Jesus grinned, just as happy as Jess was.
"Come, let's go eat supper - I bet you're hungry after all that?" he asked.
She nodded, grinning.
So, they got up and started walking back to the shack.
"Jesus? While we've been on the peer, where has Barry been?" Jess asked.
He glanced at her and smiled.
"He has been talking to Papa."
She raised her eyebrows.
"He has?"
This actually did surprise her - Barry usually argued than God was unloving and repsonsible for his pain every day, if real. His arthritis did get worse every day, and the pain was constant.
"He has been given her a hard time." Jesus revealed, sounding sad.
Jess looked down and sighed.
"Barry is in an aweful lot of pain, every day - even when doin very simple tasks - even when sitting down...pain like that can only build up emotion inside, and I guess God is the only one he can blame it on." she offered - this was not an accussation, just an observation on what she saw every day.
Jesus nodded and put his arm around her.
"You are a very special person." he stated.
That surprised her!
"I am?" she asked, softly.
Now Jesus had some fun.
"No, I am the I am." he grinned.
After a moment, Jess got the joke and burst out laughing.
They laughed together, and it truly was incredible.
Jess truly did love being with him, and inside, never ever wanted to be apart from him again. As she was thinking this, her mind wandered to Papa and Sarayu, and felt exactly the same way - they were all God, and thought the same, also different - it made her giggle and she loved all of them very much.
As her mind thought back on Papa, she remembered the pain in her stomach, and Papa had said it would be better if she asked Jesus about it.
So, she turned to him again as they walked.
"Jesus, when I was in the bathroom, I had this horrible pain in my abdomen...like seriously bad pain. Papa came in and took the pain away, and I asked her what it was, but she said it would be better if I asked you about it?"
He nodded knowingly, and thought for a moment.
"Jess, what had you done just before the pain began?" he asked gently.
She looked down, feeling ashamed.
"I uh...had - just hurt myself." she admitted - she would never lie to him.
He smiled.
"Thank you for being honest." he acknowledged, holding her arm.
"Always with you." she whispered.
She meant it and felt some emotion as she said it, because it was deep...connecting.
Jesus felt it too and rubbed her arm.
As he did so, he slowly began to lift her sleeve.
Jess looked down - she hated it in once sense - she didn't want him to see what she had done to herself.
But, she would allow him to do anything he wanted, and would obey anything he said.
The word hate was still a deep red colour.
Jess sighed out.
"I'm so sorry - I was so angry when I did it and I couldn't let it out any other way...I regreted it straight away." she explained quietly.
Jesus looked her in the eyes.
"Yes, you did regret it - and that was the pain. See, when you were in the bathroom, you were also full of anxiety about being here with us - that is gone now, I am so pleased to see! But, then, you were afraid. So, you didn't ask us to help with the anger. Deep down, you hated yourself for the seperation of us - that's why you scratched the word hate. It wasn't just Barry you were angry with. Your brain was so full of hurt and anger and emotion, that the only place it could put any more pain was in your body - do you understand?"
And Jess actually did - it made perfect sense.
"I'm sorry." she repeated.
Jesus smiled.
"I know you are - you're already forgiven, remember?"
Jess smiled, nodding.
"Yes - because you love me?"
"I want you to learn to love yourself too, instead of hate. See?" he asked softly, rubbing his hand over the word hate.
A tingling feeling spread through her arm, and as Jess watched, the letters changed.
Instead of spelling out "hate", they changed into something worth the scars...worth the remembering..."love".
She breathed out, deeply touched.
She nodded and hugged him again.
That never got old...she absolutely loved hugging him, and Jesus certainly didn't seem to mind - he seemed to like exchanging the gesture of love between them.
After some minutes, they were on there way again and got back to the shack just in time for supper.