In spite of all the happiness that had happened in the med bay a few hours earlier, there were still two sad tasks Shepard needed to do. The first was having a heart to heart talk with Joker about what happened to EDI. Shepard knew going in that it was going to be difficult and he was right.
Despite being strong enough that he could have gone up to the bridge on his own, Shepard knew he needed to save his strength for later when he would have to do the second sad task. So he had Dr. Chakwas place him in a wheelchair and then take him up the elevator to the CIC deck. From there she wheeled him to the bridge where Joker was seated in his pilot's chair. The first thing Shepard noticed was the empty co-pilots seat next to Joker. His heart sank as he thought about all the times he would come up the bridge and see EDI sitting in that chair and find himself answering one of her many questions about human behavior. How he wished he could be doing that right now.
Dr. Chakwas positioned Shepard's wheelchair so that Joker could see Shepard at least through his peripheral vision. Shepard thanked her and asked for her to give him and Joker a minute. Chakwas nodded and closed the door behind her as she left the bridge. The little of Joker's face Shepard could see told him that even though Joker was piloting the ship, his focus was elsewhere. Shepard said Joker's name but he didn't get a reaction. Joker eyes were still focused on the controls. Shepard sighed. He knew that even if Joker wasn't talking to him, he could still hear him. So he explained everything that happened on the Citadel from when he met the Catalyst onward. When he got to the part where the Catalyst gave him the choice of how to use the Crucible, Joker finally turned towards Shepard.
"So," he said as a tear began to fall down his face, "you knew what the Crucible would do to EDI….but you fired it anyway?"
"I'm sorry Joker," said Shepard, "I didn't have…"
Before Shepard could finish, Joker hit a button to put the ship on autopilot, stood up from his chair and punched Shepard. The punch took Shepard by surprise but fortunately all the other injuries he sustained during the final battle made him able to tolerate the pain a little bit.
"YOU BASTARD!" Joker shouted loud enough that it caused Dr. Chakwas to rush onto the bridge, "how could you do that?! Is it because you didn't want to die yourself? You've been willing to die for your crew before. Hell you saved me when the original Normandy was destroyed despite the fact that it killed you. Oh I know it's because she's not organic. You went through all the trouble of convincing her that she could be human like the rest of us but when it came down to it, she was just a synthetic and whatever happened to her didn't matter. You know what, I'm done. Next port we reach, I'm getting off this ship. I don't care if it's mutiny, whatever gets me away from you."
Joker started to walk off the bridge. Fortunately for Shepard, Joker's Vrolik syndrome made it so he couldn't storm out really fast. This gave Shepard more time to talk as he followed Joker using his wheelchair.
"I didn't want to do it Joker," Shepard called out causing Joker to stop walking, "when I was given my options for how to use the Crucible, I was more than willing to die to keep EDI and the geth alive. But synthesis was not my choice to make and control had too many risks of me using the Reapers for evil. I didn't have a choice. Now I'm not asking you to forgive me for what happened to EDI. You loved her and it's not fair that you had to lose her. All I want is for you to at least understand why I did it."
Joker remained still for a few seconds after Shepard finished. Dr. Chakwas and Shepard were each anxiously holding their breaths as they waited for Joker to speak. Finally Joker turned to face Shepard and sighed.
"You're right Captain," he said, "I'm not happy that EDI's gone. But you had to make a tough choice and I know you picked the choice that you felt was morally right. I also know EDI would have approved of your choice. She wanted the Reapers destroyed as much as we did. Me wishing she was still alive is just me being selfish."
Joker walked up to Shepard and put a hand on his shoulder, "I forgive you."
Shepard smiled as Joker walked back to his seat. Before sitting back down, Joker turned to face Shepard again.
"By the way, congratulations on your engagement Shepard," he said.
"Thanks Joker." Shepard replied.
Shepard called Dr. Chakwas to come and help him leave the bridge. Before she had a chance to move him, Shepard noticed Joker had now settled into his chair and was saluting him. He saluted back. When they both dropped their salutes, Dr. Chakwas began wheeling Shepard back to the med bay.
The second sad thing Shepard needed to do was another thing he wasn't looking forward to. Now moving using his own strength, he had left the med bay and had gone up to his cabin. Inside he looked through his closet and pulled out his Alliance dress uniform. He had worn it twice since he had been reinstated back when the Reapers first invaded Earth. The first was during the war summit he hosted between the turians, salarians and krogan on the Normandy. While the meeting itself didn't go too smoothly, it was the first step that led to peace between the turians and krogan. He then wore it when he accompanied Ashley and her sister Sarah to the Citadel Memorial wall to mourn the loss of Sarah's husband. Shepard also knew that he would eventually be wearing this uniform when he married Ashley. Right now though, as with the previous two times, the occasion that called for him to wear the uniform was not a happy one.
Once Shepard had put his uniform on, he took a moment to look at his reflection. It was then he noticed the one thing that was different from the last time he wore his uniform. The uniform now had the markings of his new rank of Captain. He figured that Hackett must have had someone put them on while he was unconscious. Along with getting used to hearing people address him as Captain Shepard, he was now going to have to get used to the sight of seeing him in a captain's uniform whenever he looked in a mirror. Shepard's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking.
"It's open," he called.
The door opened and Ashley walked into the cabin. She was wearing her dress uniform as well.
"I just wanted to let you know that everybody's gathered at the Memorial Wall," she said, "we're ready when you are."
"Thanks Ash. I'll be down in a bit."
Ashley turned and was about to walk out the door when Shepard stopped her.
"Can I ask you something?" he said.
"What is it?" Ashley asked.
"Why is everyone doing this? I know that you already had a memorial for Anderson and EDI before you came and got me from the Citadel. How else could you already have plaques with their names on them made? I'm the only one that still needs to mourn them."
"We're doing it because no one should grieve alone. We want to be there for you and offer our support."
"Thanks Ash. That means a lot to me."
"You know we almost put your name on the wall too."
"What?"
Ashley invited Shepard to sit on the couch. As they sat down, Shepard could see Ashley wringing her hands. Whatever she was going to tell him was important.
"After the Crucible was fired, the Normandy got caught in its blast and lost power. That was also when we lost EDI. We had to make a rough landing on an uncharted world. Fortunately the ship wasn't severely damaged but it was still going to take about an hour to get it up and running again. Once we got the comm. working, we started getting reports that the Citadel was damaged. Considering the amount of energy the Crucible released, we didn't think you or Anderson could have survived. We put Anderson and EDI's names on the wall and it was time for me to put your name up. I walked up to the wall and just looked at your plaque for a second. During that time, I told myself I couldn't do it. Not because it was hard to do but because I really felt that you were still alive. Some of the crew thought I was just in denial but I knew. I knew you were alive because I knew you. You found your way back to me once and I knew you would again. So I told them we were taking the ship back to the Citadel and we were going to rescue you."
Shepard didn't say anything right away. Instead, he gave Ashley a kiss and then hugged her.
"Thank you," he finally said, "shall we?"
Ashley nodded. On their way out, Shepard grabbed Anderson's plaque and they headed down to the crew deck.
When Shepard got off the elevator, the sight of his entire crew gathered around the Memorial Wall greeted him. The wall held the names of the 26 Normandy crewmembers that had died during the ship's service before and during the Reaper War. Today two more names would be added. Shepard looked down at Anderson's plaque. He was trying his hardest to hold back the tears but was having a hard time doing it. If you looked at the faces of the rest of the crew, you would almost find it hard to believe that only a few hours ago they were happily celebrating an engagement.
Joker was the first to step forward. He placed EDI's plaque on the wall in its alphabetical position among the other names. When he was finished, he turned to face the crew.
"When I first met EDI, I was less than kind to her. I didn't like the idea of an AI being a part of the Normandy. After she helped me save the ship from the Collectors, I stopped thinking of her as a machine and began thinking of her as a person. As I got to know her, I realized we were alike in several ways. (sob) It wasn't long before we eventually fell in love with each other. I'm really going to miss her voice and hearing her jokes but I believe that a part of her still exists in the Normandy. Wherever you are now EDI, I promise you that I will take good care of the Normandy. (sniff) I love you."
As Joker tearfully rejoined the crew gathered around the wall, Shepard stepped forward with Anderson's plaque in hand. After looking at it for one more second, he placed it in the center spot on the wall. He took a step back from the wall and saluted. The crew did the same. When the salutes were dropped, Shepard turned to face the group. He took a breath and began the eulogy.
"We all know what kind of a man Admiral Anderson was. He was a leader, a comrade in arms, a mentor and friend. Some of us were here when he was the captain of the Normandy. It was a short tenure but even when he was no longer in command, he was still fighting the battle with us. When he was on the Citadel Council, he fought different types of battles and most of them didn't end in victory. In spite of that, he kept trying to do what he could to protect and serve the galaxy. I think the moment that best defines Anderson was when the Reaper War began. He could have left Earth and accompanied us to gather the fleet we needed to win the war but he chose to stay and lead the resistance forces. He knew where he was needed, even though it meant constant danger to his life. Because of his efforts, we succeeded in saving Earth and the galaxy as a whole. He may not be here physically with us anymore but I know that somewhere he's watching us and is proud of all of us for what we accomplished with him. Rest in peace Anderson. The battle is finally over and the galaxy is safe because of what you've done."
After the eulogy was finished, Shepard dismissed the crew. While the rest of the crew went back to their posts, Shepard remained at the wall just staring at Anderson and EDI's names. Ashley, who had stayed behind when everyone left, came up behind Shepard and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"That was a beautiful speech Mark," she said, "I know Anderson appreciates what you said about him."
Shepard turned around and hugged Ashley.
"There is one other great thing Anderson did you know." Ashley said.
"What?" Shepard asked.
"He was the one who got me assigned onto the Normandy after Eden Prime. If he hadn't, you and I might never have fallen in love."
Shepard smiled and Ashley smiled back. They kissed and then the couple entered the elevator to head up to Shepard's cabin.
MAKE A CHOICE:
First a little SPOILER WARNING. The events that will happen next take place after my other Mass Effect story "Mass Effect: After the War". If you haven't read the story already and would like to, STOP reading now and come back to this after you've finished. Now that we have that out of the way, it's time to make a choice.
1.) To see how the events proceed taking into account everything that happens in Mass Effect: After the War, simply hit the next chapter button. (My personal canon choice.)
2.) To see how the events proceed if the events of Mass Effect: After the War never happened, click on the chapter select button and skip ahead to chapter six.