Author's Notes: Sorry about the long delay and how short it is, I wanted it to be a hellishly punchy chapter about Nagisa realising what he felt.

Next chpt will involve Nagisa/Asano and Karma/mysterious girl, they'll probably bump into each other. Which is gonna be painful for both of them.

Any ideas on what the plan should be from Asano for Nagisa? Idk, I was gonna make it so Asano masks the danger and doesn't tell him, he plays pretend until he doesn't get what he wants.
And Nagisa goes along with it- as long as he has someone he doesn't mind what they do ;w;

Hope you all enjoy regardless! As always love you all, and thank you for sticking with this still! :)

The following Friday:

A few days passed since their incident on the couch and it felt like it happened months ago by how the two became distant. Well, it wasn't they, it was Karma. Nagisa had noticed a change in Karma, he'd only spend time with him at dinner, no longer did Karma acknowledge Nagisa's presence at school or in their home. He'd much rather spend the time on video games or out of their home.

It made him wonder why, it didn't feel right. But he wasn't going to confront him again, last time he tried that it went tits up. So here he was, curiously following him around at lunch. Something was different, Karma wasn't isolating himself on his roof. He was actually interacting with people, especially girls…It confused him, Nagisa knew how Karma felt about people. He didn't like them or have time for them. So why would he be forcing himself to be social if he didn't like to? He hid behind a wall out of sight silently as he overheard their conversation.

"So about that date, are you free tomorrow?" Karma spoke, but it sounded genuine… It sounded like he actually meant it. He wasn't doing it for information or minacious reasons. Karma even had a sheepish laugh afterwards.

It was the laugh that made Nagisa's stomach drop. It felt like the past when Asano flirted with other girls. Karma never showed this to anyone… Nagisa was the first and it made him feel grateful. His brow furrowed, sweat collecting on his forehead.
The anxious feeling surrounded his stomach, it frustrated him… Why would he be feeling this way? Why was he so concerned about Karma? Nagisa knew what they gained weren't anything special, it was just a friendship… right?

It was something that could be easily thrown away by Karma like it was nothing.

As the darkness began to cloud his mind, he heard the girl respond. It was timid and quiet. "W-well yeah, anything for you Karma" Though he couldn't recognise who it was, it did confirm Karma had found himself a girlfriend… They weren't using formalities on the ends of their names... It's someone to replace him with...

He hid his face with his shaken hands as he felt so stupid for feeling this way. He had no right to, Karma could do what he wanted... Nagisa heard the voices become fainter as the two walked away together, their footsteps mimicking his heart beat that became faster. It hurt. As much as he wanted to try and deny it, it hurt more than he liked.

The emotions that took over his mind had turned into throbs of pain in his heart. Nagisa knew he couldn't stop this and he wouldn't. He'd watch on the sidelines with a smile, something he was used to. He felt like he was back to square one, the odd kid with one friend in the entire school.

"Fuck" he cursed, it wasn't fair. He fell further down the wall so his knees could press into his chest and his head was hidden among them. Why was it all becoming complex? Didn't I want him to be distant rather than close? His fists punched the ground at those frustrated thoughts.

But it wasn't just Nagisa spying on someone, it was also a classmate that had beaten him up. The classmate realised the distance between Karma and Nagisa giving him an idea. He reported the situation back to Asano, who was more than delighted in his own sick twisted way. A smirk curled onto his lips, viciously he began to rake a plan from his brain that Nagisa wouldn't be able to refuse.

Asano was still obsessed with Nagisa, in all the wrong ways. His love had curdled into adoring Nagisa to be hurt. He wanted to desperately break him, love him and then send him spiralling down again.

Nagisa spent the rest of the periods as if he was blank, he didn't pay attention to work the work or the teachers. Luckily they were classes without Karma. As the teacher spoke about history, Nagisa sat continuously gazed out the window.

Ironic, the school blossom tree began reminding him of himself. Everyone paid attention to the tree when it was full of life, displaying different hues of pink and purples. But now, when the season's change and the flowers fall off, it becomes bare. It's like everyone had forgotten what they admired and it's ugly again. There's always something to replace what you were looking at like the sky and hundreds of clouds.

He sighed, his hand resting underneath his chin. Is that what he was to Karma? A bare tree that had lost its colour as if Karma had seen everything and he didn't want it anymore. Was that it? As the day had passed, the pain had become temporary and he found himself numb. Like the colour and spark in his eye was lost.

Wasn't this what he wanted? To either be distant or together? Despite how he felt that before, Nagisa didn't want to be left by himself. He didn't want to be the tree that was forgotten, he wanted the sweetness from Karma that made him feel alive.

He began drawing again, trying to find a way to understand what he couldn't explain. It was another technique his counsellor had mentioned, Nagisa was passionate about art and loved to express himself through it.

So his other hand was doodling in the back of his history book, a mixture of the tree and pretty girls… The more he looked, the more he realised they were pretty girls he wasn't…
If I was, would that be what Karma preferred? Would it be easier for my mother if I was? Thoughts kept crossing his mind about Karma referring back to his mother, making his brow scowl.

Preferred? Why the fuck do I care about his preference? His gut tumbled over with jealousy, even the drawings made him feel that way. His hand that rested underneath his chin went to scratch his wrists, in comfort. It was a habit now to try and calm himself, Nagisa found the pain pulled him out of his anxiety.

Clenching his eyes shut, Nagisa knew what this feeling was and why... He probably knew all along. The idea made him realise what those unknown thoughts and feelings were… Why he liked being close to Karma, why he spied, why their cuddles became natural, why the pain was jealousy… It all suddenly made sense.

Karma had become a crush of his…

Nagisa felt irritated again, it wouldn't work. It was just ridiculous, to begin with. His nails dug more into his pasty flesh, drawing blood. The pain made him shake, he needed more to get rid of these emotions. He bit his lip to disguise how much the anxiety tore over him.

But that one heartfelt image of them cuddling kept bouncing back to his imagination. How natural and caring it was. How homely Karma felt. It reminded him of when he first started dating Asano and how perfect it became to him. The image had stopped him from making the cuts worse.

The teacher passed by him at the right time with some homework as he mentioned "Class is finished in ten minutes. If you have any questions about the homework, please say now and we can go through it. Otherwise, you're dismissed early" Nagisa didn't even look at the homework, as he quickly hid his bloody wrist. He forced the work in his bag with all his supplies.

Continuously he grimaced at the thought of liking Karma. His face hidden with his bangs. As frustrated as Nagisa felt, the thoughts were pricking at his eyes, nearly forcing him into tears.

But he was caught by a classmate around his wrist before he had a chance to leave. Nagisa flinched at the pain, as the grasp was rough. More blood would drip down his arm if he wasn't quick... Someone would see... He tried to pull it away from him, desperate to not let the secret out. But unfortunately, this student was probably a part of the rugby team, he was strong.

He gulped, keeping his mouth shut to not let anyone know he was in pain. This boy's presence was daunting on him, it felt like they were the only two in the room. His feet shook in his shoes as he gave up on trying to struggle. It wasn't someone Nagisa knew either, the student seemed older. He had to choke back what he felt, disguising it with a smile. Nagisa tried to look up at the student, but he couldn't see as his vision was still blurry from the tears.

"Asano would like to speak to you on Saturday in the afternoon, nothing serious. So don't threat, he'll text you with more details" The gruff voice responded to him, but the smaller boy could barely respond. He nodded at him in agreement and as soon as the grip was loosened, he left as quickly as he could.

Thankful that the teacher had let them go early because then he could beat Karma back. On the way home, Nagisa tried his hardest to focus on how he'd grab food and stay in his room. The tears began to pool out of his eyes and down his cheeks from frustration. He bit his lip to mask the sobs that tried to wobble out. It hurt again.