A/N: Some of you are probably wondering why I had Ashley record a voice message at the end of the last chapter even though she only sends a written message in ME2. Well it's because in a way, she did send a voice message. As a Thanksgiving gift for Mass Effect fans, Kaiden's voice actor. Raphael Sbarge, recorded himself reading the message Kaiden sends if he was romanced by FemShep in ME1. Some time later, Ashley's voice actress, Kimberly Brooks, did the same thing. Her performance was so amazing that to this day, whenever I get to the point in ME2 where Shepard gets Ashley's message, I play the recording and, in my head canon, pretend that Shepard really did receive a voice message. I'm taking the same approach with this story because I feel it goes perfectly with how I'm having Ashley deal with Horizon. So I highly recommend that before reading this chapter, go to Youtube and search for "Mass Effect 2: Email (with voice over) from Ashley" (it should be the first video listed in the results), and have that video ready to play when you get to the part in this chapter where Shepard gets Ashley's message. Hopefully by hearing the message read aloud, you'll get an idea for how Shepard is feeling as he listens to it. Now, enjoy the latest chapter of Mass Effect: Love Conquers All.

Once again, Shepard was making his rounds on the Normandy. He was also once again having to try really hard to hide the anger and frustration he was feeling from the rest of the crew. It made him glad that all the doors on the Normandy were automatic because he probably would have been unable to avoid slamming doors behind him. The reason for his current frustration was because of what happened during the debrief of his latest mission. The mission in question began when Shepard had learned from the Illusive Man that he had intercepted a distress signal from a turian patrol. In the message, they reported that they had disabled a Collector ship. The Illusive Man wanted Shepard and his crew to board the ship and find any information that could help find a way for Shepard to safely navigate the Omega-4 relay so that he and his team could finally get off the defensive and take the fight to the Collectors.

A lot of horrifying discoveries were made when Shepard and his team were on board. One important discovery was that the Collectors were in fact Protheans, a race that ruled the galaxy until, at least as far as Shepard and his team knew, they were wiped out by the Reapers fifty-thousand years ago. The discovery on the ship revealed that not all the Protheans were wiped out but had undergone brutal genetic alterations by the Reapers that turned them into obedient servants.

The mission went to hell when it was discovered that the Collectors on board were not dead and that Shepard and his team had stumbled right into a trap. It was a difficult fight but Shepard and his team managed to get the information they needed and escape the ship. However, before they escaped, Shepard learned from EDI, the Normandy's AI, that the distress signal that alerted them to the Collector ship was a fake. Shepard initially didn't see anything strange about it since it seemed logical that the Collectors would use the fake signal as part of their trap. Then EDI revealed the real reason she was puzzled by the signal. She had detected that it was a fake using Cerberus detection protocols that were written by the Illusive Man himself. In other words, the Illusive Man knew the signal was faked but sent Shepard and his team to investigate the ship anyway.

That was why the debrief began with an angry Shepard accusing the Illusive Man of betraying him just like he knew he would. The Illusive Man merely explained that he didn't tell Shepard about the fake signal because he wanted the Collectors to believe that their trap was working and that he was confident that Shepard would be able to handle whatever happened on the ship. Shepard wanted to cut the communication right then and never talk to the Illusive Man again. Sadly he couldn't. Even though his hatred for the Illusive Man was reaching its peak, Shepard still needed his help to stop the Collectors. All he could do was listen as the Illusive Man went over what EDI found in the data they recovered and how it gave them a new lead. Before signing off, the Illusive Man asked Shepard to tell the crew that he didn't put their lives at risk unnecessarily. The second half of the debriefing consisted of Shepard explaining to the crew that the Illusive Man did have a reason for sending them into the trap though he didn't hide the fact that he was not happy with it. He then went over the lead the Illusive Man shared with him. If the lead payed off, then they would have what they needed to go through the Omega-4 relay. While some of the crew expressed interest in following up on the lead right away, Shepard felt that was a bad idea. From a ship and weapons standpoint, they were ready for the mission. As for the crew, there were no more dossiers of potential squadmates so they were fully staffed. The problem was that Shepard had been noticing a lot of his squadmates seemed to be distracted by other things. If they were going to have any chance of surviving what was being called a suicide mission, everyone needed to be clear-headed and focused. Their latest lead was not time-sensitive so there was no rush for them to investigate it. Shepard decided that he was going to wait to follow up on the lead and instead talk with each one of his squadmates and see if there was something he could do to help get them mentally committed to the mission. He had already received requests from two of his squadmates when he recruited them so that was a good place to start. Thus the Normandy was currently on route to the location of the first personal mission. Unfortunately it was going to take almost a whole day to reach it leaving Shepard with few options to take his mind off the results of the Collector ship mission.

"Commander."

Shepard's rounds were interrupted when he ran into Miranda in the hallway that joined the armory, research lab and briefing room. When he turned to face her, her expression told him that she didn't stop him to have a pleasant chat. Shepard subtly rolled his eyes as he had a feeling what it was going to be about. It was more than likely about the comment he made during the debriefing. After revealing why the Illusive Man sent them into the Collector's trap, the crew seemed to reluctantly accept it. However Shepard followed it up by expressing his disapproval for it by saying "he tries something like that again and the Collectors will be the least of his problems." Miranda's next comment proved that Shepard's hunch was right.

"I didn't want to upset the crew further by bringing this up at the debriefing but I don't approve of what you said about the Illusive Man," she scolded, "challenging his decisions in front of the crew is not good for morale. He had his reasons for keeping us in the dark about the Collector's trap and, while you may not like them, it paid off. You've made it quite clear to Jacob and me how much you don't trust the Illusive Man but you shouldn't be letting those feelings become known to the rest of the crew."

"Well maybe the crew should know what kind of man they're really working for," Shepard said as he got up close to Miranda's face, "maybe YOU need to start seeing who you're really working for. How can you approve of what he's done Miranda? He's using us as an expendable means to an end. Unlike him, I don't believe anyone's life is expendable and I feel we could have found another way to get the information we needed without needlessly risking our lives."

"But Commander…"

"Don't bother Miranda! You've already tried to tell me several times about how the Illusive Man is only looking out for humanity but from what I've seen he has done nothing but ruin the lives of countless humans! Look at me for instance. He may have brought me back from the dead but he's made the entire galaxy distrust me, including someone very special to me, just so that I would have no choice but to work with him. Right now, all I want is for us to get this mission over with so that I can get away from him and Cerberus!"

Shepard waited for the next argument to come out of Miranda's mouth but was surprised when she didn't speak. Instead she looked like she was on the brink of tears. It was not something he was used to seeing from someone who was nicknamed "the ice queen". He was still up close to her face so it made easy for him to quickly figure out why. She had the same distracted, unfocused look that he had been seeing on his other squadmates. There was something on her mind and it was making her unable to concentrate on their argument. Shepard was about to ask Miranda what was wrong but changed his mind. After what he just said to her she probably wouldn't be willing to open up to him. It was hard enough for Shepard to get to know basic things about her during their previous one-on-one conversations in her office and that was when they weren't arguing. Still he was going to need her to tell him soon so that he could try and help her. So he decided to at least end their conversation civilly and hope to bring the subject up at a later time.

"I'm sorry Miranda," he said softly, "I do appreciate your concern and you should be able to share concerns with me without worrying I might snap at you. I guess I've got a lot on my mind."

The apology seemed to make Miranda feel better but now she seemed concerned by what Shepard said, "anything I can do to help?"

"No thank you," Shepard replied, "I appreciate the offer but these are things I need to work out on my own. In the meantime, I will take what you said into consideration."

"Thanks Commander, I'll be in my office if you need me."

After Miranda had gone, Shepard resumed his rounds while thinking about what he had just said to her. The more he thought about, he really did have a lot of stuff on his mind. First there was the fact that he was bothered by having to rely on the help of the Illusive Man who had proven twice now that he wouldn't hesitate to put people in unnecessary danger to get what he wanted. Next there was the general pressures of command. He was leading the crew into a suicide mission and he had to convince them there was a chance of getting out alive even though he had no idea how they were going to do that. Finally, and probably the biggest distraction of all, he couldn't stop thinking about Ashley. It had been a while since Horizon yet their conversation lingered in his mind. He still hoped there was a chance of saving their relationship but he didn't know how to do it. If she was still angry at Shepard because she thought he was working for Cerberus, she might not want to talk to him. With all these distractions on his mind, Shepard was worried that maybe he was not focused on the mission and that he too needed the same kind of help he was trying to give his squadmates.

The question now was who could Shepard turn to for help. He could talk to either Garrus, Joker, Dr. Chakwas or the recently added Tali'Zorah vas Neema since they had served with him on the original Normandy and knew him the best. However he felt the advice he needed had to come from someone who didn't know him well so that the advice could be unbiased. The seven other non-Cerberus crew members fit that bill but Shepard didn't think it would be wise to seek advice from either a bounty hunter, thief, scientist, convict, tank-bread krogan, justicar or assassin. That left only the Cerberus personnel. For the most part Shepard felt that none of them seemed to be "bad" people but he didn't know if he could trust them completely due to their loyalty to Cerberus.

Then again, there was one person he could probably talk to. After all, one of her jobs was monitoring the crew to ensure that their mental health was sound. Plus, out of all the Cerberus members on the crew, she was one of the few that he knew the best. His mind was made up. The best person he could seek advice from was his yeoman and ship counselor, Kelly Chambers. Fortunately Kelly was at her post by the galaxy map making it easy for Shepard to find her. She turned to face Shepard when she heard him coming up behind her.

"You had me so worried when you were trapped on the Collector ship," Kelly said, "thank goodness for EDI."

Kelly was referring to the fact that Shepard and his crew would not have been able to escape the ship if it wasn't for EDI's ability to hack into the the Collector's systems. With that access, EDI was able to open the doors Shepard and his crew needed to get through to return to the shuttle. However the thing about Kelly's comment that took Shepard by surprise was the genuine concern he heard in her voice. Sure she should be concerned about the safety of her commanding officer…but there seemed to be more to it than that.

"That sounds like more than just professional concern Kelly," Shepard said.

"You're more than just my commander," Kelly replied, "you're my friend."

If the first comment had taken Shepard by surprise, the second one left him almost speechless. True the previous talks he had with Kelly included a little bit of playful teasing you might see between friends but he didn't expect to hear any of the Cerberus crew members, let alone Kelly call him a friend. A part of him now felt bad that he had been keeping her somewhat at arms length. Looking back, Shepard realized Kelly had been trying to be friendly with him since they first met. She even insisted right off the bat that Shepard call her by her first name. The conversation he was having with Kelly now proved to him that he was right in picking Kelly to be the one to discuss his problems with.

"EDI brought you back to me," Kelly continued, "if she had a body I'd give her a big hug."

Shepard smiled. One thing he always liked about Kelly was her loving personality. It didn't matter if the person was human, alien, male or female or even if the person was an AI, Kelly loved them all.

"I'm standing right here," he replied, "where's my hug?"

"Oh Shepard," Kelly chuckled, "I wish there were time to get to know you better."

That was the opening Shepard was looking for. Another thing he remembered from when he and Kelly first met was that she said that her job as a counselor was best done informally. Shepard decided that the best way to do that was if Kelly and he had dinner together. So he did something he hadn't done with anyone else since he first stepped onto the Normandy, he invited Kelly up to his cabin.

"Why don't you join me in my cabin for a meal," he said, "it would give us a chance to talk."

"That sounds wonderful, lead the way."

It may not have been an elegant dining room but Shepard was able to set up a nice place for him and Kelly to have dinner using the couch and coffee table. Shepard and Kelly had longed stopped eating their meal and had been doing nothing but sharing stories for the last two hours. They were having such a good time that Shepard had forgotten the main reason he wanted Kelly to join him in his cabin. Fortunately, while Kelly was getting ready to leave, she proved to be as observant as she stated during their first meeting.

"Well Shepard this has been an amazing dinner but I think it's probably time you told me why you really wanted to see me," she said.

"How did you know…?" Shepard started to reply before he stopped himself, "I…I mean I told you I wanted to have dinner so that we could have a chance to talk and get to know each other better."

Kelly's smile showed that she wasn't buying it, "It's okay Shepard. I'm sure that you really meant what you said but I can tell there is something else on your mind."

Shepard gave a slightly embarrassed smile as he realized he had been caught. He then got up from the couch to grab the picture of Ashley on his desk. He wasn't planning on bringing her up right away but he figured he'd get the picture now so that he would have it when he needed it. While he was getting it, he started answering Kelly's question.

"As you are aware," he said, "I've decided to wait a bit before we follow up on our latest lead on the Collectors. The reason is because once we do, it won't be much longer before we hit the Omega-4 Relay. The odds of us getting out alive are slim but we've been making progress on improving our chances. All I need to do now is ensure that everyone on my team is free of distractions and fully committed to the mission. That's why I'm going to have us spend the next couple of days doing some personal missions for my squadmates. Unfortunately, while I can help my crew, I have some distractions of my own that I could really use some counseling for. Your unofficial job is to monitor the mental health of the crew so…"

Kelly nodded that she understood, "I'm all ears Shepard. I'll try to help anyway I can."

"Do you want me to lie down," Shepard joked referring to how most people picture a psychology session as a patient lying on a couch while the doctor sits in a chair taking notes.

The joke made Kelly chuckle, "only if you want to. Do whatever makes you the most comfortable."

Sitting back down on the couch, Shepard began by talking to Kelly about his general nerves about the mission. It was a new experience for Shepard as he usually tried to hide any nerves he had from the crew so as not to lower their morale. However he chose not to mention his uneasiness about working with Cerberus because he didn't want to make Kelly take sides since she worked for Cerberus herself. Instead, Shepard went into the details about how he felt like he was just going through the motions of commanding even though there was a part of him that was worried the mission wasn't going to end well no matter what he did. True to her word, Kelly just sat and listened to everything Shepard said. When Shepard was finished, Kelly gave him some reassuring words about how she didn't believe he was just going through the motions. She said that she believed he was going to lead them through the mission because his motivations were genuinely good. Shepard really cared about what was happening to the colonists and as long as he held on to that motivation, he would succeed. The smile on Shepard's face proved that Kelly's words were helping. Now Shepard was ready for the big problem he needed to talk to Kelly about. He gave Kelly the picture of Ashley for her to look at.

"You remember what I said when you asked me how I felt about Chief Williams?" he asked.

Kelly nodded as she put the frame down on the table.

"I meant what I said," Shepard continued, "Ashley is an incredible woman. Unfortunately she took my death really hard. Then when I showed up on Horizon in a Cerberus vessel, supposedly confirming the rumors that I had faked my death to defect to Cerberus, she accused me of betraying the Alliance and her. I tried to tell her what was really going on but she wouldn't listen. When I first woke up, the one thing I wanted more than anything was the chance to see Ashley again. Our reunion on Horizon went so bad that I'm worried that I might never see her again and have that relationship we had before I died. Even if I do get us through this mission alive Kelly, what then? I've lost two years of my life, everything I've done to get the galaxy to prepare for the Reapers arrival was swept under the rug, I'm not with the Alliance military anymore and I might have lost the woman I love for good. Do you understand, Kelly? The only thing that scares me more than the mission is the fact there is literally nothing for me to go back to when it's over."

While Shepard was talking, he noticed that Kelly's expression changed from contemplative listening to…almost guilt. It was like she wanted to comment on Shepard's thoughts but something was keeping her from being able to speak. Suddenly Shepard saw that Kelly's eyes were moving back and forth like she was looking around the room for something. Then it dawned on Shepard what the problem was. Kelly was afraid to speak because she thought she was being watched.

"It's okay Kelly," Shepard said to calm her nerves, "it's just you and me here. I knew the Illusive Man had planted cameras and microphones throughout the Normandy so I found and disabled all of the ones that were in my cabin. I promise that no one is watching or listening to us."

Shepard's assurance helped Kelly relax a bit and she finally spoke, "you really love Chief Williams, don't you Shepard?"

Shepard nodded, "absolutely. I've never felt this way about any other woman before."

Kelly was silent for a few more seconds while she tossed whatever was in her head back and forth one more time. When she appeared to have made a decision, she pulled up her omni-tool and started typing a few commands. Shortly after she pushed the last button, a chime came from Shepard's private terminal. Shepard looked at Kelly with a confused expression as he awaited an explanation.

"You know that one of my jobs as your administrative assistant is to manage your messages," she said, "one thing the Illusive Man told me to do when I was given the job was to ensure that you never got any messages from Chief Williams. I thought the request was a little strange but he said that he was afraid that your relationship with her might distract you and jeopardize the mission. I'm sorry, Shepard. I thought I was helping you but from what you've told me, everything the Illusive Man said he was afraid would happen is happening anyway. The message you just received on your private terminal is a message from Chief Williams. It's the only one she sent, I swear."

Shepard's gaze went back and forth between Kelly and his terminal. On the one hand, his mind was racing as he wondered what Ashley may have sent him in her message. More so he was anxious because Ashley actually sent him a message. It still could have been full of bad things but at least Ashley was still willing to talk to him.

On the other hand, he was trying to figure out how to respond to what Kelly said. She knew about his feelings for Ashley but hid the message from him. He had every reason to feel betrayed. Yet, he found himself unable to be angry with her which was surprising since he had been feeling angry and frustrated with almost everything else about the mission. Unlike the Illusive Man, whose intentions for keeping Shepard and Ashley apart were purely because he was trying to manipulate Shepard to do what he asked, Kelly did what she did because she thought she was helping Shepard. There was nothing about Kelly that made Shepard think she was as evil as the organization she worked for, only loving. He reached over and took Kelly's hand.

"It's okay Kelly," he said, "You thought you were helping me which is what any friend would do. I forgive you."

Shepard then opened his arms to offer Kelly a hug. Kelly let out a relaxing sigh and looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She embraced Shepard and the two just sat there hugging for almost half a a minute. When the hug broke, Shepard got up and escorted Kelly to the door.

"Thanks for coming by Kelly," he said, "and thanks for the advice. I'm beginning to feel a little better now."

"Anything to help a friend Shepard," Kelly replied while giving Shepard another hug, "I hope things work out between you and Chief Williams. Good night."

When Kelly had gone, Shepard practically jumped to his terminal and pulled up his message inbox. Sure enough, there was a new message from Ashley. The subject line read: Hey there. So far the message didn't sound like it was going to be an angry one. Clicking on the message revealed that it wasn't a written message but an audio one. Shepard's finger hovered over the space bar as he contemplated hitting the play button. As nervous as he was about the message's content, he needed to know what Ashley said. He hit play and was greeted by Ashley's voice.

Shepard,

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. When I lost you two years ago, it tore me up. I prayed for you every day. I read a lot of Tennyson, thinking about you, just like I did when my dad passed. And then you came back, and it was like my prayers were answered. But I'm not who I was then, and neither are you.

I don't know what's true anymore. Part of me can't believe it's really you. I keep going back to that night before Ilos, our night... I haven't let myself think about those memories for more than a year now.

I wouldn't have expected you to work for Cerberus, but I know why they sent you to Horizon. I saw how many people were lost there, and if anyone can stop the Collectors, you can. I can't go where you're going, but I can wish you luck.

Just stay alive out there... Skipper. I don't know what the future holds, but I can't lose you a second time.

-Ash

Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.

Throughout the entire message, Shepard had been crying along with Ashley's voice. However, his tears were ones of relief and happiness. It sounded like Ashley was still wrestling with how to perceive what happened on Horizon but Shepard didn't mind. Considering what happened to him, he didn't expect her to understand it overnight. The important thing was that he could hear the genuine concern for him in her voice. Between her last few statements and the fact she used the same lines from Alfred Tennyson's "Ulysses" that she quoted during their night together before Ilos, it had renewed his hope that their relationship could be saved. After listening to the message a couple more times, he went back to the table where Kelly had placed Ashley's photo and picked it up. He looked at the picture for several seconds before he brought it to his chest like he was hugging it.

"I'll come back to you Ash," he silently said, "I promise. When this is over, we'll figure out what the future holds, together."

Suddenly it dawned on Shepard that he should be saying this in a message to Ashley rather than just think it. He went back to his terminal and was about to type a message when he noticed the clock at the bottom corner of the screen. His time with Kelly and the time he spent listening to Ashley's message took longer than he had thought. According to the time he was supposed to be in bed resting up for the first personal mission he was going to be on the next day. As much as he wanted to reply to Ashley's message right then, it was more important that he get his rest. The last thing he wanted was to break his promise to come back to Ashley because he made a mistake due to fatigue. With a renewed sense of purpose and dedication to the mission, Shepard climbed into bed and went to sleep.