AN: So, I forced myself to wait a week to update . . . That was unbelievably hard for me. I can't wait to share more of this story with you, so I'm super excited to get another chapter out and hear your guys' thoughts.

Luke could still hardly believe that, over the course of their trip to Bespin, Han and Leia had become close enough that Leia was now pregnant with their child. As much as it surprised him, though, this didn't bother him as much as even he might have expected it to. After her confession, Leia had told him some of what had happened between her and Han. Luke was just glad that the two had finally figured out what it was that had really been brewing between them for the last three years. They both deserved each other and Luke was glad they had each other. Until now when Leia quite possibly needed him more than she ever had.

Once she had finished telling him everything she wanted to, Leia had burst into another round of tears and Luke had just held her, insisting that she didn't need to speak of any of it anymore. She just needed his support and Luke was more than willing to give it.

In his own solitude, Luke had been pitying himself, his mind stuck on his battle with Vader, his brush with the dark side, and the machine-of-a-man's claim that Obi-Wan had lied to him in saying that his father was dead. Because Vader was his father.

But Leia had her own injuries that were festering and needed more time to heal. She had her own scars that had been ripped open anew. Luke shoved his own weariness aside to help his best friend with her pain.

Eventually, her cries quieted, but her shoulders never ceased their shaking. She trembled in his arms, but seemed to calm herself somewhat. Luke didn't expect her to actually relax. He would be a little worried if she did. For nearly half an hour after Leia flatout told him that she was pregnant, they didn't even talk about it. They just talked about Han and Bespin. Luke was fine with leaving the cause of her worries alone, but she was the one who seemed to push talking about it when she did. It was sudden when she pushed herself off of Luke's side, sat up, and looked at him, her eyes wide and bright. "I don't think I can be a mother.

Luke blinked, startled. "What?"

She sighed, falling back onto her bed. The blankets made a slight noise as the air escaped from beneath them. "Luke, how am I supposed to do this?" She glanced at him, but was surprised by the look in his eyes, so her gaze remained there. "What?"

Luke shrugged, trying to dismiss his thoughts, but Leia insisted. "I just thought- your response was . . . not what I expected."

"My response?" Luke nodded. "What I just said?" Again, Luke nodded, elaborating, "You asked me how you're going to do this. Not what."

"'What' what?"

Luke chuckled at her repetivity. "'What' stands for, in this case, what you are going to do now that you know you're pregnant. But you didn't ask 'what'; you asked 'how'. How are you going to do this. I bet most women in your situation don't think about it like that."

"Oh." Leia shrugged slightly, her gaze and hands all dropping to her flat abdomen. There was a hint of wonder glimmering in her eyes and it was inevitable that Luke smiled at the simple scene. With one hand, Leia stroked her abdomen and the wonder grew a little more. "Well, I only have myself to blame for this."

"And Han," Luke added, drawing a grin from Leia.

"And Han," she agreed. "Maybe this was far from anything I was expecting to ever find out, but it happened and that's my responsibility to deal with it. . . . Plus, this is a piece of Han I should feel blessed to be having. A bit of Han that I might need to get through this." Leia's gaze met Luke's again and her smile was soft, but bright and radiant. "I'll be okay. I'll have to be because I've got this little one to watch out for."

He nodded, his gaze stuck on the hand of Leia's that caressed her flat stomach. "You're right, I think. A bit of Han."

Luke couldn't understand how Leia had so suddenly and quickly reached a level of peace with her new revelation. She had seemed so frightened and scattered and broken, all of which Luke had completely expected. By now, though, she was handling it with caution and care, smiling about it, seeming so perfectly content. By the time he reached General Rieekan's quarters, he supposed that Leia had found a way to be at peace with life despite its difficulties. He wondered if Han had taught her how to find that peace and channel it. It almost made Luke jealous.

Luke depressed a small button that sat on the wall beside Rieekan's door and the general's warm voice called out in response, "Who is it?"

"Commander Skywalker, sir. I come in informal terms."

Quickly, Rieekan answered the door, his mouth open and his eyes tense. "Is she alright?" he asked, his voice low and quiet

"Uh, yeah. She seems just fine."

The Alderaanian squinted. "Did she . . . ?"

"Oh! Yes, she told me. But she relaxed pretty quickly. I think she'll be alright."

To that, Rieekan frowned. "That's it?"

"Well, by the time I left, she seemed . . . happy."

"Happy? Hmph. Well, I guess that's good. Did it seem good? Did she seem okay?"

"Yes, General, she seemed just fine. I think she actually might be really happy about the pre-"

Rieekan was quick to put a finger to his lips and Luke nodded in understanding. Rieekan waved him into his quarters and Luke followed. When Rieekan shut the door behind him, he continued. "Leia was starting to sound excited about the pregnancy. I think it might be good for her."

Rieekan's gaze wandered around the floor as he mulled that over in his head. "Good, huh?" he managed. "I don't know, Skywalker. I've known Lelila since she was just a fresh one herself. I guess it's great that she's excited, but I just worry. She's a Rebel leader, Luke. A key leader in this operation. How is the rest of High Command going to take this? How is everyone else going to treat her? As if things aren't bad enough. I know you weren't around while Leia and Han were gone too, but the rumors were bad. Well, inappropriate. They talked about her in ways she didn't deserve."

Luke actually laughed. "I think Leia can handle their rumors."

"I don't doubt that. I just think that she has a lot on her plate and she's in a tough position to be dealing with a pregnancy. Don't mistake me for the other High Command leaders, Luke. I'm happy for her, I really am. I just worry about her and how she's going to handle things. What she's going to decide to do."

"What do you mean. 'What she's going to decide to do'?"

"We had to evacuate two bases since Hoth. Two. Imperials almost found us and it was just too much of a risk to stay put. Do you really expect Leia to stay with the fleet until the child is born? That can't be a good idea."

Luke took a step back, finding a chair to rest in. A light sigh escaped between his lips and his gaze wandered too. "I guess I didn't consider that. Honestly, Leia and I didn't talk about the pregnancy much. She told me and then we talked about her and Han's trip to Bespin. I wasn't really thinking about all that this means. I don't think she is, either."

"No," Rieekan said quietly, resting an elbow on his armrest and holding his hand near his chin. "I suppose she isn't." He took his turn to sigh. "I should probably talk to her again soon. Real soon. It won't be long before High Command finds out. Leia told me she found out from a med-droid. Mothma doesn't usually keep up with them on Rebel patients, but she's attentive nonetheless. And Ackbar will be concerned for her. He's about the only one in that group whose blood runs warm. And he's a Calamarian!"

Luke just nodded because he knew how true it was. Like Rieekan, Luke figured the rest of High Command could respond in one of two ways. One, they wouldn't give a rip. Or two, the galaxy's problems would be Leia's fault, did she finish preparing her speech about the thing, and how dare she make excuses for missing meetings. Luke would bet his money on the second possibility any day.

For a second time, Rieekan sighed. He muttered something in the old Alderaanian tongue and filled himself a small glass of brandy. "I swore to myself that I would look after that girl for her father, but I don't know what the kriffing fierfek I'm supposed to do for her now."

Luke looked up as he was startled by the general's profanity. Alderaanians weren't known for their dirty mouths. Thinking on it, Luke wasn't sure he'd ever heard this particular Alderaanian swear before. "We both have to figure out how to help her," Luke said, trying to ease the burden Rieekan was lifting onto his own shoulders. "You aren't the only one she still has right now, you know. I'm here and so is Chewie."

"And that's about it. No offense, Commander, but she needs a kind of help that I don't think we can give."

"If that's what you think. I think, above all, she just needs support. Han is missing and that was the sum of her grievances before. Now, we just need to help her fight High Command. That's about all we can do, but it's all we'll do."

A look of deep inspiration came to Rieekan's eyes and he smiled. The sparkle in his eyes stayed, even when he said, "Not too bad of a one-liner, Commander. You might have to give lessons to Mothma."

Only a couple days later was the next meeting of High Command which, obviously, Leia was expected at. High Command hadn't met in their own meeting since Leia had pleaded for a search and rescue team to be dispatched for Han, and this would be the first. Leia got up quickly, grabbed two ration bars from her cabinet, and ate quickly before using the sanisteam. She was nearly done rinsing out the conditioner from her hair when the nausea hit. It came on very suddenly and Leia threw out a hand to steady herself against the wall of the sanisteam. She closed her eyes, hoping for the queasiness to pass, but after several seconds it finally won and Leia threw up.
She took a few minutes to finish, then recover. When she finished in the sanisteam, she realized she was already late for her meeting and hurried to construct her hair into a sloppy "bun" at the back up her head which was merely held together by a few pins. She pulled out a random pair of sandals from her closet and stumbled out her door as she slipped them on. A few others watched her drunk dance as she hurried down the corridors. Leia just ignored their stares and laughs as she hurried past.
Reaching the High Command conference room, Leia stretched out an arm and pressed her hand to a pad beside the door. It slid open and Leia stepped in to be greeted with stares from all sides. She stopped mid step, glancing around cautiously as she tried to plan out her next move.

"You're late, Princess," Mothma noted aloud, somehow glaring at her without really giving her the stare.

"Ah," Leia faltered, finding a seat and sitting down. "Yes, Commander-in-Chief," she managed. "I apologize."

Mothma's gaze remained on her a moment longer before the others grew so uncomfortable, the awkwardness was palpable. Leia took her seat and glanced at Rieekan who offered her a sympathetic gaze. As Mothma resumed whatever speech she'd been giving, Rieekan mouthed Leia a question, asking her, 'you alright?'. Leia nodded shortly, laying out her datapads and pulling up her notes. Leia caught his gaze periodically throughout the meeting. She could have chuckled at his worry and protectiveness, but she forced her attention to remain on Mothma until the meeting was adjourned. At that point, Leia hurried to join Rieekan and leave, but Mothma was quicker and, before Leia noticed her following close behind, the older woman grabbed her arm and gently turned her. Leia gasped, startled that Mothma had caught up to her. "Leia," she said in her most pleasant voice and Leia knew Mothma was about to rip her a big one. "Could I have a word with you for a moment?"

Leia forced her posture to be erect and she put on a straight face, asking, "May I ask what this is about?"

Mothma hardly responded the way Leia imagined the woman was thinking in her head. "You were late today," she said instead.

Leia nodded once. "Yes. Again, I apologize. I did not wish to cause a distraction; I was running late and I was hurrying to arrive on time."

"Well, you missed nearly half an hour of the meeting."

"Again, I apologize. That wasn't my intent."

"I should hope not," Mothma quickly asserted. "I don't think you've ever been late before. May I ask what kept you so long?"

Leia shrugged dismissively and she took another step towards the door where Rieekan stood waiting for her.

"Leia," Mothma spoke her name sharply. "Why were you late?"

"I . . . "

"I'm sure it won't happen again," Rieekan stepped forward to interject. He gently took Leia's arm and took her with him out the door. As the two hurried off, Leia muttered her complaint. "I wish you hadn't promised that."

Rieekan snorted. "And get stuck in that conversation with Mothma, dancing around the subject until she had you at point blank and you have to tell her? Are you ready for that? Are you ready to tell all of High Command what happened on that trip to Bespin? Once they find out, your chances of getting a team out there to find Han will be slimmer than they already are. Besides, Mothma won't treat the matter lightly. Are you ready to tell them yet?"

Silently, Leia shook her head. "No," she responded, her voice soft and quiet as a whisper.

Rieekan didn't sigh this time, but said simply, "You're going to have to tell them, though."

"Soon, yes," Leia agreed. "But like you said, I'm not ready to tell them yet. It hardly even seems real to me yet."

"And that's just fine. Take your time, Lelila."

Leia considered the dilemma, licking her dry lips as she walked with him.

"Are you feeling better now?" Rieekan asked.

Leia smiled, amused. "A little. I don't need to be put on bedrest if that's what you're thinking. I am really thirsty, though. And hungry. I lost my breakfast in the sanisteam this morning."

"You should have just stayed home and called in sick."

Leia gave a small smile. "Maybe I should have. Would have been nice to at least have an excuse. Rieekan, how on Coruscant am I going to tell High Command?"
"Sounds like you got a lot to figure out, Princess."

"There's no need to excessively remind me, Rieekan." She lolled her head around, pulling up her arms to cradle her datapads and possessions to her chest. "I'm starting to feel sick again. I hope I don't miss lunch today."

Rieekan glanced worriedly at her. "I'll send Luke over and if you two don't show up after twenty minutes, I'll bring your tray to your quarters."

"Thanks, Rieekan." Holding her stack with one arm, Leia pressed a hand to her forehead. "A few days in and I'm already sick of this."

"Relax, Lelila. I'm sure there's much more fun to look forward to."

They came to Leia's quarters and Rieekan took her things from her, so she could lie down. Staring up at the ceiling, she remarked solemnly, "I've hardly been out of my quarters since I got back. "I'm sure Mothma already knows something's up."

"I'm sure of that, too. Although, I don't think she's quite on the right trail yet. If anything right now, she's going to accuse you of wallowing in your own pity pool of grief over Captain Solo. And she's going to find you pathetic for it."

"Fine. Let her think what she wants of me. She'll say what she wants and I'll just have to remind her how much I don't care."

Rieekan watched her, chuckling to himself. He remarked quietly, "That's the girl Bail Organa raised."

Leia smiled. "That's the girl Breha Organa raised," she corrected. Suddenly, she sat up. Her face went pale and Rieekan leaned forward, worried that the nausea had hit her again. Seeing his look, Leia put out a hand, stopping him. "I'm fine," she insisted, "I just sat up too fast." Slower now, she sat against the wall behind her bed. "I was just wondering, what do you think they would think of all this?" Leia threw her arms out to her sides, then brought them back to rest over her stomach.

Rieekan smiled lightly and came to take a seat at the side of her bed. He rested a hand over hers and assured her, "I think we both know that they wouldn't be too thrilled about the prospect of their daughter being pregnant out of wedlock, but Bail and Breha Organa only ever had one daughter and nothing could ever tarnish the love they had for you."

"I can imagine how disappointed they would be," Leia agreed. "But you think they would be okay with it?"

"I think that if they knew Captain Solo, they would be glad that such a man cared about their daughter. And they would still be thrilled to be grandparents. Yes, they would be disappointed, but they wouldn't want you to be alone dealing with that."

Leia nodded once, considering Rieekan's response. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Plus," Rieekan added, "They would be even more glad that the father was someone you actually loved and not just the suitor that your aunts found for you."

Is it wrong that I'm already wondering what other people will think? Now that Luke and Rieekan know, I find myself writing conversations in my head, trying to figure out what words I'll use and how I'll say it when I tell High Command. I know that it's necessary I tell them, but I just don't know how I'll ever do it.

In a conversation with Rieekan, I've already imagined what Mama and Papa would think and the thought was too much in every way. I can imagine them smiling, crying, first being disappointed and scornful, but then opening their arms to me and promising me that I will never have to be alone through this.
What I have yet to fathom, though, is how can I imagine having all these conversations when I'm not even sure that it's really sunk in for me yet?

Every morning, I get the constant reminders as I wake up and spend ten minutes in the refresher, throwing up the nothing contents of my stomach. I still have one of the tests I took. And then I am reminded again whenever I make a comment about needing caf and Rieekan and Luke just give me this look. Oh, what I would do for a big, steaming cup of caf . . .

I've been trying to get it to sink in, reminding myself constantly, but it still doesn't seem real. No matter how many times I take out that test and remind myself of what's happened to me, nothing seems to make it real enough for me to understand.

I almost wonder if it's the cause of a certain shock missing. If Han were here, maybe the fear and anticipation of telling him would fill the rest in for me. Maybe things would be a little clearer and I would know where I have to go from here. I'm pregnant. I should feel something more than just confusion and fear, shouldn't I? I should. I know I should. I should be overjoyed and ecstatic. Part of me feels that deep, deep, down, in some hidden alcove, I do. I just don't understand any of this yet. When I do understand it, though, then I'll be happy and ecstatic and overjoyed. And everything will click into place. I just have to understand this. But what is there to understand? Again, shouldn't it already be crystal clear?

I should still be depressed over Han missing and further distressed because I'm pregnant with his child and he has no idea because he's somewhere else in this great big galaxy, frozen in a slab of carbonite. I should be terrified because I have no idea what to do and I know nothing about being a mother. I think I feel all those things; I just don't know how to understand it all.

Does that even make any sense?