She is beautiful, she has always been beautiful in his eyes and he cannot deny it, not anymore. When he sees her crying, his whole world shatters, everytime, and Adam doesn't want that to happen once more. As usual, he doesn't think when he gets closer to her, puts his hand under her chin and finally finds her eyes. He kisses her though, without thinking about her, just because he wants too, just because the world is empty without her and he can't accept the fact she is hurt. He feels her responding and he loves it. Ruzek doesn't know how long they kiss like that but she breaks the kiss with a shy smile before going up in front of him. "Adam, Wendy..." He knows she would mention her, she is Kim and she doesn't want his fiance to suffer from all of this. Nonetheless, the detective smiles. "She is just gone..." He doesn't know what to think about it but it's a fact. Wendy refuses to answer her phone and he can't go on like this, forcing her to do something she's not willing to do. "What do you mean she's just gone? She can't be gone... You were gonna marry her, Adam!" Ruzek doesn't move at first, he just looks at her with pride and then, he finds his phone and rings Wendy again. Voice-mail, again. "Gone. There's nothing left of her at home, she ran away, Kim, I don't blame her because you and I both know I was not gonna marry her in the end." It is the first time Adam tells her he was going to end it with Wendy and she feels goosebumps, unless it is something else, something she cannot recognize yet. "Listen, Kim... I like you, I really like you and I can't keep running away from this... You. Us." Adam is not very good with words when it requires him to tell someone how he feels. Feeling is not his strong suit, he prefers running away from any form of commitment because it is easier for him. He is scared, actually, and he will always be but he cannot let Kim go. He feels like he will lose his mind if she disappears from his life so he is ready to give this relationship a chance, if she wants it too. She says nothing, she just looks at him with this expression he cannot read. Then, her lips are on his again, her hands around his neck and he feels alive, truly alive. They are together, finally together.
When they arrive at the station, the silence is deafening. Platt is behind her desk, not cocky as usual, she seems more stressed out than they are used to but Kim doesn't want to complain when she usually is her main target. She rises her head from her work and find the two cops in the hallway, everyone looking at them sharply. "Rebel without a cause, Voight wants to see you. Burgess, glad to see you alive." Kim cannot believe she just heard that from Trudy Platt. "Wow, are you OK, sergeant?" Platt looks at her over her glasses and Burgess knows that's not a bad idea to go down that way. Adam leaves on that note, looking at her with a little smile before running towards the stairs and disappear from her view. Kim stays here for a few minutes as her colleagues come to know how she feels.
She is up there in no time after that, the detectives looking at her with worry as soon as they see her face. "Burgess, happy to see you here again." Olinsky taps on her shoulder, Atwater hugs her and the rest of them just smile at her. Something is wrong and Kim couldn't be more right when the door opens in front of her and she sees Voight and Adam go out. The worlds stops when Voight puts a picture on the board and Adam flees without saying anything. Kim doesn't want to see that, she is not ready for that. "Adam..." But he's already gone and the team is ready to work. "We must do everything we can to find the bastards who did this to Wendy. Everybody has to be here a hundred pour-cent... Burgess, are you in?" Kim did not move during this little speech, her eyes are on the picture. It's Wendy. Dead. Blood everywhere. She should cry, be mad, throw everything she can find but she is not like that so she rises her head and says with a loud voice. "I'm in, sergeant. Everything you need." She is strong, she will not be defeated by this, she will fight or die trying. Voight just nods and she knows she has her place in the team... She doesn't know if she wants if under those circumstances but she wants to do this. For Adam. Where has he gone?
She finds him in the locker room, sitting on a bench and looking to the ground. Kim sits right in front of him and waits for him to move. She doesn't want to rush him into things, she just wants him to know she is there for him. They stay silent and she looks at his hands and see blood on his knuckles. Obviously, Ruzek could not stop himself from hitting a wall. Gently, Kim takes his hand and looks at the injury. Adam doesn't look at her, in fact, he doesn't move at all. Burgess gets up and looks for a towel but when she is ready to go back to Adam, he finally talks. "I was foolish enough to believe she was gone... Without a word, just ready to give up on us. And I saw nothing, Burgess. Nothing." She knows it's not a good sign he's calling her by that name but she ignores it. Kim puts the towel on his hand and palms gently to erase any trace of blood. Adam's eyes look up at her and it hurts, it truly hurts this time. "She's gone because of me... I have to make this right. I have to..." Kim stops him by putting her finger on his lips. She knows, she just knows what he has to do. She has to do it too. "Stop, say no more. We have to find the killer, everything else doesn't matter right now, I get it. I have your back, that's all. Nothing more." She is saying their relationship is gone, for now and Adam doesn't fight her on this. He just finds the strength to go up and wipe off the trace of a tear on his cheek and leaves. "Thank you, Kim." And the door closes, Burgess has to sit down, she has to take a break before going back to the team to give everything she has. Today, she says goodbye to her love for Adam. Today, she becomes another kind of woman, she becomes a great cop, a cop who has no fear and will do anything for her colleagues. Their lives, their honor, their families. She gets up again and she is more determined than ever.
"Ok, so what do we have so far?" Voight asks to the team without some sort of introduction. "Wendy was found in an alley not far from her home. She died by strangulation after receiving several kicks on the head. We have not found her belongings yet but we're looking into it." Lindsay stays quiet after that, looking at Burgess now that Voight asked Ruzek to go home for a while. He was not ok with that of course and Kim was worried but she had to stay here to help, at least for a few hours. She looks at the screen of the computer and searches for every clue she can get. Why Wendy? Why now? Why this alley? Is it connected to her assault? Kim is pretty sure it's the case... "Sergeant, maybe it's not about us... I mean, the team. Have you thought about someone who would want to hurt Adam? I mean, Ruzek..." And the silence is deafening again. They don't know anything yet bet they know Ruzek is not safe and as soon as she pronounces that sentence, her instinct has spoken, she has her phone and she dials his number. "Pick up, Adam. Pick up, please. Don't get hurt. Just pick up." Everyone looks at her and she just takes her jacket and go. Nobody runs after her, they have work to do and she has another mission... Finding Adam. Making sure he was fine, everything else doesn't matter really. Maybe she can't love him right now but she can protect him, she is strong enough to do that... No, she wishes she is.