So Not My Baby

"Mhello?" Ben said picking up the phone, groggily.

Miranda rolled against his back. She kissed it and felt him shudder. They'd fallen into bed, naked, with every intention of making love, but had failed. After foreplay, they'd dozed off. She smiled. "Who is it?" Ben didn't answer. The bed moved as he shook his head furiously. "Benjamin."

"Okay. We'll be right there," he put the phone on the receiver.

"Who was that?"

"Raven," he said getting out of bed. "C'mon."

"I'm gonna need more than 'Raven'," she said sitting up, worried.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Ben said pulling on sweatpants.

"I hope you're gonna put on some boxers," Miranda told him with a smile. "I don't want every woman seeing what's mine."

"Yours, huh?" He crawled onto the bed and kissed her, pulling the covers off her body, revealing her naked body. The early morning air chilled her body. He looked down at her as if deciding if leaving their room was worth going to wherever Raven was.

"Stop! Why was Raven calling?" She put the covers back over her body.

"She's going into labor," he told her casually.

Miranda jumped out of the bed. Her cousin was pregnant for the third time and was finally getting her little girl. "Where's Eddie? Which hospital? Where's EJ and Shakai?"

Ben touched her shoulders, trying to calm her down. He kissed her softly. "Eddie's out of town visiting his parents with the boys. And she's at Mercy Medical."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she called for you, Miranda. We gotta go."

At the hospital, they found Raven's room. "You guys made it!" Raven shouted.

"Of course," Miranda hugged her older cousin. The closest thing she had to a sibling, to a sister.

"I told you we would be," Ben said hugging her.

"Eddie's gone and I'm all alone."

"No, you're not," Miranda said to Raven. "You can yell at us like you would Eddie and I'll hold your hand." She picked up her cousin's hand just as a contraction came. Raven squeezed hard.

"Take my hand, too," Ben said grinning at his grimacing girlfriend across the laboring woman. Miranda laughed.

Raven's face showed her confusion: "This is funny to you?"

"No," Miranda responded, laughing harder. Ben started, too. Raven looked from one to the other, shocked.

"Miranda! Stop!" Ben said, falling into the chair next to the bed.

"I can't stop," Miranda responded, putting her hand on her stomach. She really couldn't. And every time she looked at Raven's bewildered face, she laughed louder. "Re-remember that time we went to that party and you left without your shoes?" She pointed at Raven.

The woman's face broke into a smile. "And I wasn't even drinking that night either." She chuckled. "How'd you let me leave without my shoes?" Miranda shrugged, tears coming from her eyes.

The doctor walked into the room. "Oh, good!" She said clapping. "You're laughing." She looked from Ben to Miranda. "I couldn't get Raven here to break a smile." Miranda smiled. "I'm Dr. Montgomery."

"Well," Raven said eyeing the doctor. "Nothing's funny about going into labor when you're home alone."

"Aye! What about when we convinced Miranda that she could operate the TV by touching it?" Ben said talking out the corner of his mouth.

"Assholes. Excuse my language," Miranda said apologizing to the doctor.

The redheaded doctor waved her off. "How'd you guys manage that?" She asked curiously. She put a pair of gloves on her pale hands. "I'm just going to do an exam right now."

"Well," Raven started. "We told her she could change the channel and volume by pressing certain parts of the screen. Obviously, she thought we were lying. Then she touched the screen, jokingly, and I would use the remote to change the channel."

Miranda rolled her eyes as Ben continued: "And you should have seen her face! She just couldn't believe it. And she kept touching the screen, 'turning up the volume' and 'going 'On Demand''." He looked over at Miranda who'd finally stopped laughing. "It was hilarious." Raven's pain abandoned her as she howled with laughter.

"What happened when you found that they were playing you?" Dr. Montgomery asked, touching Raven's stomach.

"I didn't talk to these two fools for like a week," Miranda said. Everyone laughed.

"Okay, Raven. Everything looks good. Can I talk to your…"

"Cousins," Raven finished.

"Yes, your cousins for a second?"

"Sure! And can I have some ice chips?" Raven asked.

"All you have to do is touch your stomach to get them," Miranda said walking out of the door.

"So, while I'm sorry that Eddie's not here, I'm glad you two are. Keep her laughing. It's good for labor. Makes it more, um, pleasurable," Dr. Montgomery told them with a slight chuckle.

"More pleasurable than a baby ejecting itself from her body?" Miranda asked. Ben shook his head and laughed.

"Maybe that's not the right word," Dr. Montgomery said with a laugh of her own.

"Is there anything else we can do?" Ben asked. He put his arm around Miranda.

"Just be there for her, support her and don't piss her off." They nodded.

"Thank you, doctor," Miranda said. Dr. Montgomery smiled and walked away.

"Ejecting?" Ben scrunched up his face. "That was one visual I did not need," he told her. Miranda shrugged.

In the delivery room, the doctor was shouting over Raven's groans: "Okay, Raven, maybe two little pushes, okay?" She dipped her head between the woman's legs. "Or one big one! C'mon! You got this!"

"I want Eddie," Raven whined, she was sweating profusely, her head lolling. "He's supposed to be here. Did someone call him? Is he coming?"

Miranda looked at Ben and down to Raven. "Yes, we called him. He is on his way. And he can't wait to meet his daughter."

"C'mon, Raven," Ben said holding her hand tightly.

"Now, push, Raven!" Dr. Montgomery said.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Raven said giving everything she had. She lay back, exhausted. "OH GOD!"

"That's it! That's it!" The doctor exclaimed. "Well done! Well done, mom! Here she is!"

"She's here?" Raven said.

Miranda felt tears in her eyes, mixing with her own sweat. She looked down at her newest cousin. "You were perfect. She's perfect, Raven."

"She is so beautiful, Raven. So beautiful." He kissed Raven on the head as the tears streamed down the mother's face, unabashedly. He looked at Miranda and he mouthed: I love you. She winked at him and turned her attention back to Raven and the baby.

Back in Raven's room, Miranda leaned against a sleeping Ben. She was so tired and tried to close her eyes, but she was too excited. "Mandy?" Raven said.

Miranda popped up. "Yeah?"

"Is Eddie here yet?"

"No, not yet. I'll call him again if you want."

"Please?" Raven asked. Miranda left the room and when she returned, Raven waved her over: "Mandy."

Miranda moved to Raven's bedside. "What's up?"

"I want to run something by you."

"Okay."

"I want you to be Ariana's godmother."

Miranda smiled widely. "Seriously?" She put her hands to her mouth. "Are you serious? Or are you still out of it and talking out of your head."

"I'm functionally fully and this is what I want. Eddie and I have already talked about it. I could have made you EJ's godparent, but Uncle Will and Auntie Lena are my rocks." Miranda nodded. "And Eddie chose for Shakai, but we both picked you for Ariana. We know she'll be in good hands with you. Plus, you've been here all night and you let me squeeze your hands into oblivion."

The younger woman started to tear up. "I accept! Yes!" She shouted, hugging her cousin.

"Thank you," Raven replied with tears in her own eyes.

"For what?" Ben said waking up.

"I'm going to be Ariana's godmother," Miranda gushed.

"Oh, cool, baby," Ben told her walking up beside her. "Congratulations."

"Why thank you," she said taking his hand.

He squeezed her hips, making her grin. It was the small gestures that turned her on the most. "You'll be great," he whispered in her ear.

"She's going to be amazing," Raven echoed.

"And when we get married, she'll become your goddaughter, too." The cousins shared a look and cracked up as Ben started to lose the color in his face.

"Alright now, y'all two go somewhere. I need some rest," Raven said shooing them away. The three of them laughed again.

"So, uh, what are we laughing about?" Eddie said bursting in the room.

"Baby!" Raven cried. "Eddie! God! I had her already and you weren't even here."

"I know. I know, but I saw her. And she is gorgeous, just like her mother," Eddie smoothed Raven's head and kissed her. He turned to the other two in the room. "Thank you guys for being here. It means so much to us." They said it was no problem. "Randy, did my wife tell you about what we were thinking?"

"Yes! She just told me," Miranda squealed. "I'm honored."

He hugged her. "Thanks so much."

"Wait, where are my sons?"

"Oh, they're sleeping just outside."

"How are your parents?"

"Fine. They'll be here next week." Raven and Eddie shared another tearful kiss and Miranda and Ben slinked out of the room to give them more privacy.

In the hallway, Ben held Miranda's hand, their palms touching. He stopped walking. "What?" She said staring at him.

"You know when you give birth to our children, I will be there."

She smiled. "You'd better, you weirdo. Although you turned the color of these walls when I mentioned marriage before," she said.

"Only for a second," he countered with a smile. "But, uh, you know, I'll be holding your hand and wiping your head and driving you crazy as I try to comfort you although I'm sure that nothing will work."

She stood on her toes to kiss him again. She paused before putting her lips on him. "Wait… so we're having kids?" She pushed him and he grabbed her hands and pulled her into his chest. A soft kiss turned into a short and fiery one.

They stopped kissing and Ben put one arm around Miranda's neck and she put an arm around his waist as they walked to the vending machine. "Sure thing. With our looks and intelligence, we'd be selfish to deprive the world of our kids, wouldn't we?"