Authors Notes: Aye, I did it. I dunno how, but hey. Here's an update! I tried my hardest, so pls excuse small mistakes.

Awkward tension is bad. Weh. ;w; I don't know who I feel sorrier for Nagisa or Karma, they're both in shitty situations!
I think I'm angrier at Karma tho, fo not having a clue what that feeling is. *bashes their heads together* Poor babies, and it's gonna get worse. SO much worse.

Be prepared for them bumping into each other next chapter! ;3;

As always, thank you for the support! I appreciate it. I love all the comments and seeing kudos. c:

Saturday Afternoon:

Nagisa was quiet as a mouse Friday night and Saturday morning, the only person that echoed in the house was Karma and his loud music. He pretended not to be there by having his headphones in. Nagisa had realised he had habits from liking Karma, he used to listen to the boy sing. Karma had a really nice singing voice. Even if they didn't speak for days, at least he was able to listen to him in the background.

But his decision on Friday night was to pretend until he made it, force the emotions back and learn to cope. He thought by doing those things, the feelings may disappear and he'd forget what he felt for Karma. It was unfair to try and make Karma understand. It was unfair to force it upon him, Nagisa knew and respected Karma's decision to shut his feelings off.
He barely knew him or his past, how the hell could he try and understand someone who obviously didn't want you to?

He stayed in his room until he heard the front door go. Karma was obviously going on that date of his, it made Nagisa sigh. A small grasp of jealous knotted in his heart, he punched his chest in response. That was the last thing he needed today.

He unplugged his headphones to play his own music out loud. He had to get ready for whatever Asano wanted. The bluenette even took the time and effort to look relatively nice. Maybe it was in hope that he wasn't going to get beaten up. Maybe it was to impress someone who used to love him, he, unfortunately, craved human contact regardless of what or who it was. He did try to get in touch with his best friend outside of school hours, but he had his own family problems to deal with. Once again, Nagisa respected that and didn't want to invade his life too much.

He didn't take long to get ready, he chose a baby blue plaid shirt with a black woolly jumper to go on top. It didn't look nice enough outside to wear his usual clothing. A necklace with his birth crystal around his neck, it was the nicest thing his mother had brought him. Baggy dark blue jeans with boots, considering he'd have to plough through the mud on the school field. His winter coat, fur lined and black to protect his fragile body from winter.

He glanced in the mirror, quick to tie his hair up into a rough ponytail. Different, but nice. Nagisa thought with a smile, he tapped his cheeks to remind himself not to feel the awkward tension from meeting Asano. Though he didn't want to look for long, he hated the person that watched back, it just reminded him how unloved he could be and why. Quick to pull away, he took himself out the house as quick as Karma did.

Nagisa walked to the field in silence, the icy wind pounding down against his chest as if it would blow him over. It crashed into his ear drums, deafening him. His breath escaped his lips, he was a lot warmer than the wind that pulled the trees to and fro. Leaves and old blossom flowers fluttering past his vision occasionally. It wasn't a nice day, almost like it could rain. How fitting, the bluenette thought. Despite it being the afternoon, it was draining and dark from the clouds that filled the skies.

He was glad he chose warm clothes, otherwise, last night's incident would have been stinging from pain. Trekking his boots through the now sloppy mud on the field, the noise added to the wind that filled his ears. He scowled as his nose wrinkled at the smell, it made him cringe. Gross, seemed the school was keeping up with maintenance, Nagisa thought. Manure had been spread across their field considering it was the weekend. He held his furred lined collar over his mouth keep himself warmer and to ignore the aroma.

The texts he'd received were vague, but he knew Asano would be hidden behind the bins. They weren't exactly stupid, anyone with a brain knew where the school cameras were. The upside of the situation was if it did rain, it'd ruin Karma's stupid date, Nagisa even ended up smiling at that thought. By having thoughts about other things it made him feel less anxious to what Asano wanted.

To him, getting beaten up wasn't such a bad thing… Maybe by having his lights punched out, it would make him forget about Karma and the shitty image from the couch. Maybe it would be just a shitty nightmare and he was still with Asano if he hadn't changed, maybe he wouldn't have been in this mess… His mind made the negative change into something positive, something healthy... Crystal blue peered up at the death lingering sky, it reminded him of the hole that was left in his heart.

Nagisa let a deep breath out, his body became drained from the mud. He didn't mind walking, but this was becoming a strain. He was mentally and psychically feeling exhausted from the last few days. Finally, his feet were back on concrete as he turned the last corner. The chill had disappeared as the school building hung over him and the two in the distance. His body shuddered from the sudden change of temperature, feet sticky from the mud. Almost like they would stick to the concrete.

It was his ex-love in the distance who had his jacket hood up from the weather. He could tell by how luminous those lavender hues were from the darkness that shadowed over his face. Since they were sheltered from the brute of wind, it was easier to hear. Nagisa couldn't hear anyone else, seemed like a good thing… Maybe it wouldn't be similar to before. As he drew closer, the two also shortened their distance quickly. With a deep breath, he braced what was going to be said. Eyes kept to the floor until they stood face to face.

Nagisa tried to have a similar stance as Asano's. Asano was full of confidence, his shoulders and back straight to stand tall, eyes expressionless looking down at his. Intimidatingly he watched lavender examine him up and down, pleased with what he saw. Nagisa could tell by the small curl at the ends of his lips. He let go of a breath that he didn't know he held, the tension was unbearable. He also tried to look at him similarly, Nagisa noticed the new clothes. He always had new clothes and money to spare.

No doubt his gut instinct was full of nerves, they hadn't seen each other properly in a while. Nagisa even made the effort to avoid him at school, if he could. As the silence drew on his stance became hunched, wishing he could huddle in a ball until it was over. Hands twiddled with his fingernails.

But before he thought any further, the voice that came out of Asano alerted him that they were here for a reason. It sent a sudden jump down his spine and he tore his attention back into those hues.

"So my attention calls me, that you've been lonely. Why don't we take this chance to hang out?" It was like a contract Asano bid. Nagisa could run again, but his body couldn't and wouldn't. He decided to not to pay attention to threat, he forced it to the back of his mind. Nothing he wasn't used to. His feet shook in his shoes. Unfortunately, Nagisa wanted this to work, he needed it... He needed someone else. So he played dumb to it and made it sound genuine. His ponytail bounced as he nodded.

A laugh tumbled out of Asano's lips which broke their tension from earlier when their eyes first met. Lavender closed from him being delighted, his cheekbones lifted from the smile. If it was forced, it would have been creepy. But Nagisa knew it wasn't, Asano always hid his real laugh with his mouth sheepishly. Would it really be for the worse?

Would it really be for the worse? He thought, his body relaxed as he remembered what he'd forgotten about Asano. That smile and laugh appeared in all his memories, it made the pain go away... It made the tension of the situation disappear and he ended up smiling back at Asano.

"Splendid, I hoped I didn't have to stay away for much longer… Or force it. Let's go into town then, I hate mud. As you know"

It was an endless cycle of codependency that Nagisa was chained into. As much as he knew this was the wrong thing to do, he couldn't stop it. He used to have Karma to protect him, but now without him, everything could go backwards. Nagisa needed just one person to care, then he'd feel loved and safe. It would replace Karma. Despite this being unhealthy, it was learnt behaviour from his mother.

"Sounds good" He replied, with the same amount of enthusiasm.

Karma's 'date' more like distraction couldn't have gone any better so far. They were in an arcade in town, he knew how to impress ladies. He'd occasionally come here alone just to woo a crowd, purely for the laugh. Girls were stupid in that sense, they'd fall for anything. Karma could slightly see Manami Okuda in the same way, but not. She actually had the brains to go with her personality, they were able to have a decent conversation about their favourite subjects. They had interesting talks about philosophy, science, maths and theories behind their favourite ideas, they actually shared the same books. Karma never thought he'd actually find someone around his age to care about that type of thing. He was forced as a child to read intelligently by his father, but then as he grew older the hobby became a secret.

Karma propped his arms on the dance machine bars so he could lean back. The metal was cool against his heated body. She'd nearly beaten him at dancing, his cheeks were rosy and his chest pounced at the exercise.
Fuck, not cool. Karma thought. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, as his brow twitched. It annoyed him. By being out of shape, it managed to knock on his confidence. His looks to him were his main charm, he scowled he hated it. He opened the can of coke with a pop, some bubbles escaped before he gulped some back. The fizziness exploded in his mouth, he'd forgotten the way it tanged your teeth from drinking too quickly. He cringed from that feeling, pulling the cold beverage from his lips.

Since he was minding his own business to get his composure back, he'd left her for a moment. He was usually alone in these places, so it was no wonder he didn't realise.
Until he heard a squeal, a deafening one at that. Karma wiggled the inside of his eardrum. That was the worse noise to him. It felt like a headache in the way it echoed in his skull. He tched in response, assuming he probably should go tend to that. Quick to get off the machine, he paced over to the grabby machines, his strides showed his confidence.

Karma was easily able to find her since they were the only two here, due to the weather. But he knew he had to hide the annoyance... He replaced it with a smirk that was a little too forced. He could feel the ends of his lips twitching.
Why did she have to remind him of them? Though as much as it annoyed him, Karma soon realised Manami wasn't as confident as she seemed. He could tell through the frustration that took over her, that she hated defeat and it would affect her later. It wavered in her posture which made her seem a little nervous.

It reminded him of Nagisa in a way… Wait, no. Fuck that shit. The redhead cursed to himself, he bit his lip. No way in hell did he need him in his mind right now, anything but that…

By being frustrated, another noise rang through his ears, at this rate he felt like he would have a headache. He knew he had to stop it, it was annoying as fuck.

"I'll be able to, trust me" although she annoyed him to some extent, he continued to lower his voice to get her out of it. No doubt, it worked, why wouldn't it work? It was Karma, the devil. He leant closer, half propped on the machine with his left hand on the glass with his beverage and other around the joystick. He leant onto her slightly and it had her blush.

They were never this close. Not like this anyway. The black haired girl wondered if Karma even thought of her that way, he so hard to decipher.

"Are you sure you can do it? I thought they were rigged" She mentioned, her head fell onto his shoulder to watch and be closer. Her voice was a little too quiet as she didn't want to interrupt him. Manami could see Karma's face closer from the reflection in the glass... She realised how soft his look was. It was an intimate change compared to what he usually showed. She expected the usual chuckle or the cheekiness or charms he gave her, but he did none of those things.

Whatever crossed his mind made him relax, his features softened and he actually smiled. She wondered why or what it was, but realistically she couldn't get herself close enough that he'd tell.

The machine, unfortunately, put Nagisa back into Karma's mind, as much as she could be a distraction, this one teddy kept his eye. The teddy was baby blue, extremely fluffy compared to its size. With these huge eyes, pupils filled with hearts.

Calm and steady, get the pink one first. Karma thought, he took deep breaths to calm himself as the claw grabbed hold of the teddy. These games were rigged, but as long as you were calm and knew the secret how to knock the teddy in, you could win. The claw tumbled into the plastic that surrounded the exit, forcing the teddy out. The machine made a noise exclaiming how he'd won, but Karma forced more money inside.

His grip became shaky on the joystick, the noise of the fizzy in his hand clicked. At first, it was a thought... It then tumbled into an image of Nagisa who held the bear and now frantically his imagination had him in sweats. Repeatedly, he missed the exit. The more times he lost, the more the can of coke became crunched and leaky in his grip. The fizz burst down his arm before he threw the empty drink on the floor in frustration. He used both hands, unable to show off or care about the girl who watched. The machine kept moving all the blue teddies closer but never winning them.

The imagery of Nagisa clouded his mind in doubt and no longer was he able to be precise. The pressure on the buttons gradually became rougher from the annoyance that grew in his mind.

"Aw' Karma, it's adorable!" Manami said, excitedly. Her voice boomed in the empty arcade to show grateful she felt. But Karma paid no attention to this, his hand ended up very tense around the joystick. If he held it any tighter, he'd probably come out in blisters. He couldn't act calm, he couldn't just win again. It was for Nagisa. It was for that fucker that toyed with his fucking mind. He tried to bite his lip to hold back and loosen his anger. If he was alone, the machine may or may not have been smashed in by now.

Nagisa was like a chaos bomb that was jammed in his brain and forced him into overdrive or in pain. He could never tell which. The repulsive feeling made him feel like the bomb would go off, but it never did. It never told him what these feelings were. It let in toxins which forced him to feel. He couldn't ever think straight with Nagisa in his mind, that's why he wanted to get rid of him. If he couldn't fathom the answer, it made his brain go haywire.

Nagisa was the only one that could and did attack his emotions.

Karma ended up spending a lot more on Nagisa than hers, his hands ended up punching the drop and forward buttons. It left Manami stood there, she felt uneasy. But she never said a word, she couldn't. She had taken a step back as everyone knew this anger from Karma. Everyone knew how scary he could be, but she never let him scare her. She didn't want to be, she barely knew Karma... She knew there must have been something hidden that he didn't want to let go or say.

Regardless, the black haired girl gulped at the pressure that Karma surrounded around the two, almost like that were in a pit of darkness and there was no flashlight to save them… He was so unpredictable… What should she do?
There was no way to understand Karma's mind...

She couldn't control this for him, no one could.

Karma let out a sigh of relief as he managed to win one, the roar of the machine bounced from the noisy arcade walls. It filled his mind with the celebration music, the idea of Nagisa being excited from the teddy filled his mind. He didn't turn around yet, he couldn't. Karma watched his reflection, how his breath clouding the glass and how his lip was bloody from the pressure. The uncontrollable shake of anger continued from his toes and into his hands.

He had quickly calm himself. It rationally raced through his mind back to who he was with. Karma quickly deep breathed to let the rush of emotions fade away. It was now or never, let it fucking go. He cursed to himself, his fist smashed onto the control panel in front of him to let something out.

"Didn't know you liked teddies so much" The black-haired girl barely managed to speak, luckily she was able to shake the nervous lump in her throat so she didn't sound shaken up. She twirled her plaits with her fingers, nervously. She continued to watch for a few minutes longer before Karma drop down onto the floor to grab the two teddies out of the grabby machine. He turned around, with an instant it was like he was back to normal.

It was dangerous… She knew that now...
No one should be able to just drop it instantly like that…. Not when you were so angry. This is why everyone stays away… Manami's stomach knotted at those thoughts. But she continued to smile, her brows wavered. She wasn't used to pretending, she was usually straightforward.

The toy was handed to her, the tension remaining between the two. They both knew it was there, they were both nervous… She watched Karma sheepishly wipe his brow from the sweat that collected. His body stiff to hide the frustration.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I? They're adorable, I thought it'd be nice to have matching ones" Karma tried to grin and add joy to the tone of his voice. The wrong fucking move, Karma. Wrong fucking move. You've lost your cool. Karma thought to himself, he quickly snaked his phone out of his pocket to glance at the time. Thankful, they'd only have an hour left together and from this, he knew he wouldn't be asking her out again. No one needed to know about this, no one should see this. It was disgusting. His scowl wasn't disguised, as his mind continued to taunt him. It was painful.

"And look at the time, seems we could go look in one mall. I'd like to check and see if one of the new games is out yet if you don't mind?" Karma didn't really want to look at her anymore, he felt ashamed to be seen this way in front of someone. Eyes kept darting to ground. He'd lost everything in front of her, he could barely hold the smirk. Karma's defences felt like they were broken. Even though he knew this wasn't a date and knew this was just a distraction, he felt utter disgust at himself. Why the fuck did he let one boy make him like this? Why did he show it?
It wasn't going to work, was it?

Not with someone like her.