When they got to the door, Jesus and Jess were greeting at the door by Papa.
"Well it's about time!" she chided playfully, "Supper is on the table."
Jess grinned and was rewarded by a heartful smile from Papa.
"Did you have a good talk with Jesus?" Papa asked her.
Jess nodded.
"Very good!" she confirmed, wanting to now embrace Papa.
Papa understood and more than willingly opened her arms.
Grinning, Jess fell into her arms and loved how normal and loving the hug was - it was so parental, and she sighed, content.
Papa laughed happily.
"Come, how about some supper?" she offered.
"Oh yes please!" Jess laughed, "I am starving!"
Everyone laughed, and Jess noticed Sarayu was there too, already waiting at the table.
She smiled at her and Jess nodded at her happily.
They sat down and Jess looked around, suddenly feeling upset.
"Where's Barry?" she asked carefully.
Papa looked at her sadly.
"He is too afraid to join us." she answered.
"Why?"
Jesus answered with another one;
"Why were you scared of us?"
Jess looked down.
"Oh...uh - maybe I could talk with him?" she offered.
Jesus looked at Papa.
"That might be a good idea, Jessica. This food will still be hot and fresh when you get back. He is on the peer now." Papa said.
A horrible sinking feeling overcame Jess just then, and terrified, she looked at Jesus, who looked back sadly.
She shook her head and ran to the peer as fast as she could.
Pain erupted through her legs and chest as she ran faster and further than she ever had.
She refused to give up though - no way in hell was she going to let Barry jump into that water.
At long last she got there, and saw him pacing, getting ready.
"Barry don't!" she shouted, gasping for air.
He turned to her, surprised.
"Why do you care?" he asked - not agressively, but desperately, and Jess felt herself fill with pity for him.
"I care because you're family - not just cousin, but brother too...why do you want to jump Barry? You're life means something!"
"Means what?" he asked, now letting tears come.
"I'm crippled, and all I ever do is hurt people. You especially."
Jess looked down and inched slowly towards him.
"Yes Barry, you're crippled...but with that has come humility, and empathy - you know what it's like for other people and don't judge them like other people do. You understand that everyone is human, and shouldn't be treated differently just because they're disabled. Yes, you have hurt me...horrifically...and I forgive you." she said strongly.
Barry looked startled and overwhelmed.
"Why?" he asked, voice broken.
"Because it's in the past - if I hold on to all the hurt inside me, then it just hurts me even more. It means we have a broken relationship and just argue all the time and try to win in a battle of who's better. But, it doesn't matter. I know you're sorry for hurting me - I can see that now, so I forgive you. We need to move on and concentrate on the future."
He was crying more now, no longer ashamed of the tears.
"What is the purpose of my life?" he sniffed, "I'm better off dead!"
"No you're not!" Jess argued, now close to him, "Barry you don't NEED to do anything in life, that's the point! You were created to live in love - God's love! He created you to experience the beautiful world he created, just so you could enjoy it and know what it is to feel his grace!" she explained, getting very aimated now.
Barry breathed out, shakily, and finally turned away from the water to face her.
"But they know everything! They know what I did..."
"And they love you anyway!" she reinforced.
She sighed.
"Barry - every human on Earth has sinned, and fallen short of God. But that is why Jesus died on the cross. Love always leaves a mark...see?" she asked, pulling her sleeve up and showing her the scratches on her arm.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Barry, I was angry with you...but I took it out on myself instead and scratched the word "hate". But when I talked to Jesus, he made me see that I should love myself, like he loves me, no matter what. So he made the word change to love, so that everytime I look at my arm, I am reminded that he loves me, and can remember HIS scars on his wrists...the true marks of love. He did that Barry, for me. He did it for you. He did it for every human on Earth. So we can be with God again. You don't need to be afraid, they just want to love you." Jessica explained, now crying herself.
Barry fully broke down then, and overwhelmed, Jessica did what she thought she'd never do.
She hugged him tightly, and she was not repulsed by him, but found joy in the healing she was helping with.
"I'm scared of them." he whispered.
"You are loved by them, more than you could imagine. But if you are still scared, then I'll go with you." Jess offered.
After several long minutes of crying, and calming, Barry finally nodded.
"I am sorry, you know." he said softly.
"I know." Jess smiled.
"Let's go tell Papa that."
He gulped and nodded again, and they slowly made their way back to the shack.
Jess breathed out, trying to control her emotion as they neared the shack again.
Her turn was over, but knew Barry would be twice as emotional as her, and the very thought was enough to make her want to cry.
Barry was seriously struggling.
"I'm so scared!" he cried, his breathing becoming very arradic.
Jess placed her hand on his arm.
"You must calm down - or you'll have a panic attack...I swear to you there is nothing to fear of them...their love is - is amazing! It is the greatest and most purest joy you will ever, ever feel. It might hurt you when you start the relationship, but then that's it! You can let go of the past! They WILL forgive you, I promise. Look how sorry you are! And you know what else? They will, if you let them, help heal you from the pain of the abuse you also suffered as a child."
Barry closed is eyes and breathed out.
"I don't deserve it." he whispered.
"No you don't." Jess agreed, "but NO-ONE does. That is what mercy is...getting something you don't deserve. God IS love - so when you live your life with him, then all you know is love - see?"
Barry breathed out again and nodded...he had finally started to see the truth.
"Jess? Did...did you see the scars?" he asked softly.
She nodded slowly, eyes swimming again.
"He allowed me to touch them...I felt where the nails had been driven through, and it was all for us. That is why he is glorious and so deserving of our respect and love." she whispered.
Barry froze.
They were now at the door of the shack.
"Deep breathes." Jess smiled, taking his hand.
She waited until he was ready, then she opened the door.