Why Don't You and I

"And you said 'yes,' did you not?" Ben asked putting his head into his hands.

"You forced me into saying that!" Miranda exclaimed. He shook his head. They were sitting in his freshmen dorm room talking with some friends before a floor party started.

"Yeah, okay." The people in the room laughed. Ben waved her off.

"So?" Someone asked. "Did you go together?"

"Yes," Ben said at the same time Miranda said: "No."

"We did go together, Miranda."

"But just until you and Steve had your fight and then—"

"Wait, they fought over you?"

Miranda shook her head. "That's what they tell people, but really it was their big, fat egos." She poked Ben in his head. He grabbed her finger and it bit it gingerly.

"So, wait, you two aren't together?" Ben and Miranda said that they weren't. "Never would have guessed."

"Party's starting!" Someone in the hall called out.

The college students filed out of the room. Two sets of three adjoining rooms started to fill up with rowdy college students. Miranda and Ben split up. She branched off to find something to drink, sending him to get snacks. Each room was packed and Miranda grooved to the music while she moved in and out the rooms. She found a clean cup and filled it up with whatever liquid was in the huge container on the dresser. "You didn't get me one?" He asked when they finally found each other again.

"We'll have to share. This was like the only cup that hadn't fallen on the floor.

"Cool." Miranda moved through the rooms, talking to several people. Ben followed, uninterested.

"What is your problem?" She asked. He didn't answer. The music boomed. "You haven't asked me to dance or bugged me for a sip of our drink."

"Nothing."

She knew he was lying, but she didn't want to get into an argument. This was college and they'd be together for the next four years, she didn't want start a petty ass fight—and definitely not at a floor party. "What kind of snacks do they have here?"

He chuckled. "Nothing good." A few seconds later, he asked: "Do you just want to go?"

"Yes." Ben touched her back and guided her out of the room. "Where do you want to go now?"

"I'll walk you back to your dorm."

"Um, sure. Or we can go and get something to eat. I'm starving," she laughed.

After leaving the store, they ended up back in Miranda's room talking. They sat at her desk eating. "Miranda?"

"Yeah?" She answered while putting some fries in her mouth.

"Nothing."

"Please stop doing that, Ben. Say what you have to—what you want to say," she challenged.

"Sorry."

"Now I'm worried. Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

"Why aren't we together?" He blurted out. Ben lowered his eyes and stared at her.

She swallowed and matched his gaze. "I don't know how many times we can talk about this."

"We belong together."

Miranda's heart fluttered. "You're almost in a relationship."

"With who?"

"Whom."

"Whatever, Miranda. That's not the point."

Miranda jerked her head out of the door. "Santana is crazy about you." The girl was relentless, always showing up unannounced and trying to worm her way into Ben's arms. "She's made it very clear."

"Yeah, she has." Miranda's heart fell. She was over love triangles. So many times she tried to reason with herself about why she and Ben couldn't be together. And she'd always come up with the same answer: she would rather crush on Ben forever than have their friendship torn apart. It wasn't worth it. Was it worth it? "And I don't care because I love you, Miranda." She gasped. That was the first time either of them had said they'd loved the other without the element of humor. He moved his chair, closing the gap between them.

"I love you," Miranda said standing up and walked toward the window. Ben followed. "That felt weird to say. You're my best friend, Ben."

He shook his head. "Don't do that. Don't use our friendship as a reason not to leap into something that could be so good."

"I'm not. We just got here, Ben. And I just got out of a, what, a, uh, five-year relationship," she laughed.

"He was not good enough for you."

She swallowed. "No, he wasn't," she admitted. She and Steve had been together for far longer they should have, but being with the boy was comforting. He was her childhood.

"And he cheated on you and I would never do that."

"He what? What are you talking about?"

"I saw him and Tessa making out the day before prom." Miranda scoffed. "That's why I punched him. That's why we fought," Ben confessed. "I'm sorry."

"How could you not tell me?" She said whipping around to face him. "How could you keep this from me?"

"Because of that—that look on your face. It's why I didn't say anything to you. I just…" Ben touched her shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Miranda."

"You should be."

"But I am so in love with you." He touched her face. "I want you to be happy."

"Ben, I…" He leaned in and kissed her. His lips touching hers shocked her system. Her hands found his waist and she held him close. They'd hugged before, but nothing like this. Nothing where she felt the need to never let him go. She'd imagined it so many times and each time it never seemed possible. Miranda felt the weight of his arms on her shoulders. He touched her hair and pulled it a little. The gesture ripped her from the kiss. "We can't. I am furious with you."

He smiled. "Okay, okay. I'm a bad, bad boy." She rolled her eyes and he tightened his grip on her, forcing her to look at him. Those eyes. The same ones that had aggravated her years ago were making her want to kiss him again and again. "But tell me you didn't feel it," he demanded.

"Feel what?"

"Us."