Authors Notes: [a good song to listen to is either Snail's house/Ujico - Reversible Rainscape or Snail's house/Ujico - 想い出の場所 ]

So yes, progress. A friendship has nearly been made!

jisfdjojgoush can't contain my feelings for Karma being this way, he's so sweet without realising. AAAAA!
Nagisa shall be joining back to school in the next chapter and then back to the much-loved drama, kids.

I had a day off so I thought I'd update sooner rather than later. A little shorter than my previous chapters! Ahah.

I hope you enjoy this! I love to hear your feedback, it really reassures me that this is going well. As always love you all! OwO

Nagisa's POV

This is why I didn't like showers. They always hurt. At least showers made tears seem like they weren't tears as they were blended in with the shower drops. I was used to doing this whenever mother punished me… It was an easy escape to cover how I felt.

Why did this constantly keep happening? It never seemed to stop.
 I should probably end it with Asano soon… But to me, he feels like the one good thing in my life… But then Karma has offered more than my love has recently…

I felt conflicted and stood with my face up getting the water to hit my face to clear my thoughts away. I didn't want this to happen. Not right now.

Before Asano came to the house, I finally felt like I had a coping mechanism, I was harming myself so no one else had to. It could explain why the water was stinging.

I used my inner thigh to self-harm. I didn't want anyone else to see it. It was my own secret pain to let out the bad emotions. I needed this pain, I wanted to feel relieved from life, from my mother's grip, from my anxiety.

As I stood for what felt a while, I decided to clean my body and my damaged parts. My body was stained by bruises on my torso and my upper back from where my mother used to beat me. Luckily, I was prescripted a cream from the hospital appointments I've been to that should help them disappear.

They always did make me feel ugly.

I also washed my long hair, seemed it was getting much longer, half way down my back even. It needed a lot longer to be scrubbed and cleaned compared to usual. I suppose that's what I get for not caring about myself.

I did, however, bring my PJs into the bathroom with me so Karma couldn't see the mess my body was in. I didn't let anyone see it. Not even Asano knew. At school, I was even provided with a separate changing room for P.E.

I was ashamed and disgusted. I creamed my bruises in hope they'll disappear one day. I even managed to brush my teeth.

As I looked at myself in the mirror I realised the state I was in, no longer did I look apart of my act anymore. It seemed my body had taken a toll from these past events. I had bags underneath my eyes, my eyeballs were bloodshot, I looked almost dead and I was possibly losing more weight…

Fuck.

I had spent at least an hour in the bedroom and I was greeted by golden orbs that seemed somewhat relieved to see me clean and handling self-care better. I still didn't know what to say to his request, I just nodded at the redhead and took myself into my bedroom. The only thing I did differently was I didn't shut the door behind me.

I wasn't denying the request nor was I accepting it.
I felt emotionally drained again. I couldn't bear to think about it.

I saw the same eyes pop behind the door to look at me once more.

"Just don't lock it all day, that's all I ask for. Even if that's all you want to do for now" I watched Karma get up and gently talk to me. He went back downstairs to probably play video games again and I sighed.
Even if I didn't want to think, I couldn't stop thinking.

Neutral POV

Another week went by and the two barely spoke, Karma was obviously in school and sometimes Nagisa went out for counselling or to get some fresh air.
However the bluenette did keep his door open for the redhead, he didn't want to worry anyone else.

Occasionally he was greeted by the other's eyes and homework that was thrown into his room, occasionally Karma had written notes for him. Nagisa was surprised at how much the other took in during class. It was also easy and neat to read most of the time. He also realised it was always notes for the lessons he was struggling in the most, in like math.

On Thursday, he took Karma off guard. "Hey could... you... just please go through this part with me? It was from yesterday of what you gave me" Nagisa watched the boy scowl but, not at the request, but the going in his room… Was he even allowed?

The redhead was hesitant and knew the other wanted privacy at the best of times. "No, no it's okay. You can come in, you always could have…" The last few words were nearly a whisper, which shocked Karma to come in closer. Well at least the room had changed, Nagisa had managed to make it like a home.

Band posters covered his walls, there were origami birds hanging up, the art of portraits he was proud of and some collectables.

"Thank you for the invite, I didn't exactly want to be that rude" Instead of sitting on the bed, Karma sat on the floor not wanting to get kicked out immediately. As much as he wanted to question this situation or how Nagisa was feeling, he couldn't. Over this last week, he became distant but very observant over the kid.

The bluenette understood the manners of Karma quite well now, he definitely did have them depending on who he was talking to. He got off the bed and sat beside the other getting the books, the notes and the homework out, spreading it across the floor.

"So which part is it?"
Nagisa felt Karma's gaze directly on him and gulped at that feeling. He didn't want to come across as stupid and didn't admit fully. "Well, number 5 and number 6." Unfortunately, Karma saw through the plan and noticed how most of them were wrong and why.

"Oi, chibi. I see you don't get any of it, you can just say. I'll go through it all" He saw Nagisa wince in pain as if he was going to do something mean when he moved his hand to the homework. But instead of saying something awful about Asano, Karma had to shake it off. This was the closest anyone had been to Nagisa in a week. If anything, the progress made him feel thankful.

The taller boy started to explain the math questions for as long as the shorter boy needed. He was more than happy to try and help. Karma was gentle in how he taught Nagisa. Any small praises were sent a long way and the redhead found himself ruffling the blue locks to give him comfort.

They ended up spending an hour on the homework, but in the end, it made Nagisa shocked at how well he could actually conquer it. "Whoa, you're really good at explaining. I feel like I could do it myself now!" Nagisa started another extra question by himself and noticed how it took him no time at all. He smiled at Karma beside him and got a smile back.

It was then Karma decided he better leave, it's best to keep a distance than it was to be this close. It's not that it made him feel uncomfortable, but he was starting to enjoy Nagisa's company. Observing and protecting the kid was showing him a new side that he quite enjoyed.

"Well, I better g-" The redhead was about to say and realised how Nagisa didn't actually want him to leave. But rather he wanted someone to speak too. He could tell through how Nagisa hid his face by his blue bangs hiding and his hands were fidgeting to say something.

Nagisa's POV

Why did I even want his attention like this? Was I lonely?

I was returning to school next week. I wanted to tell Karma that. Or just maybe see how his day went?

I fidget, noticing how Karma did want to leave… I guess you would if you didn't like someone. I open my mouth hesitant to what I wanted to say. But I was reassured as Karma relaxed on my floor, getting into a comfier position.

"O-oh yeah, that's a thing… I'm going back to school next week, so you won't have to bring me notes anymore hah. That's probably a relief, right?" I joked, trying to see how Karma might be feeling. I could never see what he was thinking and if anything, I knew he was putting that gap between us on purpose.

"Well, it didn't bother me in the first place. I wanted to do it anyway, ya know? Otherwise, you'd be struggling worse when you return. I kind of knew Asano wouldn't do it anyway" I could tell he hid something when he mentioned Asano, he rarely spoke about the boy if he could help it. I scowled, wanting to dig further if I was able to. I sigh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" As much as I wished Karma could show emotion, he didn't. I couldn't even tell from his tone of voice he had his defences up. I leant closer to the boy to try and discover anything new.

"Well. That's just rumours about him and you splitting, or that he's gonna do it. I don't pay attention to rumours as ya know they aren't always true. I'm sorry if that shit puts you on edge" I could now see the concern in those golden orbs. Well, at least he was honest. And if anything, a week of being alone and speaking to multiple people, I could have told you we would break up.
It was unhealthy.

I had other means to deal with my pain. Despite it being dangerous.

"Tell me something I don't know" I was shot a strange look, I couldn't tell if Karma was shocked or relieved. And it left us in silence. I still was curious about the boys day though and continued to string the conversation on. He deserved kindness back to him.

"So how's school been to you?" I curiously asked. Though I knew the possible response, Karma was either bored, teasing kids, flirting with girls or being smart.
The kid was everything I wasn't.

"Boring. Same old, same old. Sometimes I wonder why I go, at least your notes were worth going in for" I think Karma only just realised what he said, his eyes dart quickly away from my vision. His face was coloured?

Notes just for me? Was Karma on planet 9? What was in that for him? I was confused and feeling myself become flustered.

Did he care?

I without thinking spoke "Just for me? U-um Karma-kun... " And I noticed how I wasn't going to get a response. I could tell he wanted to avoid it. I sigh and let the boy go if he wanted to.

"Shit that came out didn't it? I'm a good guy what can I say?" I noticed how Karma wanted to shrug it off like usual, he scratched the back of his head to avoid any awkwardness.

"Anyway, did you wanna play some video games?"