~BEXLEY POV~
We walked through the door of David's home and saw the rest of the group sitting at the bar in the kitchen. I smiled when I caught Eleanor's sweet smile. David sat down a plate in front of her and she gestured to the seat beside her for me.
"It's good to see you, dear." She stood from her chair and embraced me. I returned the hug, enjoying the normal touch.
"It's good to see you too." I said and I couldn't help but be surprised at how normal it felt to hug her and I thought back to how she was the first one to ever touch me without pain following shortly after.
My father would hug me if a woman came over that he wanted to impress but after they'd slept together, she'd leave and I would have more bruises by next morning. I shook my head and tried to clear the memories that I knew would be at the back of my mind for a while.
Memories and my plans of leaving Quantico never strayed far from my mind. Looking at Eleanor and now Spencer, I couldn't help but want to be selfish and stay but I wouldn't put them in danger.
I'd seen first-hand what my father could do and I wouldn't put them through something like that. People that were truly close to me were erased from my life completely and I didn't want to think of a world without them in it. I looked at the rest of the B.A.U. team and as I saw their warm smiles I wouldn't risk their safety any more than it was risked every day of their lives.
"Here you go. I hope you enjoy it." Dave had a smile on his face as he placed a pasta dish in front of me.
"It looks amazing. What is it exactly?" I asked and he placed plates in front of the rest of the group before picking up a dish towel and wiping his hands.
"Orecchiette with Ricotta and Chard Pan Sauce. It's one of my favorite dishes. Italians know how to cook right." He sat beside Eleanor and picked up a fork, a proud gin on his face.
"Beh, è davvero sorprendente. Grazie." I felt all eyes on me and took a sip of the water in front of me.
Dave looked to me with a surprised but pleased smile "I like you even more now."
I laughed and blushed a little at the compliment. I wasn't used to them and didn't really like them, but being around the B.A.U. I'd learned to live with them. "My grandmother taught me how to speak Italian fluently. She was full Romanian and had lived there her whole life so she taught me the language as well. We'd always planned on taking a trip there." I felt a smile pull at my lips but couldn't help but feel a stab of pain in my heart.
I missed her desperately but refused to let it show. I felt a hand on mine and found myself not having to look up to see who's it was and found myself twining my fingers with his. It was cruel to get close to him like this when I had every intention of leaving, but it was a selfish want that I couldn't bring myself to ignore.
"Reid, you may be in trouble. I've heard Romanian's can be a bit of trouble." Spencer looked up from his dish to Derek, who had a mischievous smile on his face. Penelope smacked him on the arm lightly and laughed.
"Like you have room to talk, sweet cheeks." She said and I smiled at their exchange. I felt a little guilty for running off when she'd asked me about a girls day but I didn't know how to tell her that nothing would make me more uncomfortable.
I looked around and saw that JJ and Will weren't here tonight along with Hotch and Jack. "Where is everyone else?" Eleanor asked and I resisted the urge to laugh out loud at the coincidence.
"They stayed home with the kids tonight." Dave said and I took another sip of my water. "They did however ask us if we all wanted to go bowling this weekend? It's something that the kids could enjoy along with the rest of us."
"David, don't you think we're getting a little old for bowling?" Eleanor asked and the rest of the group laughed at the comment.
He raised an eyebrow at her before letting his face slip into a smile. "You're only as old as you feel and I've been in the F.B.I. for…" he looked at me and stopped himself before saying "a while."
I joined in on the laughter then and felt myself just relax around the group. "Bexley, dear." I looked up at Eleanor and smiled lightly, waiting for what she had to say. "I have something I've wanted to ask."
I stood from the bar and grabbed my dish before sitting it in the sink. "Ask away." I said and hoped my voice was calm despite the nervousness that I knew was in my eyes.
"You mentioned a grandmother earlier and I'd just like to know if any of your family will be coming by to see you. I'd love to meet them."
I bit my lip and put my hands on either side of the sink. "No, they won't be coming by or calling."
I knew they could hear the sound of relief in my voice. It wasn't entirely true, seeing as how my father was looking for me now but it wasn't a visit I cared to tell them about. I dreaded the thought of when he found me. I nearly wished that he'd be coming for me to kill me but he wanted the ten thousand dollars my grandmother had left me and if I could I'd give it to him but I couldn't have access to the money for another year. He'd believe it would be a lie and even if he did truly believe me, he wouldn't let me live that year away from him.
I decided that it was time to leave and was thankful for the paleness that had come over me from the fear. I turned to them and put a hand to my head, acting as if I had a horrible headache. "I truly hate to eat and leave, but I'm feeling a little dizzy. Thank you for the amazing dinner, David." I looked to Penelope, Derek, and Eleanor and smiled.
"I hope to see you all soon." I said and walked out of the kitchen.
Penelope stood and walked her dish over to the sink; she gave me a cautious look. I felt the urge to run but had learned a long time ago to stand my ground against a threat. This was no different. "We'll see you at the bowling thing this weekend, right?" I nodded and gave her a smile.
"Of course you will. Let me know when you want to do that girl's night thing." I said and she relaxed a little at this. I couldn't help but say a silent thank you.
I walked past Derek, who stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Have a good night, Bex." I placed my hand on his and nodded before walking over to Spencer, who stood from his stool.
"We'll see you guys this weekend." He said and I raised an eyebrow at him. I hoped my eyes showed more curiosity than annoyance.
"I'm ok enough to walk home alone; I'd hate to have you leave early because of me." I said and found this as trues as the fact that I was slightly annoyed.
He shrugged and opened the front door for me. I walked through the door and we began our walk home.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets and took a deep breath. "What is it, Spencer?" I asked softly but firmly as well.
"Why won't your family come and visit? More importantly, why did you sound relieved and terrified at the same time?" he asked and I almost tripped at how blunt he was.
I bit my lip and ran a hand through my hair to cover my face on the sides. I took a deep breath and was careful with how I worded what I was about to say. "My grandparents are both dead on my father's side. I'm not sure what happened to the ones on my mother's side, all I know is that they've never been around. I haven't seen my mother since I was six years old and my father…" I stopped then and placed my hands on my collarbone, over the scars he'd seen before.
I didn't say anything else until we reached the doors to our apartments. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I let my hands fall at my sides. "But you already knew."
A sad smile crossed his face and I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away from him, tears stung my eyes and I refused to let them fall. He dropped his hands from my shoulders but gently placed his hand under my chin until I looked up at him.
His brown eyes were warm and full of understanding and I waited for him to say something. He looked nervous but looked like he had something he wanted to tell me, so I listened carefully.
"My mother is schizophrenic and I have seen my father once in over 20 years. I was tormented all through school and through this time my mother was having her fits so she never noticed the days I got home late. I fell in love with someone a few years ago and the only time I saw her was when she was killed in front of me. I have to worry about the fact that I may not remember anything in 20 years and it scares me to know this because of all the things I never want to forget. What I'm trying to say is, we all have horrific past that we have to learn to live through and you're not alone anymore. I may not know exactly what you've been through but I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe. I won't let anyone hurt you.'
I absorbed every word he said and felt my heart beat a little faster. I found myself wanting to tell him all of the truth but couldn't. I refused to force him to deal with my life and I wouldn't let him put himself in danger. I felt a crushing guilt at the thought of forcing him to lose someone else and I knew I should have ran inside and packed up my bags then and left but I couldn't move from where I stood. I wouldn't tell him anything else about my life but I knew now that I would be here longer than I should.
His eyes locked on mine and he dropped his hands from my face to my lower back. I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck and let my hands tangle in his soft hair. I wasn't sure what I was doing and found myself scared. I knew this was wrong and cruel in so many ways but the reasonable part of my brain was quiet tonight.
He leaned in close to me and I could feel his breath on my lips. I felt my stomach do a backflip but refused to back away from him this time. I wanted this, I realized. I wanted to be selfish and I just wanted him close to me.
He had a question in his eyes and I simply closed mine. I felt my heart racing and I could hear my mind screaming at me but then I felt something I never thought I'd feel. He had closed the distance between our lips and I lost my ability to think. He pulled me closer to him by my waist but continued to gently kiss my lips.
He licked my bottom lip lightly and I let my lips part. The taste of his kiss was intoxicating and he continued to hold me close as his tongue gently massaged my own. We broke to breathe and I tried to settle my heartbeat, breaking away from the embrace. I looked up at him to see him smiling and running a hand through his hair, a nervous look on his face.
I smiled and pulled my hair away from my face before looking up at him. My heart continued to race but I composed facial expressions quickly. "I'm not very experienced but I don't think I could have imagined a better kiss."
He dropped his hands to his sides and looked into my bright gold eyes. I couldn't help but feel like he was seeing into my soul now but refused to look away this time. "I can't imagine a way it could be more perfect."
I unlocked and opened my door before looking back at him. "Goodnight, Spencer." I said and took a step inside my door.
He took a step closer and leaned down to place a quick, gentle kiss on my lips. "Goodnight, Bexley."
I closed my door behind me and heard his do the same thing. I placed my finger to my lips and thought about the kiss we just shared. I remembered that I would still have to leave soon and would have no choice now. That kiss sealed the argument and I knew that if I was selfish enough to stay around, I would lose Spencer. If I left, I would lose him all the same but at least I knew he would be happy with someone else. Eventually, I would be dragged back to my father's home and I would never see him again.
Either way, I was about to lose him forever. I slid down my door and wrapped my arms around my knees, crying softly as the cold, cruel reality invaded and settled in the front of my mind.
***Well there it is everyone. I hope you are all still enjoying the story. Gossamermouse101 thank you for your continuous reviews. They make me smile every time . R&R. I love hearing from you all and would love to hear your thoughts on how the story is progressing. Have a great day