BROTHER ON BOARD
Bluejay Blaze - The insanity is contagious and it is now spreading. Pray for Zoro and Nami because it's only a matter of time before they go round the bend too. But the questions is, if they do go crazy like the others... will they realize it or will they simply see their crazy as the new normal? Food for thought.
Guest - What else does Sabo do with Bonnie Anne? Well, he shoots stuff with her, defends towns with her, kills evil pirates with her and properly maintains her so he can continue to do those things with her. Also, a couple other crazier things which you'll see at the end of this chapter.
lostdog200 - You're quite welcome. And the gun-nuttiness is spreading. Poor Usopp never stood a chance.
Fairy of the Friz - Let's he honest here, most of the Straw Hats just sort of do their own thing without bothering to dig into each others' personal lives. In canon, the Straw Hats never even knew that Luffy and Nami had siblings until they met them. Sabo will share his about his scar and backstory/ambition when someone decides to ask about it. (Which, incidentally, will be at the tail end of the East Blue Saga). And cephalopods... hmm... I can already imagine the jokes about Sabo being confused for a fishman. He could also rival Robin in his ability to multitask. Although... I do like to keep tentacles and anime as far apart as possible...
Syluk - Yes. Mental scars. Remember, my Sabo never had amnesia so he remembers exactly what happened to him. Now his dream is to take down the Celestial Dragons. I think it's safe to say that Sabo bears a deep grudge. Could the grudge eventually lead to bigger anger problems and get him into trouble? Possibly. I guess we'll see. Also, welcome to the Bonnie Anne fan club! No one can resist the lure of the rifle for long! (Insert ominous lightning flash and maniacal laughter here)
Pippalina - I actually chose Bonnie Anne as Sabo's main weapon because she seemed to fit the Steampunk Victorian-custom-weapon theme. This is an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action. That means Bonnie is part sniper rifle and part revolver with the power of a magnum handgun. This covers all Sabo's bases as far as his gun-needs go. Back in chapter 9, he was able to snipe Jango's hand all the way from the top of the pass then turned around used the revolving action to send three waves of pirates flying back down the pass. That's the type of creative versatility I'm trying to come up with when I think of Sabo's Devil Fruit Power. I also need something that comes with different 'levels' so Sabo can kick things up a notch at Enies Lobby and then another notch Post Time Skip.
PipeDream - Yes! Yes! The madness! It is spreading! Today the Straw Hats, tomorrow the internet, next week THE WORLD! (Insert ominous lightning flash and maniacal laughter here)
Mikilia94 - What I was attempting to show was that Usopp, like Sabo and Luffy, sees Bonnie as more than just a rifle. Granted, this is Usopp, he's the nutjob that sees the spirit of the Going Merry then starts wearing a mask and a cape like a superhero AND THEN has the persona come to life and talk to him when he's scared. So the validity of his opinion can be called into question. Also, as you can probably tell from some of my responses on here, I have a very sarcastic sense of humor that I turn on at the drop of a top hat. Unfortunately, sarcasm doesn't always come across very clearly in this medium. Looking back, the sarcasm in my response to your last review didn't come across as well as I'd hoped so I'd like to apologize if you were in anyway offended by my harsh/sarcastic dismissal of Usopp in a relationship with a gun. I cherish every review that I get on here. Even those two-word reviews that I get from that one guest reviewer that I can never seem to think of a proper response to. Please know, that I would never intentionally offend you or anyone else that takes the time to review my story.
Monkey D. Funky - Welcome! I'm glad you like my story. Thanks for taking the time to review it. You mentioned problems with my sentence structure and grammar in your first review. Honestly, I've heard those things before about my writing but it's a habit that I can't seem to kick. I know what I want my work to say so that's how I see it when I read it. If you notice any glaring errors please feel free to point them out and I'll do my best to go back and fix them.
Hellfire000: In love with the story already? Thanks! I haven't even gotten into the good stuff yet. Negotiating at the Baratie is just the beginning. Sabo has already made some small changes to things but before long they'll become bigger ones and you'll be seeing a very different version of the canon One Piece story that we're all so familiar with.
Baratie-
Marine Lieutenant Fullbody was fully enjoying the attention of the beautiful Moodie as well as a fair number of the other women in the room. But it was time to make things go even better for him. It was time for the wine.
"Hmm… this delicate scent," Fullbody remarked as he sniffed his wine. "It must be from Micqueot in the North Blue." Fullbody took a careful sip. "Yes, and this slight sourness mixed with a thick dry taste… This must be Itelzbulger Stein! Am I right, waiter?"
Moodie's eyes widened in amazement, she was clearly impressed, as was everyone else that had been listening in.
"Not even close."
Fullbody's head whipped around to see a blonde man in the suit with eyebrows that swirled at the end.
"And I'm not a waiter, I'm the Sous Chef," Sanji corrected him again. "All the waiters jumped ship so I'm just filling in." Sanji placed two bowls of soup on the tables. "Here's your soup. Enjoy it while its hot."
Fullbody flushed bright red as Sanji walked away.
"Hahahaha!" A woman at the next table laughed. "He was so sure of himself!"
"What happened?" Fullbody wondered. "I called ahead and requested that wine specifically!"
"You… uh… sure know a lot about wine," Moodie attempted to reassure him.
"I… I must be getting sick," Fullbody lied in an attempt to save face, "It's throwing off my palate."
Luffy and Sabo stood outside Head Chef Zeff's quarters on the top floor of the Baratie.
"Head Chef, we brought the bozos that wrecked the place," Patty said from in the room. "You sure yer alright?"
"Of course I'm not alright!" a stern older voice snapped. "But forget about that. There's work to do. Bring 'em in then get back to the kitchen."
"Right sir," Patty agreed. He turned and grabbed both Luffy and Sabo by their collars then chucked them into the room.
Sabo's attention was immediately drawn to Head Chef Zeff's long braided blonde mustache and the patch of blood that was dripping down his face from the base of his extremely tall chef's hat.
Luffy's attention was drawn lower to the Head Chef's peg leg. "GAAAHHH! I BLEW OFF YOUR FOOT!"
"Shut up, you idiot!" Zeff scolded him as he leaned forward and bopped Luffy on the head with his extremely tall chef's hat. "I was like this before. But you did injure me and blew a huge hole in my wall. You're gonna pay for that!"
"Nice to meet you, Head Chef Zeff," Sabo greeted the old man with a tip of his top hat. "I'd like to apologize for all the trouble. We were just minding our own business when some obnoxious marine opened fire on our new ship. Luffy here deflected the cannonballs but they ended up going off course and hit your place by accident."
"NO EXCUSES!" Zeff growled. "It doesn't change the fact that he messed up my restaurant. If your bum Captain doesn't have money to pay off the damage then he's gotta work it off. One year and we'll call it square."
"A WHOLE YEAR!?" Luffy blurted out. "I CAN'T DO THAT! I'VE GOT IMPORTANT STUFF TO DO!"
"That seems a tad excessive," Sabo replied.
"Excessive?" Zeff repeated, "You want excessive? If you can't pay, and you don't wanna work off the damage, then there's only one other thing I'll accept."
"Really?" Luffy asked. "What's that?"
"I'll let you off the hook…" Zeff said, "If you give me… your leg."
"WHAT!?" Luffy shrieked.
"That's not gonna happen," Sabo refused.
"Oh, I see, too good to give me your leg, huh?" Zeff retorted.
"My brother's attached to his," Sabo replied. "He's kind of using it. Look, let's go back to your idea of him working off what he owes you. A year's a bit much. Let's try and be reasonable about this. After all, it was an accident."
"Don't give me that crap!" Zeff barked. "Because of you idiots my wall is gone! So is the wall to the other cooks' quarters! First, we've gotta get the materials to fix it then I've gotta pull some of my cooks outta the kitchen so they can do the labor! That's manpower that I can't spare since I'm already short staffed after the waiters jumped ship. And then there's all the customers that we're gonna lose cuz the place looks like a wreck with a giant gaping hole in the wall! You're gonna pay for that and it's gonna cost you exactly one year."
"Speaking of the restaurant's appearance," Sabo said, "Since you're the owner... perhaps you can tell me why this place is modeled to look like a fish?"
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Zeff roared.
"Okay, look, how's this?" Sabo offered. "He's my younger brother and my Captain so I'm not going anywhere without him. What if I worked here too? You said yourself that you were short staffed. You'll probably need somebody to wait tables then."
"We have no waiters," Zeff admitted, "Sanji - the Sous Chef - is filling in for them downstairs after they all jumped ship."
"WAITER!" Fullbody called out as he attempted to get revenge on Sanji for humiliating him with the wine with an 'ingenious' plan. "WHAT'S THIS FLY DOING IN MY SOUP?"
Sanji glanced down at the dead bug that Fullbody had swatted and placed in his own bowl. "I'm no bug expert… but that looks like the backstroke."
Fullbody bristled in annoyance as Sanji casually dismissed the fly. What did catch the Sous Chef's interest was Fullbody's beautiful date.
"What a rare beautiful flower blooming in this vast sea," Sanji crooned as he took one of Moodie's hands in his. He gave her a look of devoted adoration.
"Oh…." Moodie gasped, surprised and overwhelmed by Sanji's blatant flirting and affection.
"How would you like to try some of my personal wine stock?" Sanji offered.
KRASH!
Fullbody had enough and knocked his soup bowl off the table. "HEY! I'M A CUSTOMER!"
Sanji once again ignored Fullbody and seemed more concerned for the bowl of soup that he'd spilled. "You just had to take the fly out and you still could've eaten that…" Sanji reached out to clean up the shattered bowl and spilled soup.
TOMP!
Fullbody stomped on Sanji's extended hand. "YOU'RE JUST A DUMB COOK! HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
"Fullbody… calm down," Moodie stood up and placed her hands on his arm to try and calm him down. "That's enough. Let it go."
At this point, Fullbody was beyond rational thought. Sanji continued to humiliate him while treating him like was just a common bum that had wandered in off the street. He didn't want to calm down. He wanted revenge. Fullbody pushed Moodie aside so he could continue his fight.
Moodie's balance was already precarious due to her high heels. The shove caught her off guard and she fell to the ground. "Ouch…"
Fullbody suddenly realized that he now had Sanji's full attention. The boiling anger was instantly gone and was replaced with overwhelming terror. The Marine Lieutenant instantly realized that he'd just made a huge mistake and that this wasn't going to end well for him.
"So I'll help out Sanji and fill in as a waiter and Luffy can be your chore boy," Sabo continued to negotiate, "Between the two of us that'll bring the one year down to six months. Since this is a restaurant and we'll be working without pay… I'm hoping that you'll be able to provide our meals."
"I am short-staffed," Zeff admitted, "Alright, fine, Top Hat. One year split between the two of you. That makes it six months each. But I'm not giving you punks free lodging. You've got a ship. You can sleep over there."
"See, now we're negotiating," Sabo replied.
"Sabo that still seems like a real long time," Luffy pointed out as he sat on a bit of the broken wall.
Sabo looked over at Luffy then eyed the gaping hole in the side of the room. He grinned and turned back to Zeff. "Actually, I just had another idea. You mentioned that you didn't want to waste your cooks by making them repair the damage we did to your restaurant. So what if we repaired the damage?"
"You're gonna be too busy with your duties as waiter and chore boy to do that!" Zeff argued.
"You're right," Sabo agreed, "But our Bosun and Master Gunner won't be. I'll have to run this by them first, of course, but what if they work to repair the damage while Luffy and I work downstairs? I'm pretty sure they'll be game. We're Nakama so we're in this together. That means there'll be four of us working for you and I believe that should bring the six months down to three months each."
"That still seems like a long time," Luffy chimed in again. "We waited ten years to be pirates."
"But we're trying to establish ourselves as honorable pirates," Sabo reminded him. "That means we need to pay off our debts. We broke the restaurant so we're gonna fix it. Three months of all of us working together isn't nearly as bad as you working a whole year alone. We can also use that time to find our Ship's Cook."
"You brats are looking for a cook?" Zeff questioned.
"Yeah, that's why we came here," Luffy told him.
"Hm… most people just come for the food," Zeff noted. "But if you can get your other two crewmates to agree to it, you've got a deal."
Grumble…
"Great, you said 'food'," Sabo muttered while Luffy rubbed his stomach. "I don't suppose you'd provide us with a meal so we can familiarize ourselves with the menu?"
"Don't push your luck, brat," Zeff snapped. He stood up and mumbled something about 'uppity blonde punks' then led them to the door, "I just know I'm gonna regret this but I'll introduce you to Sanji. He'll cover your training."
Patty the Fry Cook had just finished up in the washroom and was taking a detour through the dining room on his way back up to the kitchen. "Heh heh, the customer is King!" Patty recited. "That's our motto!" Patty passed through the dining room and froze in shock.
Sanji was holding a bloody, barely conscious Fullbody by the collar. Moodie had fled the restaurant.
"SANJI!" Patty yelled as he stormed across the room. "WHAT'RE YA DOIN' TER THAT CUSTOMER?"
"This bastard wasted soup and hurt a lady," Sanji stated. "So I taught him some manners." He tossed Fullbody aside like he was a sack of garbage.
"Customers're this place's life's blood!" Patty berated Sanji, "So what's his life's blood doin' drippin' all over the floor?"
"This… this place stinks…" Fullbody wheezed as he sat up on the ground. "I can't believe this is how you'd treat a paying customer! I'll report you to the government and they'll have you shut down!"
"I'LL SHUT YOU DOWN!" Sanji snarled as he surged at the marine.
Patty grabbed Sanji and held him back.
"CRAP! SANJI'S FIGHTING ANOTHER CUSTOMER!" a cook called out from the kitchen door. He and another three cooks rushed over to help Patty restrain Sanji.
That was the sight that greeted Luffy and Sabo when Zeff led them down to the kitchen.
"I CAN'T STAND SPOILED OBNOXIOUS BASTARDS LIKE HIM!" Sanji shouted as he struggled against the four cooks holding him back. "LEMME AT HIM!"
Sabo took one look at the bloody marine who looked like he'd just gotten the worst beating of his life then turned and looked passed Zeff at Luffy and grinned. "I like him."
Head Chef Zeff pushed passed Luffy and Sabo, "SANJI! WHAT'RE YOU DOING MESSING UP MY PLACE?"
"Shut up, you old geezer!" Sanji spat.
"Head Chef, Sanji beat up this marine!" Patty the tattletale pointed out.
"YOU TRYIN' TO RUIN ME?" Zeff roared as he swung his peg leg around and kicked Sanji in the face.
THWAK!
"AND YOU!" Zeff snarled as he rounded on Fullbody. "GET THE HELL OUT ALREADY!"
Zeff's peg leg lashed out again and this time he kicked the marine officer himself.
THWHAM!
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?" Fullbody wondered. "THEY RUN THIS RESTAURANT LIKE A PIRATE SHIP!"
"How many times do I haveta tell ya?" Patty snapped at Sanji. "The customer is King!"
"Sure, as long as they agree to eat the slop you call food," Sanji retorted.
"Sanji! Patty!" Zeff scolded his rebellious charges, "If you're gonna fight. Do it in the kitchen."
"Wow, those are three tough cooks," Luffy noted.
"Maybe it won't be so bad working here," Sabo mused.
"LIEUTENANT! LIEUTENANT FULLBODY!" Everyone looked up to see a marines standing in the door. "That Krieg Pirate that we captured escaped!"
"WHAT?" Fullbody sputtered. "HOW? He was starving when we found him three days ago and we haven't fed him since."
"One of Don Krieg's men?" one of the diners repeated. "They call him the Strongest in the East Blue!"
BANG!
The marine dropped to the ground and revealed a pirate with a pistol standing in the doorway.
"AAAAAAAHHH!" the customers screamed at seeing a marine murdered in front of them.
"Customer, party of one," Patty announced.
"He'd better not start trouble," Zeff growled.
"…" Sanji remained silent.
"He's a pirate?" Luffy questioned.
Sabo shook his head, "This place is nuts."
The pirate made his way in and seated himself at a table with his feet up. "This is a restaurant, right? Bring me food. I don't care what it is."
Patty went over to the table, "And… if ya don't mind me askin'… how will ya be payin' fer yer meal?"
"You take lead?" the pirate asked as he held his pistol to Patty's forehead.
"Well… if ya ain't got money…" Patty said, "THEN YA AIN'T A CUSTOMER!"
KRASH!
Patty slammed his huge Popeye forearms down onto the pirate and smashed him through the chair.
"Damn it Patty," Zeff complained, "Don't bust up my chairs."
"Wow, he's strong," Luffy remarked.
"None of you knows how to treat a customer," Fullbudy grumbled as he stalked out the door completely ignored again. "I'm never coming back here again."
Grmmple…
Everyone looked down at the fallen pirate.
"His stomach's rumbling," Sanji noted.
"Idiot…" the pirate grunted. "That was a fart. Hurry up and give me food."
"IF YER NOT PAYIN' FER FOOD YER NOT A CUSTOMER!" Patty yelled as he grabbed the pirate, hauled him off the floor and chucked him out the door. Patty grinned and turned back to the diners that had remained seated during the 'floor show'. "Dear customers! Sorry fer the commotion. Enjoy yer meals."
Sabo walked up between Zeff and Sanji. "Okay… I'm new to this whole restaurant-business but for future reference… am I supposed to beat up the spoiled obnoxious customers that pay for their food or the dirty pirates that don't?"
"Sanji, meet the new waiter," Zeff said. "You're training him."
Sanji looked over at Sabo, "First rule of the Baratie. We feed anyone who's hungry." With that said, the Sous Chef headed upstairs to the kitchen.
"Eat this," Sanji said as he placed a dish of food down outside next to the pirate.
The starving pirate took one look at the warm, freshly and beautifully prepared dish and dug in.
"I… I've never had anything so good in my entire life!" the pirate gushed. "I don't know what to say! I thought I was a goner for sure!"
"Good, huh?" Sanji asked.
Luffy looked over at Sabo as they watched the exchange from a nearby railing. "Now I like him too!" Luffy turned and called out to Sanji. "I FOUND YOU! MY NEW COOK!"
Sanji eyed Luffy and Sabo as they dropped down from the railing on to the side deck. "Oh, you're the new guys. I guess that old bastard's got you working off the damage you caused. Why'd you fire at us?"
"It was a cannonball fired in self-defense," Luffy insisted, "It just… went off course."
"That doesn't make any sense," Sanji told him.
"Blame that dumbass marine," Sabo said. "He fired cannonballs at us for no reason. Luffy deflected them but they ended up hitting the restaurant. Now we're working off the damage."
"I'm surprised the Head Chef didn't kick both of your heads in," Sanji admitted. "That geezer used to be a famous pirate. This restaurant is his treasure."
"Oh, then can you tell us why this place is shaped like a fish?" Sabo inquired.
"It represents the old man's dream to find the All Blue," Sanji answered.
"What's that?" Luffy questioned.
A wide smile spread across Sanji's face. "The All Blue is a legendary ocean that's supposed to have every kind of fish in the world swimming through it. It's any true cook's dream to find it."
"Well if you're a true cook, what're you doing here instead of searching for the All Blue?" Sabo asked.
"Yeah!" Luffy exclaimed, "Join our crew! You can sail with us and find the All Blue!"
"I refuse," Sanji stated.
"NO, I REFUSE!" Luffy argued. "I REFUSE YOUR REFUSAL! You're a good cook so you're joining my crew!"
"Hey, at least listen to my reason," Sanji requested.
"Oh? What's that?" Luffy asked.
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Sanji snapped.
"BUT YOU SAID TO LISTEN!" Luffy complained.
"Hey! Get your dumb hat outta my face!"
"DON'T INSULT MY HAT! I'LL SEND YOU FLYING!"
"Uh… sorry to interrupt…"
Everyone looked over to see that the pirate had finished his meal.
"I'm Gin, by the way," the pirate introduced himself. "I'm a member of the Krieg Pirates. But if you two are pirates and you're trying to recruit him and go to find this 'All Blue' do you mind telling me what your goal is?"
"Easy," Luffy replied. "I'm gonna find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates."
Gin's expression turned grave. "Let me give you a piece of advice. Give up on your dream. Forget about going to the Grand Line. You're still young and you've got your whole lives ahead of you. Don't throw your lives away by sailing to the Grand Line."
"Do you know something about the Grand Line?" Sabo asked.
Gin paled, "I know barely anything… but all of its terrifying. The Grand Line is a sea of nightmares."
"You sure you're a Krieg Pirate?" Sanji questioned.
"Who's Krieg?" Luffy wondered.
"I… well, that's my friendly advice," Gin resolved. "I'm not going to stop you. Do what you want." Gin stepped onto a small raft. "Sanji, thank you for the food. You're my savoir. Can I come and eat again?"
"Sure, anytime," Sanji told him.
"ENOUGH SLACKING OFF OUT HERE!"
Everyone looked up to see Head Chef Zeff standing on a balcony outside the kitchen. Zeff clearly noticed the empty plate on the ground.
"Oh sorry…" Gin apologized, "Now you're gonna get in trouble for feeding me…"
Sanji stood up and casually kicked the plate off the deck into the water. "Why? There's no proof. Take care, Gin. Don't get caught again."
Gin dropped to his knees and gave his savoir Sanji a heartfelt bow before he sailed off.
"GET TO WORK YOU BUMS!" Zeff berated his Sous Chef and two new employees.
"Actually, we haven't gotten around to asking the others yet," Sabo pointed out. "Give us a moment to do that and then we'll get started."
"HURRY UP THEN!" Zeff shouted.
Sabo looked over Luffy as Sanji went back inside the restaurant, "And three months should give us plenty of time to change Sanji's mind."
"Yeah!" Luffy cheered. "We're gonna make Sanji our cook!"
The two brothers didn't notice it but Zeff smiled faintly before he headed inside.
"So that's the deal," Sabo finished explaining. He, Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Bonnie were occupying six chairs around a table in the corner of the Baratie dining room. "I managed to talk him down to three months if the four of us work here together. You guys just have to fix the damage while Luffy and I work downstairs. Those three months will give Luffy and me time to recruit Sanji as our Ship's Cook."
"I signed on to be a pirate not a carpenter!" Usopp complained.
"But we're Nakama," Luffy reminded him. "If we stick together here we'll get through it just like everything else. Plus they're gonna give us free food!"
"You guys helped save my village…" Usopp admitted, "I guess I can help you out here. But just because I'm working as a carpenter this one time, don't get any ideas of making this my regular job!"
"I'm fine sticking around here," Zoro stated. "I agreed to sail with you guys and Johnny said the man I'm looking for was once sighted here. If I stick around for three months I'll have a greater chance of seeing him if comes back."
"Well I'm not!" Nami weighed in. "I don't have three months to wait around here while you guys play waiters and carpenters."
"That's why I didn't include you in the deal," Sabo replied. "Unlike Luffy, I'm honoring the terms you joined us under. Those terms are that you never officially joined. You're just aligned with us for the time being. It's the same reason why I didn't offer to pay off the damage using the treasure you stole. It's yours and we have no right to it."
"Sabo! Don't be mean!" Luffy protested. "Nami's one of us."
"She's sailing with us but she never actually agreed to join us as Nakama," Sabo reminded him. "She hates pirates and I'm not going to force her to be something she hates." Sabo looked over at the navigator, "So Nami, if we're here too long you can feel free to leave at any time."
Nami was conflicted. Part of her was disappointed that one of her friends didn't actually consider her a friend. But another part was grateful that he was willing to let her go and take care of her business. Seeing that wanted poster had reminded her of the berries she was nearly done collecting.
Zoro and Usopp were just surprised that Luffy and Sabo were actually arguing over something.
"NO!" Luffy argued. "Nami's Nakama!" Luffy looked over at Nami, "Just give us some time Nami! Maybe we can get the old man to let us go early!"
"In the meantime," Sabo said. "I want to make the agreement with the Head Chef official." He signed an official-looking piece of paper and slid it into the middle of the table. "This is a contract with the deal written on it. Sign to show you agree to the terms and we can start and count today as our first day."
Zoro took the contract and signed his name. Usopp followed and signed with a flourish then slid it over to Luffy.
"Luffy, it's worth noting that I added a clause there that allows Zeff to break the contract and release us from our obligation at any time," Sabo informed him. "So if you can convince him to let us go early, that's our way out of this."
Luffy nodded and scribbled his name.
"HEY!" Usopp complained. "You ruined my fancy signature!"
"You punks done yet?" The Straw Hats looked up to see Head Chef Zeff looming over them.
"Just finished," Sabo announced as he handed Zeff the contract.
"Good, now get to work!" Zeff ordered. "Chore Boy, get to the kitchen. Waiter, start waiting tables. Carpenters, get upstairs. I wanna know how much material I need by the end of the day." Zeff paused and looked at Nami. "You, order something or get out."
And so the Straw Hats split up. Luffy tied on an apron and went into the kitchen. The sound of loud crashes and shouting soon followed.
"I've got some tools back on the Going Merry," Usopp told Zoro as they headed upstairs.
Sabo draped his coat over the back of Bonnie's chair and placed his top hat next to the rifle on the seat. He was left in his black boots, beige pants, white collared shirt, blue waistcoat and his cravat tie as he went over to Sanji.
"Right, let's get started," Sabo prompted.
Sanji nodded. "Here's how this is gonna work. I've got seniority so I get to wait on all the pretty women. You can have the guys, the old broads and the couples with kids."
Sabo shrugged, "Works for me. I'm spoken for."
Sanji raised a swirled eyebrow and glanced over at the Straw Hats' table. The second he saw Nami his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped causing his cigarette to fall to the floor.
"You… lucky… bastard…" Sanji growled.
"Yeah, I know," Sabo agreed. "Wait a minute…" He followed Sanji's line of sight to the table in the corner. "Not the girl! The rifle!"
Sanji blinked. "You're dating a…" Sanji trailed off when he realized something more important. "Wait, does that means she's single?"
"Yes," Sabo answered. "But I'd be careful with that one. She's a crafty thief. She's likely to break both your heart and your wallet." Sabo blinked and realized that Sanji was no longer next to him. The Sous Chef had been gone since the first word of Sabo's answer. That was all he needed to know.
"O'blessed are the oceans for bringing me this fine day!" Nami's eyes widened as she suddenly found the blonde Sous Chef swooning over her. "O' love! Laugh at me if you will at my poor soul who cannot endure your torturous passions! If I could be with you, I'd walk any path be it that a pirate or even a devil! But alas! It's tragic but there is a great obstacle between us!"
"And by obstacle, do you mean me, Sanji?" Zeff asked as he stood nearby and looked up from the Straw Hats' employment contract. "You should take this chance and go be a pirate. I don't need a guy like you in my restaurant."
"You bastard!" Sanji snarled. "I'm the Sous Chef at this restaurant! What do you mean I'm not needed?"
"You fight with half the customers then drool over the other half," Zeff stated, "The rest of the cooks don't like you and you can't even cook a decent meal. I don't need baggage like you dragging down this restaurant. Go be a pirate and get the hell outta here."
"SO THAT'S HOW IT IS, HUH?" Sanji demanded. "YOUR OTHER COMPLAINTS DON'T MATTER! BUT HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY COOKING!" Sanji grabbed Zeff by the collar. "I'M STAYING NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!"
"GET YOUR HANDS OFFA ME!"
KRASH!
Sanji went flying and nearly landed in Nami's lap as he crashed through the Straw Hats' table,
KER-CHOW!
Bonnie Anne went off. The bullet blasted straight up through the ceiling of the dining room, all the way through the kitchen, and blasted through the floor of the third-floor barracks.
"WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?" an angry cook demanded as he stared at the holes in the kitchen floor and ceiling.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Zoro yelled as he and Usopp peered down through the hole in the third floor.
"YOU GUYS ARE FIXING THAT TOO!" Zeff shouted up at them.
"Thanks a lot Bonnie!" Usopp grumbled.
"Aand he's relapsed," Nami noted as she eyed Usopp. "It's hopeless now."
"Yay! You got permission!" Luffy cheered from the kitchen door where he'd been listening. "Now you can join us!"
"SHUT UP!" Sanji snapped as he sat up then glared at Zeff. "YOU CAN'T CHASE ME OUTTA HERE! I'M GONNA TAKE OVER AS HEAD CHEF ONCE YOU DIE!"
"Not gonna happen," Zeff retorted as he turned to leave. "I'm gonna live forever."
"Lippy bastard..." Sanji growled.
"So you say you managed to escape the marines and that a cook saved your life?"
"Yes, Don Krieg," Gin answered. "Forgive me, I didn't know the flagship was in such horrible condition. Please, let me guide you to that restaurant… I'll take you to the Baratie."
And so as night fell, the Straw Hats continued their first day at the Baratie. Usopp and Zoro got their supply estimate to Zeff, Luffy broke everything he touched and Sabo proved to be a charismatic and surprisingly capable waiter.
"HEY! GIMME BACK MY DINNER!" a loud man suddenly yelled.
Sanji turned to see Luffy stuff the food he'd just swiped off the man's plate into his mouth. The Sous Chef growled and made his way over. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Oh, hey Sanji!" Luffy greeted him. "Sabo went on break. He asked me to cover him."
THWAK!
Sanji kicked Luffy over the head then dragged him up to the kitchen and tossed him inside. "TAKE THIS GUY BACK!"
"WE DON'T WANT HIM!" Patty called out. "The brat's already broken a dozen dishes!"
"And I could've broken more if you didn't stop me!" Luffy added.
"SOMEONE COVER THE DINING ROOM!" Sanji ordered. "I'm gonna go get the competent waiter back!"
Sanji stormed off and headed up another floor to the staff dining room/break room.
Sanji peered through the window in the door and spotted Sabo slow dancing with his rifle. Sanji rolled his eyes and raised his hand to knock when Sabo started to sing to his rifle.
"You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you"
Sanji lowered his hand and turned to lean back against the door as Sabo continued to serenade his rifle.
"Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that's real
You're just too good to be true
I can't take my eyes off you"
Sanji once again raised his hand to knock when Sabo launched into a very enthusiastic chorus.
"I love you baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh pretty baby
Don't let me down I pray
Oh pretty baby
Now that I've found you stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you…"
Sanji recovered and quickly knocked before Sabo could start the next verse.
"Eh? Who's there?" Sabo asked as he turned to the door.
Sanji let himself in. He noted that Sabo still had his rifle in a tight embrace. "You're needed back in the dining room."
"What? I've got another ten minutes left of my break," Sabo protested.
"Normally, that'd be the case," Sanji replied. "But the idiot that you got to cover you started swiping food off the customers' plates. So now your break's over."
"Damn it Luffy," Sabo complained as he tucked Bonnie Anne under his arm stalked passed Sanji out of the room. "It's bad enough you got us into this mess. Now I can't even get a moment's peace."
Sanji casually leaned back against the doorframe and lit up a cigarette. "It may be the single weirdest relationship that I've ever seen… but there's no denying he loves that rifle."
Yes, that was Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons' Can't Take My Eyes Off You which, for the record and the sake of a disclaimer, I don't own and make no money off of using in this story. If you don't recognize the song at all, ask your parents, The Four Seasons were popular in America back in the 60's. Why that song? Don't know. I've got a weird taste in music that spans show-tunes, oldies, Disney songs, various theme songs, Flogging Molly and even includes a few sea shanties. I don't know enough about Japanese songs and proper anime music to translate it so I stuck with what I know.
Silver signing off