones,

Asano had never looked so concerned before. It was comforting…

"I-I'm sorry… I-i-it keeps happening!" I tried to blurt out between my cries, it was a surprise Asano even understood what I was trying to say.

"Hey, I understand… If it's getting this bad, you should try to distract yourself away from it… Not go back to it, okay?" Asano tried to reassure me, trying to think of what they could try and do to pass the time. I nodded, trying to wipe my tears away.

The strawberry blonde helped as well, laughing "They won't go away, will they? Those silly tears!" He tried to kiss the last ones away, which did the trick. I ended up smiling in the end, beginning to laugh.

"Well, I see you have a laptop, we could always watch funny videos on the internet? And then afterwards, we could make something to eat" Asano then pointed to the empty junk packets on the floor

"That's not really going to make you better now, is it?"